Career Change Advice??

My sister is a PT. She ended up with over $100k in student debt and she makes $55k a year or so. She works with kids so makes less than some PT's, but PT is not a get rich quick kind of career. May be worth looking at typical pay in your area or NJ before committing to student debt.

The other thing that stood out to me in your post is the moving to be closer to family thing. I don't want to sound too negative, but living close to family is not always a good thing. My wife and I often regret not moving away from our families (we are within 40 miles of both sides). In-laws are generally a pain in the rear for most people, moving closer to both sets of in-laws may not be great for either of you. 

Sounds like kind of a big ask on your wife's part to ask you to drop your career and move to a place you don't want to live so she can be closer to her family (your in-laws). My wife and I have talked about picking up and moving, but it would not happen unless both of us were happy with the situation. "It will work out, and people do it all the time" is not finding a workable solution for both parties. 

First and foremost I think that you need to keep the focus on your family (as in you and your wife) above all else and the secret to that is communication.  If you just move and end up with a career that you don't like or if you guys come into some financial hardship as part of the move (just examples) then it can put a terminal strain on your marriage with a lot of potential bitterness.

You may already be communicating with her, but make sure she knows exactly how you're feeling and what your reservations are.  Often times we as men tie a lot of our self worth into our careers, so if you have that pulled away from you it can be a tough pill to swallow.  You've worked very hard to get where you are, and I don't feel it's right for your wife to discount that and essentially force a career change.

In my family we have moved two times for my career and both times my wife was totally on board with me.  She didn't have an established career yet, so it was a little easier, but we still talked in great detail about it and agreed to it.  So, if things did go south, then there was no person to blame because we both agreed that it was the best decision at the time.

If I were in your shoes I would try to explain how much you enjoy your job and that you would be willing to move, but only if you were able to find a job in law enforcement.  It sounds like it's easier for her to get a job than you, so hopefully you can both work towards a common goal with something like you looking for a job in NJ full time and when you find a job then you can make the move and she'll start looking in her career field.

My wife and I have had several discussions even recently because she hates the winters here in Nebraska and wants to move south to Texas or somewhere like that.  However, I don't want to leave here because we have very deep roots with a lot of friends and I also own a business here that can't exactly just move.  We have come to an agreement that this is our home and perhaps down the road when we retire we can do a winter home down south or something along those lines, so she has something to look forward to and we both kind of win.

These things do have a way of working themselves out, but they can work out both positive and negative.  Get on the same page, and the odds of it working out towards the positive are much greater.  
Good luck and I'm sure you guys will figure out something good.  

Seems like all the rational explanations aren't convincing her and you're both just talking at each other without hearing what the other really needs.  Not a judgment of your relationship; just an observation that you and she seem to have reached an impasse.  If you feel like you're making a huge sacrifice for her, the potential for resentment down the road can be pretty high.  Even though it's not helpful to think in terms of "I did x for you, now I want you to do y for me," it's really easy to feel that way when you're just doing something to avoid a fight, especially when that something is as big as giving up a career and moving to a new community.

Maybe instead of pointing out all the reasons why you want to and think the two of you should stay where you are, you could ask your wife why she wants to move back to NJ.  When I say that, I mean ask her with genuine curiosity about what she thinks will be better if she was closer to her family.  It may be that she's missing something that she could actually find where you are but she doesn't realize that. 

Not sure if you're open to this but a few sessions with a couples counselor who can be an objective third party could help you and her make a decision that will satisfy both of you.  If you opt to go that route, as someone with training in that field, I highly suggest you find someone who is a licensed marriage and family therapist or who specializes in couples counseling.  There's a different approach when working with couples that not all therapists understand.  Ask around for a few recommendations (or if you don't feel comfortable doing that, PM me and I'll see what info I can dig up for you) and do a couple of interviews to find somebody that both you and your wife feel comfortable with.  Lots of people see a couples counselor for just a few sessions sessions and that's all they need to figure out the solution to their issue.  It doesn't mean the marriage is in trouble, just that a different perspective can be really helpful.

Good luck!!

You seem to be getting good advice here.  Let me throw out one other idea.  Can you start applying for jobs in Law Enforecement in NJ now.  Why wait until she finds something.  Then if you get something before her, you could just make the jump.  The longer you wait the harder it will be.  Seems like resistance if futile.  Another thing to consider is do you want to start a family?  This goes both ways.  1.  It is nice to have family around when starting a family.  2.  Will your wife still work if you have kids?  If the answer to the second question is no, then moving because she wants a different job is kind of dumb.