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2010-12-30 11:40 PM

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Subject: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder

Hello Y'all.  This past summer I have lost over 50 pounds.  After loosing the weight I began to  pay a great deal of attention to my weight.  I weigh myself daily and get frustrated as crap when I gain.  Recently I have gained about 12 lbs back and its killin me.  I have been battling injuries and understand why I have gained some back; however, It drives me nuts because I can see and feel the weight gain in myself.  Because of my constant observence of my weight and frustrations that I express she now thinks I have an eating disorder.  Just to let yall no I am not starving myself nor am I on any crazy diet, I am just very vocal of my disgust with myself and lack of will power when it comes to food.  I still eat, and she still cooks like I am running 40-60 miles a week.  Does that  indicate that I have an eating or some other kind of disorder?



2010-12-31 10:01 AM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder
Hello. I am not an expert in this subject but I would say if you are running a constant 40-60 miles a week (which is pretty good) and you have gained 12 pounds. Maybe you are eating to much or just not eating the right things. Maybe starting in the next week or so you should count all of your calories and see what the daily average is and research what a man of your size age and weight should be eating each day. However if you do take a sacrifice and diet while running that much, your weight loss start to increase more and more. I haven't been through this seeing as how im only 15 and not overweight at all, but i did see my dad do it.

My dad lost about 20-35 lbs. in 1 month just from watching what he ate and walking 2-3 miles on the treadmill while lifting dumb bells. If it worked for him it could work for you.
2010-12-31 6:52 PM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder
Perhaps your wife is simply frustrated that you are so vocal about your weight, but haven't made any concrete effort to do something about stopping the slide. Trust me - it's easier to take it back off now than waiting until you are at 20+ up. Don't waste all your previous efforts. Make the decision today to do better.

It sounds like you know what you are doing wrong - fix it!
2010-12-31 9:35 PM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder

Hey. Firstly, massive congratulations on the weightloss; fantastic effort! Not sure if you had any assistance with the process of losing weight, but in many slimming programmes, they urge you not to weigh yourself daily. I'm not sure how mathematical your thinking is, but if you know what a Time Series graph looks like, you might be able to take heart from the fact that weight can behave similarly.

Explanation: A time series has local peaks and troughs, but what is looked for is the overall trend.  You may find that even in a period of weight loss, you have days when you're up some, or down further than you expected to me. Daily fluctuations occur and are not always as dire as we think.

Christmas helps noone when it comes to weight management. My advice to you would be to relax a little, focus on your training again, and plan your meals so that your body gets the nutrients it needs. Remember, successful weightloss seldom results from Don't regimes. Do eat lots of the right foods so that your body gets what it needs and stops telling you that you're hungry. You'll be back on track in no time, I'm sure.

Happy New Year.

 



Edited by mathsgeek 2010-12-31 9:39 PM
2011-01-03 11:14 AM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder
Thanks y'all. I agree that I have to just do what I have to do to loose it back. I am on them fight loosing some weight, just a lil slower then want and with less food then I want. I have a different view on my weight then she does. She thinks I look good, heck so do I. I just feel better and think I look even better 15 pounds lighter. I am frustrated with the fact that I cant pt like I want to, and them pounds are coming back. As for the scale graph thing I dont actually graph it, but do track it regularly. I know my ups and downs, and it has been gradually on the rise. I do like the idea of actually graphing it because it will show me them trends as it happens instead of sneaking up on me and noticing when its a bigger issue.
2011-01-03 8:44 PM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder

Are you binging and purging, or starving yourself ? AKA  bulemia or anorexia?  Now part of anorexia is a distorted body image but only you can answer that. If your BMI is normal and you see yourself as a big blimb...well then you have a distorted body image.  If your BMI is below normal then maybe you have a problem.   Its possible you have disordered eating or some not so healthy views about food.....but not enough info to really judge that.  If you are gaining weight I would say that most likely no you don'thave a full blown eating disorder.

If you lost 50# (congrats) you have figured out how to loose weight but its never easy.  I'd say stop telling your wife how frustrated you are.  Come here and vent away. Commit yourself to healthy eating and to a style of eating you can maintain so as not to fall off the wagon again.  i have come to the conclusion that there are very few people out there who are happy with their bodies.  Try not to beat yourself up so much.  Forgive yourself and move forward



2011-01-07 10:44 PM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder
cindi - 2010-12-31 6:52 PM Perhaps your wife is simply frustrated that you are so vocal about your weight, but haven't made any concrete effort to do something about stopping the slide. Trust me - it's easier to take it back off now than waiting until you are at 20+ up. Don't waste all your previous efforts. Make the decision today to do better. It sounds like you know what you are doing wrong - fix it!


