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2016-08-29 2:21 PM
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Champion
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Subject: RE: Facebook strangers

I friended a woman this summer in a similar way - we met at a trail race, we had some friends in common, I sent her a request. I have no idea what she thought when I did that.  I did it because I figured we'd run into each other again, maybe I'd see some fun trail running pictures, learn about a new race, etc.  In contrast I also friended a guy at this same race, whom I have run into at least 10 times at running things, and he lives down the street from me (literally 5 houses away) and he hasn't accepted my request - why?

Since then, she sent me a personal message while I was on vacation to tell me that she liked seeing my vacation pictures.  I have seen really interesting pictures of her doing other hobbies that tell me more about her and a topic I'm interested in.

Even though I am an introvert, I haven't reached my limit of making relationships.    And if she or someone like that turned out to be icky/boring/rude, then I'd just unfriend/unfollow them.    In fact, I have made SO many friends this way!   A casual connection can often turn into an opportunity. 



Edited by BikerGrrrl 2016-08-29 2:22 PM


2016-08-29 5:05 PM
in reply to: BikerGrrrl

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Expert
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Subject: RE: Facebook strangers

I don't think it's that weird - I've gotten to know a lot of my cycling acquaintances much better by keeping up with them on Facebook. There have been plenty of gals I met on a group mtb ride, friended on Facebook, and now count among my real life riding friends, I'm friends on Facebook with a bunch of guys from my cycling team who I've hardly met, but I like seeing their pics of their rides and adventures.

As an introvert, I would never be comfortable getting someone's phone number the first time I meet them, but friending people with similar interests on Facebook or Instagram breaks the ice a bit, and has allowed me to meet a lot of real life friends I wouldn't have otherwise.

That said, I'm an artist and have 3,000 friends and 1,200 followers on Facebook, mostly fellow artists/painters. It's a little bit weird having a bunch of strangers connected on there. I designate all of the people I don't know as "acquaintances" so that when I post pics of my kids or family or anything private I can make those photos available to "friends except acquaintances". Don't need a bunch of randoms looking at pics of my kids. I have a business page that I try to redirect them to, but Facebook makes that difficult by showing it to so few people in their feeds...

You know what IS creepy?? The flyby feature on Strava!! I have, on multiple occasions now, passed guys on the trail while riding and had them make contact on Strava using the flybys feature. I get it if you're being friendly and we had a decent conversation, but if we just passed and said "hey", it looks uber-creepy for you to find me the next day and say hi. Luckily, you can turn it off. 

2016-08-29 9:46 PM
in reply to: BikerGrrrl

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Denver, Colorado
Subject: RE: Facebook strangers
Last year at Chicago Triathlon I was walking to transition on the race morning. Somebody yelled at me and it was a girl from my age group with race number following my race number (we had those cool tattoos on hour arms). It was such a cool coincidence we took a picture and wished each other best of luck. After the race I was just curious how she did and searched her results. Obviously, it showed me her name, so I found her on Facebook just to send her that pic (it was really cool picture). I did not even expect her to see that message, because if you're not fb friends the message goes to "Other" inbox. I completely forgot about it and around 8 months later she messaged me that she had just noticed that message and thanked me for the pic! She also sent me friend request and we cheer each other all the time since then. She lives in another state, very low chance we'll see each other again, but since we're both racing fair amount throughout the year, we do post plenty of supportive and encouraging comments to one another.

I think Facebook, or any social media, is a communication and networking tool. Yes, there are some creepers, just like in the real world, but there are also all sorts of little communities and networks that help us get stronger, stay informative, gather new info/resources, or just simply have more fun with more people from other places.
2016-09-14 10:50 AM
in reply to: TriMyBest

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Subject: RE: Facebook strangers
When I get random semi-stranger friend requests on FB, I immediately add them to the "restricted" friend list. We are still "friends" per se, but they don't see anything that I post. I do this with some coworkers that I need to be "friends" with for work place political reasons, but also don't want knowing my business. Hell, even my in-laws are on that list. It's a great way of seeming friendly, but not having too much out there either. You can also set up specific groups and only post to those as well. FB offers all kinds of settings for this kind of thing.
2016-09-14 12:36 PM
in reply to: KatieLimb

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Subject: RE: Facebook strangers
Originally posted by KatieLimb

When I get random semi-stranger friend requests on FB, I immediately add them to the "restricted" friend list. We are still "friends" per se, but they don't see anything that I post. I do this with some coworkers that I need to be "friends" with for work place political reasons, but also don't want knowing my business. Hell, even my in-laws are on that list. It's a great way of seeming friendly, but not having too much out there either. You can also set up specific groups and only post to those as well. FB offers all kinds of settings for this kind of thing.


Funny I was wondering if I was still friends with someone and I got a hey you should like this too from them. I forgot I blocked there feed because it was nothing but crazy politics. I guess it could be something nice to do until November.
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