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2016-02-11 3:36 PM
in reply to: rrrunner

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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed
Originally posted by rrrunner

I was thinking about this conversation yesterday as I was DREADING my hill repeats.  I used a couple of the methods mentioned here: a) suck it up and get going and b) give myself the option to bail. But I didn't bail. Once I was going I just kept telling myself "only 5 more, only 4 more..."

 

I got an email from Coach Scott yesterday inviting me to Hot Yoga for endurance athletes. It's this Sunday from 1600-1715. I accepted the invitation. I've never done Hot Yoga before. Could be interesting. Especially with Scott and his crew.  I'm surprised he scheduled that late afternoon on Valentines day, but that's his problem to figure out




Nice work!!



2016-02-11 3:49 PM
in reply to: Jet Black

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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed
Originally posted by Jet Black

Originally posted by brigby1

Originally posted by marysia83
Originally posted by mtnbikerchk
Originally posted by IronOx What are you going to do on race day when the going gets tough?  To me, the mental aspect of IM is the most difficult part.  You WILL want to quit.  I guarantee it.  Finding a way to ignore that voice and carry on is the key.  
^This.
Guys, you scare me with your Ironman posts... I know I still have about five years, but it does not seem easy-breezy at all

With where you're at, no, it wouldn't be easy. To do well and enjoy the experience it can take some time to simply learn how to manage a larger training load. It's both your body adapting and you learning about yourself. That's what some people miss when jumping in really fast. Being a 1 and done type with it is fine, but for longer term it tends to work better to stay more within yourself. Push at times, but careful of fantastical leaps.




This is very true. I wanted to knock out an IM my first year in tri. Could I have done it? Sure, but it would have been a much worse experience I'm sure. Based on my ability to handle increased training load, it takes time.

Just as TJ mentioned, I thought I was doing a lot last summer/early fall. My body was having a hard time with it. Well I'm probably doing 1.5-2x as much now and my body is responding better than it did last year.

Slow progressive loading works!! Don't rush it.


^^^reason number 1 I want to first taste Oly and then HIM
Also, with me being so enthusiastic with even tiny little progress (like 100 meter swim...), it would take all the fun away from me. (you should've seen my happiness when I finally managed my very first mile after running for a week...)
2016-02-11 3:53 PM
in reply to: marysia83

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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

Originally posted by marysia83
Originally posted by Jet Black
Originally posted by brigby1

Originally posted by marysia83
Originally posted by mtnbikerchk
Originally posted by IronOx What are you going to do on race day when the going gets tough?  To me, the mental aspect of IM is the most difficult part.  You WILL want to quit.  I guarantee it.  Finding a way to ignore that voice and carry on is the key.  
^This.
Guys, you scare me with your Ironman posts... I know I still have about five years, but it does not seem easy-breezy at all

With where you're at, no, it wouldn't be easy. To do well and enjoy the experience it can take some time to simply learn how to manage a larger training load. It's both your body adapting and you learning about yourself. That's what some people miss when jumping in really fast. Being a 1 and done type with it is fine, but for longer term it tends to work better to stay more within yourself. Push at times, but careful of fantastical leaps.

This is very true. I wanted to knock out an IM my first year in tri. Could I have done it? Sure, but it would have been a much worse experience I'm sure. Based on my ability to handle increased training load, it takes time. Just as TJ mentioned, I thought I was doing a lot last summer/early fall. My body was having a hard time with it. Well I'm probably doing 1.5-2x as much now and my body is responding better than it did last year. Slow progressive loading works!! Don't rush it.
^^^reason number 1 I want to first taste Oly and then HIM Also, with me being so enthusiastic with even tiny little progress (like 100 meter swim...), it would take all the fun away from me. (you should've seen my happiness when I finally managed my very first mile after running for a week...)

It's great that you take the time to enjoy and to celebrate the milestones!!

2016-02-11 5:09 PM
in reply to: rrrunner

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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

Originally posted by rrrunner

Originally posted by brigby1

Originally posted by marysia83
Originally posted by Asalzwed

Originally posted by mcmanusclan5

Originally posted by jmkizer

Originally posted by Lighttower Could you name a few healthy fats? I have a real difficulty with this issue.

