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2012-09-21 12:14 PM
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Elite
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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!
Really been down lately.  Because of ANOTHER injury (siatica/piriformus) I am not able to S/B or R right now. Can't even lift weights which I love to do. Went for a walk last night and ended up crying all the way home because of the pain.  I am seeing a PT right now but I depend on my exercise for my brain.  Have been on anti-depressants since my divorce in 2007. I realize things could be worse but not sure what to do. 


2012-09-21 3:01 PM
in reply to: #4422261

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!

amyjotris - 2012-09-21 12:14 PM Really been down lately.  Because of ANOTHER injury (siatica/piriformus) I am not able to S/B or R right now. Can't even lift weights which I love to do. Went for a walk last night and ended up crying all the way home because of the pain.  I am seeing a PT right now but I depend on my exercise for my brain.  Have been on anti-depressants since my divorce in 2007. I realize things culd be worse but not sure what to do. 

Hang in there. it will get better.  Exercise is great to hold off depression and when you cant, well, it totally sucks I know!  Find some other outlets, re-read a favorite book, journal or write a story, do anything to engage your brain.  You wont get that endorphin buzz, but if the brain is busy, It wont be sitting there telling you "This sucks....."

2012-09-21 7:08 PM
in reply to: #4422614

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!
ChicagoMan65 - 2012-09-21 3:01 PM

amyjotris - 2012-09-21 12:14 PM Really been down lately.  Because of ANOTHER injury (siatica/piriformus) I am not able to S/B or R right now. Can't even lift weights which I love to do. Went for a walk last night and ended up crying all the way home because of the pain.  I am seeing a PT right now but I depend on my exercise for my brain.  Have been on anti-depressants since my divorce in 2007. I realize things culd be worse but not sure what to do. 

Hang in there. it will get better.  Exercise is great to hold off depression and when you cant, well, it totally sucks I know!  Find some other outlets, re-read a favorite book, journal or write a story, do anything to engage your brain.  You wont get that endorphin buzz, but if the brain is busy, It wont be sitting there telling you "This sucks....."

[/QU



Edited by firstnet911 2012-09-21 7:09 PM
2012-09-21 7:14 PM
in reply to: #4422614

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!
ChicagoMan65 - 2012-09-21 3:01 PM

amyjotris - 2012-09-21 12:14 PM Really been down lately.  Because of ANOTHER injury (siatica/piriformus) I am not able to S/B or R right now. Can't even lift weights which I love to do. Went for a walk last night and ended up crying all the way home because of the pain.  I am seeing a PT right now but I depend on my exercise for my brain.  Have been on anti-depressants since my divorce in 2007. I realize things culd be worse but not sure what to do. 

Hang in there. it will get better.  Exercise is great to hold off depression and when you cant, well, it totally sucks I know!  Find some other outlets, re-read a favorite book, journal or write a story, do anything to engage your brain.  You wont get that endorphin buzz, but if the brain is busy, It wont be sitting there telling you "This sucks....."

Thank you!!!

2012-09-22 1:17 AM
in reply to: #4422261

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!

amyjotris - 2012-09-22 1:14 AM Really been down lately.  Because of ANOTHER injury (siatica/piriformus) I am not able to S/B or R right now. Can't even lift weights which I love to do. Went for a walk last night and ended up crying all the way home because of the pain.  I am seeing a PT right now but I depend on my exercise for my brain.  Have been on anti-depressants since my divorce in 2007. I realize things could be worse but not sure what to do. 

I love you, AY JAY.

You're my favorite Ironbabe.

Is there any type of yoga you might be able to do (even like meditation/death pose?) That really helped me when I was so laid up I couldn't do anything else.

Anything in the water?

You are in my heart, arms, and prayers.

2012-09-22 2:04 AM
in reply to: #1319576

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!
Feeling really sad and unfocussed lately. Obsessing over things and having major stress in my life. I so wish I could turn the clock back and change some things.


2012-09-25 5:26 PM
in reply to: #1319576

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!

AJ - Sorry you are in here, but glad you could come :-) Positive coping mechanisms are quite hard when you don't feel like doing anything - or what you do feel like you can't do! Have you thought about talking to your doc about adjusting meds? I know that this isn't ALWAYS the answer, but I'm guessing that meds may need to be adjusted from time to time?!!? (I don't know, I've never been on the same thing for more than a year!)

