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2010-12-27 6:41 AM

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Subject: having children and triathlons
My wife is not yet pregnant, but over this past weekend, with our Christmas family get-togethers, just a few of them tried to tell me, except for one, an athlete himself, that once we have kids, it's all over (regarding triathlons, being healthy, etc). Are they being a$$holes, or are they being serious? I understand children will take priority, but does that mean we stop all form of exercise? I'm sorry, but I don't think so. I'm not like the average adult, that uses things for an excuse to not have to exercise. Sorry for the rant during this time of year... I do love my family a lot, I just think it's strange that people tell me these things, almost like they WANT me to gain weight (which most of my family is a healthy weight!!). I'm sure I won't be training for Ironmans during the first 1 or 2 years which is fine, but that doesn't mean I have to come to a dead stop right? I think my mood would be a little negative if that happened, and she'll *want* me to leave the house. People can be rude sometimes.


2010-12-27 6:52 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
Their pulling your chain. It's not as easy to train with kids, but you work it out. I have two who are very involved (during the fall our average weekend consisted of anywhere from 4-7 soccer games and one volleyball game. I go to 98% of their games (not missing to train). You may have to get up super early or do a workout mid-day but you get it in.
2010-12-27 6:53 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons

My wife and I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old and we both do tri's, run, and train.   Just will have to learn how to prioritize and do some time management once you have kids.    

In our case I now train M-W-F at 4:00 am prior to work and she trains T-Th at 4am.  Those days that the person is not training he/she is at home getting the kids ready for school.   On the weekends she gets Saturday morning as her long training day while I take the kids to the gym with me, and on Sunday I get my long training day while she takes the kids to the gym. 

You will be fine. 



Edited by JKLipsky 2010-12-27 6:54 AM
2010-12-27 7:06 AM
in reply to: #3262471

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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons

It is not over!

I have completed 2 IM's and am training for a third with 2 sons under 7 yrs old.  In 2009, my and I both completed IMWI together and our youngest was 2.  It can be done - it just takes time management and an effective training plan.  Hello early mornings!

 

You can do it, especially Olys and Sprints.  I think when they get older it will be harder due to their schedules becoming busier.

2010-12-27 7:09 AM
in reply to: #3262471

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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
I have a 5 year old, 4 year old, 2 year old, and 10 month old, and I'm doing it!  I think you have to work with your partner and share the responsibilities.  My husband is 100% supportive of my training, and he's willing to do some extra work on his own in order for me to accomplish my goals.  Sometimes I have to get up earlier than I would want to get up, and sometimes I have to work out after my children have gone to bed.  We both eat healthfully, and we're both thin. 

I think it's important for children to see their parents doing things for themselves.  I want them to be active, fit, and healthy, so I am showing them how they can do that.  My oldest 2 are doing the kid dash the weekend of my half marathon.  My daughter said she is going to run faster than me.  Haha! 

You can do it.  You just need a plan & a partner. 
2010-12-27 7:11 AM
in reply to: #3262471

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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
I have two kids (age 2 & 4). I train 6 days a week. No problem. People don't really understand that training is part of who you are, not just something you do. I have heard some negative messages like that my whole life. Started with: wait until you go to college, you'll gain the freshman 15. Next: when you start working or have kids you won't have time for exercise. Annoying. And how come it's o.k. for people to tell you why you'll quit but not so acceptable for you to tell them why they should start!

Just stick with it and don't worry about what everyone else says. If it's important to you then you'll make time for it. The hardest time I had finding time for exercise was when my son was a baby and I had to go back to work (I'm a stay at home now). For Christmas that year I got a treadmill. I have a husband who understands I ran on the treadmill while baby was sleeping, my husband helped watch him so I could swim, or I pushed him in the stroller while I ran. No worries, just had to wake up a little earlier.


2010-12-27 7:12 AM
in reply to: #3262485

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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons

i did not start tris until i had kids.  However, having kids sucks away virtually all of your free time, so you have to decide what is really important, since being the best parent you can be is your first priority.  You will be amazed at how efficient with your time you can become.  You may not be able to train as much as you want to, you may have to constantly juggle your schedule (particualrly if you also have a busy job, as I do), but you can do it.  Just be realistic.  If you only have 8-10 hours to train each week, you aren't going pro.  however, you can have fun and improve and stay fit.

2010-12-27 7:13 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
As you indicated, the first two years are the most difficult but you can still fit it in.  You just might need to get creative in the scheduling with your wife that first yr. 