Olive oil

Avacado

Coconut oil

Fatty fish like salmon, herring, sardines

Nuts

So, ummmmmm, would Reese's cups count?  Maybe not - just Snickers? 

As for chunking and the like - love it.  The Better Half often says, "Run the mile you're in."  Shorthand for similar thinking and bears directly on race mentality - during a race or a hard (mentally or physically) workout.

It's not every workout where this happens, thankfully, and many are expressly the "run easy" types (of the "run lots, mostly easy, sometimes hard" plan).  However, when you have to suck it up, you have to suck it up, and thinking small is something I find VERY helpful in getting through the big stuff.

Note - DO NOT suck it up to the point of injury.    Bad idea (speaking from experience). 

Matt

Matt, I don't think I got to say welcome back yet, so WELCOME BACK! It's great to "see" ya.

I too like the idea of "chunking." It allows you to focus on one thing at a time, much like goals in life. If you think about the thing as a whole it seems impossible! Breaking it up into smaller manageable chunks is the way to go.

In fact, I was just thinking about this when talking about the track racing I have done. People often say, "Ohhh wow, 8 laps (or 12, 16 etc etc) on the track! Doesn't that get boring???" But in my experience it's quite the opposite! Sometimes my small goal is to hit a certain pace at the lap, so say 88 seconds. I run the lap and look at the clock. Maybe I hit 92 seconds, maybe I hit 87! But you know what is cool? I get to go try it again and hopefully make the adjustment if needed. Then again, and again. Making small adjustments. Then you get a win, you hit it right on! Or maybe it's not time based and it's form. You can say, "I want to make it through this entire lap without tensing up my shoulders."  The possibilities are endless and it's not just mindless time passing but proactively getting better at running, mile by mile, lap by lap, step by step.

 

AS people have mentioned, most important is that the overall goal still makes sense and you are still excited about it. If that's not the case then you might want to consider a different goal. And that's okay! I came to find that triathlon was not one of those things I was excited about so I switched my focus to running. 

If it's not an issue with the goal it's likely just the way you are going about it. Everyone is different but at the core you do need to enjoy what you are doing. Try and identify how to do that and you will be successful. 

 

This is what I like about this group: heyy, we have fun!! And in addition to that, we also swim, bike, and run. Fun and joy is part of this sport.

In Adrienne's post I kept seeing "goals" as "goats" and it still makes sense.

That's funny! I had to go back and read it with "goats".

Did the same and ended up laughing at work reading it again.  Awesome Ben - thanks!

And hey right back at ya' Salty!  <waving>

Matt

2016-02-11 7:57 PM
in reply to: 0

Master
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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

Originally posted by amd723

Originally posted by brigby1

Originally posted by Jet Black
Originally posted by amd723

Originally posted by jmkizer

Originally posted by Hot Runner *Once you've spiced up the workouts, do what I call "chunking" when I work with kids. Don't think about getting through the whole workout, just that particular repeat, then the set. For example, today I had a workout with 200's, 150's and 100's. It was a pretty long workout, and I wasn't feeling that great. (Not sick, just cramps and maybe some cumulative fatigue, plus water was colder than I like and I was feeling a bit uncomfortable.) I would have quit if I thought, "Okay, I'm going to go swim 3300m." Instead, I thought, "Now I'm going to swim 200m easy. Now I'm going to swim 200m medium. 200m medium hard, 200m hard." It's much easier to focus on doing a good job on one repeat than contemplating a whole workout. I

Awesome post Karen!  I really like your explanation of "chunking."  I call that getting to the next water stop because that's how I ride things like BikeMS and Cycle NC -- just worry about the 20-30 miles until the next stop, repeat.  In fact, I do that when I run all of the time.  I get a few miles in and then start doing math.  I'm a quarter of the way, a third of the way, etc.  Let's see, half of 14 is 7 and half of 7 is 3.5.  Hey!  I'm already more than a quarter of the way done!  Woo hoo!

