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2010-07-21 7:22 PM

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Subject: Leaving my Job when the Boss's Mum has Terminal Cancer?
I've been at my current job for about 7 months now. This is my first job since completing my university studies.

The job wasn't what I expected and I've been unhappy with it for some time.

However...

I've now just found out the my boss's mum (who also works for the company) has terminal cancer and really not that long to live. She's known for a while but now it's got really bad.

If she is unable to work or dies as a result of the cancer, I'll take over some of her work which she did at her job. It's a small company and the main reason I want to leave is because their isn't enough work here. But if the boss's mum is unable to work, there will be a bit more for me hopefully.

I've been looking for new jobs for about 1-2 months and have some interviews coming up next week.
But now I feel really really bad for leaving when the boss is going through enough with her mum potentially dying from cancer and I'm not sure if I want to leave her with the added stress of an employee leaving.

I want to leave desperately and have done for a while but this has really thrown a curveball into the whole situation. The boss doesn't know I've been applying for jobs. She has been out of the coutry with her mum and son on holiday for the past 2 months whilst I've been looking for new jobs.

Help please?!?!


Edited by Elliot Power 2010-07-21 7:23 PM


2010-07-21 8:16 PM
in reply to: #2996048

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Subject: RE: Leaving my Job when the Boss's Mum has Terminal Cancer?
There's no right answer. At my last job, if that had happened, I would have left regardless and not felt badly about it. At another job, where I was closer to my boss, I would have stayed just make sure she wasn't overburdened.

I would never tell you to pass on a great opportunity for the sake of staying at a job you don't like out of some personal feeling of obligation to your boss. If you got another job and said, "I know this is horrible timing, but I've been looking for a new opportunity for a while now and I can't pass this up.." I'm sure she would understand, no matter how difficult it is for her. I would try to do as much as you could to give as much notice as possible, train your replacement, make yourself available to her by phone if she has questions after you leave, etc.
2010-07-21 8:28 PM
in reply to: #2996048

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Subject: RE: Leaving my Job when the Boss's Mum has Terminal Cancer?
Make sure your reasons for leaving are solid. A couple of job switches may look bad on the resume. Also make sure you KNOW what you are getting into with the new job. If that doesn't work out, you'll have 2 jumps in 2 years. HR departments (I'm in one) and hiring managers get nervous when they see that. Might prevent you from getting an interview.

Elliot Power - 2010-07-21 8:22 PM

I've been at my current job for about 7 months now. This is my first job since completing my university studies.

The job wasn't what I expected and I've been unhappy with it for some time.

However...

I've now just found out the my boss's mum (who also works for the company) has terminal cancer and really not that long to live. She's known for a while but now it's got really bad.

If she is unable to work or dies as a result of the cancer, I'll take over some of her work which she did at her job. It's a small company and the main reason I want to leave is because their isn't enough work here. But if the boss's mum is unable to work, there will be a bit more for me hopefully.

I've been looking for new jobs for about 1-2 months and have some interviews coming up next week.
But now I feel really really bad for leaving when the boss is going through enough with her mum potentially dying from cancer and I'm not sure if I want to leave her with the added stress of an employee leaving.

I want to leave desperately and have done for a while but this has really thrown a curveball into the whole situation. The boss doesn't know I've been applying for jobs. She has been out of the coutry with her mum and son on holiday for the past 2 months whilst I've been looking for new jobs.

Help please?!?!
2010-07-21 8:40 PM
in reply to: #2996048

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Subject: RE: Leaving my Job when the Boss's Mum has Terminal Cancer?
having only been in position for a few months and quit may create suspicion to future employers.  
If you boss's mom's illness is going to change your current job dynamics, why not stay for a little longer?  You might find more satisfaction with the redistribution of responsibility.  
If by the end of the year you're still unhappy, then move on to another job.   
2010-07-22 4:27 AM
in reply to: #2996172

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2010-07-22 6:41 AM
in reply to: #2996048

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Subject: RE: Leaving my Job when the Boss's Mum has Terminal Cancer?

If you handle this well, you can remain friendly with them whilst terminating your work relationship.

When you find a new job, tell them that you are willing to stay on as long as they need you during this difficult time.



2010-07-22 6:48 AM
in reply to: #2996612

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Subject: RE: Leaving my Job when the Boss's Mum has Terminal Cancer?
pga_mike - 2010-07-22 7:41 AM

If you handle this well, you can remain friendly with them whilst terminating your work relationship.

When you find a new job, tell them that you are willing to stay on as long as they need you during this difficult time.


In a situation like that, t
hat new job may not wait and instead hire another person.  ?
Few years ago I interviewed, they wanted to hire me.  They wanted me to start working in 2 weeks.  Standard practice is 2 weeks' notification to current employer.  However, there was something I was responsible for and I just cannot drop everything and go.  I asked for 4 weeks.  New job didn't like that.  ?

2010-07-22 3:27 PM
in reply to: #2996048

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Subject: RE: Leaving my Job when the Boss's Mum has Terminal Cancer?
Why not discuss your work load with your boss?  Most problems can be solved by open communication.  You said the job wasn't what you thought it was, why not tell your boss that?  Maybe there is another way to utilize your skills.  Ask for more responsibilities or deeper involvement with the company.  Most bosses like and reward employees who take a vested interest in the well-being of the company.

I might stick around to see what changes.  If the right opportunity comes up though, then I wouldn't think twice about taking it.  I wouldn't take a job just because you want out of this one, though.  If you really just don't like it there, then I see no reason to stick around just because her mom is going to die.  I am sympathetic to the loss she is going to experience but I am having trouble connecting how your staying is going to alleviate any of that.

2010-07-22 5:05 PM
in reply to: #2996048

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Subject: RE: Leaving my Job when the Boss's Mum has Terminal Cancer?
The question I would have is are you unhappy with the job itself, the work you are doing, or the amount of work? If you are unhappy with the job itself it probably has something to do with the dynamics there, personalities, environment etc and that probably will not change after your bosses Mum passes/quits. If it is the work you don't like then getting another job in the same or similar field will not make you suddenly happy - you will just be unhappy in a new location. If it is the amount of work then you just need to talk to your boss, tell them you are looking for a challge, take on more work, see if they have any projects you can help on etc. take initiative to become more active in your workplace and it might surprise you.

Really though unless you know EXACTLY why you are leaving, jumping to another job may not solve the problem.
2010-07-22 8:33 PM
in reply to: #2996048

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Subject: RE: Leaving my Job when the Boss's Mum has Terminal Cancer?
If one of the new jobs is something that is an absolute fit for you and it'd be a long while before something similar came up, then I think you have a to take it. Sure 7 months in a job isn't that long of a time, but when the fit is there, you have to take it. 

Case in point - I was in my previous job for 6 months - HATED IT, but knew that in another 12 months we'd be moving. Well, a job came up that was the perfect fit for me, I applied, explained that I could only give them a year and got the job. I love going to work now, it's a great fit, and even Mondays don't suck anymore.

So even if it is crappy timing for your boss, if its a move you have to make to keep yourself sane and do something that you'd really truly enjoy, then I think you have to do it. Just be nice on the way out.  
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