Once they hit 1yo, getting some gear (jogging stroller, infant bike seat or trailer) will help a lot. 
2010-12-27 7:14 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
Its definitely not over.  Actually the first year will be the hardest depending upon if your child sleeps well or not.  Neither of my children did and was a bit sleep deprived the first six months.  Just work out a plan with your wife and you will be fine.  BTW, tri's are great but nothing compared to being a Dad.
2010-12-27 7:19 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
It's definitely harder to get the workouts in, but it can be done.  I thought it might get easier as my girls got older, but in our case, they are even busier.  My girls are 15 and nearing 12.  They each are involved in lots of outside activities that require us to transport/pick-up and participate in.  My husband and I have done 2 marathons, and several halfs.  I know that for me, an olympic is about the most I can train for as far as tris go.  My oldest will start driving in about a year, so that might free up a bit more time.  When they were smaller I used a gym that had daycare, and now that they are older, I can leave them on their own a bit longer while I get in a run or a ride.  The main thing for us is that they have to be so many places daily that I might only get x amount of time to work-out before they need to be transported to another activity.

jami
2010-12-27 7:42 AM
in reply to: #3262478

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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
goobergirl98 - 2010-12-27 7:52 AM Their pulling your chain. It's not as easy to train with kids, but you work it out. I have two who are very involved (during the fall our average weekend consisted of anywhere from 4-7 soccer games and one volleyball game. I go to 98% of their games (not missing to train). You may have to get up super early or do a workout mid-day but you get it in.



x2....it definately is more of a time challenge and may have to be more flexible where and when you train , but it is doable without a doubt...you training schedule may have to be more in pencil instead of pen....but I believe most age groupers over 30 have families...they are probably making excuses for themselves, because they are jealous of your commitment.....so train hard just do not go nuts if you need to adjust traing schedule frequently!!!


2010-12-27 8:34 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
I've got a 4 year old and a 2 year old, a job, I'm in school full time, and my husband works nights.  And the kids don't go to daycare.  And I STILL find the time to train.   I could ramble on about this topic all day long (and have before, lol) but at the end of the day, if there is a will, there is a way.  Sure my laundry is almost never caught up, and a lot of my training is done with a jog stroller, or on the treadmill or bike trainer, but darn it I'm happy and healthy, and my kids are learning first hand about committing to and following your dreams.

So, thhhbbbbbbb Tongue out to those trying to burst your bubble (though, disclaimer, don't expect anything less than feeling like a walking zombie the first few weeks of parenthood, haha.  After that , it's totally doable!)
2010-12-27 8:35 AM
in reply to: #3262471

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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons

There are a lot of factors involved.  First of all, congratulations on your first kid.  Hopefully he or she will be a healthy baby - for the obvious reasons, but also because having a kid who has special needs will in fact require more time from a parent.  Also if you and your wife are trying to be ironmen at the same time, obviously someone's training will end up suffering.

In some ways, a younger child is easier to work into a workout schedule than an older one.  I started tri'ing when our second was born, and we were both in residency (i.e. 50-60 hour work weeks were the norm).  It was easier to throw the kids in a bike trailer and ride them around on my racing bike for a couple of hours in the nice weather, than when they were 9 and 12 and needed to go to different activities in different places.  A trainer and a treadmill will be good investments, since you can train any time and be able to stop and deal with a child that wakes from a nap, and also train in bad weather.

Also keep in mind as your child gets older, you may want to accomodate to your child's interests.  If they like sports, great.  But if they do not, or prefer sports that you don't, or that are harder for you to participate in (e.g. you can't really run around the field if your child is in an indoor league of some kind), you may well find that your training becomes secondary.  Not gone, but it will be harder to get in >2 hour training days when you have to work, take the kid to music/art/dance/drama classes, feed them a healthy meal (generally this will mean someone is cooking at home), reviewing homework, and the bedtime routines, and having enough sleep yourself.

2010-12-27 8:59 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
For some reason that I don't understand, people who have had experiences that you are yet to have like to lord it over you, even if just in a joking way, and when they do so, it is almost always in exaggerated fashion.  Weird, but it seems to be a pretty widespread phenomenon.  I've probably been guilty of it at some point, so I'm not excluding myself from the weirdness.

It is not over.  Keep your priorities straight, but don't lose track of the importance of fitness either, and you'll work it out.
2010-12-27 9:01 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
I am a new first time father (son born 4 months ago today) and I can say its definately not over. You just have to readjust your schedule and expectations. I would like to do a IM or HIM but honestly right now I am happy doing what I can and spending as much timemwith my son as possible after work. I love to run so ive switched mindset for now to running my first marathon. I can train 5 days a week once a day in the morning, go to work, then spend time with him when I get home, when he gets a little older I'll start going after my IM goal. No need to rush it. The gaining weight part? I did. About 10 pounds. Honestly your so tired sometimes from work,travel, and an infant ordering a pizza is just easier, but my wife and I made a pact to get back on track and we have.
All about management
2010-12-27 9:11 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
Great advice all around on here.  I didn't start tris until a few years back, completed a half this year, and we have 3 boys 14, 12, and 8.  The 8 year old is special needs as well (Down syndrome).  My kids are my biggest supporters and get a kick out of seeing their "old man" doing triathlons.  I train early AM, or while bringing my oldest to Jiu-Jitsu or my middle guy to soccer practice I'll get in a run while they train, or if we go to the beach or the lake I may get up early and ride there while they drive.  You get the idea - be creative and there's more time in the day than we think.