I do this too.  Thinking about a long workout or race can be intimidating, breaking things down into smaller, bite-sized pieces really can help.  In races like HMs I generally  think just get to mile 5, then 6.5, then 8 etc.  I even tell myself i just have to get to mile 12 cuz anyone can run 1 mile  

You even break up a run into multiple different runs as seen on strava!!

I should count therapy work as strength training, then log everything there to give you some competition.

I remember my shoulder PT, it is definitely a work out and should count!!

It adds up to near 10 hours a week of just the PT. Sessions twice a day, every day. In some ways it'd be nice to see credit for something there, but I'd be logging what seems like 400 workouts a week!



Edited by brigby1 2016-02-12 5:58 AM
2016-02-12 12:58 AM
in reply to: 0

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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed
I was finishing a trainer ride when this popped up randomly as the next video. Only watched the first 12 minutes or so but it was quite nice:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYR3pNUPP6A#t=723.088553193

There is also an original video posted by the cyclist without the motivational quotes, if you find them annoying. It should pop up as a related video.

Here's what I was watching for the rest of the time--the biker's cafe and beer stop at the end is great (What on earth is he doing with those dots on his bike?), but they go through a few too many tunnels. Many more fun videos from this group; the alpine and TDF ones are the best.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSrlIL4Ov2s

These work for me for all but the hardest workouts--for easy stuff (up to about 80% of FTP) I can follow a movie, TED talk, or the like, but beyond that, scenery and music is about it. There are even a few videos online of someone taking an FTP test on the road--you can just stare at someone else suffering while watching a countdown clock!


Edited by Hot Runner 2016-02-12 1:03 AM


2016-02-12 6:57 AM
in reply to: marysia83

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Melon Presser
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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

Originally posted by marysia83
Originally posted by mtnbikerchk
Originally posted by IronOx What are you going to do on race day when the going gets tough?  To me, the mental aspect of IM is the most difficult part.  You WILL want to quit.  I guarantee it.  Finding a way to ignore that voice and carry on is the key.  
^This.
Guys, you scare me with your Ironman posts... I know I still have about five years, but it does not seem easy-breezy at all

If it makes you feel any better, I've totally gone mental so that aspect of IM doesn't bother me at all

Not everyone wants to quit--I've actually found quite a few people who really enjoyed their IMs all the way through. However, without fail (even for first-timers) those were people who had a pacing plan which actually included going UNDER pace ... really taking it at low intensity the whole way.

Just an interesting nugget.

That said, yes, the majority hit a really hard part--some call it a dark place, some call it The Wall--where either physically and/or mentally they just feel like stopping.

2016-02-12 7:18 AM
in reply to: Asalzwed

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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed
Dunno about some of the stuff in that podcast. I ran a 2:43 marathon at age 19 and would be thrilled to do a 3:43 now. It would take a full-on run focus and more luck than I usually have to see 3:20-3:30 again, even now at 46. The guy's claiming I can do 2:43 when I'm 64????

I'll agree that running's pretty natural and a lot of people overthink it. But most modern humans, especially in the developed world, have not grown up like the Tarahumara and unless you have, very lean and active from running around barefoot and living a physically demanding life on a subsistence diet since childhood, running around barefoot, especially on cement, is probably not the brightest idea.

Have read both his books and while they're interesting and thought-provoking (love this quote from the first one, "Running is what we had before we had sex."!), they're very thin on substantive research and just seem to justify the fad of the hour (barefoot running, low carb diets).
2016-02-12 7:41 AM
in reply to: Hot Runner

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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

Hiya Manatees and GO MANATEE RACERS and HEAL UP, DLers!

Been super swamped lately. HUGE THANKS for all the visits and well-wishes (heeeey Stace Face even showed up in person with a HUGE present!) Have also had a root canal which was a re-treatment to begin with that now looks like it'll need to be re-done a third time. It's really complicated and really effed up and I'm going on nearly 6 months with pus still coming out of my gum.

I should seriously have a new house by now ...

And each time it gets *really* bad I get physically sick, too. So, body ain't workin' too good right now, but, actually, I'm really happy. Maybe serene and grateful is a better way to put it.