Cathy - Don't we all wish we could change things?!? Ugh! I do! But alas, we can not. Hard pill to swallow, but...most of the time you feel better after taking a pill. Unless it makes you vomit, or gives you a rash, or its poisonous... Reverting to (healthy) things that have helped you in the past is important. And as I asked AJ, meds status? I know some don't believe and medication, and some don't need them - but I know that I will be dependent on meds for the rest of my life and I can tell when I haven't taken them a few hours after my dose...

2012-09-26 1:03 AM
in reply to: #4423113

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!

cathyd - 2012-09-22 3:04 PM Feeling really sad and unfocussed lately. Obsessing over things and having major stress in my life. I so wish I could turn the clock back and change some things.

Sweet Cathy. {MELON PRESS} You have been through so very much.

Hang in there, and hang out with us. We all have different circumstances, but not so different as you'd imagine, and we absolutely do understand the feelings.

2012-09-26 12:48 PM
in reply to: #1319576

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!

Hi everyone, I kinda introduced myself a while back, but have been illusive due to illness on and off. Finally got an official diagnosis (bipolar) by a pdoc last week after 6 years of struggling without meds. Starting on Seroquel next week and a bit worried it will zombify me so I wont be able to train, was told by the pdoc that apart from the well publized "weight gain syndrome" of bp meds that this causes sedation also, which probably isn't a bad thing cause I've been the angry anxiety filled hulk for the better part of the year, I just don't wanna fall asleep riding up a hill in the middle of traffic!

But seriously has anyone had an experience with this med? Apparently I'm going to be put on valporate soon but this one is supposed to get everything under control first. Don't mind telling you I'm sh*tting myself, but it's gotta be better than what I've been through this year cause I'm sick of my life being outta control! Anyway thanks for listening. Hope everyone else who is struggling finds some inner peace soon, I'm a great advocate for exercise taming the internal beast too, has really helped me which is why I don't want meds to interfere with my training.

Big warm healing hugs to all! Smile

2012-09-26 1:12 PM
in reply to: #4428619

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!
kruzmeister - 2012-09-27 1:48 AM

Hi everyone, I kinda introduced myself a while back, but have been illusive due to illness on and off. Finally got an official diagnosis (bipolar) by a pdoc last week after 6 years of struggling without meds. Starting on Seroquel next week and a bit worried it will zombify me so I wont be able to train, was told by the pdoc that apart from the well publized "weight gain syndrome" of bp meds that this causes sedation also, which probably isn't a bad thing cause I've been the angry anxiety filled hulk for the better part of the year, I just don't wanna fall asleep riding up a hill in the middle of traffic!

But seriously has anyone had an experience with this med? Apparently I'm going to be put on valporate soon but this one is supposed to get everything under control first. Don't mind telling you I'm sh*tting myself, but it's gotta be better than what I've been through this year cause I'm sick of my life being outta control! Anyway thanks for listening. Hope everyone else who is struggling finds some inner peace soon, I'm a great advocate for exercise taming the internal beast too, has really helped me which is why I don't want meds to interfere with my training.

Big warm healing hugs to all! Smile

Welcome back! and {MELON PRESS} back atcha.

This is the single best resource (which leads to so many other resources, and has its own forums just like here) on we mentally interesting people (and neurological disorders) and medication:

http://www.crazymeds.us/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage

I took Seroquel and it cut the psychosis out of my depression fast, and I slept well on it without zombification. However, I did go off it because it caused my legs to do the herky-jerky.

Also, many undesirable effects (other than dyskinesia, which is something serious to look out for with atypical antipsychotics and a host of other neuropsych meds) tend to lessen with time, so if it isn't killing you or making things worse, med regimens are best to stick out if you can because they may really work for you. And if they don't, you pretty much find out for sure.

2012-09-26 6:55 PM
in reply to: #1319576

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!

Thanks people for your kind words.  Feeling MUCH better today as one of the major stressors in my life lately is gone (for now). I even went to the gym today for the first time in months and ran on the treadmill.  Have lost about 12 lbs in the past few weeks and feeling better about myself which is helping (I have major food and body image issues).  Sending peaceful thoughts and wishes to all.



