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2014-03-03 11:27 AM

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Subject: Funniest things your kids have said

My Geezerettes are all grown but there were many entertaining things they've said.  Here are two of my favorites from when they were old enough to intend to be funny.

I have three daughters.  The daughters were discussing whether I should be counted as a "guy".  My youngest, maybe 13 at the time, said, "Daddy is like a guy, only smaller."

When the daughters were college age, my middle daughter had bunch of college roommates in for a long weekend in the summer.  Janice was taking care of the dog, speaking to her, taking her out, feeding and so on.  One of the friends said, "I've never seen a pet whose needs were anticipated and met like Holly's."  Middle Geezerette said without a blink, "Now, you know what it was like to be her daughter."

Got any?

 

TW



2014-03-03 12:17 PM
in reply to: tech_geezer

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said

When my son was around 5 he was very much into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 
A bedtime ritual at that time was to lay down with the kids for a bit to discuss days events etc. before falling asleep.

This particular night (around Easter) he was asking a lot of question about the crucifixion of Jesus.
I tried to answer to the best of my knowledge (not religious) and he seemed satisfied with my info, however there was a
long pause while he pondered what I had said..... and then his comment.

Too bad Jesus didn't know karate. 

2014-03-03 12:27 PM
in reply to: tech_geezer

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said
My son was about 8 at the time.

We were on a guided mountain bike tour going from Idaho around to the Gran Tetons in WY.

At one campsite me, another dad, and our kids are sitting by the campfire staring at the fire.

All of a sudden I here a Homer Simpson voice coming from my son. He said," I love the sweet smell of beeeer." I was hoping no one else heard this.
Of course they all did and were busting up laughing. I had never given my son beer, nor did we watch the Simpsons.

It was quite funny, though.
2014-03-03 12:33 PM
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Subject: ...
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Edited by Teejaay 2014-03-03 12:34 PM
2014-03-03 12:51 PM
in reply to: Teejaay

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said

Originally posted by Teejaay

So so many when my daughter was little .. but she still has some gems .... last year, when she was 16, she started a job as a hostess at a posh local eatery. It was her 2nd day and they told her to prepare for a big group of about 25 that comes in once a month for their monthly meeting.

They arrive .. she seats them. Takes their beverage orders. After she gave them their drinks she asked what their group was .. they replied the Jaguar Club .. she then says .. "All of you have jaguars? I didn't know it was legal to own one as a pet"

Luckily she has a great sense of humor .. they never let her live that one down at work!

Your daughter has had many and will have many more gems, I am sure.

TW

2014-03-03 2:31 PM
in reply to: tech_geezer

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said


When my daughter was 2 and a half we went to a "homecoming parade" for Nastia Lukin (sp) the 2008 Olympic Gold medalist. She trained and lived in a town close to us.

So we go out and are waiting on the parade to start. There are a ton of people around and J has a water bottle. She got the top off but couldn't figure out what to do with the plastic top. So she tries to set it down but drops both the cap and the bottle and it spills. Without missing a beat she say "G*d Dammmit".

Of course, at that exactly 2 seconds before that moment, it seems that everyone in the crowd was done with their conversations and it was almost dead silent. My wife and I just stared horrifically at each other.



2014-03-03 3:00 PM
in reply to: bradleyd3

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said

I was changing the little guy I was a nanny for-- I don't remember his exact age.  I got his diaper off and was dealing with the dirty one before putting on the clean one.  He announces: "I am going to play with my penis now."  I told him, trying soooooo hard not to burst out laughing, that was fine, as it was his body, but it is something that is done in private, so I would step out and he could let me know when he was done.  I had to work pretty hard at composing myself before going back in the room.

2014-03-03 4:16 PM
in reply to: bcraht

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said
Can I have a car?

2014-03-03 4:44 PM
in reply to: tech_geezer

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said

My sister Natalie is witty, talkative and pretty freaking hilarious.

We're all hanging around at Thanksgiving, with my 2.5 year old niece. We're talking, joking, having fun...

Niece turns to Natalie: "Aunt Natalie, you talk too much!"

I say it to her allll the time now!