Sad, I was gonna do a 50K road time trial (perhaps on a new bike ... oooooooh) this Sunday. Even if miraculously I'm feeling better and the infection clears up, Kingsley would divorce me if I raced.

2016-02-12 8:57 AM
in reply to: IndoIronYanti

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Falls Church, Virginia
Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed
Originally posted by IndoIronYanti

Hiya Manatees and GO MANATEE RACERS and HEAL UP, DLers!

Been super swamped lately. HUGE THANKS for all the visits and well-wishes (heeeey Stace Face even showed up in person with a HUGE present!) Have also had a root canal which was a re-treatment to begin with that now looks like it'll need to be re-done a third time. It's really complicated and really effed up and I'm going on nearly 6 months with pus still coming out of my gum.

I should seriously have a new house by now ...

And each time it gets *really* bad I get physically sick, too. So, body ain't workin' too good right now, but, actually, I'm really happy. Maybe serene and grateful is a better way to put it.

Sad, I was gonna do a 50K road time trial (perhaps on a new bike ... oooooooh) this Sunday. Even if miraculously I'm feeling better and the infection clears up, Kingsley would divorce me if I raced.




Yanti, I'm so sorry about your tooth! Dental issues are the absolute worst, and to have stuff piled on top is no good. Healing hugs to you and all the other DLers!
2016-02-12 8:58 AM
in reply to: Atlantia

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Falls Church, Virginia
Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed
Quick swim update: As of December 2015 I had a PR 100 yard swim of 1:46. I made the goal of getting that down to 1:35 by the end of 2016. This morning I swam a 1:46.5. Baby steps, but still nice to see that hard work pays off!


2016-02-12 9:14 AM
in reply to: Atlantia

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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

Originally posted by Atlantia Quick swim update: As of December 2015 I had a PR 100 yard swim of 1:46. I made the goal of getting that down to 1:35 by the end of 2016. This morning I swam a 1:46.5. Baby steps, but still nice to see that hard work pays off!

So much swimming goodness in the Pod lately! Congratulations!

2016-02-12 9:18 AM
in reply to: IndoIronYanti

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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

Racing Manatees!!!

February 13-14
Ann-Marie - Run 4 Love 4 miler on Saturday
Ann-Marie - Flatwoods Ramble 10 miler on Sunday
Tom A  - IMS Arizona Half Marathon on Sunday
Adrienne - Vertfest  on Sunday?

Disabled List
Mary S - post-concussion syndrome
Ben - clavical.  out of sling prison
Steve - Surgery 1/20 followed by 8 weeks of recovery before SBR can restart.  Recover week 3 is done!
Yanti - dental woes

Adam - Glad that the LASIK went well!
Good thoughts for Darren's boy, Fin!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2016-02-12 9:43 AM
in reply to: jmkizer

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Rio Rancho, NM
Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

Originally posted by jmkizer

Racing Manatees!!!

February 13-14
Ann-Marie - Run 4 Love 4 miler on Saturday
Ann-Marie - Flatwoods Ramble 10 miler on Sunday
Tom A  - IMS Arizona Half Marathon on Sunday
Adrienne - Vertfest  on Sunday?

Disabled List
Mary S - post-concussion syndrome
Ben - clavical.  out of sling prison
Steve - Surgery 1/20 followed by 8 weeks of recovery before SBR can restart.  Recover week 3 is done!
Yanti - dental woes

Adam - Glad that the LASIK went well!
Good thoughts for Darren's boy, Fin!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I think Hands and Salty are holding up the racing list so the DL doesn't look so disproportional!!!!!!!

Go Hands!!

Go Hands!! (again)

Go Tom!!

Go Salty!!

Heal up Manatees, and Mini-tees!!!

 

2016-02-12 9:51 AM
in reply to: cdban66

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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

I went to the chiropractor yesterday. It was already scheduled for my monthly tune-up but I'd had a stiff neck since my crash so I was looking forward to it.

