General Discussion Triathlon Talk » My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic) Rss Feed  
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2006-08-19 7:08 PM

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Pro
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Subject: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
So, the short version is my GENERAL is not happy.

Here's the long version...
I'm a boxer guy. I don't like the feeling of briefs. And as some of you guys can relate, when you run in boxers or even briefs, the GENERAL does not like getting slapped or rubbed the wrong way. Ever since HS track, I wore one of those tight compression type shorts similar to jammers and that held my GENERAL in place. Problem solved.

Now leading to the problem...
When I wear tri or bike shorts or jammers, my GENERAL prefers the left. However, when I bike, my left leg moves the GENERAL up and down along the bike shorts causing friction (which is not the real problem). I tried chamois butter, vaseline, blister shield. It helps with the friction, but doesn't solve the problem.

Now here's the serious problem...
As the GENERAL moves up and down, he wants to salute and let me tell you, you would think he would be happy, but during a tri when you are trying to concentrate and the fact that there's friction, he is NOT happy at all. Even if my SO satisfies the GENERAL before the ride, it still happens.

What to do? Is my shorts too tight or too large?

PLEASE help my GENERAL.


2006-08-19 7:23 PM
in reply to: #516416

Master
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Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
I think you're lucky this didn't go in COJ.

But I've no advice for you sorry.
2006-08-19 7:30 PM
in reply to: #516416

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COURT JESTER
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Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)

Have you tried Duct Taping the General ??    Hunched over a bike and getting a one eyed salute...and possibly a poke in the stomach... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Well, have you put the general on the right side?  He doesn't have to like being there, just needs to learn "ya can't always get your own way."  Maybe that'll teach a lesson.

Otherwise, I'm of absolutely ZERO HELP!!

However, you've been a big help in providing a big good laugh.

2006-08-19 7:36 PM
in reply to: #516420

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Pro
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Los Angeles, CA
Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
I can see why it would go into COJ but I'm really serious about my question and it is tri-related. I tried to make it a bit funny so it wouldn't be banned but maybe I didn't do a good job at it.

jknapman - 2006-08-19 5:23 PM

I think you're lucky this didn't go in COJ.
2006-08-19 7:39 PM
in reply to: #516423

Master
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Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)

auto208562 - 2006-08-19 8:36 PM  but maybe I didn't do a good job at it.

Nah, I think you're safe.

2006-08-19 7:53 PM
in reply to: #516423

Subject: ...
This user's post has been ignored.


2006-08-19 8:55 PM
in reply to: #516420

Member
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, Tokyo
Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)

Can someone help me out with COJ? 

Thanks!

2006-08-19 9:08 PM
in reply to: #516450

Regular
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Opelika, AL
Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
aokirk - 2006-08-19 8:55 PM

Can someone help me out with COJ?

Thanks!



I'm assumming (I know...I know) that COJ is a short version for Cup of Joe or the topic heading My Cup of Joe in the forums?

Sethro Out
2006-08-19 9:10 PM
in reply to: #516416

Expert
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Seattle WA
Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
not sure what advice i can offer... but very funny post. i hope someboyd can help out your general!
2006-08-19 9:35 PM
in reply to: #516416

Master
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Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)

Stop following race booty so close.

You are normal as in expensive suits, you know the one that cost more then your tri bike, the tailor make alterations to the left side so the general don't show as much. 

A slight offset of the nose of the seat to the right may give him room.  Less friction. I have heard this done by some serious bike pros. 

Maybe you need to lets some pressures out of the General the tires ahead of time.

 

2006-08-19 9:46 PM
in reply to: #516416

Extreme Veteran
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Worcester, MA
Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)

Ok, first things first, the obligatory comments:

1. Do NOT tell the SO if and when you solve the problem, I'd just keep her in the dark on that one.

2. Some would say just "Enjoy the ride"

Ok, serious part now.

1. Is this a new occurance? If so, waht changed? Bike, Shorts, etc. Can you try to go for a ride in just regular bike shorts or under armour and see what happens.

2. Change your riding position - seat height, angle, diections. I know sometimes the General needs a specific battle plan, so a change might distract him a bit.

3. Do you have any other problems with that area? I know that until I got my new bike seat the Colonels would often fall asleep, so maybe it's a different issue.

I would tell you not to complain, but I know it probably isn't the most comfortable.  Just make sure that when you get off the bike, you aren't near any children.



2006-08-20 1:24 AM
in reply to: #516416

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Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)

This post is classic. Don't want to laugh at your pain but thank you for the laugh none-the-less.

1) I hope you can resolve the problem

2) Agreed. Absolutely do not let your SO know when you have solved the problem

3) My boys were major unhappy until I switched out my seat. I took off the tri seat and am riding a five pound cushioned recliner of comfort. Sure I gained a few oz. but big deal. Happy boys = happy rider. Don't know if it would help but wanted to, at least, attempt a suggestion.



2006-08-20 4:17 AM
in reply to: #516416

Extreme Veteran
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Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)

Perhaps you could take TUPUPPY's signature line on board...

