Funny Things Kids Say (Page 2)

Couple of months ago my then 9 yr old son came up to me and measured the top of his head to where it hit on me (to see how tall he is getting compared to me).  He then says "Won't it be funny when I am taller than you but you will still weigh more than me?"

Go away now child!

And the child still lives?

this past week while on a ski holiday I shared a lift with a little kid from ski camp (she was about 5) - they often go up with other adults because the instructor can't take them all at the same time.

She starts talking about all sorts of things....one thing was that she told me she weighed 40 pounds - and I replied "I weigh about one HUNDRED and 40 pounds"....then she said: "well my mom weighs A LOT!!!"  (if only her mom knew!)

Jill

I once bumped into something and knocked my hip really hard in front of my then 4 or 5 year old neice.   I wanted to shout out the F word but kept it under wraps.   it bruised right awa and my neice said "I would have cried".  I said "I wasn't going to cry but I almost said a bad word".  She said "Like the E-word?".  Thinking I am missing some new great workd, I ask her what is the E-word.   she says "nana will get mad...".  I say, "well, if you are just telling me what it is rather than saying it, it isn't too bad and I won't tell".

she looks right and then left, and leans in to wisper ....."idiot". 

Trying not to laugh, I say, "something like that".

Also, at about 2 years old, HTM's Alyssa could say "How you doin'?" just like Joey Tribiani after a visit with Aunt Mary and Aunty Emily.

3 or 4 year old girl in front of me in line at the grocery store. she is all over her mom and her hand goes up the back of her shorts..."Mommy, you're not wearing any panties". The mom was very embarrassed. I still get a laugh with that one!

My 6-year old son seems to bring the word "poop" into every other sentence. Looking forward to him outgrowing that one.

Did you tell that mommy, "Good Girl !!" ??? 

This took place years ago but still makes me laugh when I'm reminded of it.

When my Son was around 4 or 5 he was really keen on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (yeah, I'm that old) One night as i was putting him to bed (was around Easter) his head was as usual full of questions. That night he wanted to know why Jesus was put to the cross. To the best of my (atheist) ability I explained to him what happened. He pondered this for a few moments then said...."ya know, it's too bad Jesus didn't know karate"

Christ - Fu

O my gosh guys, these posts are just too funny!!  Thank goodness I am alone in the office today, I almost snorted my coffee

Grandma was just in for a visit... one of the gifts she brought was a book about animals in the sea. When reading it she asked my 2 1/2 yr old to name the animals... when looking @ the page that had a lobster ... he said.. "That's a CRAP!"... as we ALLLLLLLL died laughing.... once composed... he was instructed to call it a crabbbbbbbb... lol.

hahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahh THAT is hysterical.

Here's another one. Daughter this time.

She was about  3 at the time when we were driving to Sacramento to visit the in laws.  One particular bathroom stop my wife informs me she isn't feeling well and that I needed to assist my daughter with the "#2" task. The place we stopped at had to be one of the biggest & busiest truck stops I'd ever been at and being 20 years ago the trucker stereotype was a tad on the "rough around the edges" so to speak.

Anyway I get my daughter set up in stall and tell her I'll just wait on the other side of the door till you're done.  So there I am hanging around the mens washroom involved in no  particular task except waiting for Stephanie to finish when out comes the call at a very audible 3 year old voice.  "DADDY I'M FINISHED, YOU CAN WIPE MY BUM NOW!"

The place became quite quiet and for a moment I considered pretending to not knowing who's kid that was.   

My just turned four year old said today, "Mom, it's froggy outside today."  My seven year old said, 'no, it's foggy' but I said froggy was way cuter!

 We were driving home awhile ago and saw a bumper sticker that said, "Coal is dirty."  My husband and I read it out loud at the same time and our son, Cole, said, "no I'm not."

In Florida, after playing on the beach, we cleaned up at the hotel room and walked over to the "Ron Jon" surfshop.  My older son (4 at the time) has to use the facilities.  He has his own stall, I'm waiting outside the stall.  Waiting.  Waiting.   Waiting...

Finally, I ask him what's taking so long.  He tells me, he's looking for his underwear.  Even though his pants were still around his ankles, he was looking EVERYWHERE.

Eventually, it was realized that after changing from the beach, he forgot to put them on.

He learned the word "Commando" that day.

But the fact that he was seriously searching for a few minutes like they'd just disappeared...

Kind of a funny and an Awwww in one.  Yesterday was a house cleaning day while the kids played.  Wife had folded towels right out of the dryer and put them in a small laundry basket.  Our 3 year old son begins taking some of the towels out and putting them back in the dryer. 

Mom: "No, stop that."  

Son: "too heavy."  

Mom:  "What?"

Son:  (attempting to pick up the basket) "too heavy."   and proceeds to put more back into the dryer then picks up the basket and carries it to our bedroom.

Good kid.  He's been trained well.