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2007-05-03 2:27 PM
in reply to: #781387

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Master
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Tiger's Den
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!

Be proud for putting yourself out there. You'll never wonder "what if"

Now, have you met Rynomite? I  hear he's available...

Just kidding...



2007-05-03 2:33 PM
in reply to: #781387

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Expert
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Chesapeake, VA
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!
That is really awesome that you had the courage to do all that. 
2007-05-03 2:39 PM
in reply to: #781387

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Expert
767
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Littleton, Colorado
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!
Does this mean Joe is the new Ducky?
2007-05-03 2:40 PM
in reply to: #787585

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Pro
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Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!

swgtri - 2007-05-03 2:39 PM Does this mean Joe is the new Ducky?

No, not Ducky...Ducky was in love w/ Molly Ringwald's character...

2007-05-03 2:41 PM
in reply to: #781387

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Champion
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Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!

Thanks for the lunch update.  I'm not sure I'd be too quick to write him off.  He may be as rattled as you were with the thermostat/kiss offer.  I'm guessing you didn't offer the message he was expecting to receive and he may spend some serious time thinking about this.  For all you know, he's now started a thread on his favorite website about how stupidly he responded and is it possible to salvage anything. 

I think it's great that you took this step.  Now you know how us guys feel (and why it's sometimes hard for us to screw up enough courage to take a risk and ask an important question).   The whole "I flirt with you because your safe..." is a way to avoid being rejected. 

It's been fun to date vicariously (and I'll offer a huge Thank You on behalf of the BT community).  I'm ssssooooooo glad to be past this stage of my life. 

2007-05-03 3:12 PM
in reply to: #787041

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2007-05-03 4:00 PM
in reply to: #787670

Master
2249
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Colorado
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!
Give it a day or two, maybe even a week.  $10 bucks says he thinks about it more and starts asking you out.   
2007-05-03 4:12 PM
in reply to: #787755

Master
1254
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Chesapeake, VA
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!

regimom - 2007-05-03 5:00 PM Give it a day or two, maybe even a week.  $10 bucks says he thinks about it more and starts asking you out.   

Totally agree!  I'm in for $100. 

2007-05-03 4:12 PM
in reply to: #787755

Master
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Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!

regimom - 2007-05-03 3:00 PM Give it a day or two, maybe even a week.  $10 bucks says he thinks about it more and starts asking you out.   

I agree, once you know a woman has a thing for you, she becomes 10x hotter. 

2007-05-03 4:13 PM
in reply to: #781387

Elite
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Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!

Damn, girl. You got some serious stones! Congratulations on putting yourself out there in spite of potential rejection or any barf related incidents. Just knowing where you stand in some or all parts of life is GOLDEN and now you know where you stand. I don't think any of us here on BT worry about you finding that right person. You're smart, charming, witty, good looking, and willing to lay it all on the line. That's an extremely attractive package.

Thanks for the inspiration and laughs and the reminder to live in the moment.

Cheers!

Tom 

2007-05-03 4:20 PM
in reply to: #787777

Master
2249
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Colorado
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!
Matchman - 2007-05-03 3:13 PM

Damn, girl. You got some serious stones! Congratulations on putting yourself out there in spite of potential rejection or any barf related incidents. Just knowing where you stand in some or all parts of life is GOLDEN and now you know where you stand. I don't think any of us here on BT worry about you finding that right person. You're smart, charming, witty, good looking, and willing to lay it all on the line. That's an extremely attractive package.

Thanks for the inspiration and laughs and the reminder to live in the moment.

Cheers!

Tom 

Uh, you are making it sound like this thread is over.  Like this movie is over.  Sit your a$$ back down on this couch and wait for the rest of the show.  Did you take my Hot Tamales?



