Triathlon before a wedding? (Page 2)

What would you suggest he do otherwise to honor the importance of the wedding day?

I am with you - do you (OP) have your own family and friends coming? Aren't you going to spend any time with them?

I get that her parents coming from out of country are setting the date.  But i know i thought i could do lots of things on the day of - but honestly, unless it's really small or you have the $$ to pay people to do all the set up and running around there was tons of last minute things to do and my hubby got to do much of it since he didn't have to do the whole hair and makeup extravaganza to do. 

Save your energy for having some fun with your friends and family on your wedding day! Bust a move on the dance floor, stay up late.  I know i would be seriously upset if my guy was tired on our wedding day because he had decided to a tri in the morning. 

I guess I just thought that there would be lots to do the morning of.  My husband was with my dad, his son etc the morning of.  There was alot of family in from out of the country so it was a busy day for us all. I totally appreciate that everyone does things differently. 

 I am sure that he will do whatever works for them as a couple and it will be a wonderful day. 

and judgmental as I am reading this in other threads!

personally, I would not race on my wedding day. There will be plenty of other races you can do. Even if it is not as big a deal to you, sounds like it is to your future bride. Let her have her day!

Having just gotten married in September, I'd tell you to only do a short race. The months leading up to it were busy, and while that  might be ok for a taper, you'll be focused on a lot of other things. My husband and I stuck to sprints and olys last summer knowing many of our weekends would be interrupted with various wedding-ralted commitments. We also did counseling with our pastor on weekends.

The night before, we were up late enjoying time with family and friends. If I had an HIM  the next morning, I would have skipped out on that crucial time with people who came near and far to see us.  As well, there are too many variables, especially for a long course race.

Triathlon will always be there.  If you think your marriage is important, start out on the right foot and work with her to make a compromise.  I ran for an hour the morning of and it was great. My husband and his friends went for a hike and enjoyed time together.

Also, consider the type of wedding you are having.  Some are much more involved that others in planning due to size, budget, etc.  I hope it works out and that this isn't always how you communicate about important life events.

Best of luck!

I think she's suggesting that he do the race another time.

Chances are, doing a sprint that morning won't be the end of the world. Sure, there's the chance that he could be injured, but you take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street, or sticking your face in a fan.

Less important than the question of doing the triathlon or not is the question of communication. I'd suggest that instead of asking CoJ, the OP talk to his fiancée about it.

good advice.   and happy marriage to you.

I hope this is not your attitude for the rest of your marriage

x2 - like in-laws from out of the country who apparently can only make it one weekend of the entire year...

I have a hard time wrapping my head around her parents traveling from a different country (and clearly it's a hassle with their schedule otherwise it would be on a different weekend) and the groom just not being there to help host.

Yep.  I did nothing and it was ridiculous.  Apparently there was some sort of tuxedo crisis, and I didn't know anything about it.  Having something to do would have been great.  However, given the events at the rehersal dinner and the after party and the after the after party, a triathlon would not have worked.

I dunno - almost all of our family came from out of town the days surrounding the wedding were very busy and filled with family obligations and last minute to-do's.  If the OP doesn't have similar obligations - which he hasn't said it might be different but it's a talk worth having between them.

And, I know I did my first HIM 3 weeks before my wedding (which we both did) - i don't consider myself as having been a bridezilla but with most people coming from out of town and such - he wanted to hang out with his friends and it was super helpful knowing he`d get to the venue early to make sure all the bits got done. It was very helpful. 

I guess many wedding days are different ...

As long as you are to the wedding on time, who cares?  I agree with Tony and GD....you have so much time on your hands it's ridiculous to just sit around.

On the other hand......if something goes wrong at the race, and you are late to the ceremony....prepare to live with that for the rest of your life.  HA!!! 

The stakes are higher than you know.

It's her day.  Yes, the marriage is for both of you, but the wedding is her day.  The one day where she is the absolute center of attention and all eyes are on her.  She and her family are probably spending a good chunk of change on it, too, so just go along with it.  You're just there for pictures, to say "I do", and give a good toast.  

Let her have this one.  You'll have many, many, many more weekends to do a race, but she'll only have this one day to have her wedding (hopefully).  No biggie, and it doesn't mean there's any crazy communication issues.  Just go for a run, pick up a few beers, and hang out with your groomsmen until they need you.  

And don't be late for the pictures.  For the love of all that is holy, don't be late for the pictures.

Never!

I love this rule.  Someone tell my mother-in-law, please?

Obviously written by a woman who doesn't realize that once a man asks, "will you marry me?" he relegates all other decision making to her...

My brother had his wedding on Mt. Hood last summer.  All the guys in the wedding, incl. my brother rode up the mountain from Government Camp to Timberline and back on the morning of the wedding day.

But the big difference here is that the bride was cool with it.  If the OP can compromise with her and she's ok with him racing, that's one thing.  Don't do it without telling her though.