X2, my Wife suggest that I am way to OCD about my weight as well.  I don't talk much about it anymore unless she ask.
2011-01-12 9:15 PM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder
I was always resistant to the idea that there were emotional issues behind my eating. Suffice it to say it has been much less of a struggle, much less frustration, and a much more healthy mindset about fitness, eating, and body composition since I started addressing some of those issues. If you are experiencing this level of frustration with yourself, it is worth looking at.

Try paying a visit to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting (it's not just overeating - people with all kinds of emotional/behavioral issues around food and body image are welcome and can benefit). OA is based on a 12 step methodology and can help you experience serious personal growth.

Your OP said "disgust with myself." I can relate to that feeling. I have been a lot happier and a lot less stressed about my weight (and made better progress with weight control) since I started getting over all the guilt/disgust/shame crap. It will definitely hold you back and impede your progress.

Can't hurt. It's free. No reason not to go.

Edited by alath 2011-01-12 9:23 PM
2011-01-13 9:02 AM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder
Just my thoughts...how does your wife feel about herself?  Is she frustrated that you have lost weight and maybe tired of hearing about it??  I would tell her that you are listening to her comments and suggestions and was wondering if she really thought you have an eating disorder and why.  That is a serious accusation because it's a life threatening disease.

I agree with what others have said...I don't weigh myself often because I know there can be slight changes and fluctuations.  IF you do weigh yourself every day you have to be aware of this.  While I applaud your diligence and I realize weight is something I will have to continue to struggle with....maybe it's time to take a step back and focus on being "healthy"???

My 2 pennies...
2011-01-24 6:33 AM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder
So, I've lost a bunch of weight myself. 

Whatever got me to 400+ pounds.  That was probably an eating disorder. 

Now I weigh myself, weigh my food and log it, and measure my calories in/out.  Some would probably consider that an eating disorder as well.  It probably is.  I know a few other people that have lost big weight and now do tris.  They have their own compulsions too, that might be classifiable as eating disorders. 

My point is, none of us get out of this in one piece.  I've never known anyone that has recovered from obesity and then never had to think about food.  If your eating wasn't "disordered" you wouldn't be fat to begin with, you'd be able to successfully self regulate.  You can't, so you change your behavior to fix the weight, but the cost of doing so is other food wonkiness.  Obesity is something you live with, not something you get over.

My opinion anyway...maybe there is a better way, but I don't know it.  Wish I did.
2011-01-24 4:48 PM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder
Great point Mike.  My wife gives me funny looks when I weigh myself every day.  I try to tell her, if I went back to not worrying about my weight, I would be back at the weight I was before I started all this or worse.  I am so happy with the progress I have made (212 to 158), that I ain't never going back!


2011-04-13 1:17 PM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder

I wanted to revive this thread because my wife has been saying the same about me!  I'm 27, 5 ft 8.5 in. and went from 182 at Thanksgiving to 157 today.  I did it by tracking calories (Tap and Track for iPhone rocks, btw!), working out, etc., and am really happy with what I've done (though I have 7 more to go).

The problem comes because I've stopped wanting to go to dinner with friends, started eating the same things day after day (what is in my calorie range and makes me full is an art to find, and I don't want to vary it), and get really angry with myself when I slip up (usually Wednesday afternoons in class, actually--the prof. brings donuts).

What can I do to not get upset when I have small setbacks?  To not treat my vacations like games of "what can't I eat while we're supposed to be having fun?"  To not expect continued shedding of weight like I've experienced thus far?

Thanks so much!

-Chris

2011-04-14 12:57 PM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder
Different things work for different folks.  After years of yo-yoing I stopped using the scale and went with calorie counting daily and cross training for triathlons.   I only weigh myself at the doctors office at my annual physical, and otherwise focus on things like exercise time in HR zones, calorie intake/nutritional balance, and calories out via exercise.   I don't focus on weight or miles.   At least for me it has worked and I skip the frustration I used to feel at random jumps in weight that daily weigh in's reflected.  I know for some they find comfort in the scale, and I take it to the extreme by weighing in once a year, so in the end you have to find what works for you.  For weightloss that is sustainable over time, and I mean over years, what I've learned for me is that slow and steady loss is the best.  Great job so far, and good luck!
2011-04-20 1:07 PM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder
Wow a post above nailed it... disordered eating is what makes us gain the weight.

We had to work to put on the pounds, we have to work harder to take them off.

I know that the only way to lose and KEEP OFF FOR GOOD the weight is to log,  monitor and REGULATE.

It ain't pretty or easy... but it is a neccessity.