2014-03-03 4:58 PM
in reply to: ratherbeswimming

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said
When my youngest daughter was around 8 years old we were at a particularly frigid HS football game. In the middle of the third quarter she screamed on the top of her lungs "I'm Cold, I'm Tired and I want to go home!" Everyone in the section that we were sitting in started laughing.
2014-03-04 11:35 AM
in reply to: #4958585

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said
It was my first triathlon back in 2009 and hubby and two daughters were along. Older daughter was 9. She was looking around, checking out everyone setting up their transitions. Finally she leans in close to me and says "Mom, I see a few people I think you could beat!"
Same daughter 4 years later at another triathlon observing the athletes setting up transition. This time she leans in and says "Omg...I just saw a guy with an 8 pack!" Funny how what she was interested in looking at changed!


2014-03-04 12:07 PM
in reply to: ingleshteechur

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said
My son is 2 1/2 and we're in mid potty training mode. He got way too many gifts for Xmas from everyone so we took some and put them high on a shelf in a closet and figured we'd save them for potty training. We tell him if he tells us he has to go and then goes, he gets a prize (Matchbox car or action figure, nothing big) so the other day I went to the bathroom and when I came out he took my hand, led me to the closet and said "Dadda, pick out your prize. Good job on the potty." I got a new ninja turtle
2014-03-04 12:41 PM
in reply to: tech_geezer

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said

"Grampa, why do you have two chins?"   (age 5)

2014-03-04 1:54 PM
in reply to: tech_geezer

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said

My stepfather was on his third marriage (there is some suspicion that it was actually #4) and was in our kitchen telling us that it was over. My 5 year old at the time wandered in and said "Pop-Pops, I think you're doing it wrong." Then she wandered off to watch TV. It was all I could do to keep a straight face. 

2014-03-04 2:14 PM
in reply to: jonD81

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said

Originally posted by jonD81 My son is 2 1/2 and we're in mid potty training mode. He got way too many gifts for Xmas from everyone so we took some and put them high on a shelf in a closet and figured we'd save them for potty training. We tell him if he tells us he has to go and then goes, he gets a prize (Matchbox car or action figure, nothing big) so the other day I went to the bathroom and when I came out he took my hand, led me to the closet and said "Dadda, pick out your prize. Good job on the potty." I got a new ninja turtle

We have a winner!

 

TW

2014-03-04 5:10 PM
in reply to: tech_geezer

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said

We were out getting a Christmas tree at a local tree farm on a cold, snowy, day.  I think the older boys were about 7 and 4, although they could have been 6 and 3 instead...(I can't recall if we were expecting or had almost 1-year-old twins).

First exchange:  The 4-year old (A) saw the hot chocolate in the warming shed and was ready for hot chocolate...no patience for this tree-harvesting nonsense.  It went something like this:
A:  "I want hot chocolate."
M(om):  "We'll get hot chocolate AFTER we find the tree we want." 
A:  (pointing to the nearest tree as we're riding by on the tractor wagon)  "Let's get that one!" 

Second exchange:  We'd disembarked from the wagon and have assessed a few trees.  (A) is still ready for hot chocolate.  His older brother (E) is campaigning for a tree that he can touch the top of, but their mother wants a big tree.  We find one that meets mom's criteria and I crawl under it and start cutting.  (E) is a little upset at being "overruled." 
E:  "But I wanted one I could touch the top of!" 
(About that time, I finished cutting through the tree and it plops over onto it's side.)
A (without missing a beat):  "Now you can touch the top of it (E)." 

That was about 20 years ago.   



2014-03-04 8:56 PM
in reply to: tech_geezer


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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said
Out for breakfast and getting ready to leave. My son, 3 at the time says hey there's grandma. Looking around I ask him what he's talking about. He points and says there's a picture of grandma. I ask him to show me and he picks up s dollar bill, here it's grandma. So apparently we are related to Washington. Two triathlon ones.... Now age 4 sitting at the dinner table. Hey dad how was your day, you run? No not today. You ride your bike? No not today. You swim? No. Well maybe we should get out there and remedy that!, what do you think. We give each other thumbs up a lot. Watching Kona with him I explained what the race was. Early in the coverage they show a guy under water giving the camera thumbs up. He starts jumping up and yelling, you did it you made it to Kona. He still tells people I raced there this year. I guess the pressures on now.
2014-03-05 6:13 AM
in reply to: ingleshteechur