So I get in there and he knows about the crash because he follows me on Strava (and vice versa, he ran 19 miles this morning!). He got me all set up and proceeded to tell me I was all a mess.  I knew I needed some adjustments but figured he'd work on the knee too. Nope, once he made the back adjustments he said the legs looked great. So I'm all set for another 100 miles.

2016-02-12 10:20 AM
in reply to: jmkizer

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Master
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Orlando
Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

Originally posted by jmkizer

Racing Manatees!!!

February 13-14
Ann-Marie - Run 4 Love 4 miler on Saturday
Ann-Marie - Flatwoods Ramble 10 miler on Sunday
Tom A  - IMS Arizona Half Marathon on Sunday
Adrienne - Vertfest  on Sunday?

Disabled List
Mary S - post-concussion syndrome
Ben - clavical.  out of sling prison
Steve - Surgery 1/20 followed by 8 weeks of recovery before SBR can restart.  Recover week 3 is done!
Yanti - dental woes

Adam - Glad that the LASIK went well!
Good thoughts for Darren's boy, Fin!

Happy Valentine's Day!

GO SALTY, GO TOM, GO ME!

Keep healing DLers!

Darren, sending good thoughts for Fin! 



2016-02-12 10:20 AM
in reply to: rrrunner

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Master
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Orlando
Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

Originally posted by rrrunner

I went to the chiropractor yesterday. It was already scheduled for my monthly tune-up but I'd had a stiff neck since my crash so I was looking forward to it.

So I get in there and he knows about the crash because he follows me on Strava (and vice versa, he ran 19 miles this morning!). He got me all set up and proceeded to tell me I was all a mess.  I knew I needed some adjustments but figured he'd work on the knee too. Nope, once he made the back adjustments he said the legs looked great. So I'm all set for another 100 miles.

Yay, glad you're all tuned up and ready to run!

2016-02-12 11:49 AM
in reply to: Jet Black

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Pennsylvania
Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

       GOATS!!

  

2016-02-12 11:55 AM
in reply to: jmkizer

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Pennsylvania
Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

Originally posted by jmkizer

Racing Manatees!!!

February 13-14
Ann-Marie - Run 4 Love 4 miler on Saturday
Ann-Marie - Flatwoods Ramble 10 miler on Sunday
Tom A  - IMS Arizona Half Marathon on Sunday
Adrienne - Vertfest  on Sunday?

Disabled List
Mary S - post-concussion syndrome
Ben - clavical.  out of sling prison
Steve - Surgery 1/20 followed by 8 weeks of recovery before SBR can restart.  Recover week 3 is done!
Yanti - dental woes

Adam - Glad that the LASIK went well!
Good thoughts for Darren's boy, Fin!

Happy Valentine's Day!

GOOOOOO RACERS!!!

Please heal up and feel better, DLers.  And lots and lots of good thoughts for little Fin.

2016-02-12 1:19 PM
in reply to: melbo55

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Denver, Colorado
Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed
Originally posted by melbo55

Originally posted by jmkizer

Racing Manatees!!!

February 13-14
Ann-Marie - Run 4 Love 4 miler on Saturday
Ann-Marie - Flatwoods Ramble 10 miler on Sunday
Tom A  - IMS Arizona Half Marathon on Sunday
Adrienne - Vertfest  on Sunday?

Disabled List
Mary S - post-concussion syndrome
Ben - clavical.  out of sling prison
Steve - Surgery 1/20 followed by 8 weeks of recovery before SBR can restart.  Recover week 3 is done!
Yanti - dental woes

Adam - Glad that the LASIK went well!
Good thoughts for Darren's boy, Fin!

Happy Valentine's Day!

GOOOOOO RACERS!!!

Please heal up and feel better, DLers.  And lots and lots of good thoughts for little Fin.




Have a fun races and quick recoveries!
Have a wonderful weekend everyone ))
2016-02-12 4:15 PM
in reply to: jmkizer

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Ridgeland, Mississippi
Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed

Originally posted by jmkizer

Racing Manatees!!!

February 13-14
Ann-Marie - Run 4 Love 4 miler on Saturday
Ann-Marie - Flatwoods Ramble 10 miler on Sunday
Tom A  - IMS Arizona Half Marathon on Sunday
Adrienne - Vertfest  on Sunday?