2011-04-22 2:43 PM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder

JustMike - 2011-01-24 4:33 AM So, I've lost a bunch of weight myself. 

Whatever got me to 400+ pounds.  That was probably an eating disorder. 

Now I weigh myself, weigh my food and log it, and measure my calories in/out.  Some would probably consider that an eating disorder as well.  It probably is.  I know a few other people that have lost big weight and now do tris.  They have their own compulsions too, that might be classifiable as eating disorders. 

My point is, none of us get out of this in one piece.  I've never known anyone that has recovered from obesity and then never had to think about food.  If your eating wasn't "disordered" you wouldn't be fat to begin with, you'd be able to successfully self regulate.  You can't, so you change your behavior to fix the weight, but the cost of doing so is other food wonkiness.  Obesity is something you live with, not something you get over.

My opinion anyway...maybe there is a better way, but I don't know it.  Wish I did.

Great post.  Absolutely great post.  Couldn't agree more.

To the OP:  I'm in maintenance (3 years now with no regain to speak of along the way) and am dedicated (or obsessed, depending on perspective) to regular weigh-in and conscious eating.  My wife lost 60+ lbs herself and even works part time for WW, but still makes occasional cracks about me having an"eating disorder."

The real truth?  My wife, frankly, struggles more with boundaries around compulsive/comfort eating and is more likely to indulge and to regain weight and have to go "back on WW plan."  OP, I think there's some jealousy and/or outright sabotaging going on with your wife and you may have to open a dialogue about where EACH OF YOU is pushing the other's buttons.  Good luck.

2011-04-23 5:26 PM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder

JustMike - 2011-01-24 7:33 PM So, I've lost a bunch of weight myself. 

Whatever got me to 400+ pounds.  That was probably an eating disorder. 

Now I weigh myself, weigh my food and log it, and measure my calories in/out.  Some would probably consider that an eating disorder as well.  It probably is.  I know a few other people that have lost big weight and now do tris.  They have their own compulsions too, that might be classifiable as eating disorders. 

My point is, none of us get out of this in one piece.  I've never known anyone that has recovered from obesity and then never had to think about food.  If your eating wasn't "disordered" you wouldn't be fat to begin with, you'd be able to successfully self regulate.  You can't, so you change your behavior to fix the weight, but the cost of doing so is other food wonkiness.  Obesity is something you live with, not something you get over.

My opinion anyway...maybe there is a better way, but I don't know it.  Wish I did.

 

Interesting post, and definitely consistent with my experience.  While I've gone from clinical obesity, to a healthy, relatively lean weight for my height thanks to diet and exercise, the mental side is still there.  The physical side is the easy part - just calories in and out.  Taming the mental issues is the bigger challenge by far.

The binge eating I did when I was at/near my highest weight was clearly an eating disorder.  While my diet now is balanced, healthy, and generally very good compared to most people my age, I still have aspects of what one might call an eating(or body image) disorder.  I still have body image issues that aren't aligned with my actual physical state, and I definitely worry too much about small aspects of food/my diet - i.e. "how many calories are there in that" (insert inconsequential piece of food here), but I still have difficulty refusing food when others put it front of me.

I think obesity usually needs be treated as a psychological condition as much as a physical one, based on my own experience.



2011-04-26 9:09 AM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder
jsflyer - 2011-04-23 5:26 PM

I think obesity usually needs be treated as a psychological condition as much as a physical one, based on my own experience.

Maybe even more psychological. 

This winter I increased my FTP by about 40 Watts, I got a point of VDOT, and I run about 1 Minute / Mile faster at my half marathon pace than I did the year before.  I should be celebrating the huge successes I've had.

Instead, I'm stuck on how my weight has increased by 4 pounds (mostly muscle gains).  I'm hung up on the extra skin, and whether or not I should have surgery to deal with it.  The weight is never far behind me,  three years later that fat guy I was is still right behind me... 

2011-04-26 10:31 AM
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Subject: RE: Wife thinks I have an eating disorder

I've learned to say less about my weight and eating with "normal folk" as I know I should compulsive.  I wouldn't be too hard you yourself for the gain, though.  I don't know how thin you were with a 50# loss. If you were quite lean, then you cannot expect to maintain that weight all the time.  Slim down for a big race, then except that fact that you'll put on 5 or 6 after that.

As far as the portions..here is what I do. It really helps my SO as he tends to overeat at meal time more than I do.  I fix it, dish up a reasonable serving and put the rest in storage containers right away. It helps us both as we won't go back for 2nds that way. I usually leave the veggies out. I figure he can eat as many of those as he wants if it will make him feel more satisifed.

 

 

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