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2013-12-29 8:37 AM
in reply to: dodgersmom

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Elite
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Subject: RE: What happened to the simple Thank You?

Always interesting how threads progress...

In response to the OP about "thank you's". I agree with others, if it really bothers you - stop sending gifts. Or send them a card only..maybe send those under 21 a gift? (Although, I don't have a problem sending adults presents.) I don't necessarily expect a thank you, but I just like to know that the package was received.

I think it's one of those times that you ask yourself why you are sending the gifts. If it's because you enjoy doing it..then keep doing it! If it's because you feel you "have" to...rethink that! Maybe start paring back gradually? If you have a budget in mind for each person...decrease that!

Maybe they don't thank you because they don't feel you need to send them gifts?!?!



2013-12-29 9:56 AM
in reply to: lkct01234

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Resident Curmudgeon
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Subject: RE: What happened to the simple Thank You?

Next year send them each a box of high-quality "Thank You" cards as their presents.

2013-12-29 11:47 AM
in reply to: the bear

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Elite
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Subject: RE: What happened to the simple Thank You?
Originally posted by the bear

Next year send them each a box of high-quality "Thank You" cards as their presents.




Yes.
With self-addressed stamped envelopes included.
2013-12-30 10:00 AM
in reply to: dodgersmom

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Champion
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Dallas, TX
Subject: RE: What happened to the simple Thank You?

Originally posted by dodgersmom A bit of a rant here.Isn't just me, or has the simple lack of appreciation or gratitude gone by the wayside? We send gifts to family on the east coast. 2 nephews (30 and 17). 2 nieces (32 and 28) and nephews baby (1.5). Is it too much to expect a simple thank you? We talked to all families. 1 side gathered on Christmas eve to open gifts. We talked to them for almost an hour and not one word of thanks except for my FIL who did thank us. Nothing from the nieces or nephew.On the other side, IMd with my brother yesterday and he told me that nephew loved the UA sweatshirt we sent. Well, nephew has his own iPhone, laptop, and tablet. But he could not find an outlet to say thanks himself? These are not babies we are talking about. They are all adults. I am not asking or expecting written thank you notes, but a mention on a call, a text or even an IM on Facebook would be sufficient. Just something to let me now you received the gift.I'm sure if we stopped sending them, that would get some attention. Maybe I was raised in a different time and my expectations are too high. But some sort of appreciation would be, well, appreciated.Is it just me?. Sorry for the run on paragraph. Guess BT still does. It like iPads.

At the very least they should send a text or email saying thank you. It's not that hard. 

 

2013-12-30 10:17 AM
in reply to: japarker24

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Subject: RE: What happened to the simple Thank You?
It's always other people's kids who are the bad ones. As in `While blah blah blah's kids were over there being selfish, my angel was over here being angelic.' But I'm not a parent so, to me, all kids are bad ones. And I don't get to have an opinion. NOW GET OFF MY LAWN!
2013-12-30 12:19 PM
in reply to: mr2tony

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Pittsburgh, PA
Subject: RE: What happened to the simple Thank You?
I agree that while they should send thank-you notes, or emails, or whatever, they probably won't. If they're adults and it doesn't bring you a lot of joy to give them presents, I'd stop giving them.
On the other hand- for basic common courtesy, like helping to pass out refreshments or clean up, or thanking a friend's dad for lunch- I think it's up to us to remind teenagers what they should be doing. We can try to speak lightly, and non-judgementally, but we can say "i'd like you to xxx." Teenagers probably won't react well but they will think about it later, and we (as adults) have to be OK with the initial eye-roll and scoff.


2013-12-30 1:00 PM
in reply to: chayes

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Subject: RE: What happened to the simple Thank You?

Originally posted by chayes I agree that while they should send thank-you notes, or emails, or whatever, they probably won't. If they're adults and it doesn't bring you a lot of joy to give them presents, I'd stop giving them. On the other hand- for basic common courtesy, like helping to pass out refreshments or clean up, or thanking a friend's dad for lunch- I think it's up to us to remind teenagers what they should be doing. We can try to speak lightly, and non-judgementally, but we can say "i'd like you to xxx." Teenagers probably won't react well but they will think about it later, and we (as adults) have to be OK with the initial eye-roll and scoff.

HAHAHAHA!!! .................. No. 