2012-09-26 9:18 PM
in reply to: #1319576

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Just stumbled across this thread...I don't think I'm depressed but Moods I got lots of 'em.  Today is a good day - I'm heading for menopause and the mood swings that come with that are pretty unreal - complete blubbering mess a few times a month, black darkness, I see no light on these days.  BT gets me through this as well as my DH and friends etc.

Next time this blackness descends I'm logging onto this thread.  Such a lot of support amazing.

Hang in there everyone else - try and remember the good days!

2012-09-27 2:09 AM
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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!

Cathy - congrats on the weight loss, that is awesome! Glad you are feeling better too and had a good sesh at the gym!Smile

TA - thanks for the link (and the melon press!! Smile), have had a quick look, info about the med is pretty much what my pdoc told me, guess I just gotta wait and see how it affects me personally. I have postponed any races till Dec, I figure that'll give my system a couple of months to settle and by then I'll hopefully know of any worrying side effects. As I say anything's gotta be better than what it has been like for most of this year.

Peace and hugs to all!

2012-10-03 9:43 AM
in reply to: #1319576

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!

Hey everyone.

I'd been doing reasonably well lately, but the past two weeks have been bad.  I've been having trouble sleeping (or sleeping a ton), feeling like I'm going to cry, etc. etc.  Thinking that it's not really the anti-depressants not working as much as it is my thyroid levels are (still) way off.  Have an appointment with my endocrinologist tomorrow so we will see. 

I'm so tired of this never-ending battle.  Every time I think it is getting better, it gets worse again.  I really wish this was something that could be cured and we could be done with it.

2012-12-20 10:30 AM
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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!
Just a holiday bump to see how everyone is doing.   Fighting a cold/flu for the last month but other than that not bad.  Hope all is well!!!!!!!!!!!
2012-12-21 8:40 PM
in reply to: #1319576

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!

Add me to the list... you know this is something that is really hard to see for yourself and admit publicly.  In spite of my declining speed and not being able to sleep through the night in a long time, someone I hadn't seen in a long time told me I "looked horrible" the other week.  Since I saw her last I've been through a lot that has been difficult for me. 

I "thought" I was fine, but turns out I'm a horrible judge of that.  I was in an accident last week and found my self in my doctor's office.  He starting talking depression and I started listening best I could. 

I'm on Lexapro and since then I've slept every night, except for one.  I actually had a long run and ran sub 7 minute miles, something I used to do easily and haven't done in a long time.  It has only been a little over a week.  I also have Xanax for moments where "I'm about to jump  off a cliff", haven't touched them, nor do I plan to, but I have them nonetheless.     

I don't know if I "feel" any better, I sleep better and otherwise I'm foggy at times.  I've just had a pretty rough last two years of life.     



2013-01-03 3:10 PM
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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!

I don't really know where to start... I know I'm not doing well, but at the same time I feel guilty about it.   The last day I worked was May 31st of last year and then moved to the US with the thought that I'd be able to get a Green Card by the end of the year.  Well, it's now January of 2013 and I still have about 3-4 months until I'll even get an interview. I'm legally not allowed to contact any companies or recruiting companies to even start a job search at this point - though I take a look on the various job sites almost daily to see what's out there. 

We've been living off of 1 income since June 2012 and staying in Tony's 500 sq/ft. studio.  I'm stuck in the position of having a whole lot of time, but not having any money to do anything.  This also means no money to sign up for races which leads to pretty much no motivation to work out.  The weather isn't helping in that regard either.  Below freezing isn't my idea of any kind of training conditions, ideal or otherwise.  I also can't volunteer because I can't prove that I'm a resident of Chicago.  I've tried the library, the Humane Society, the Anti-Cruelty Society, the Freedom Project, Legal Aid, the Shedd Aquarium and the Field Museum.  I've been able to volunteer at a number of races but that's it.  

I shouldn't really feel so low - but I do.  It's to the point that I don't see the point in getting dressed, showering, opening the blinds or really doing anything other than sitting on the couch.  I'm hoping I snap out of it once my immigration really starts rolling, but until then I think I just needed to vent. 

2013-01-03 3:48 PM
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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!
blueyedbikergirl - 2013-01-03 3:10 PM

I don't really know where to start... I know I'm not doing well, but at the same time I feel guilty about it.   The last day I worked was May 31st of last year and then moved to the US with the thought that I'd be able to get a Green Card by the end of the year.  Well, it's now January of 2013 and I still have about 3-4 months until I'll even get an interview. I'm legally not allowed to contact any companies or recruiting companies to even start a job search at this point - though I take a look on the various job sites almost daily to see what's out there. 

