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2013-07-02 2:16 PM

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Champion
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Brooklyn, NY
Subject: Kids and the death of a pet
If there's a worse job as a parent than having to tell your kid about the death of their pet, I hope I never find out what it is.

I've often said that the best thing about being a parent is that you get to go through things for the first time all over again. Most of the time, that's awesome-- Disney World, the beach, fireworks on the 4th of July, etc. It really is like being able to experience these wonderful memories from your childhood as if they're happening all over again, because you get to see them through your kids' eyes.

Sometimes, though, it freakin' sucks. Not only was it heartbreaking to watch him go through the anguish and the loss, but it brought back all the awful memories of losing my own pets as a kid.

Ugh.


2013-07-02 2:37 PM
in reply to: jmk-brooklyn

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Champion
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Richmond, VA
Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet

Sorry to hear that - but I'm sure you handled it with poise and dignity.  Part of our charge is to guide our kids through the good and the bad of life.

Or you could do like the Heffernens on the King of Queens, the kept buying Doug a new dog everytime his old one died - and he never realized that his dog really would be 36 years old...

2013-07-02 3:00 PM
in reply to: condorman

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Pro
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McKinney, TX
Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet

To add a little comic relief in this.....

About 6 months ago we had to put a cat down (kidney disease/failure). We knew the time was approaching so we started saying things like "Sted's looking very sick" and "Have to take him to the vet". Well....the time came and we had to put him down. My wife had him even before we met and our 7 year old has pictures of him in her room, her as a baby and him laying next to her, etc.

So....we waited a day or so to try to bring it up, asking friends/FB on their experience, prepping for the worst, bought ice cream, got the Kleenex out and called her into the kitchen to the table. We said "You know Stedman was pretty sick and we had to take him in.....etc, etc....and they had to give a special shot.....and....well sweetie, Sted is in heaven". She sat there for a second, looked at my wife and says "when the other cat dies, can we get a Pomeranian"


2013-07-02 3:05 PM
in reply to: jmk-brooklyn

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Master
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Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet
Sorry about your, and your son's, loss.  Sometimes helping them make a memorial of some type can help them through.
2013-07-02 7:04 PM
in reply to: bradleyd3

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Champion
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Brooklyn, NY
Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet
Originally posted by bradleyd3


To add a little comic relief in this.....

About 6 months ago we had to put a cat down (kidney disease/failure). We knew the time was approaching so we started saying things like "Sted's looking very sick" and "Have to take him to the vet". Well....the time came and we had to put him down. My wife had him even before we met and our 7 year old has pictures of him in her room, her as a baby and him laying next to her, etc.

So....we waited a day or so to try to bring it up, asking friends/FB on their experience, prepping for the worst, bought ice cream, got the Kleenex out and called her into the kitchen to the table. We said "You know Stedman was pretty sick and we had to take him in.....etc, etc....and they had to give a special shot.....and....well sweetie, Sted is in heaven". She sat there for a second, looked at my wife and says "when the other cat dies, can we get a Pomeranian"





That's hilarious.
2013-07-02 7:58 PM
in reply to: jmk-brooklyn

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet
I was 42 when I found out my pet turtle did not get out and run away when I was 4. That in fact it died. I was devastated.


2013-07-02 9:09 PM
in reply to: jmk-brooklyn

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Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet

Originally posted by jmk-brooklyn
Originally posted by bradleyd3 To add a little comic relief in this..... About 6 months ago we had to put a cat down (kidney disease/failure). We knew the time was approaching so we started saying things like "Sted's looking very sick" and "Have to take him to the vet". Well....the time came and we had to put him down. My wife had him even before we met and our 7 year old has pictures of him in her room, her as a baby and him laying next to her, etc. So....we waited a day or so to try to bring it up, asking friends/FB on their experience, prepping for the worst, bought ice cream, got the Kleenex out and called her into the kitchen to the table. We said "You know Stedman was pretty sick and we had to take him in.....etc, etc....and they had to give a special shot.....and....well sweetie, Sted is in heaven". She sat there for a second, looked at my wife and says "when the other cat dies, can we get a Pomeranian"
That's hilarious.

Oh no she didn't!!!!!!!

2013-07-02 9:18 PM
in reply to: trigal38

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Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet

Agree, I had a terrible time trying to find the right time to tell my kids. Finally I had them alone in the van so I just dove in. Well, I guess in the van on the way to the hair salon was not the best time either . Broke my heart more to see their pain than feel my own. 

