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2006-03-21 12:27 PM

Veteran
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Michigan
Subject: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...

So, I went to the market on Sunday with my daughter.  We picked up a whole bunch of fresh fruit and veggies.  When we got home I talked with my husband about how important it is to teach our kids about healthy eating habits and how this was a good market to shop at because of all the fresh, non-processed foods.  He agreed and said he wanted to start being healthier.  The very next frickin' day he went to a grocery store and came home with bags of crap!  FIVE boxes of sugary cerals - and no Cheerios, BTW!  Cookies, cinnamon covered graham crackers, ice cream and PEEPS for gosh sakes!  When I asked him, as nicely as I could, if he remembered our conversation from the day before, he said, "Well, I got low-fat syrup."   ARGHHHHH!!!!  What do you think?  Do you think he doesn't care, he honestly forgot, or is he being passive/agressive and trying to undermine my efforts?  I don't know what to do.  It's one thing if he wants to eat himself into a fat sugar coma but I don't want our kids growing up with these bad habits.



2006-03-21 12:29 PM
in reply to: #375514

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Master
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Savannah,
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...
Wait a second....a man went to a grocery store?  What is this you speak of?  Mine hasn't stepped foot in one for like 6 years.  I am stunned.
2006-03-21 12:34 PM
in reply to: #375514

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Master
2946
200050010010010010025
Centennial, CO
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...
Sorry, but I grew up on that stuff and turned out fine. Heck, being an active kid, I ate like a pig and weighed all of 120 lbs when I graduated high school. It is one thing to teach healthy eating and to watch what you eet (Moderation). But Moderation goes both ways. Don't deprive everyone from eating things they like because you don't think they're natural enough.

O.k. now to your question. Was he being passive-agressive. Probably not. He probably went to the store and bought what he was used to buying. Maybe he doesn't feel like he really eats that bad. Sure the Peeps are pure sugar, but they're only out for about a month. If you really want to watch it and teach, then go with him. If you want something done right...
2006-03-21 12:35 PM
in reply to: #375518

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2006-03-21 12:40 PM
in reply to: #375514

Champion
6962
500010005001001001001002525
Atlanta, Ga
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...
Hold your horses there...I LOVE going to the grocery store. Don't pass out...

But most people go with what they are use to. I think he honestly forgot or stayed with his habits and then had to cover it up when he got "confronted". I actually had to point out to my wife that there is such a thing as a generic brand and teach her to look for things on sale. She had no clue that generics exsisted (NO JOKE) before we shopped together.

My suggestion is this. Either go with him and make it a group outing or make him a specific list. Keep in mind that you are proposing a drastic change in regiment. So you might even wheen him and the kids onto it. I started with buying wheat bread and then incorporating wheat pasta. Now Nancy can't get enough of it.
2006-03-21 12:56 PM
in reply to: #375518

COURT JESTER
12230
50005000200010010025
ROCKFORD, IL
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...

southernaquagoddess - 2006-03-21 11:29 AM Wait a second....a man went to a grocery store?  What is this you speak of?  Mine hasn't stepped foot in one for like 6 years.  I am stunned.

Glad I don't resemble that comment.  I do about 75% of the grocery shopping.     Neener neener neener

Congrats on making the effort on better eating.  Just remember this when it comes to the sugar stuff....MODERATION is okay.....excessive indulgence is bad.  I LOVE ice cream and grew up knowing on one serving size, HUGE.   Now it's a coffee cup of ice cream.

For "good for you" grocery shopping, work on "L SHOPPING."  Every grocery store I've been in is set up this way.  All the fruits and vegatables are on one side of the store and the meats, cheeses, dairy and such is along that back.   THAT makes the "L" where you want to get most of your food.  MOST of the stuff in the isles is over-processed crap.

As for the hubby....perhaps just do your thing for shopping and eating and give him a chance to get out of a BAD HABIT that's had a long time to become 'instinct.'



2006-03-21 1:02 PM
in reply to: #375514

Pro
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Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...
I grocery shop every week. I usually do so with my wife, but if she's not up for it, I'll do it.

As for eating crap, we limit our crap. We buy mostly veggies and fruit (that's what happens when you eat fruit, yoghurt and muesli for breakfast, green salad for lunch and some protein and veggies for supper).
2006-03-21 1:15 PM
in reply to: #375514

Master
1932
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Savannah,
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...
I knew there was a reason I love you guys so much.  Can you also, gulp, make coffee?
2006-03-21 1:17 PM
in reply to: #375514

Master
2052
20002525
Colorado
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...
Ok, well, to be fair: Peeps are now in season. It'd be a shame to miss them
2006-03-21 1:17 PM
in reply to: #375514

Champion
8903
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Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...

Yeah, there are some good looking chicks at the grocery store.  Why once I remember...

