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2008-04-08 2:18 PM
in reply to: #1320870

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Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say
condorman - 2008-04-07 1:18 PM

In Florida, after playing on the beach, we cleaned up at the hotel room and walked over to the "Ron Jon" surfshop. My older son (4 at the time) has to use the facilities. He has his own stall, I'm waiting outside the stall. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting...

 

Finally, I ask him what's taking so long. He tells me, he's looking for his underwear. Even though his pants were still around his ankles, he was looking EVERYWHERE.

Eventually, it was realized that after changing from the beach, he forgot to put them on.

He learned the word "Commando" that day.

But the fact that he was seriously searching for a few minutes like they'd just disappeared...

LOL! My kids learned the term "commando" recently also.  The day after I explained it to them my wife asked me why our daughter kept asking about "going commancho."  I had to explain and then correct the kids. 



2008-04-08 2:22 PM
in reply to: #1324044

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Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say
Fatdoggy - 2008-04-08 2:18 PM

condorman - 2008-04-07 1:18 PM

In Florida, after playing on the beach, we cleaned up at the hotel room and walked over to the "Ron Jon" surfshop. My older son (4 at the time) has to use the facilities. He has his own stall, I'm waiting outside the stall. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting...

 

Finally, I ask him what's taking so long. He tells me, he's looking for his underwear. Even though his pants were still around his ankles, he was looking EVERYWHERE.

Eventually, it was realized that after changing from the beach, he forgot to put them on.

He learned the word "Commando" that day.

But the fact that he was seriously searching for a few minutes like they'd just disappeared...

LOL! My kids learned the term "commando" recently also.  The day after I explained it to them my wife asked me why our daughter kept asking about "going commancho."  I had to explain and then correct the kids. 



Mine - both the boys and girls for some reason - call this "free ballin."
2008-04-08 9:54 PM
in reply to: #1312282

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Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say

My wife cc:ed me on this email she sent to the grandparents : thought it was fitting for this thread

 



A Recent Conversation with Patrick:

"Mommy, can have I $3595?" he asked.

"What?"

"Can I have $3595?"

"No, of course not."

"Can I have your car keys?"

"No."

He lingered; standing first on one foot, then the other.

"Do you need to pee?" I asked.

"Uh-unh," he said. "So speaking of experiments, can I take the screen out of my window and climb out onto the roof? Just a little bit? If I am really really careful?"

"Good GRIEF, NO!" I said.

He drifted away, only to reappear like mist a few minutes later.

"Hey Mommy, would it be ok if I wrote on Connor? I'd use the washable markers."

"What? No."

"How about Guinness? I could draw a rainbow on his head! I could draw Winnie, so he could still see her."

"No no no no no. Also, no."

"Mommy, can I play with Winnie's ashes? I promise to be really careful."

"Absolutley NOT."

"Well, then, can I have a popsicle?"

"Yes!" I said.

"Fine!" I said. "Yes, you can have a popsicle."

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Patrick cheered and he pumped his fists in the air as he ran a victory lap around the kitchen. I laughed and gave him the popiscle; but later realized that he had already had a popiscle and therefore was no longer eligible for one. The fink.

 

 

 

edited to point out that just turned 5 a couple weeks ago (b/c if it turns out he was 15 years old, this wouldn't be funny - just more on the sad side of things



Edited by condorman 2008-04-08 9:56 PM
2008-04-08 11:09 PM
in reply to: #1312282

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(North) Phoenix, AZ
Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say
told to me by a friend: She was visiting her friend who had a daughter (2ish). The little girl was playing in the other room. She comes out and extends her hand to her mother, and says, "Mommy, smell!" So she does and says to her daughter, "What's that?". "My ba-ji-ney!"
2008-04-09 9:11 AM
in reply to: #1312282

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Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say
My 3.5 yr old niece in response to having just come from her grandfather's funeral said:

"It's sad that Papa died, but I'm not sad, Grandma's not dead."
2008-05-28 4:34 PM
in reply to: #1312282

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COURT JESTER
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Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say

Reviving this thread based on comments from our 3 year old son:

Sunday during our daughters birthday party he wanted to play with one of her new toys that was still strapped in the box:   Wife says, "Ask daddy to get it out, he's strong."  Without missing a beat he looks a momma and asks, "You not strong?"

 

This morning he got up and came into our bed.  He picks up momma's book and asks, "What this book called?"   Momma:  "It's called BLOW OUT."   Christian, "That about Puking?"



2008-05-28 4:43 PM
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Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say

I was at my aunt's house when my 3 year old cousin comes into the kitchen and announces "me and (my brothers) are going outside and we're gonna have a F%&#ing good time." I managed to keep my laughter contained until he went outside to have his ____________ good time.

David

2008-05-28 4:54 PM
in reply to: #1429495

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Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say
My 4-year-old was attempting to get a favorite toy off a high shelf that he can't reach.

I ask him if he needs help.

He says, "Yeah. I can't reach it. I'm too medium."