 "CELEBRATE SMALL VICTORIES IN PURSUIT OF A GOAL"  

2006-08-20 9:31 AM
in reply to: #516416

Pro
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Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)

auto208562 - 2006-08-19 7:08 PM However, when I bike, my left leg moves the GENERAL up and down along the bike shorts causing friction (which is not the real problem). I tried chamois butter, vaseline, blister shield. It helps with the friction, but doesn't solve the problem.

 Maybe you shouldn't spend 10 minutes applying the vaseline.

 

I got nothin' here.  I've had it happen, but never for long enough during a race that it caused any sort of chafing issues.  Of course it usually only happens when I'm on my gf's wheel and she pulls me while we're riding.  Okay, I'm going to stop typing now because every sentence I'm typing sounds really dirty.

2006-08-20 9:36 AM
in reply to: #516416

Extreme Veteran
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Worcester, MA
Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
This from the wife. - Try wicking underwear - something like under armour underwear or even the suggestion of a Jock Strap, not that I'd want to wear one.
2006-08-20 9:59 AM
in reply to: #516416

Veteran
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peoria, az
Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
My husband read your post and wanted to let you know that it happened to him. He recommends shifting your seat to the Left a few milimeters with the nose down a smidge and he had good results with pointing his General to the North prior to starting the bike. When his General was heading South- Southeast or Southwest, he had Major problems (increased sensitivity, arousal, some numbness in the teabag area). Could there be a problem with your distance from the handlebars/cowhorn/aero bars, resulting in too much pressure in that area? 


2006-08-20 3:08 PM
in reply to: #516610

Queen BTich
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Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)

twolives1 - 2006-08-20 9:59 AM 
in the teabag area

This thread is freakin' hilarious! If it wasn't for the chafing it wouldn't be that much of a problem.

My suggestion is to stop looking at the ladies while you ride.

I hope you can fix the problem, I think Puppy's advice of pointing him to the right seems good.

2006-08-20 10:59 PM
in reply to: #516416

Pro
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Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
To answer some questions above, I did change saddles after my 1/2 in March. I had one with a cutout. That saddle was causing some discomfort for my two Colonels and perennial area so I changed to the ISM adamo. That solved that problem.

I took a short break and started ramping up my duration and frequency to get ready for Silverman and everything was fine for a while.

Nothing else has changed. I didn't do anything with the position but I'll tell you, that I didn't have this problem until after my 1/2 so maybe it's related to the saddle, mileage, or wear down on the tri shorts???

Update on today's ride placing the GENERAL on the right:
I rode 56 miles and I had to stop around 11 times. It doesn't matter for him if he's on the left or right or center, he started saluting at around mile 20. From there on, I can't ride more than 5 or so miles because at salute, he won't un-salute because of the constant rubbing and there's no way I can ride with such discomfort. I have to stop and get off and then he un-salutes.

I'll try some of the other suggestions later on in the week.

Thanks everyone for helping my GENERAL.
2006-08-21 9:33 AM
in reply to: #517046

Member
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Wausau, Wisconsin
Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
auto208562 - 2006-08-20 10:59 PM

I have to stop and get off and then he un-salutes.


Better choose your words carefully as the above sounds kind of bad.
2006-08-21 9:47 AM
in reply to: #517299

Giver
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Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
Have you tried, uh, courtmarshalling the General right before you ride?
2006-08-21 9:52 AM
in reply to: #516416

Master
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Tiger's Den
Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
I've got nothing for you. But this is hysterical. Now I'm gonna be looking at all the dudes out there that are riding!!!



2006-08-21 10:15 AM
in reply to: #516416

Extreme Veteran
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Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
Dude, try tighter shorts. Ain't nothing around the General that should should be moving on the bike. No left or right but a new position will need to be adopted on the bike...up and out of the way. A little weird I know but up is the right answer for the bike.
2006-08-21 12:13 PM
in reply to: #516416

Member
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Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
Ride harder?....nope already doing that....
Ride longer?....doing that too....
Stiffer bike?....naah
Maybe too MUCH lube in the shorts?

Sorry - it's just irresistable. Sort of wish I had the problem at 45...Honestly, I'd say just ride - at least in races everyone is so into their own issues I doubt anyone will notice. Now if the problem continues on the run, all bets off. On the swim, assuming no wetsuit, you'll get a "rudder effect" which is probably a plus...
2006-08-21 12:23 PM
in reply to: #516416

Extreme Veteran
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Worcester, MA
Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)
BTW, I actually never reall put two and two together that the GENERAL actually IS Happy. It's just TOO happy and makes you unhappy. 
2006-08-21 1:49 PM
in reply to: #516416

Expert
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St. Louis
Subject: RE: My GENERAL is not happy (guy, tri related so not COJ but tad graphic)

"Margaret Thatcher naken on a cold nite. Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold night." ~Mr. Powers.

 I assume your GENERAL is long tall enough that you could just tie him around your waist, like a race belt. Problem solved!

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