My Mistress and Family - The Two Loves of My Life

author : Ontherun
comments : 0

Gut check! Striking a balance between your two loves can make and keep the relationship strong.

I have fallen in love! The problem is that my wife is not overwhelmingly happy for me. I love triathlons. I started to race in triathlons as a reward for working out. I, like many Americans, am overweight. Not training puts me at risk to add tons of weight and shorten my life due to weight-related problems. So for my family’s sake, I started to workout. The benefits have been huge. I have maintained a weight loss of over 30 pounds for close to 3 years and I am in the best shape of my life. This is the longest I have ever stayed with any sport or hobby in my 36 years.


My problem comes with keeping peace with my wife and my mistress, the ever alluring TRI. I tell my wife that I love her and that I am very glad I met her when I did. If I had not, I would probably be living at home with my parents, or in a crappy apartment, trying to find my next race. I love the fact that I am married with two kids and a home that I can call my own (along with the bank). The problem comes with balancing all the facets of my life.


I write this as a gut check. Tri really is a mistress for me and for many others like me. I have seen too many people in chats, on blogs, and at club workouts who have relationship problems. I understand that lots of people have relationship problems—my observation is that either triathletes seem to have quite a high rate of relationship problems, or are just more willing to talk about it. Either way, we need to keep our priorities in check.


For me, my family comes first, not fitness. Keep in mind that my fitness and my family are very close together to me. If I lose my fitness and health, I could jeopardize my ability to care for and be with my family. To be a triathletes does not require a huge commitment of time…unless you want to get better. Finding time for two-hour rides with a three-year-old and six-year-old can be challenging. Many times it just does not happen. That is my choice. I would find it very helpful to have a partner that would train and race with me. In my case, that has not happened and it is ok. I appreciate my wife understanding my need to train and race. She does not like it much, but she does understand. That is very helpful. Without it, I would have to choose between my health and my family, a choice I hope never to have to make.


No one knows what the future will bring, but doing a good gut check and keeping your basic priorities of life in order is something we all should do, athletes or not.
 

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date: July 2, 2006

Ontherun

Father of two, devoted husband, Clydesdale, hope to become just an age grouper someday. Competing in the 40-44 bracket this year. Have done a 1/2 Ironman tri, a marathon and a bunch of sprint and oly distance races. Member of BT since 12-1-03

avatarOntherun

Father of two, devoted husband, Clydesdale, hope to become just an age grouper someday. Competing in the 40-44 bracket this year. Have done a 1/2 Ironman tri, a marathon and a bunch of sprint and oly distance races. Member of BT since 12-1-03

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