General Discussion Triathlon Talk » Who are your closest friends? Rss Feed  
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2013-12-02 12:22 PM

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Subject: Who are your closest friends?
Just curious about your lifestyles!

I'm a single 21 year old male living on the other side of the country from my hometown and family. It seems rather hard to find people around my age that have the same interests I do, as I can only tolerate drinking in excess and partying so much. I still do it, I'm not a complete loner! (Although I'm pretty close.) I've been looking at tri-clubs so I think that'll help a bit.

But my question for you guys is: who are your closest friends? Are they fellow triathletes, coworkers, or just people you've grown up with your whole life?

I do slightly feel this sport is more catered to settled down adults with a more predictable schedule of work and family outings. But I haven't been on that spectrum and I'm sure there are obstacles such as spending so much time training away from your families.


2013-12-02 12:39 PM
in reply to: MarkPalm

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?

I'm a lot older, but after getting divorced and moving back to Philly after 20 years it was tough. I joined a running club, and later a tri club. I would say 80% of my social life now revolves around those friends I've met through sports. Most of my old friends are wrapped up in their families and business, and aren't into the same things I am. I'll catch up every now and then, but now I have a new circle of people to have fun with. Still go for a beer pretty frequently, but instead of staying up late we get up early and go biking or running.

2013-12-02 12:50 PM
in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly

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Champion
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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?

I tried to make friends with fellow triathletes, and cyclists (in a club I belong to). I never seemed to click with any of them. I tried, but nothing panned out. 

My closest friends are people I have known all my life or for many years. None of my close friends are into athletic endeavors like I am. 

2013-12-02 2:36 PM
in reply to: KSH

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?

My wife and kids, my Donkai brethren, a couple of other BTers, and my best friend from a neighboring town.

2013-12-02 2:44 PM
in reply to: MarkPalm

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?

I'm a LOT older than you, so take this for what it's worth.   I turned 60 this year and am an empty-nester with kids 30 and 28. 

Interestingly, my closest friends are 5-10 years older than me.  Most of those relationships came from common experiences raising kids at the same time, or from our church involvement.  Most of my older close friends are fairly sedentary athletically, though several are avid golfers.

I've got friends (mostly younger) that I've developed through the local triathlon and track clubs, but don't really socialize too much with them other than at races or club functions.

I get along well with my co-workers at the office, but generally don't socialize too much with them.  Some of that goes back to my Navy days and the anti-fraternization policies.  I prefer to compartmentalize between work and my personal life. 

If I were you, I'd take a hard look at local tri clubs, running clubs, or gyms to meet people with like interests.  Nothing wrong with spending a night on the town every so often, but you don't want to center your social life around that.

Mark

 

 

 

 

 

 

2013-12-02 3:04 PM
in reply to: MarkPalm

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?

I met some of the very best friends when I was 19-21. And, no, they weren't from college. I met them through cycling. From seeing the same people at races, hanging out at the same bike shop, at the trails, and going on group rides. After marriages (some divorces), children, careers, and even moving around from state to state, we're the closest group ever.

We only see each other a few times a year, but it's always magical. This past Thanksgiving is no exception. We just talked about life while our kids played for hours. It was, as always, as if we hadn't been apart for more than a few days. We hadn't all been together since last December.

Can you find life-long friendships within a sport? Absolutely. Will you befriend every single tri-geek? Not at all. But you will find people that share the same passions for life and sport that you have and it's those people that will become your new family.



2013-12-02 4:28 PM
in reply to: #4907131

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?
I have been blessed with the same best friends I made in 5th grade--30+ years ago! We are spread throughout the country but chat daily on out own FB thread. My other best friends are my teacher friends which includes my hubby that teaches directly across the hall from me and my buddy that teaches tight next door to me! I have a fairly small bestie circle but they are all genuine, quality relationships. None participate in the tri lifestyle at all--I come here for that fix! Lol! It would be nice to have someone to go out on a lung run with occasionally though--besides my furry running buddies!
2013-12-02 7:30 PM
in reply to: MarkPalm

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?
My soccer teammates that I've trained and played with for over 15 years.
2013-12-02 7:57 PM
in reply to: Blanda