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said
My 2 year old daughter to my wife when my wife was changing into a swim suit, "Mom, where's your penis"? I couldn't stop laughing.
2014-03-05 8:29 AM
in reply to: Iowaman

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said
I was checking out at WALMART with my daughter who must have been 2 or 3. She excited yells out "DADDY LOOK, THERE IS A MAN WITH A BABY IN HIS TUMMY!" pointing to a man with a large beer belly waiting a few spots away from us.
2014-03-05 10:42 AM
in reply to: tech_geezer

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said
One for each of our kids...

When our son was 3 (now 11) I was getting him ready for school and I told him to get his coat on. He looked at me as said "Is it going to be F***'n cold today?" I calmly, yet very stern told him that that word was naughty and that under no circumstances is he to ever to say that again. He started to cry because he got scolded and when I gave him a hug to calm him down I started to laugh.

When riding in the car with my wife, our daughter (age 5) routinely yells "Get out of the way, people!"
2014-03-05 10:58 AM
in reply to: Iowaman

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said

Originally posted by Iowaman My 2 year old daughter to my wife when my wife was changing into a swim suit, "Mom, where's your penis"? I couldn't stop laughing.

My one son caught my wife coming out of the shower and said "So I know that when girls are born, their penises get cut off.  But I don't understand why anyone would want to cut off a penis."

My six year old is building a diorama about panda bears for school. Last night I took him to the library to get a book on pandas.  He carried it up to the front desk, handed it over, and said in such a loud voice "I need this book for my diarrhea!"



2014-03-05 11:33 AM
in reply to: BigN321

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said

Originally posted by BigN321 One for each of our kids... When our son was 3 (now 11) I was getting him ready for school and I told him to get his coat on. He looked at me as said "Is it going to be F***'n cold today?" I calmly, yet very stern told him that that word was naughty and that under no circumstances is he to ever to say that again. He started to cry because he got scolded and when I gave him a hug to calm him down I started to laugh. When riding in the car with my wife, our daughter (age 5) routinely yells "Get out of the way, people!"

We had a similar experience...pulling into the mall parking lot, and the car in front of us slows waaayyy down.  We hear a squeeky voice out of the back seat with perfect timing and intonation:  "Come on people...MOVE IT!"  It was one of the youngest boys, and he was probably less than 2 at the time. 

 

2014-03-05 1:56 PM
in reply to: McFuzz

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said
When our kids were young my wife dedicated a spiral notebook just to write down the funny things the kids did and said. You think you will never forget but you will. Kids are grown now but a few months back we were at Outback with the kids and my wife brought the notebook. We read some of the great lines out of the book and we got to laughing so hard/loud I was afraid they were gonna throw us out of the place.

A couple that come to mind....

I showed Nick an empty turtle shell I found in the wood and he said "Boy, I bet he is glad to be out of there!"

Jamie: Daddy, I'm donating blood.
Me: How much?
Jamie: Oh it doesn't cost nuttin', you just have to show your driver's license.

2014-03-05 3:41 PM
in reply to: TriJedi

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said

Originally posted by TriJedi I was checking out at WALMART with my daughter who must have been 2 or 3. She excited yells out "DADDY LOOK, THERE IS A MAN WITH A BABY IN HIS TUMMY!" pointing to a man with a large beer belly waiting a few spots away from us.

OUCH! 

2014-03-06 12:48 PM
in reply to: tech_geezer

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Subject: RE: Funniest things your kids have said
When my daughter was between three and four years old, one night she did not eat her dinner. When it was time for bed she decided that she was hungry and wanted to eat. I told her that she did not eat at dinner so she was just going to have to wait until morning and put her to bed hungry.

Right around three AM I awoke to my daughter standing by my side of the bed, gently tapping me on the shoulder. "Daddy. Daddy. I'm stirving like a crazy pig." She was so darn cute that instead of putting her back in bed hungry I got out of bed and fed her a bowl of Cheerios.

Eight years later whenever someone is really hungry in our house, they are "stirving like a crazy pig."
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