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2013-12-06 12:14 AM

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Subject: Sign of the apocolypse?

Three times in the last few days I have heard on the news about parents, mostly mothers, advocating that their sons text them a picture of themselves with their impending (I don't know what other word to use) sex partner in order to ward off claims of rape.  Is this as weird as I think it is?

I can tell you by way of disclosure that I have probably participated in the investigation of 200-300 rape reports......and I figure I can count the false claims on one hand. (that doesn't mean we can always prove it in court) Truthfully, just believe what the woman says and you'll be right almost always.  If she's not telling the truth it becomes REALLY clear pretty quickly....if it doesn't, go back to my first statement....she's not lying.

So, with that being said, is this something you would advise your son to do?  Are we that messed up? 

I'm just curious to hear what others think. 

ETA  - before anyone jumps to conclusions, I find this completely offensive and teach my own son to not even get himself into a situation where anyone might even remotely conclude that it could be rape because of alcohol incapacitation, etc.  And, this has come up in the news coverage of the Florida State football QB accused of rape by a woman he had sex with.



Edited by Left Brain 2013-12-06 12:34 AM


2013-12-06 4:28 AM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Sign of the apocolypse?
Originally posted by Left Brain

Three times in the last few days I have heard on the news about parents, mostly mothers, advocating that their sons text them a picture of themselves with their impending (I don't know what other word to use) sex partner in order to ward off claims of rape.  Is this as weird as I think it is?

I can tell you by way of disclosure that I have probably participated in the investigation of 200-300 rape reports......and I figure I can count the false claims on one hand. (that doesn't mean we can always prove it in court) Truthfully, just believe what the woman says and you'll be right almost always.  If she's not telling the truth it becomes REALLY clear pretty quickly....if it doesn't, go back to my first statement....she's not lying.

So, with that being said, is this something you would advise your son to do?  Are we that messed up? 

I'm just curious to hear what others think. 

ETA  - before anyone jumps to conclusions, I find this completely offensive and teach my own son to not even get himself into a situation where anyone might even remotely conclude that it could be rape because of alcohol incapacitation, etc.  And, this has come up in the news coverage of the Florida State football QB accused of rape by a woman he had sex with.




I hadn't heard about this - it's just ludicrous.
2013-12-06 5:24 AM
in reply to: jobaxas

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Deep in the Heart of Texas
Silver member
Subject: RE: Sign of the apocolypse?

It's early, but I don't even see how the "I texted by Mom pics" rape defense even works.

2013-12-06 6:33 AM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Master
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Paradise aka Englewood
Subject: RE: Sign of the apocolypse?

Raise your sons with the same morals and expectations as you would your daughters. Respect, kindness, thoughtfulness, right, wrong and love are not gender specific traits. If you are asking them to text you a picture of their partner for safety sake, then as my then 4 year old daughter told my 3 times divorced FIL, "I think you are doing it wrong".

2013-12-06 7:02 AM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Expert
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Detroit, MI. Kinda.
Subject: RE: Sign of the apocolypse?
I'm not sure, but maybe I can use this to get a consent to film my every encounter. "It's not porn, sweetie...my mom says it's for legal purposes..."
2013-12-06 10:36 AM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Extreme Veteran
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Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Subject: RE: Sign of the apocolypse?
All I know is that as a father of two teenage girls I am not looking forward to the next few years. My wife and I do our best to teach the girls what is right, I just hope that the parents of their potential dates are doing the same thing.

Also, I don't see how texting a photo would make any difference in a rape investigation.


2013-12-06 11:17 AM
in reply to: 0

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Champion
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PA
Subject: RE: Sign of the apocolypse?

"No, seriously, it's for my mom.  Trust me."

"Oh, well OK then... I thought this was going to get weird for a second."

Oh if I had a nickle for every time that conversation played out.



Edited by Pector55 2013-12-06 11:17 AM
2013-12-06 11:31 AM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Champion
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Brooklyn, NY
Subject: RE: Sign of the apocolypse?
Originally posted by Left Brain

Three times in the last few days I have heard on the news about parents, mostly mothers, advocating that their sons text them a picture of themselves with their impending (I don't know what other word to use) sex partner in order to ward off claims of rape.  Is this as weird as I think it is?