We've been living off of 1 income since June 2012 and staying in Tony's 500 sq/ft. studio.  I'm stuck in the position of having a whole lot of time, but not having any money to do anything.  This also means no money to sign up for races which leads to pretty much no motivation to work out.  The weather isn't helping in that regard either.  Below freezing isn't my idea of any kind of training conditions, ideal or otherwise.  I also can't volunteer because I can't prove that I'm a resident of Chicago.  I've tried the library, the Humane Society, the Anti-Cruelty Society, the Freedom Project, Legal Aid, the Shedd Aquarium and the Field Museum.  I've been able to volunteer at a number of races but that's it.  

I shouldn't really feel so low - but I do.  It's to the point that I don't see the point in getting dressed, showering, opening the blinds or really doing anything other than sitting on the couch.  I'm hoping I snap out of it once my immigration really starts rolling, but until then I think I just needed to vent. 

Really sorry to hear that.  Could you possibly volunteer at the Canadian Consulate in Chicago?  I think if you volunteer for Running Away Multisport (not the best but it is a start) you can get a discount on a race.  Not sure about that but it is worth a try.  They also have Thursday night running at their Bucktown store.   I believe Fleet Feet has something like that too.   Also The Chicago Park District is having a free week of workouts either this week or next.  Does Tony have a gym in his building that he could sneak you in?  I have some people who do that at my building.  (222 West Monroe).  Hopefully things in the next few months get better!!!  Good luck!!

2013-01-03 4:04 PM
in reply to: #4560644

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!
TeddieMao - 2013-01-03 3:48 PM
blueyedbikergirl - 2013-01-03 3:10 PM

I don't really know where to start... I know I'm not doing well, but at the same time I feel guilty about it.   The last day I worked was May 31st of last year and then moved to the US with the thought that I'd be able to get a Green Card by the end of the year.  Well, it's now January of 2013 and I still have about 3-4 months until I'll even get an interview. I'm legally not allowed to contact any companies or recruiting companies to even start a job search at this point - though I take a look on the various job sites almost daily to see what's out there. 

We've been living off of 1 income since June 2012 and staying in Tony's 500 sq/ft. studio.  I'm stuck in the position of having a whole lot of time, but not having any money to do anything.  This also means no money to sign up for races which leads to pretty much no motivation to work out.  The weather isn't helping in that regard either.  Below freezing isn't my idea of any kind of training conditions, ideal or otherwise.  I also can't volunteer because I can't prove that I'm a resident of Chicago.  I've tried the library, the Humane Society, the Anti-Cruelty Society, the Freedom Project, Legal Aid, the Shedd Aquarium and the Field Museum.  I've been able to volunteer at a number of races but that's it.  

I shouldn't really feel so low - but I do.  It's to the point that I don't see the point in getting dressed, showering, opening the blinds or really doing anything other than sitting on the couch.  I'm hoping I snap out of it once my immigration really starts rolling, but until then I think I just needed to vent. 

Really sorry to hear that.  Could you possibly volunteer at the Canadian Consulate in Chicago?  I think if you volunteer for Running Away Multisport (not the best but it is a start) you can get a discount on a race.  Not sure about that but it is worth a try.  They also have Thursday night running at their Bucktown store.   I believe Fleet Feet has something like that too.   Also The Chicago Park District is having a free week of workouts either this week or next.  Does Tony have a gym in his building that he could sneak you in?  I have some people who do that at my building.  (222 West Monroe).  Hopefully things in the next few months get better!!!  Good luck!!

Thank you so much for writing - I'm almost in tears today and just you writing back has lifted my spirits a little.  On your idea, I just called the Consulate office in Chicago, and unfortunately they don't take volunteers.  Any place I would be allowed to volunteer would really have to be walking distance from State/Congress as I really don't have the funds for travel (either public transit or by cab) other than very rarely.  Yes, we are in THAT bad a spot financially, and we still owe thousands for the immigration lawyer. 

No gym in the building - though I've been going to XSport... I just need to find the motivation to actually get up and get out the door, and that's the hardest part right now.   I know things will get better - it just feels like it's a long way off still. 