Disabled List
Mary S - post-concussion syndrome
Ben - clavical.  out of sling prison
Steve - Surgery 1/20 followed by 8 weeks of recovery before SBR can restart.  Recover week 3 is done!
Yanti - dental woes

Adam - Glad that the LASIK went well!
Good thoughts for Darren's boy, Fin!

Happy Valentine's Day!

 

Good luck, Racers!  Heal up, DL squad!



2016-02-13 12:46 AM
in reply to: jmkizer

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Western Australia
Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed
Originally posted by jmkizer

Racing Manatees!!!

February 13-14
Ann-Marie - Run 4 Love 4 miler on Saturday
Ann-Marie - Flatwoods Ramble 10 miler on Sunday
Tom A  - IMS Arizona Half Marathon on Sunday
Adrienne - Vertfest  on Sunday?

Disabled List
Mary S - post-concussion syndrome
Ben - clavical.  out of sling prison
Steve - Surgery 1/20 followed by 8 weeks of recovery before SBR can restart.  Recover week 3 is done!
Yanti - dental woes

Adam - Glad that the LASIK went well!
Good thoughts for Darren's boy, Fin!

Happy Valentine's Day!


GO RACERS GO!!!

Kind of a proof of life post too. Sorry I haven't been around been flat out at work. It's been ridiculous. Been doing no training at all and I think that is adding to my stress levels. Ended up with a migraine yesterday. But a combination of all my treatment tricks got rid of it and I managed to make it to work by morning tea time.
2016-02-13 2:42 PM
in reply to: StaceyK

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Seattle
Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed
Double yeah Ann Marie! Go Tom and yeah, I'm competing in Vert Fest tomorrow. Can't say I've ever done a race that requires a shovel at gear check. It's going to be a hullluva way to kick off marathon training. Watching the trials, the women's race is getting good!
2016-02-14 7:23 AM
in reply to: Asalzwed

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Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed
Back from the dead.

Had another busy week at work. Good thing is that the budgets are finally done which should open up my training opportunities.

Also had the final touches done on some (6) implants this week that's been in the works for the last 2 1/2 years. I can now smile a lot bigger when I cross the finish line.

After the last few weeks of allergy craziness decided to see an Allergist and see about starting my allergy immunotherapy back up. She ran an allergy test and sure enough just about every Texas tree and grass I'm allergic to. Sigh. She also checked my lung functions as I had developed some "asthmatic tendencies" with my GBS. Good news is that apparently my lung capacity has improved, but apparently I'm still showing some issues during the exhale phase. Possibility of the nerves responsible for that function are still damaged and haven't fully recovered.

Took my new/old bike finally out on a real ride on Friday. It was super windy, but nevertheless lots of fun.

Struggling a little bit with weight lately. Constantly hungry and somehow managed to pack on about 5 pounds over the last week. Not quite sure what to make of it.

Hope everyone had a great race this weekend and that all the DL'ers are recovering quickly.

During the half marathon we had a guy break the world record pushing a baby stroller. No only did he break the world record he also won the overall race in 1:11.27. Crazy. I'm attaching a couple of pictures of my dorky self from last weekend.



(KH16JS2504.jpg)



(KHM16MK0238.jpg)



Attachments
----------------
KH16JS2504.jpg (1142KB - 4 downloads)
KHM16MK0238.jpg (378KB - 2 downloads)
2016-02-14 7:30 AM
in reply to: cdban66

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Master
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Rio Rancho, NM
Subject: RE: Manatee Mentors 2016 - Closed
Sounds like some good things going on. Yay for New teeth and getting allergies figured out. Nice that you got the bike out too!I've seen several articles on the stroller guy. Good for him!
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author : EndurancePlanet
comments : 0
Not only is he a great athlete, he is a great mentor. I have been in his mentor group for the last two rounds and he inspires and encourages our entire group daily.
date : February 19, 2007
author : Terese Luikens
comments : 0
Find a mentor. Make a list of at least three people that you could approach for help, list your specific needs and then be courageous enough to begin asking.