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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?
Other than a few training buddies, and a few friends from church, my friends are folks that I have ocean raced with, or done offshore passages with. When you spend 4-6 days together on a small yacht (going 24/7) in all weathers, you really get to know each other. And you can pick up on conversations 12 months later. I enjoy socializing after triathlons, runs etc., but there just isn't the time to develop real friendships at the events. Not that folks are unfriendly by any means. For younger guys especially, stay with an active crowd - much of the population gets pretty sedentary by age 30 (if not before). Tri-clubs might be a good bet.
2013-12-03 1:39 AM
in reply to: jbrookscga78

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?
I've always found it hard to find people I feel I have enough common interests with to be friends. I was never that close to other girls in high school, got married at 18, was too busy in undergrad to party, moved states for grad school, and then recently moved states again to take a job. I'm now 28, have been married for 10 years, and have no kids (and no plans for kids). It's hard to find people to relate to at this point when it seems everyone else is focused on kids or getting married or getting fat. It also doesn't help to move states every few years or work with a group of people who are on average 20 years older than me. It works for me though as I often am quickly disappointed with most people once I get to know them.
2013-12-03 7:56 AM
in reply to: csikes

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?
For me, my closest friends are a combination of childhood friends, co-workers and Triathlon club friends. Not all of them have the same interests so my wife and I normally will hang out with one group on a night and a different group a different night.


2013-12-03 1:31 PM
in reply to: jbrookscga78

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?
Originally posted by jbrookscga78

Other than a few training buddies, and a few friends from church, my friends are folks that I have ocean raced with, or done offshore passages with. When you spend 4-6 days together on a small yacht (going 24/7) in all weathers, you really get to know each other. And you can pick up on conversations 12 months later. I enjoy socializing after triathlons, runs etc., but there just isn't the time to develop real friendships at the events. Not that folks are unfriendly by any means. For younger guys especially, stay with an active crowd - much of the population gets pretty sedentary by age 30 (if not before). Tri-clubs might be a good bet.


This made me think of Benjamin Franklin's quote about many people dying at the age of 25 and not being buried until they're 70.

Well it seems like everyone has different stories, but for the most part the answer is to compartmentalize friends. I suppose this makes sense with such different interests bouncing around. It seems a little lonely though to just have swimming buddies, work buddies or drinking buddies, rather than just friends.

There are two Tri Clubs in my city and I'm going to one this weekend to check out their master's swim and see what they're all about. Thanks for all of your input!
2013-12-03 9:28 PM
in reply to: #4907276

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?
Joining a trip club is a great idea. While I am around 20 years older than you and mostly settled down, I have moved a lot in my younger years and joined hockey leagues in each town. Each time I met friends...who then met their friends...and it goes from there. I'm sure the same goes with tri clubs. BTW these hockey teams have age ranges from 26 to 55.
2013-12-03 10:39 PM
in reply to: MarkPalm

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?
I just turned 30, but pretty much all my friends aren't endurance athletes and think most of what I do is crazy/stupid. There's a couple guys I'll occasionally ride with but that's it. I actually prefer it that way. Not that I wouldn't be interested if some of my friends got involved, but I like that training is time to myself. Sometimes you just need a 5 hour ride to clear your head
2013-12-04 9:34 AM
in reply to: 0

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?
Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly

I'm a lot older, but after getting divorced and moving back to Philly after 20 years it was tough. I joined a running club, and later a tri club. I would say 80% of my social life now revolves around those friends I've met through sports. Most of my old friends are wrapped up in their families and business, and aren't into the same things I am. I'll catch up every now and then, but now I have a new circle of people to have fun with. Still go for a beer pretty frequently, but instead of staying up late we get up early and go biking or running.




Not counting the moving, this describes me pretty well as it happened to me earlier this year, in the process of joining a tri club even.

Edited by smithe68 2013-12-04 9:34 AM
2013-12-04 10:22 AM
in reply to: smithe68

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?

College friends for me, just a few that I keep in regular contact with. I had a lot of female friends in college and that goes over like a lead balloon once people start getting married and such.

I started cycling with a local crew last summer, fun group of people and there are organized rides 3 times a week so plenty of time to get familiar. 



2013-12-04 10:33 AM
in reply to: MarkPalm

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Subject: RE: Who are your closest friends?
Who are my closest friends?

My enemies.....
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