2013-01-03 4:26 PM
in reply to: #4560684

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!
blueyedbikergirl - 2013-01-03 4:04 PM
TeddieMao - 2013-01-03 3:48 PM
blueyedbikergirl - 2013-01-03 3:10 PM

I don't really know where to start... I know I'm not doing well, but at the same time I feel guilty about it.   The last day I worked was May 31st of last year and then moved to the US with the thought that I'd be able to get a Green Card by the end of the year.  Well, it's now January of 2013 and I still have about 3-4 months until I'll even get an interview. I'm legally not allowed to contact any companies or recruiting companies to even start a job search at this point - though I take a look on the various job sites almost daily to see what's out there. 

We've been living off of 1 income since June 2012 and staying in Tony's 500 sq/ft. studio.  I'm stuck in the position of having a whole lot of time, but not having any money to do anything.  This also means no money to sign up for races which leads to pretty much no motivation to work out.  The weather isn't helping in that regard either.  Below freezing isn't my idea of any kind of training conditions, ideal or otherwise.  I also can't volunteer because I can't prove that I'm a resident of Chicago.  I've tried the library, the Humane Society, the Anti-Cruelty Society, the Freedom Project, Legal Aid, the Shedd Aquarium and the Field Museum.  I've been able to volunteer at a number of races but that's it.  

I shouldn't really feel so low - but I do.  It's to the point that I don't see the point in getting dressed, showering, opening the blinds or really doing anything other than sitting on the couch.  I'm hoping I snap out of it once my immigration really starts rolling, but until then I think I just needed to vent. 

Really sorry to hear that.  Could you possibly volunteer at the Canadian Consulate in Chicago?  I think if you volunteer for Running Away Multisport (not the best but it is a start) you can get a discount on a race.  Not sure about that but it is worth a try.  They also have Thursday night running at their Bucktown store.   I believe Fleet Feet has something like that too.   Also The Chicago Park District is having a free week of workouts either this week or next.  Does Tony have a gym in his building that he could sneak you in?  I have some people who do that at my building.  (222 West Monroe).  Hopefully things in the next few months get better!!!  Good luck!!

Thank you so much for writing - I'm almost in tears today and just you writing back has lifted my spirits a little.  On your idea, I just called the Consulate office in Chicago, and unfortunately they don't take volunteers.  Any place I would be allowed to volunteer would really have to be walking distance from State/Congress as I really don't have the funds for travel (either public transit or by cab) other than very rarely.  Yes, we are in THAT bad a spot financially, and we still owe thousands for the immigration lawyer. 

No gym in the building - though I've been going to XSport... I just need to find the motivation to actually get up and get out the door, and that's the hardest part right now.   I know things will get better - it just feels like it's a long way off still. 

Damn Canadians!  There is a Meetup Group in Chicago called the Chicago Expat Canadian Meetup Group.  Sounds like a biker gang but could be cool.  I'll sneak you in to my gym but it is nothing much.  You can always get a free pass to Equinox (Monroe & Franklin).  Boredom sucks!!!  Sorry again!  But just think the sun will come out in Chicago in about 4 months!!!

2013-01-04 9:20 AM
in reply to: #4560743

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!
TeddieMao - 2013-01-03 4:26 PM

Damn Canadians!  There is a Meetup Group in Chicago called the Chicago Expat Canadian Meetup Group.  Sounds like a biker gang but could be cool.  I'll sneak you in to my gym but it is nothing much.  You can always get a free pass to Equinox (Monroe & Franklin).  Boredom sucks!!!  Sorry again!  But just think the sun will come out in Chicago in about 4 months!!!

Thanks for the tip - as a previous biker, I can guarantee you that no biker gang would have such a long name.  It would never fit on the jackets! 

No need to sneak me into a gym - the Xsport on State/9th(ish) is where I've got an "in" - the hard part right now really is just having the motivation to actually get out the front door.  Most days I just don't see the point.  

Boredom does indeed suck!!! 



2013-01-07 5:39 AM
in reply to: #1319576

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!

Just popping in with an update.  I'm doing okay under the circumstances.  My son is in the hospital, husband still deployed and my med's are all screwed up.  I came off of a bunch last month but with my ADHD I couldn't remember the taper schedule.  So I stopped cold turkey and that was a nightmare.  I started a new med and it has taken awhile to kick in but I am feeling not so low.  I am sleeping a little better too. 

