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2006-08-01 1:38 PM

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Subject: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!

I and many others have noted my unusally foul mood lately.  I suppose it's time to come clean with my BT family.  It's a little hard to actually discuss because it has been a source of embarassment and shame for me to discuss with the triathlon community both here and at my local club level.  But since it's (hopefully) in the past good, here goes....

As of 9 days ago, I quit smoking!  A triathlete who smokes?  Yup, that was me.  Last year I decided that I was not going to use smoking as an excuse to sit idly by and watch other people do something I really wished I could do.  So I took up tirathlons as a distorted way of fighting back at the unhealthy lifestyle I had built for myself.  I hoped back then that the healthy training lifestyle would begin to crowd out the unhealthy smoking lifestyle.  Either way, I was determined to run triathlons...which I have done.

Finally the day came where I had to decide that if I wanted to take my training to the next level, the cigs had to go.  9 days ago, I chose my training, and my life.  For those of you who have battled some form of addiction, you know how difficult and mentally/emotionally draining it can be.  I've been moody as he!!; often irritable and a little down.  I'm sure some of that has been evident in my writing here, and for that I offer my apologies.

I feel liberated as I no longer have to hide my habit from my friends and the community that I have grown close to, especially here locally.  But more so for how I feel inside.  I have felt like smoking was the one thing that ostracized me from the rest of you, now I feel like I belong now more than ever.  I wish I was so noble as to state, "I quit because of my family or becuase of the risks of smoking"  But the truth is, I quit because I want more than ever to go further and further with my triathlon training.  Today when I have an urge, I close my eyes and envision the finish line of the November 12 HIM here in Miami that I so desperately want to accomplish.  That thought gives me the inspiration to light up a certs or a stick of Dentyne.  It is because triathlon is my inspiration that I have decided to come clean with my BT family here.

As for smoking, I have no regrets.  Smoking served it's purpose in my life for the time it was here and for that I am grateful.  It was an integral part of my journey here.  However, it is time for me to enter a new chapter in my life where I no longer need that habit for whatever reason I needed it in the first place.  Many many times I never thought I could do this, but then again, many times I never thought I could complete a sprint.  But I did, and I will continue to do so.  Thanks for being here guys and gals...this sport means more to me than many of you may have previously known.



2006-08-01 1:44 PM
in reply to: #499637

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Runner
Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!
Well, as someone who gave up smoking back in January, I can relate.

If it makes ya feel better, I was a pack+ / day for a good number of years, tried quitting about.....14 times before finally being successful. I think it was more a combo of starting to run regularly again, the ADD meds, and the patch.

Congrats, btw.
2006-08-01 1:48 PM
in reply to: #499637

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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!

WEAK AND LAME!!!

Just kidding. Congrats on kicking the habit. It's hard to do, but worth it on so many levels. I suppose you're a little fiesty and independent like me, and it was depressing to think of myself as addicted to something since I saw that as a major weakness. It's nice to be liberated from that and know you're stronger than it, in addition to the many other positive health and odor-related effects.

You should have said something. I would have been slightly less bitchy to you.



Edited by kimj81 2006-08-01 1:49 PM
2006-08-01 1:48 PM
in reply to: #499637

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Crystal Lake, IL
Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!

"for those of you....."

Dude, if you're part of this site it's pretty much a lock that you are already battling an addiction!  At least this one is good for you (except for the whole interfering with work thing).

Just make sure that you write an entertaining RR for the HIM in November. =)

 

2006-08-01 1:51 PM
in reply to: #499644

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Master
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!
Congrats!!! I myself, quit in November of last year so I know how you feel! It's funny, but tri training didn't push the smoking out of my life like I had thought it would -- it only made me have to hide while smoking more often. That's when I decided to quit.

It's very hard to look at someone with a straight face, take a drag on a cigarette and tell them that you do triathlons!
2006-08-01 1:56 PM
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!
Congrats Mac! Thanks for "airing" your secret so that we can be appropriately proud. Rock on.


2006-08-01 2:11 PM
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!
Congratulations. My dad died at 60 because of his addiction to smoking.

It doesn't matter why you quit. Only that you quit.

I completely understand addictions though. I am completely addicted to food. I'm winning the battle but it isn't easy. It is powerful though to realize you are in control of your addiction rather than the other way around.

I hate feeling out of control. I hated that more than being fat.

Once again, good for you! We all have our dirty little secrets....
2006-08-01 2:11 PM
in reply to: #499637

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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!
Congradulations on making the decision to quit and making it 9 days!!!! I myself also quit in January and I know how the moods can effect a person. I think that everyone that has ever attempted to quit smoking can definitly support you on your efforts. It is a huge step that you shoud be proud of and share with everyone you know. Not only are you a triathlete, you are also one of those who have overcome the challange of quitting smoking. You may have hid your habit, but now it is time to celebrate you victory over it.
2006-08-01 2:18 PM
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2006-08-01 2:37 PM
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Master
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!

unusally foul mood lately

Dude, I thought you just weren't gettin any. Congrats on your accomplishment!! If you even think about lighting up again, let me know. I'll come down there and give you a kick in the a$$ with some golf cleats (metal). Then we can get in some training together.

Keep up the great work.

2006-08-01 2:43 PM
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!
great job..Now your training will pick up because you can!