Oh, sorry yup he's just out of practice.  He needs you to show him what to buy, what aisle it's in, what to stay away from.  Men are basically herd animals, we follow the leader, we don't really know any better.

 

2006-03-21 1:24 PM
in reply to: #375514

Champion
7542
5000200050025
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Bronze member
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...
I'll probably get in trouble for this...but nevertheless...

You said you and he "talked" about eating healthier. What was the tone of the talk? Is it possible that the agreement went "I_decided_we_should_be_eating_healthy" and he agreed rather than confront you? Has he asked questions about reading nutrition labels and what you really mean by "eating healthy"?

It is possible, even probable that you are further along the "healthy eating" path than he is, and he wants to linger a little longer? He may very well support smaller, gradual, changes in the diet rather than a wholesale "chips out...raw celery in" change.

Take him out on a simple, casual "date" and very gently ask him what "healthy eating" means to him. Make sure that he understands the answer is not what he thinks it means to you. Once you have heard his answer, you and he can work towards some common ground for the family. (Even things as simple as he can buy one box of sugary cereal that you agree you don't have to eat.)

Pretty soon, you'll trust him to return to the grocery.


2006-03-21 1:28 PM
in reply to: #375514

Resident Curmudgeon
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The Road Back
Gold member
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...

I eat 15-20 pounds of fruit and vegetables every week. My oldest son used to eat broccoli and cauliflower along with me until he saw his mama making faces while he did it.

I also refused to buy sweetened cereal, sticking with corn flakes and cheerios. One day I noticed that mama bear was putting sugar and Hershey's chocolate syup on her cheerios. So, what's the use?

Now most meals we cook twice: grilled lean meats and steamed vegetables for me, hot dogs, macandcheese, pizza, chicken nugggets, or hamburgers and the like for my four 9-yo boys (aka 3 kids and wife).

And I do 90% of the grocery shopping in the family.



Edited by the bear 2006-03-21 1:29 PM
2006-03-21 1:30 PM
in reply to: #375514

Veteran
465
1001001001002525
Michigan
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...

A couple of clarifications...we have been talking about eat healthier for at least a year (since I started Tri training).  I have gradually increased the healthy food in the house - and I definitely have not eliminated all of the junk food.  I like my chocolate as much as the next person!  This was not a drastic spur of the moment change that I sprung on him.  I probably should have explained that.  I appreciate the feedback regarding continuing to work with my husband on this.  I am not going to give up.

One additional comment regarding a pet peeve of mine.  No offense to anyone, but the shock regarding men grocery shopping irritates me to no end!  My husband and I both work full time jobs - in fact, I work longer hours - so he should be doing his part around the house.  I can't believe the amount of slack that men are given when both spouses work.  Why is there still some expectation that women will continue to take care of the house, the finances, the kids, the appointments, etc...in addition to working a full time job?  Why are people so shocked when a man does the shopping and why are they given a huge pat on the back when they throw a load of laundry in?  Why can't it be a team effort?  I am afraid I am stirring something up here but I am honestly trying to understand this issue better.  This is not a slam against men - in fact, it is the opposite.  I think they can do as much as women! 

2006-03-21 1:34 PM
in reply to: #375584

Pro
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Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...
southernaquagoddess - 2006-03-21 2:15 PM

I knew there was a reason I love you guys so much.  Can you also, gulp, make coffee?


That's my job in the morning: electric espresso maker. Capuccino every morning. I'm slower moving in the morning than my wife, so I get the less labour intensive jobs.

What's a peep?
2006-03-21 1:34 PM
in reply to: #375514

Champion
6627
5000100050010025
Rochester Hills, Michigan
Gold member
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...

Grocery shopping rocks - and I know how to handle a washing machine and the sautee pan, too.

Kim - if he agreed that you should teach the kids about healthy eating habits and said that it's his intent to start being healthier, that's one thing....but he may not have been clear that you meant NOW, and that teaching included him changing HIS diet, shopping habits, snacking routine, starting NOW.  I can't tell you how many times I stated my intent to do something, but disagreed with someone on the specifics, because I intended to do it my own way.  Which is different from what the person I was talking to was expecting.

We're guys.  Specifics are good.  Ask him if he's planning to be healthy, and what he's doing - i.e., shop exclusively at the market, don't eat crap at all (or just in front of the kids), limit the ice cream to weekend evenings, etc. etc.  I'm sure he has every intention of being healthier...but the way he's putting it into action (the specifics of what, when, etc) weren't what you were expecting.  Specifics will probably help you both. 

And I get the peeps thing.  They rock. 

2006-03-21 1:37 PM
in reply to: #375584

Crystal Lake, IL
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...

southernaquagoddess - 2006-03-21 1:15 PM I knew there was a reason I love you guys so much.  Can you also, gulp, make coffee?

Continuing the hijack (this IS COJ)

I go to the grocery store 3-4 times/week, admittedly most of the trips are due to my unique food situation.