Now I just have to make it 5-6 more weeks and my husband should be home and hopefully that will not add but remove some stress. 

Is it spring yet?

2013-01-07 8:37 AM
in reply to: #4561738

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!
blueyedbikergirl - 2013-01-04 10:20 AM
TeddieMao - 2013-01-03 4:26 PM

Damn Canadians!  There is a Meetup Group in Chicago called the Chicago Expat Canadian Meetup Group.  Sounds like a biker gang but could be cool.  I'll sneak you in to my gym but it is nothing much.  You can always get a free pass to Equinox (Monroe & Franklin).  Boredom sucks!!!  Sorry again!  But just think the sun will come out in Chicago in about 4 months!!!

Thanks for the tip - as a previous biker, I can guarantee you that no biker gang would have such a long name.  It would never fit on the jackets! 

No need to sneak me into a gym - the Xsport on State/9th(ish) is where I've got an "in" - the hard part right now really is just having the motivation to actually get out the front door.  Most days I just don't see the point.  

Boredom does indeed suck!!! 

I've always found that routine can be a good friend. Even though you don't have a certain place to be at a certain time, it's good to keep a schedule. It helps one to feel more "normal".

I'd have some things that you do like clockwork. ei: going to the gym/grocery.

I always find I feel better when I have a project going. Some ideas that come to mind. : a blog about immigrating to the US and photos/discussion of Chicago. Adventure photography shoots.. add that to your blog. Pick a subject and study it,, then write about it. or learn about writing if that is weak area.. (it is for me). There might be some inexpensive hobbies.. and meetup groups connected to them.

Also wondering if you can visit some senior centers. Just find out when they have meetings and show up.

Also.. support groups.. If you are feeling blue, maybe you can go to a support group and find someone to reach out to.

You may or may not be religious but sometimes there are really hip church groups with friendly people .. or meditation groups..

You can go on a spiritual journey? I did that when i was 24. I took 2 years and worked part time. I just explored spirituality. It was very cool. 

Wishing you a lovely week.. and lot's of sunshine. Hugs!

2013-01-09 1:29 PM
in reply to: #1319576

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!
Anyone else get hormonal lot depressed? I'm pre menopausal and I take a herbal supplement Maca powder which is a godsend - I know all about it when I miss a day! However a couple of days a month I'm sooooo down - it's irrational and illogical but I just wake up devastated and tears are never far away! Seems to be more prevalent when I train hard so I'm thinking its also nutrition based. I've seen the doc a few times and he has prescribed a contraceptive pill I'm now on my fourth brand because the first three I couldn't get out of bed for crying! Just wanted to know if anyone else goes through this emotional roller coaster!!!
2013-04-20 6:56 PM
in reply to: #1319576

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Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!

So happy I found this thread. I have been reading through it from the beginning for a couple weeks now.

Back in 2010, I started doing triathlons. I loved it and by the summer of 2011 I had done several tri's as well as a HM and century ride. Then I just stopped. And had no desire to start again. I thought maybe it was burn-out and I should take some time off. But weeks turned in months and now it's been about a year and a half.

I've been trying to get back into training, but it's just seemed like an uphill battle. I let other things take priority and have a hard time advocating for my needs sometimes. Things that used to be easy have become overwhelming. There have been many days where I just focus on getting through the day and not crying or snapping at my husband or kids.

I've been trying to pull myself out of it on my own for over a year. I know my life is good. My family is healthy, we have what we need. Events like Sandy Hook and the tragedy in Boston make me feel awful for complaining. And for the most part, I don't. I just hold it inside.

But I'm sick of feeling so stressed out and overwhlemed when nothing is really wrong. I have a history of depression and anxiety in my family, so I finally made an appointment to go to my doctor (which I have been thinking about doing for months). He put me on some meds for depression and anxiety (Celexa) so we will see how it goes. We may have to play around with it before we find what gets me back to "normal".

I'm feeling positive about it. The other day a coworker was being ridiculous and I was able to just ignore it and not care (truly-not faking it. normally these things eat away at me). Also (and this is the best) 2 days ago I threw a baseball to my 5 year old for like 45 mins and enjoyed playing with him. Normally, I would find excuses not to or force myself to do it and feel exhausted the whole time. So hopefully there will be more of this to come.

Glad I have this htread to read.



Edited by jpbis26 2013-04-20 6:58 PM
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