2006-08-01 2:47 PM
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!

Wow, Keep it up and think of all the extra money you will have to spend on Tri gear. 

Great job and thanks for sharing your dirty little secret.

 

2006-08-01 5:41 PM
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Champion
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!

Take it one day at a time.  When the urge hits, get out and walk/run.  Brush your teeth.  Do pushups...

Cold Turkey 1 June 2002.



Edited by BellinghamSpence 2006-08-01 5:41 PM
2006-08-01 5:41 PM
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Elite
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!
2 yrs and 4 months. Hang in there my man and you will beat the demon. You're still an Ahole but now a much healthier one. Don't give in.  If you feel like you've just got to have one then just go for a run.

Edited by gullahcracker 2006-08-01 5:42 PM
2006-08-01 5:55 PM
in reply to: #499637

Elite
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!
Good job.  You're allowed to be as cranky as you need to be.
2006-08-01 6:12 PM
in reply to: #499637

Master
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Portland, ME
Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!
It sounds like you've mentally committed that habit to the past which is a huge step.

Congrats on your decision and with willpower like that you are going to kill that HIM.



2006-08-01 6:31 PM
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!

gullahcracker - 2006-08-01 6:41 PM 2 You're still an Ahole but now a much healthier one.

Nah, Russ isn't Jonesing.  We just haven't figured out for what..... 

Seriously, that's fantastic news....if you can, look at it as paying yourself forward in quality of life, health, and fun.  That's what's going on...

And your T1 and T2 times should really drop without having to spark up AND put out the butt.  So there's an upside there, too.

2006-08-01 8:23 PM
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!

WTG Mac.  Giving up the death sticks is one of the toughest things I've ever done.  It's been 21 years and 6 months now, and I justify every dime I spend on triathlon by figuring it's way less expensive than smoking, in terms of my financial and physical health.

Hang in there, you're entitled to be ina foul mood for as long as it takes!

 

2006-08-02 8:02 AM
in reply to: #499637

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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!

CONGRATS! 

Cold turkey August 1, 2000...

then my dumb-a$$ self lit back up again in the fall of 2003 and have been at it on & off until 30 days ago...

cold turkey again July 3, 2006 for the same reason as yours: to improve my training.

You will not believe the improvement in your training/performance/endurance, but the best part is justifying spending more $$$ on tri gear and registration fees what you have already stated: no more having hiding yourself out of embarassment. The past year my wife and kids never knew I was still smoking, and it tore me up inside hiding my weakness from them and living a lie in shame. No more.

So CONGRATS, and know you have support here if ever you need it - PM me if you ever get the urge!

You are an inspiration to other closet smokers here to kick it for good!

 

2006-08-02 8:50 AM
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!

As an ex-smoker myself, I cannot understand the "hiding" the smoking. You cannot hide it. While they may not actually SEE you smoking, they'll still smell it on you. And only smokers can say that, "I don't stink after I smoke." It's because your smell is messed up from the smoking...... You do, too, stink like smoke. Yes, even if you do it outside, and are upwind of the smoke..... I tried all the excuses, too.... So quit lying to yourself. Been there, done that.

Congrats on the quitting!! I've been smoke-free since Dec 11, 2004, and thanks to tri-ing, I've stayed quit. Prior to being bitten by the tri bug, I used to start up every time my DH would deploy and quit when he came home, but no longer.



Edited by benton4 2006-08-02 8:50 AM
2006-08-02 9:45 AM
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2006-08-02 9:46 AM
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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!

Zilla - 2006-08-02 10:45 AM I hope you will still be a little bit of an a-hole....  it's what makes you so damn attractive to me!   Congrats Starfish ...... good show!

If only I lived in 'zona.

2006-08-02 12:25 PM
in reply to: #499637

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Subject: RE: The Mac's dirty secret.....GULP!

Good on you mate,

I started smoking in about 1980 (back when my High School had a smoking block...can you believe that!) I smoked fairly heavily in college and thereafter, a pack-and-a-half a day. I was living a construction-worker, barfly, bohemian lifestyle.

Chasing a job I moved away from the "big city" and away from the shows, bars, and urban hanging-out. I brought my MTB with me (I used it to commute when I lived in town)

I raced my first MTB race in 1992 and smoked on the way home from it (I was not DFL, which was my only goal at the time). It became appearent that ,like you said, this new hobby was incompatable with my old habits. I lived a couple of very conflicted years and smoking became less appealing, and more of a pain-in-the-.

I first quit in 1994, soon after taking up running. Those were my salad days. I back-slid in 1999 and hid my on-again-off-again smoking (poorly) until 2002. Ironically, sneaking a smoke in a non-smoking room in the New Orleans Marriott marked the point when triathlon appeared on the horizon as "the furtherest thing from what I'm doing right now" and the bug bit me...gently at first. I'm now smoke-free since March 2002. It's a tough thing to do, but absolutely worth it.

Addiction is a mean bastard, but I think I can take him, and so can you.

My best advice is to never let down your guard. A single cigarette in an unguarded moment can set you down the path again. The cravings and the creepy-crawlies get better over time. Sadly, though I still recall cigarettes with a certain fondness. In that fondness lies the seed of relapse. I know this and have to fight it from time to time.

Good luck

 

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