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2005-08-22 11:20 AM

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Queen BTich
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Subject: Jokes: things that sound dirty but aren't

I'm going to start thinking of "things that sound dirty in triathlon, but aren't"...anyone else?

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN GOLF AREN'T:

10. Damn, my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in golf isn't:  

1. Hold up! I need to wash my balls first

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN THE OFFICE AREN'T:
10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!!
5. HMMMMM, I think it's out of fluid!
4 My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry level position.

2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but at the office isn't:
1. It's not fair. I do all the work while he just sits there!!!

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN A LAW FIRM AREN'T:

10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge.
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in law firm isn't:
1. Think you can get me off?



2005-08-22 11:35 AM
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Subject: RE: Jokes: things that sound dirty but aren't

Those are great.  Thanks for the monday funnies.

2005-08-22 1:43 PM
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Subject: RE: Jokes: things that sound dirty but aren't

TRIATHLON THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY BUT AREN'T

1) I pushed too hard early on and didn't have anything left for the finish.

2) I'm not comfortable staying in the aero position for very long.

3) Do you do it with socks on?

4) The girl doing the body marking was hot. (okay maybe that is kinda dirty)

2005-08-22 1:52 PM
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Queen BTich
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Subject: RE: Jokes: things that sound dirty but aren't

Were you talking about me

Triathlon:

1. Were you successful (said before the start of the swim) this morning?

2. I was so hot on the run. 

3. There were so many hot guys at the race.

4. Which rack is yours?

5. Mine is racked really close to yours! (haley and janelle this weekend)
 

2005-08-22 1:52 PM
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Queen BTich
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Subject: RE: Jokes: things that sound dirty but aren't

oops



Edited by TriComet 2005-08-22 1:52 PM
2005-08-22 1:53 PM
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Subject: RE: Jokes: things that sound dirty but aren't
TriComet - 2005-08-22 2:52 PM

Were you talking about me

Triathlon:

1. Were you successful (said before the start of the swim) this morning?

2. I was so hot on the run. 

3. There were so many hot guys at the race.

4. Which rack is yours?

5. Mine is racked really close to yours! (haley and janelle this weekend)
 

Please explain how #3 is intended in any way other than to be dirty.



2005-08-22 1:59 PM
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Subject: RE: Jokes: things that sound dirty but aren't

1. BodyGlide.
2. "Just slather vaseline all over it."
3. Mount Line
4. Dismount Line
5. Yankz

2005-08-22 2:00 PM
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Queen BTich
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Subject: RE: Jokes: things that sound dirty but aren't
3558 - 2005-08-22 2:53 PM
TriComet - 2005-08-22 2:52 PM

Please explain how #3 is intended in any way other than to be dirty.

Umm...the weather was really hot. The guys were sweating. They had sweat all over, running down their bodies, along their arms over the bodymarkings... I mean, they were actually hot b/c it was hot outside. See? Not dirty

2005-08-22 2:00 PM
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Queen BTich
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Subject: RE: Jokes: things that sound dirty but aren't

Another one:

I always carry lube with me. Which kind do you need? I have bike lube, aquaphor, and bodyglide.

2005-08-22 2:07 PM
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Subject: RE: Jokes: things that sound dirty but aren't
He laid her on the table
So white clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat
He rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast
And then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide... he looked inside
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...

And then he stuffed the turkey.

BWAAAHAHAHA
2005-08-22 2:11 PM
in reply to: #230897

Subject: ...
This user's post has been ignored.

Edited by Gwozdzilla 2005-08-22 2:13 PM


2005-08-22 3:09 PM
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Champion
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Subject: RE: Jokes: things that sound dirty but aren't
WetSuit Strippers.  Sounds exotic
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