Apparently, he's been learning about small, medium and large in pre-school.


2008-05-29 2:30 PM
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Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say
at the age of five we tool my nephew to orlando to disney. about 3 days after we got home, he walked into my bedroom and told me, "Aunt Z, i'm going to orlando." i said, " No babe, went went to orlando last week." He said, " No i'm going to orlando." I again explained that we had already gone and weren't going again. He then dropped his soccer shorts and said, " No i'm going to orlando. I'm not wearing any boxers." I then explained the word commando to him! ofcourse this is the same kid who told me on the first day of second grade that his teach was rather attractive. i asked him why he said that and he said that he had told his mom that he thought his teacher was sexy but his mom said that rather attractive sounded better!  now that he is a 15 year old who thinks the world revolves around him and baseball, i miss those funny moments!
2008-05-29 2:41 PM
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Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say
I was at a hotel swimming pool last week with my 4 year old son and wife hanging out.  My son had to go to the bathroom about every 5 minutes (probably from all the water he had been drinking from the pool while learning to swim).  I got tired of taking him to the room so tried to explain to him that he should just pee in the pool (I know it is gross but deal with it).  So later that day there is a couple, probably in their 20's, in the pool and he is talking to them.  All of a sudden my says "May dad pees in the water!"   They bust of laughing and say that made the trip but my wife got embarassed, which made the trip for me.
2008-05-29 3:01 PM
in reply to: #1312282

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Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say

My wife and daughter split from me at Christmastime to do a little shopping, then we reconvened at the local steak place. I looked down and realized I didn't have a knife.

"Daddy, you don't have a knife," my daughter asked.

"No honey, they forgot mine."

"That's okay, Mommy and I just bought you one."

 

My first and still favorite chef knife. I think of that story every time I use it.



2008-05-29 5:07 PM
in reply to: #1431706

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Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say
Josh is coming up with funny insights, questions and oddities --- He's 5
Mom... do we come back after we die?
Hmm.... you mean back to life?
Yeah
Well, no one really knows. Why?
Cuz if we do come back, I don't wanna come back to you. (oh break my heart!)
Why?
Cuz another house probably doesn't have time outs.
Well, pretty much all mommies and daddies give time outs.
(josh ponders this a moment and then) I know! I'd come back all alone! That way I could eat all the candy I wanted and get all the toys in the world!!
_____
(DH told me this one)
The other night Josh and John are getting out of John's car and coming in the front door. I'm inside. Knucklehead happens to be under the front bushes and comes out to greet them but Josh doesn't notice him. Knucks is MEOWING and Josh asks John - "Is that Mom yelling?" Haaaa!
____
Tonight as we are all pulling into the Home Depot parking lot, Josh announces that he can READ now. I say Wow! Way to go! and ask 'so what can you read?" He says 'everything' with confidence! So I point to the sign just in front of us "No Parking, Violators will be Towed" and ask him "what's that say?" and he says "I know, but I'm not going to tell you!" Haaa!
_____
The other morning on the way to drop him at daycare we were stopped at a light and a woman, quite a large, overweight woman, walked across in the crosswalk. As she passed the car Josh asks "Mommy...why do some people look like that?" I ask "What?" He says, "With big wrinkly tummies that stick out so wayyyy far" haaaa!
___
The proverbial: Mommy? Why don't you have a penis?
___
One day he had to change his underwear during the day at preschool because he had a near accident with a poop in his pants --- skid marks. (he has a duplicate set of clothes there..undies, sox, pants etc.. in case of getting muddy, dirty or in this case soiled underwear) So as we get into the car and begin to drive home he tells me about how bad he had to go and that a girl was in front of him and she took so long that he almost pooped in his pants. (Sure...blame it on a girl! ha)  I ask why didn't he go to another stall and he says "I dunno" Then he asks "Mommy...did you ever poop in your pants at work?" I say (holding back laughter) "well, if I did, that would be a really bad day at work'. Without missing a beat he adds "yeah especially if you didn't have extra underwear to change into!" Haaa!
----
And this one tonight:
Driving in car Josh says "mommy I just saw someone who looked just like you' I ask 'Was it a man or woman?" He says it was a lady. I ask, "was she pretty?" he says, "No" (hmmmm) Then I ask "well then did she have big boobs like mommy?" (I'm a 36a!) and he says while grinning "Yeah, she had boobs that went from here to that car down the road!"  

 

Gotta love 'em!



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Edited by BbMoozer 2008-05-29 5:08 PM
2008-05-29 8:15 PM
in reply to: #1312282

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Subject: RE: Funny Things Kids Say

No kids here, but I have 5 nieces and 1 nephew.  A few years ago, my sister calls me laughing.  Here oldest - now 10 - was sitting in the back seat after watching a football game at my parents house and says "Mommy, did the Patriots used to be good?' (this is one of the bad years).  My sister says "yes." Emily says "then why do they suck now?" 

"this sucks, that sucks, etc." is/was one of my sister's favorite comments.

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