So can it be done?  Of course, there's tons of proof right in this thread.  But having support from your spouse is key, and being flexible is critical as well.  If you have to miss a session, so be it.  Your family is the priority.  Good luck getting pregnant and it's a ride you won't regret!


2010-12-27 9:13 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
Will you have as much time as you do now?  The answer is No.  Does training end? The answer is No.  Kids do take a lot of time out of your schedule but you will adjust.  I get up at 4:30 AM to do my runs and swims.  My long bike rides take the place of golf outings.  I gave up golf and hunting for my family but training is important to maintain an healthy body and longer life for my family.  My kids are old enough now that I work them into some of my training.  My daugher has rode her bike on my runs and I have taken both of children swimming with me.

You also will not have a bigger fan club at your Tri events then your children.  I still have the signs that my 10 year old daughter made my events.  No medal is greater than the smiles of your family when you cross the finish line.

2010-12-27 9:14 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
Very possible. My wife and I have two children, 2 and 4. I started training after we had our second. I will echo what a few have said already; there's a strong possibility you will be sleep deprived for a few weeks, but after that it starts getting easier. I found that I had a lot more free time than I thought I did before. I workout a lot in the early morning (usually around 5 for me) and when I need a long workout my wife understands and she watches the kids. I try and reciprocate that by taking them later so she can go shopping or have coffee with a friend or whatever she wants. I'm fortunate also that I can work out during lunch if necessary and I often do. When things get really busy I have a treadmill and a trainer, but I don't use them often.

Short version: they are pulling your chain. You can still train with kids. You just have to plan well in advance and see the whole picture.
2010-12-27 9:14 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
I too didn't start tris until I had children.  I have 2 daughters who absolutely love to come out to races, get pushed in the jogging stroller, etc.  My 3 year old even asked for a bike for Christmas because she wants to go riding with Daddy.  The trick to training is finding a balance.  My "balance" means I'm up at 4:20 on weekdays and I'm off.  My training time is while they're sleeping as to not take quality time away from them.  And my wife and I both give each other "me" time on the weekend too which I tend to spend on group rides.  Can it be done?  Yes, easily.  Does it require sacrifices and rearranging your schedule?  Yes.
2010-12-27 9:25 AM
in reply to: #3262654

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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
Makes me upset to hear people telling you this! No, no!   I have two kids 6,8 and took up triathlon after kids.  I ran 3 marathons before kids and 2 after and was definitely faster postkids Smile (granted the early years of my kids lives I wasn't doing as much) ...I have actually heard it theorized that women often are faster (runners at least) post kids because they are basically doing weight bearing exercise for 9 months. In other words, every time you get out of a chair or go up a flight of stairs with that big tummy your quads are getting an extra workout.  Cool, right? Look at Paula Radcliffe winning the new york city marathon with a less-than-one-year old baby. 



2010-12-27 9:31 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
i love seeing all the parents chime in here.  ya'll are awesome!!!   3 kiddos here (5, 3 & 1)  heck yeah it can be done and have a huge positive impact on the kiddos and family as a whole.

congrats kevin!  don't stress about those folks running their mouths telling you its all over.... especially those claiming being healthy is over.  


2010-12-27 9:43 AM
in reply to: #3262676

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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
Another affirmative here.  Two kids and I certainly find the time, it just requires careful scheduling and an understanding spouse.  I'm very familiar with my alarm clock going off anywhere between 4:15 and 5:00!

The people telling you "no" are the same ones who look for any reason to sit on their couches.  If they admit that it can be done than they have to confront the fact they're just lazy.
2010-12-27 9:47 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
Patrick E - 2010-12-27 9:43 AM Another affirmative here.  Two kids and I certainly find the time, it just requires careful scheduling and an understanding spouse.  I'm very familiar with my alarm clock going off anywhere between 4:15 and 5:00!

The people telling you "no" are the same ones who look for any reason to sit on their couches.  If they admit that it can be done than they have to confront the fact they're just lazy.


See bolded.  I get told all the time I am crazy for getting up at the time I do to train.  They're also the people who don't understand why they "can't" find the time to workout.
2010-12-27 10:02 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
I have 5 kids, started doing tris when youngest was 5. I don't think I could have fit IM training in before youngest was in full time school, but shorter tris I could have done.

When kids are younger being a parent is bit more time demanding.

It sounds like your relatives are jealous and are looking at ways to bring you down.

Listen to your athlete relative not the others who don't really get what you do and why.
2010-12-27 10:02 AM
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Subject: RE: having children and triathlons
Don't be afraid to live your life! My wife and I were married 15 years before we had kids and there was always pressure. Now that we have kids, there is a different kind of pressure to live like other people.

I am very happy as a dad. When I have to sacrifice my schedule, plans, training for my family, it isn't a big deal because I chose this as part of being a dad.

My life is pretty simple, my family, work, triathlon. I squeeze in time with friends and have some involvement in church but at this point things are pretty basic and very good.

With little girls (ages 2, 3) life is more simple because they don't have their "social calendar". I am training for my first 140.6 as they get older, I will just focus on different distances or intensity but triathlon will be a great part of my life and sanity.
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