NewTAN's Third Law of Motion (Page 52)

Do you like antique planes for woodworking?  I am thinking about selling out my collection and putting it towards a new plasma cutter and/or a new TIG welder.

I saw some similar to mine sell for $150-$400 a piece at an auction, and was amazed.  I could buy a lot if all of mine brought those prices.

I have quite a few antique planes that belonged to my grandfather and my father, but I have been buying some new Lie-Nielsens.  The Lie-Nielsen's are more accurately made.  The soles are flatter and the sides are perpendicular.  Many of my old planes were resurrected from junk by my grandfather.  He was a machinist and liked fixing old things up.

What do you have?

TW 

A Stanley # 46 skew plane with multiple knives is probably the one worth the most and have been offered $250.00 for it.  Probably should have sold it then, but didn't trust the person with a check and they wouldn't allow me to keep the plane until the check had cleared.

A lot of others that are made for making trim pieces and cove moldings, etc..  I probably have 30 different planes that I will never use, and probably need to be in a museum for wood working tools.  Nothing is new and as exact tolerances as the new one will be.

My toy radar seems to be broken.

With recent attacks on my local river path, maybe a 9mm is a good choice. 

Maybe turf soccer shoes? I like my cleats, but with the hard ground here, they don't do much...

New topic:  Role of relative status in successful relationships

By relative status, I mean dating or marrying up or down socially.  I dated and married way up and was aware of it even at the time.  In high school when we met, JWKMH was smart, rich, and good looking.  I was none of those things. I was astounded that she wanted to go out with me. She was also really nice.  Then as now, everybody likes Janice.   I think that  realizing how good I had it was a strong motivator to do what I needed to do to keep the relationship together.  

What is your view on dating/marrying up or down?  Which way works best?  It isn't ever equal.

TW 

In my experience, dating down (in terms of $ earned, education... and maybe not looks-wise physically, but fitness wise) has led to nothing but terrible things to me.

Every time, that has turned from "wow, she's a catch!" to "wow, i'm incredibly insecure!". Also, men seem to initially love how independent I am... and at some point that turns into a point of contention. 

I'm trying to date up, but I can't find someone willing to date down for me

When you are pretty close to the top, it is really hard to date up.  I think that is more likely your problem.  

TW

I guess I married up - or so I'm told almost by everyone who meets her... I think they mostly go by looks though.  BUT I personally think the gap is smaller than most people give me credit for.  We definitely compliment each other and cover for each other's weaknesses at the same time, seem to be on the same page on most life issues...  So I think it's a good thing. 

OK so obviously you are smart - based on your chosen field and experience.  Rich isn't something J accomplished (at least not at HS age), she was born into.  Good looking, you are probably right there.  But really, I bet you aren't as mismatched as you think you are.

My husband and I are pretty damn equal.  Similar careers, similar good looking-ness, similar social personalities.  We also met MUCH later in life.  In HS I was an idiot with dating.  I met mr. meh when I was 26 or 27?  At that point in my life - dating down was not an option (sorry if that sounds stuck up, but I had worked hard to get where I was and wanted to enjoy life) and dating up was...I don't know?  I never really had the opportunity but based on my personality I bet I wouldn't have liked it - I would have seen it as a challenge to my self-worth (completely on me, but still a factor).  As a matter of fact, my last relationship before mr. meh was seriously dating down, and I ALWAYS knew it wouldn't last long term.  It was fun at first, and then got old.  I don't know why you think it can't be equal?  That's what I looked for and that is what I got with my husband, and it's worked out really nice.  I'm very lucky with my relationship.

If you asked me, I'd say I married up. If you ask my wife, I'd hope she would also say the same thing. I have known my wife since I was 17 and she was 15 and we started dating at when I was a freshman in college. I think we hold an equal view of each other, but we show it differently. I really do not care if anyone thinks she settled for me or if I married up, all I know is that we are perfect for each other and we balance each other craziness out.

***On a side note, we finally got moved into our new house last week and we love it! It is already starting to feel like home!

Ha.  I am not dumb but I am dumber than the rest of my family.  They are an exceedingly bright bunch.  For proof, I would have to tell some embarrassing and painful stories so I won't do that.  J had a head start in life but she has not wasted her opportunities.  Trust me on the marrying up assessment.  It is true and it works for us.

On your question of equality, you can be close to equal certainly but there are always differences that have an effect on relationships.  That no two people are alike is all I am saying.

I am just as interested in what you think in general not just your personal experience on the topic of differences in income, social status, education, and looks.  I get the insecurity issue from the lower status person that RBS mentioned.  I think that is a huge obstacle.  There may be a tolerable level of difference versus just too far apart.

It is an interesting question looking back on a lot of relationships that I know about.  

TW 

Congratulations on the move.  After we learned how little our house was worth in the current market in Oak Ridge, we decided not to put it on the market yet.  I am still working very hard on renovations.  I am enjoying the work and we need to be ready if market improves.  I will post some pictures of the pantry cabinet I am building in an album when I am a little further along.

I agree with your point that it is unhealthy if one person thinks they are superior to their spouse.   I have seen some really sad marriages like that.

Interesting conversation on dating up/down. I've done both.

Dating down, at least financially, was hard for me as I didn't want to come off as uppity or nonchalant about money. But dating someone who had no financial stability was very hard for me. Partly because I'm attracted to people who are successful in life (which, coincidentally, usually means they make money) - but partly because you just live in two different worlds. Things as simple as where to go to dinner can be financially stressful to someone making "just out of college" salary, let alone bigger things like where to go on vacation together.

Was dating up, financially, until just recently. Since we both make "established adult" livings, I don't think it ever came into play for either of us. He just made like 4x as much as me and could do things like purchase a vehicle on his debit card. 

Reading back over these last posts made me realize I have no experience on the financial side of this question either way. When I was dating my wife we were so young that "we" really had nothing. Our parents were certainly in different wealth brackets, but that really did not come into play because we never had any money in college anyways, and quite frankly I am thankful I found someone to put up with me because I do not think I would do very well in the "dating scene" these days. Sounds rough

Your comment about two different worlds made me think of Tom Branson on Downton Abbey.  There is a cultural acceptance by the rest of the partner's world that enters into long term relationships even when the couple themselves have no issue with the differences.

Despite your recent ex's financial situation, he was definitely dating up.  I am sorry he did not see the advantage of that.  

TW

There's an understatement

I spent about 3 years in a relationship where I out-earned him, but his parents were significantly more wealthy than mine. Made for an interesting dynamic. Was nice when his parents visited though - ate at all of the fancy restaurants that I could afford, but would never choose to eat at because they are so darn expensive

My wife had all of her teeth and her car had 4 pretty decent tires.  I think I did good.

Right? 

And I didn't even mention the mule.

It only gets better, doesn't it?

TW

That is a pretty cool change to this thread.

I think I married up, and I think she would probably say that she married up.  We are different people and have many different interests, but also have some of the same interests. I think my wife is amazing and made a huge decision at just over 41 to change career paths and become a nurse.  She became an RN and recently decided to get her BSN, and now we are planning on her getting her masters to become a Nurse Practitioner.

You may not have married up but you may be getting passed.  

The career change and education is very cool.  I was a non-traditional (nice word for old) grad student.  Being a student was a really good experience.

TW 

I was talking about her mother.

Dang it, I'm neither rich nor good looking. Does that mean I'll always be 2nd rate?

It just means you're the one that gets to date up