In our home we don't tolerate our kids being disrespectful.....and never have.  A funny thing happened, now that they are teenagers and becoming young adults, it's almost never an issue.  Go figure.

 

2013-12-30 1:12 PM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Omaha, NE
Subject: RE: What happened to the simple Thank You?

Originally posted by Left Brain

Originally posted by chayes I agree that while they should send thank-you notes, or emails, or whatever, they probably won't. If they're adults and it doesn't bring you a lot of joy to give them presents, I'd stop giving them. On the other hand- for basic common courtesy, like helping to pass out refreshments or clean up, or thanking a friend's dad for lunch- I think it's up to us to remind teenagers what they should be doing. We can try to speak lightly, and non-judgementally, but we can say "i'd like you to xxx." Teenagers probably won't react well but they will think about it later, and we (as adults) have to be OK with the initial eye-roll and scoff.

HAHAHAHA!!! .................. No. 

In our home we don't tolerate our kids being disrespectful.....and never have.  A funny thing happened, now that they are teenagers and becoming young adults, it's almost never an issue.  Go figure.

 

Ditto, I can think of several occasions where our kids forget to thank somebody or say please and we would correct them on the spot and tell them to say please/thank you.

2013-12-30 1:17 PM
in reply to: dodgersmom

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, Florida
Subject: RE: What happened to the simple Thank You?
Originally posted by dodgersmom

A bit of a rant here.Isn't just me, or has the simple lack of appreciation or gratitude gone by the wayside? We send gifts to family on the east coast. 2 nephews (30 and 17). 2 nieces (32 and 28) and nephews baby (1.5). Is it too much to expect a simple thank you? We talked to all families. 1 side gathered on Christmas eve to open gifts. We talked to them for almost an hour and not one word of thanks except for my FIL who did thank us. Nothing from the nieces or nephew.On the other side, IMd with my brother yesterday and he told me that nephew loved the UA sweatshirt we sent. Well, nephew has his own iPhone, laptop, and tablet. But he could not find an outlet to say thanks himself? These are not babies we are talking about. They are all adults. I am not asking or expecting written thank you notes, but a mention on a call, a text or even an IM on Facebook would be sufficient. Just something to let me now you received the gift.I'm sure if we stopped sending them, that would get some attention. Maybe I was raised in a different time and my expectations are too high. But some sort of appreciation would be, well, appreciated.Is it just me?. Sorry for the run on paragraph. Guess BT still does. It like iPads.
I have to agree with you, it is disheartening when people I've sent gifts or money in cards, etc don't even TEXT a thank you. I mean, texting is pretty easy. It isn't just you--I too find it rude if someone doesn't even acknowledge the receipt of a gift.
2013-12-30 2:10 PM
in reply to: SGirl

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Subject: RE: What happened to the simple Thank You?

then don't send them gifts.

2013-12-30 4:27 PM
in reply to: dodgersmom

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Subject: RE: What happened to the simple Thank You?
Raising Children With an Attitude of Gratitude
Research Finds Real Benefits for Kids Who Say 'Thank You'

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303773704579270...


Everyday actions may be even more important than big efforts, researchers say. "Express gratitude to your spouse. Thank your kids," Hofstra's Dr. Froh says. "Parents say, 'Why should I thank them for doing something they should do, like clean their room?' By reinforcing this, kids will internalize the idea, and do it on their own."


2013-12-30 4:42 PM
in reply to: mr2tony

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Omaha, NE
Subject: RE: What happened to the simple Thank You?

Originally posted by mr2tony Raising Children With an Attitude of Gratitude Research Finds Real Benefits for Kids Who Say 'Thank You' http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303773704579270... Everyday actions may be even more important than big efforts, researchers say. "Express gratitude to your spouse. Thank your kids," Hofstra's Dr. Froh says. "Parents say, 'Why should I thank them for doing something they should do, like clean their room?' By reinforcing this, kids will internalize the idea, and do it on their own."

You sure you don't have kids out there somewhere?  

Kid's don't do what you tell them to do, they do what YOU do.  The best way to parent is to be a good model for them.  Everything from how you treat your significant other to how you react to stress.  They're little sponges.

My wife and I have always told our kids "I love you" multiple times a day and made it a point to always say it when we would leave.  It's funny to see their friends react when they tell us "I love you" as they're walking out the door, or at work.  It's very obvious that we're in the minority and most kids rarely, if ever hear it.

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