2013-07-03 11:35 AM
in reply to: bradleyd3

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Champion
4942
2000200050010010010010025
Richmond, VA
Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet

Originally posted by bradleyd3 To add a little comic relief in this..... About 6 months ago we had to put a cat down (kidney disease/failure). We knew the time was approaching so we started saying things like "Sted's looking very sick" and "Have to take him to the vet". Well....the time came and we had to put him down. My wife had him even before we met and our 7 year old has pictures of him in her room, her as a baby and him laying next to her, etc. So....we waited a day or so to try to bring it up, asking friends/FB on their experience, prepping for the worst, bought ice cream, got the Kleenex out and called her into the kitchen to the table. We said "You know Stedman was pretty sick and we had to take him in.....etc, etc....and they had to give a special shot.....and....well sweetie, Sted is in heaven". She sat there for a second, looked at my wife and says "when the other cat dies, can we get a Pomeranian"

We lost our dog a few years ago, my wife's "first child."  She had this dog before she met me and later found out that I was acceptable to date because her dog really liked me.

The dog survived many moves, graduate school, 2 kids, liver cancer and adopting another puppy.  When she finally passed away, my wife was a total wreck.  But the dog had been our older son's shadow for the first 6 years of our son's life.  So deliver the news to our 6 year old, he pauses, and then says "that's ok, she wasn't my favorite dog anyway."  From my recollection, he then went back to playing with his toys not missing a beat...

kids have a certain resiliency

2013-07-03 3:47 PM
in reply to: condorman

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Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet
Had to put down our dog (Corgi-14 y/o); devastated the wife and girls. With that said, none of them would go to the vet with me. The vet's (WONDERFUL FOLKS) asked me if I wanted to stay with him or just say good-by. I opted to stay; I gotta say, even as a self-proclaimed Neanderthal knuckle-dragger, it RIPPED my heart out. My parents had me stay with my pet when he passed, and I think that it was an important lesson, but there was NO WAY to convince either the wife or the girls.

My .02
2013-07-03 11:12 PM
in reply to: prieto539

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Master
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Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet
I remember the first time we had to have a cat put down.  We were at the vet's office and after we made the decision Mike and I stayed with him.  Mike said something to the effect that we must be grown ups now because this time our parents weren't here to shield us from it.  That really stuck with me.  You would have thought we were putting down on of our human children as much as I carried on.  Last November our oldest had to make the agonizing decision to have a beloved cat out to sleep.  I would have done anything to have shielded him from that.  He cried that night and for a few days following.  Until then, I could not remember a time when I had witnessed him crying.  He opted to have Pumpkin cremated and kept the ashes.  He said the other day that he still talks to Pumpkin.    


2013-07-04 1:09 PM
in reply to: prieto539

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Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet

Originally posted by prieto539 Had to put down our dog (Corgi-14 y/o); devastated the wife and girls. With that said, none of them would go to the vet with me. The vet's (WONDERFUL FOLKS) asked me if I wanted to stay with him or just say good-by. I opted to stay; I gotta say, even as a self-proclaimed Neanderthal knuckle-dragger, it RIPPED my heart out. My parents had me stay with my pet when he passed, and I think that it was an important lesson, but there was NO WAY to convince either the wife or the girls. My .02

My husband and I went together. My dog looked right into my eyes until - poof, lights out. She just collapsed. I let out this moan/sob/gasp that shocked even me. I knew what was coming but I was still not prepared.

If it weren't for all the great advice I got from BT I would have been like your wife and sent her with my husband. I'll never forget those last moments with her but I'm so glad I had them.

2013-07-04 3:42 PM
in reply to: trigal38

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Master
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Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet
My son is 6. When he was 3 and I was 8mo pregnant, my cat and my horse died within a month of each other. I'd had my cat for 11 years and my horse for 23. Even at 3 we talked pretty frankly to him. Now he tells his little sister about what a great cat Austin was and that she'll have a horse like Dusty some day. It was so hard for me, but listening to him describe them makes me smile.
2013-07-04 6:11 PM
in reply to: prieto539

Master
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Subject: RE: Kids and the death of a pet
Originally posted by prieto539

Had to put down our dog (Corgi-14 y/o); devastated the wife and girls. With that said, none of them would go to the vet with me. The vet's (WONDERFUL FOLKS) asked me if I wanted to stay with him or just say good-by. I opted to stay; I gotta say, even as a self-proclaimed Neanderthal knuckle-dragger, it RIPPED my heart out. My parents had me stay with my pet when he passed, and I think that it was an important lesson, but there was NO WAY to convince either the wife or the girls.

My .02
We had to put down out 14 year old Cocker several years ago. He was the sweetest gentlest dog in the world and my wife rescued him 3 days after we moved into our house. we had him for just over 7 years and he had a "little sister" Noiree that is part Cocker and part Schitzu. We took him to the vet and she said we could stay or go and I said we had to stay because we owed him that and so much more. I cried like a baby the whole time
Noiree was devastated when we came home with out him and she would go looking for him for quite a while afterwards.
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