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2013-01-03 10:06 AM
in reply to: #4559754

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Subject: RE: Anyone get depressed around the holidays?
cathyd - 2013-01-04 2:58 AM

I was depressed around the holidays this year.  We lost two family members to cancer in 2012.  No amount of `stuff`could make up for not having them here.  I find it hard to relate to the OP `I didn`t get what I wanted... wah wah` attitude.  

that's tough. I hope you have a better 2013. I think I understand the OP sometimes you feel you're doing so much for everyone else and it's not appreciated. In the scheme if things it's no biggie but sometimes you need to vent.


2013-01-03 10:13 AM
in reply to: #4558428

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Subject: RE: Anyone get depressed around the holidays?
Bigfuzzydoug - 2013-01-02 4:01 PM
mehaner - 2013-01-02 3:53 PM

you and i have very different definitions of depressed.  we also have very different definitions of need...

if nobody can buy you anything that would make you happy, what do you expect them to do?

So I shouldn't have used the word "depressed".  My wife would but upset for me for that choice as well.  "Spoiled/selfishly/bummed" would be better.  I know what "depressed" ACTUALLY means.

I don't expect anyone to do anything different.  It's just me and how I sometimes feel.  That's all.  Total first-world problem.  And forgive my arrogance around the plasma.  I know it's not food or shoes.

 

let me re-phrase.  if nobody can buy you a gift that you will like, what exactly do you WANT them to do for you at the holidays?  also, i know my husband thinks he does "so much" for our family, but i do a hell of a lot too.  are you sure you are the only one sacrificing or do you think mrs bfd deserves some appreciation here too?

2013-01-03 10:53 AM
in reply to: #4558538

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Subject: RE: Anyone get depressed around the holidays?
Bigfuzzydoug - 2013-01-02 1:36 PM
freckle face - 2013-01-02 4:20 PM

Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound? You're sulking because you do nice things for your family and can't be satisfied with their efforts for you? You are snubbing the homemade presents your kids made you? What do you expect them to do, use their kiddie credit cards to buy you a new boat? Is that what will stop you from being a victim of depression?

Why don't you focus on being less selfish, less expecting of finding fufillment in material (ESPECIALLY if people "can't shop for you") and quit feeling sorry for yourself? You sound insufferable.

Yup.  I sure know exactly how ridiculous this all sounds.  I admit it.  I'm not snubbing the gifts I get from my kids, they're only 11 and 8.  And I'm not depressed.

Maybe it's simply the fact that I'm at a stage in my life where I work lots of hours to support my family, do lots of chores that need to get done, take my kids to the things they want to do...  My life now is mostly a life of service to others.  I simply sacrificed my own personal time to try and get it all done.  Very common with people in my position.  I do it willingly and making a resolution or just saying, "I'm going to give myself more time during the day for me", even when it comes to training is easier said than done.  And that service work just continues to carry on through the holidays.  That's all.  I made this bed and I'll sleep in it.

It's been a rough past 2 years for me healthwise and jobwise.  Just wanting to something "fun" to come along and it's tough.  "Just being alive" is kind of wearing off now.  I guess you're allowed your smack-down on me.  I suppose I am being insufferable.

 

Well, this sounds a LOT deeper than just a bit of the holiday blues.

2013-01-03 10:55 AM
in reply to: #4559896

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Subject: RE: Anyone get depressed around the holidays?

I never got depressed or the blues around the holidays.  Granted, I always had someone and/or family.  For ME, that my be the trigger.  If you are alone (no SO or family), then I could see the holidays as being a drag.

MOSTLY, it makes me happy to see my wife basically just "float" through the holidays.  She just loves them.  The food and the decorations and the music.  Just seeing her happy, makes me happy.

It's never about the gifts or presents.  HOWEVER, I may not get depressed, BUT they can be a little stressful with gift buying, over crowded malls, traveling, lack of workouts and TOO MUCH good food!



Edited by Kido 2013-01-03 10:57 AM
2013-01-03 11:05 AM
in reply to: #4558390

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Subject: RE: Anyone get depressed around the holidays?

I don't get this thread....it's weird to me. 

I don't do 1/2 of what I did before my kids got to the age they are.  Luckily, we train together quite a bit, but mostly I taxi them around to their practices/events.  I only raced 3 time last year....my kids raced almost 40 times if you count triathlons, XC meets, swim meets, barrel races,  and horse shows.

My ENTIRE life revolves around my children........there can be no greater gift in my mind.  I'm grateful each day for the opportunity to help and watch my healthy kids grow into healthy adults. 

BFD - you've got to get out of "yourself".....you're gonna miss it!

2013-01-03 11:44 AM
in reply to: #4558390

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Subject: RE: Anyone get depressed around the holidays?
Based on what you've said to clarify your feelings, I think going to therapy would be an excellent choice for you. It will help you sort through all these feelings of obligation and unfulfilled needs.


2013-01-03 12:08 PM
in reply to: #4558538

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Subject: RE: Anyone get depressed around the holidays?

Bigfuzzydoug - It's been a rough past 2 years for me healthwise and jobwise.  Just wanting to something "fun" to come along and it's tough.  "Just being alive" is kind of wearing off now.  I guess you're allowed your smack-down on me.  I suppose I am being insufferable.

Venting on CoJ is fun, isn't it?

You have been through a lot for sure.

Hang in there. It will get better.

2013-01-03 12:28 PM
in reply to: #4560071

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Subject: RE: Anyone get depressed around the holidays?

This did bring up a thought to at least consider.  I figure I can say it since I did the whole "cancer" thing last year too.

BUT, could it be a little like post partum depression or something?  For a while there, I was getting tons of well wishes and concern and attention for the "C" stuff.  I sort of miss that attention.  Not enough to be depressed since I'm more glad that it's not an issue anymore.

Maybe going  through some withdrawls of having less focus on you and now you have to focus on them?  It would be understandable.

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