Tips for motivating my daughter again?

Relay -- good idea.

Thanks.

I agree with the other sentiments expressed here. You are setting an example of what a healthy lifestyle and attitude looks like; that's her norm. You can't make her want more than what she wants.

I was wondering why you wrote that swim team was too intense for your daughter. I was on a competitive swim team from the age of 7 (my younger sister, 6). Why don't you think your daughter can handle swim team? It jumps out to me as something she could do for HER reasons.

I think a relay is a great idea - We have 5 kids and have done relays where I swim, husband bikes and one of the teenage boys runs, they had a great time!

Our oldest daughter (8) is on swim team and will be doing her first kids tri 50/1/.25 in a few weeks.

I can totally see how swim team is NOT for some kids though I think it might be worth checking out for your daughter. Our swim team meets 4 times a week (that is a lot) and there is a LOT of smack talk and intimidation going on. Thankfully my daughter does well (this is her first season) but she has had an issue with an older boy (nothing bringing the 6'2" 18 year old brother to practice didn't solve). Our coach also does quite a bit of yelling which I am not personally a fan of. However, it is not directed toward my daughter and when I asked her about it she just said he's trying to get the boys attention (8-12yo). My point is that swim team can be very intense and intimidating but you could take her to a practice and see what she thinks.

Another option would be a local 5K, maybe she could even challenge some of her friends to do it with her. We have a 5K my sons and husband always do together.

Best tip so far

Patience. My 17 year old daughter and I ran 6 miles together last night. Not too long ago she might go a mile before she started griping about how hard it was and how it wasnt any fun. She now loves it and often asks "when will we run again?". She hasn't expressed any interest in tris yet, doesnt really matter to me, but she may suprise me some day.

Thanks for the helpful replies.  Last night we had a very nice 1-mile run at dusk through a cemetery to make things interesting  .  When we finished she asked when we could do it again.  Seems the big thing is consistency (on my part) to get her out on a regular basis.

Some asked why I thought swim teams were too "intense".   It's not an ability issue (I know she can handle it, she's been invited to join one), it's a scheduling issue (lots of other competing activities).

It looks like the big factor is getting a consistent routine going in between the other competing activities: I guess I'll concentrate on that and not worry about races for a while.

I've got a 13 year old son who I would love to turn into the next Fabian or Phelps,  long arms and legs, huge flipper feet.  Hates to run, bike or swim but will play soccer and basketball till he pukes.  I've just got to realize that SBR ain't his thing.  I figure as long as he's active and sees me being active a healthy lifestyle will come naturally.  I can't give him desire only an example. 

Your daughter will come back around, Just give her time.   Sounds like she already has the base for a healthy lifestyle, just let her have fun.  

I have 5 kids 12-soon to be 22. Our middle child started doing tris back about 5 years ago when she was 11. She bought a road bike, did 4-5 tris a year then lost interest.  She did some, short adult tris, kid tris and a kid duathlon that she won overall girl. She has done a relay with me she swam and ran and I biked. We do a tri on vacation with my extended family and any kids want to do it are encouraged as their cousins and uncle does it as well.

She started going to CrossFit with me and my husband about 1.5 years ago. I've stopped going but she continues to go with my husband. She started when she just turned 15. Folks at the CF gym thought she was 21 or older. She likes being treated as a peer and having alone time doing something she enjoys with her Dad. She comes running with me few times a month, we bike together. When we run we have the best conversations and she really opens up.

Our other kids do things with us but not as regularly. I think it is her way of spending time with us parents.

I did ask her why she lost interest in tris a year or two ago. She told me it was something I had said to her something along the lines is she was to intense. When she shared that with me, it made me feel awful.

I try now to ask any of my kids if they want to do xxx with me. Sometimes they say yes, sometimes no, but they know the opportunity is there. If they only want to run 10' I'll run with them and double back home, drop them off and continue with my run. Our youngest often comes swimming with me on the weekends and she'll ride along when I run once in awhile. Reality is I do this for fun and being a good example and living a healthy lifestyle with my kids is key for me.

I agree with other thoughts, no pressure, let her lead what she wants to do, invite her to come along, or ask her if she'd like to do xxx, or maybe as you drive places you can ask do you think it would be fun to run there.

Our one child that hasn't done a tri yet, sort of dug his heels in not doing what everyone else is doing, is signed up to do Tough Mudder on his 22nd birthday/Mother's Day next month. He wants us all to come up and cheer him on.