I can tell you by way of disclosure that I have probably participated in the investigation of 200-300 rape reports......and I figure I can count the false claims on one hand. (that doesn't mean we can always prove it in court) Truthfully, just believe what the woman says and you'll be right almost always.  If she's not telling the truth it becomes REALLY clear pretty quickly....if it doesn't, go back to my first statement....she's not lying.

So, with that being said, is this something you would advise your son to do?  Are we that messed up? 

I'm just curious to hear what others think. 

ETA  - before anyone jumps to conclusions, I find this completely offensive and teach my own son to not even get himself into a situation where anyone might even remotely conclude that it could be rape because of alcohol incapacitation, etc.  And, this has come up in the news coverage of the Florida State football QB accused of rape by a woman he had sex with.




Have you heard of the "Don't be that girl" campaign in Canada?
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/07/10/dont-be-that-girl-posters-e...
2013-12-06 1:07 PM
in reply to: rick4657

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Pro
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Subject: RE: Sign of the apocolypse?

Originally posted by rick4657 All I know is that as a father of two teenage girls I am not looking forward to the next few years. My wife and I do our best to teach the girls what is right, I just hope that the parents of their potential dates are doing the same thing. Also, I don't see how texting a photo would make any difference in a rape investigation.

Well, here's the deal.  In the overwhelming majority of reported rapes, the male says that it was consensual sex.  Forcible rapes are much easier to investigate and even prove because there is usually quite a bit of physical evidence and the male is left with nothing to do but deny he committed the crime. It's really hard to claim it was consensual when there are injuries, etc.  I can get convictions pretty easily when all I have to really prove is that there was sex when a denial is involved and I have DNA and other physical evidence..

However, it becomes really dicey when the male suspect is interviewed and he says, "yeah, we had sex, it was consensual".  In a lot of these cases alcohol or other drugs are involved, there are no injuries, and nobody is claiming it didn't happen.  Essentially, we're left to prove a negative.  It's hard. Like I said, it's almost never the case that the woman is lying, but it's very hard to prove.  Taking that into account, now the suspect introduces a video or picture of a smiling couple before the act and it becomes maybe the most compelling piece of evidence lacking any other.  I can come up with all kinds of ways for that to be abused, but it's still a real problem for the prosecution, again, lacking any other evidence.

I think it's a horrible message to send to a son, and any advocates of that type of documentation are really thinking wrongheaded about it. 

2013-12-06 1:15 PM
in reply to: Left Brain

Iron Donkey
38593
500050005000500050005000500020001000500252525
, Wisconsin
Subject: RE: Sign of the apocolypse?

Mother do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Mother do you think they'll like this song?
Mother do you think I'll have to send a selfie of me and my date?
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Mother should I build the wall?

2013-12-06 1:15 PM
in reply to: jmk-brooklyn

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Subject: RE: Sign of the apocolypse?

Originally posted by jmk-brooklyn
Originally posted by Left Brain

Three times in the last few days I have heard on the news about parents, mostly mothers, advocating that their sons text them a picture of themselves with their impending (I don't know what other word to use) sex partner in order to ward off claims of rape.  Is this as weird as I think it is?

I can tell you by way of disclosure that I have probably participated in the investigation of 200-300 rape reports......and I figure I can count the false claims on one hand. (that doesn't mean we can always prove it in court) Truthfully, just believe what the woman says and you'll be right almost always.  If she's not telling the truth it becomes REALLY clear pretty quickly....if it doesn't, go back to my first statement....she's not lying.

So, with that being said, is this something you would advise your son to do?  Are we that messed up? 

I'm just curious to hear what others think. 

ETA  - before anyone jumps to conclusions, I find this completely offensive and teach my own son to not even get himself into a situation where anyone might even remotely conclude that it could be rape because of alcohol incapacitation, etc.  And, this has come up in the news coverage of the Florida State football QB accused of rape by a woman he had sex with.

Have you heard of the "Don't be that girl" campaign in Canada? http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/07/10/dont-be-that-girl-posters-e...

Wow.....no, I hadn't heard of that....but it's pretty disturbing to me.  I sit in the room with the victims......it's got nothing to do with regret.



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