Coffee- I don't drink it and I can't make it, but every Sat & Sun I go to Dunkin Donuts to get her a medium Fr. Van. for when she wakes up.  Does that count?

psst - some of us do laundry too!

 



2006-03-21 1:37 PM
in reply to: #375518

molto veloce mama
9311
500020002000100100100
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...
maybe its a good thing? we usually do all our grocey shopping as a family.

this is my life though....

'Wait a second....a man cleaned a bathroom? What is this you speak of? Mine hasn't cleaned one for like 6 years. I am stunned."
2006-03-21 1:49 PM
in reply to: #375611

Elite
2768
20005001001002525
Raleigh
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...
the bear - 2006-03-21 1:28 PM

I eat 15-20 pounds of fruit and vegetables every week. My oldest son used to eat broccoli and cauliflower along with me until he saw his mama making faces while he did it.

I also refused to buy sweetened cereal, sticking with corn flakes and cheerios. One day I noticed that mama bear was putting sugar and Hershey's chocolate syup on her cheerios. So, what's the use?

Now most meals we cook twice: grilled lean meats and steamed vegetables for me, hot dogs, macandcheese, pizza, chicken nugggets, or hamburgers and the like for my four 9-yo boys (aka 3 kids and wife).

And I do 90% of the grocery shopping in the family.

2006-03-21 1:49 PM
in reply to: #375514

Elite
2768
20005001001002525
Raleigh
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...
bear you have 4 9 year olds boys??? wow
2006-03-21 1:53 PM
in reply to: #375514

Champion
6962
500010005001001001001002525
Atlanta, Ga
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...

I agree, us men get a pass by too many people on things around the house.  But to be fair, it's not totally our fault.  You let me get away with something and it becomes a habit...you're to blame just as much as I am.  Just keep that in mind ladies. 

 I cook, clean after cooking, do laundry (we do our own because she can go 3 weeks and I have to do it weekly), and YES....even vacuum when asked....BUT I don't do bathrooms!!!  sorry autumn...no bathrooms here.  And that sheet changing thing...haven't figured that out yet.  I just know that different colors appear on the bed from time to time. 

Communication baby!!

2006-03-21 1:55 PM
in reply to: #375584

COURT JESTER
12230
50005000200010010025
ROCKFORD, IL
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...

southernaquagoddess - 2006-03-21 12:15 PM I knew there was a reason I love you guys so much.  Can you also, gulp, make coffee?

Why YES I can make coffee. I've gotten to like chilled coffee so I make a pot every few days, put it in the fridge and in the morning put some in a travel mug with creamer for on the way to work. YUMMY!!! 



2006-03-21 2:01 PM
in reply to: #375641

Resident Curmudgeon
25290
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The Road Back
Gold member
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...

golfinggods - 2006-03-21 1:49 PM bear you have 4 9 year olds boys??? wow

Yes. 9-yo twins, a 14-going-on-25 son, and mama bear. They all eat like 9-yo boys.

2006-03-21 2:03 PM
in reply to: #375614

Pro
5153
50001002525
Helena, MT
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...
kimta - 2006-03-21 11:30 AM

One additional comment regarding a pet peeve of mine.  No offense to anyone, but the shock regarding men grocery shopping irritates me to no end!  My husband and I both work full time jobs - in fact, I work longer hours - so he should be doing his part around the house.  I can't believe the amount of slack that men are given when both spouses work.  Why is there still some expectation that women will continue to take care of the house, the finances, the kids, the appointments, etc...in addition to working a full time job?  Why are people so shocked when a man does the shopping and why are they given a huge pat on the back when they throw a load of laundry in?  Why can't it be a team effort?  I am afraid I am stirring something up here but I am honestly trying to understand this issue better.  This is not a slam against men - in fact, it is the opposite.  I think they can do as much as women! 

You're totally right, Kim. I try to make up for injustices everywhere by making my husband do it all.

2006-03-21 2:06 PM
in reply to: #375518

Expert
760
5001001002525
Mt. Morris, IL
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...

southernaquagoddess - 2006-03-21 11:29 AM Wait a second....a man went to a grocery store?  What is this you speak of?  Mine hasn't stepped foot in one for like 6 years.  I am stunned.

I live in the opposite house.  My wife who is 5'10" 120lbs buys and eats junk.  I don't let her shop much anymore or I end up with bags of chips and Ben and Jerrys.  I know the problem is will power, but as far as kids, all we ever got was health food at home (we were allowed a grape soda on Sunday if we were good at church), and i was still a bigger kid. 

2006-03-21 2:21 PM
in reply to: #375618

Extreme Veteran
328
10010010025
Texas
Subject: RE: Ok you guys, pls help me understand...

Opus - 2006-03-21 1:34 PM  What's a peep?

 

A peep is a marshmellow covered with (colored) sugar...pure sugar but yummy and fun to eat.

 





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