Run starts and finishes (for swimming, in any kind of race) annoy me. How would runners feel if they had to swim a length before starting the race and to finish it? Sheesh. The gun goes off and Jeannie and I waddle in the wake of all the people blasting into the water.

The water is COLD, and I'm COLD, and it's raining COLD, and I'm realizing that I'm completely insane.

Oh well.

Trip to the first buoy/boat (700m) is uneventful. To my delight, a volunteer throws me a water bottle and I suck it down greedily ... then yawn and paddle along to the second buoy (900m).

So far, I don't feel too crappy. And Jeannie is providing a wonderful pink beacon for me. We stop and sip and chat at each buoyboat. May I add that each buoyboat has at least two VERY FINE PIGLETS on it who seem concerned about how our race is going. Sweeeet!!!

Turnaround back to the first buoy, which will mark 2500m and the halfway point. As I'm making this trip, I realize: I'm BORED, and I'm HUNGRY. When I arrive and a piglet asks me again how it's going, I tell him so. He laughs and says, "Well, what if a shark appeared?" I am thinking that right about now, I'm kind of missing my sharks and banded sea snakes and usual open-swim wildlife.

So back to the second buoy again ... bored ... hungry ... bored ... hungry ... I start singing the Moose Song (do you not know the power of the moose?! JEN!!!!) to entertain myself.

1. There was a moose
Who liked to drink a lot of juice
There was a moose
Who liked to drink a lot of juice

Chorus. Singin' way-oh-oh-oh
Way oh way oh way oh way oh
Way-oh Way-oh
Way oh way oh way oh way oh.

2. The moose's name was Fred
He liked to drink his juice in bed
The moose's name was Fred
He liked to drink his juice in bed.

Repeat 1. and Chorus

3. He was a sticky Moose
He liked to drink a lot of juice
He was a sticky Moose
He liked to drink a lot of juice

Repeat 1. and Chorus

By the time I get back to the second buoy, there is some SERIOUS CURRENT happening. I have to tread water pretty hard just to drink my water at the boat. On the way back to the first buoy again, I'm sighting way left of the boat in order to keep going in a straight line. This race is getting mighty hard. My arms are tired. I'm tired. And I'm still REALLY BORED AND REALLY HUNGRY!!! (Note to self: pop a gel packet in melons next time. Buoyancy, and storage. Hello?!).

By the time I get to the last turn, I don't stop. I just want this swim to be OVER. And there are only 700m left and I haven't died yet, so I figure I may as well book it.

I sight for shore and realize I have no idea where to aim for. I can't see that far. But then I see the loveliest sight in the world ... PIGLET PACE BOOTY! There is a lifeguard, kneel-paddling on a surfboard, driving the way home. Aim for the azz, I say!!!

So I REALLY start pumping. Good thing, too, because guess what ... NOW the tide is moving out, fast. I pump and pump and pump and ... what the hell? How come I'm not any closer to shore?!?!

A lifeguard on a board comes up on my right and quietly says, "Harder."

Oh, Lord.

But I've gotten this far, I'm not any less bored or hungry, I'm certainly a lot more tired and in pain by now, so what's a little more? The faster to get to shore, and FOOD! I am dreaming of food ... and piglets ... this is my entire focus now ...

So I put my head down and really start driving. Every time I breathe to the right (which is most of the time, because of the strained right trap, it hurts to breathe to the left), that gorgeous lifeguard piglet flashes me a huge smile, an "AYO!" (let's go!), nods and thumbs up. I love that guy!!!

I quit looking up to sight. It's too disheartening. I figure my right-hand piglet will let me know if I drift out to Australia or something.

After an eternity, I feel a push from behind--oh look, a wave! I look back for the next one, but it'll be a bit. So I groan and keep swimming ... and then ... hey now, that's my hand on the bottom!!! Yay! I stand up and ... oh crap, look how far I've got to RUN now. I plop-waddle a few disheartened steps, and then ... wtf? I'm a triathlete! We RUN out of the water, that's what we do! So I pick my feet up and start booking it. The athletes and volunteers on shore start going wild. YES!!! I plough on, straight through the finish line, and ... keep on going!

What, I'm THIS CLOSE to food and you think I'm gonna stop now? No way. There's still some Toblerone waiting for me in my transition bag.


I highly recommend things like training, preparation, gear, and if not being healthy, then at least not being on the tail end of sick or the current end of injured in a key part you need to use for the race.

Stuffing the rest of the Toblerone in my face.

The swim was staged out of a beautiful beachfront resort; we had a large, lovely pavilion with lots of comfy chairs and tables all to ourselves. Also, there was THE BESTEST COOLEST POOL in which I immediately prostrated my now very-warm self. Oh, and it had stopped raining and the sun had come out, so yeah, now I was hot. And this sweet shower! Luxe bathrooms. It was just Class A all-around.


Good grief. :) Other than ... everything? Gross stupidity?


The race organizers walked around and served us lunchboxes--athletes got two! Indonesian food, and Western food! Lloyd and I picked out of each other's boxes, which were all slightly different ... I gave him banana, he gave me cookie.

Rodney came 'round and told me I'd won third in the women's! I was soooo excited, I had the energy to steal the last of Lloyd's cookies when he wasn't looking.

The medals ceremony was so lovely. Bob Windle, a race organizer and OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALLIST in the 1500 free, gave us our certificates and medals. I was so happy! I think this picture is so cute because you can't see either of our faces--maybe we're kissing back there or something ;).



Here's the men's and women's winning lineup. I'm so proud!!! Do you know how long it's been since I got a swimming medal? Like almost 20 years! (It's also been 21 years since I swam 5000m continuously).



Check out Amy on the far left--this girl swims DISTANCE OPEN WATER at a pace of 1:12/100 METERS. I don't care who you are ... that's FAST!!! (She was actually third overall). I wanna be her when I grow up, although that would necessitate actually swimming again, which I never intend to do.

And isn't this the prettiest medal ever?



Anyhow ... this is a phenomenal race. Super well executed (a practical impossibility in Bali) and the perfect blend of high-end and laid-back. I'll be a bit sad to see this race explode in popularity, which it no doubt will, and sigh, of course I'll help ... I just won't ever participate in it, no sir, ever again. (Unless I get a better idea hours before race start).

Finally, and most importantly, this race is a benefit for the Bali Sports Foundation's "Bali Swim4Kids Program," which teaches Indonesian children how to swim--something we take utterly for granted in the West, but most Indonesian children do not know how to swim, and drownings are very common. The program also includes many disabled children, whose mobility benefits greatly from the swim exercise. A bunch of them showed up to watch us swim! I think I would be prouder to watch them swim.