2007-05-03 4:36 PM
in reply to: #787755

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2007-05-03 5:39 PM
in reply to: #787809

Master
2278
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State of Confusion
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!
Without sounding condescending or patronizing...I am so proud of you girl! Nobody needs head games and you just made sure no more head games are going to be played. You took a big risk, HE sent some mixed signals to you by flirting with you...shame on him...and kudos to you for laying it all out there! Sorry it didn't have the ending you hoped for (ALL of us hoped for) but you have a great attitude, and clearly the right perspective. He IS crazy!Wink
2007-05-03 5:42 PM
in reply to: #781387

Master
1534
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San Diego, CA
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!

Hey Kiley,

Way to go girl !

I love seeing people laying it all out, wearing their heart on their sleeve.
Glad to see that you followed your instincts (and your heart). No regrets in order here...

Sounds like Joe is a nice guy, and a good friend. They're hard to come by, and are something to cherish.

If he's not the guy, you know the right one is still out there and looking for you too.

And...I'm pretty sure Joe had a "Holy Cow" moment after lunch and may be still coming to terms with everything.

Anyhow, WAY TO GO !

Danny



Edited by dhyte 2007-05-03 5:43 PM
2007-05-04 6:04 AM
in reply to: #781387

Extreme Veteran
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Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!
So not to give you false hopes, but maybe he just needs to think about everything.  He might not realize that he was in to you and now that he has a better picture of how you feel, he may realize that he feels more than friendship for you also.  It's happened to me before. Give it a little time before you give up on him. 
2007-05-04 6:41 AM
in reply to: #787755

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London
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!
Can't really say much more than what's been said already .... so - you're definitely on in a mill and whilst the guy is nuts for not (literally) jumping at your suggestion, I'm very very impressed and proud not only of the way you handled it but that you just gave it a god-darn go!

Mucho kudos to you!

regimom - 2007-05-03 9:00 PM

Give it a day or two, maybe even a week. $10 bucks says he thinks about it more and starts asking you out.


Put me down for the same and if he doesn't, I'm free at the moment lol


2007-05-04 8:41 AM
in reply to: #787377

Extreme Veteran
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Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!
[mall talk ensues. I seriously cannot make decent sentences b/c I'm so nervous.

Finally I say "Well, I've called you to this meeting today (smiling b/c of course that's cheesy) b/c...I feel like things have been weird kind of between us since like...the ski trip off and on. And...I just am wondering if I did anything to offend you, or if something's bothering you or...what?" He says "No, man...everything's cool...But you're not the only one who's asked me that lately...even basketball guys were asking the other day...I think it's the move maybe (he moved last weekend)..." I say "Okay...well...that's good..." Eating, eating, eating...trying not to barf...

More small talk...

Me: "Soooo...part II of this meeting...is...well...I don't know how to say this but I want to be clear and...so....hmmmm...Well...I guess I just feel like I've been confused for a long time now and that I could possibly have been acting in a confusing way too and...I just am tired of that. Tired of being confused. So...I'm hoping to end that. =) So...I guess uh...I like you a lot. Like there is no 'good guy list' there's just...you. And...I don't think I've acted that way really and I just...want you to know that. And if you don't feel the same way I guess I just want to know that so I can...stop...liking you...I guess." (I was smiling thru most of that.) "And I felt like on the ski trip there were times that...you were acting...in such a way that it could look like you felt the same way, but I'm not sure. And if not that's okay I just want to know."


I hate to muddy the waters, but this sounds to me like he could have been unsure what you were saying, especially given the history. Maybe it's just me. Saying you were acting confused and that you like him is not the same as saying, " I've really regretted not letting you kiss me, because I had wanted you to for a long time, and I still do". I mean, "I guess I just feel like I've been confused for a long time now and that I could possibly have been acting in a confusing way too and...I just am tired of that. Tired of being confused. So...I'm hoping to end that. =) So...I guess uh...I like you a lot." Ok, what does that mean? It could still mean buddies. And being confused could mean you don't know how you feel about him. I hate to be a nitpicker, but I think you still were not sufficiently clear what you were talking about. I think he was still wary of misinterpreting unclear signals. I don't believe for a minute he wasn't/isn't hot for you. Keep in mind he was probably as nervous as you were, especially since he didn't know what it was about, and you started off by saying things had been weird and asking if he felt that way , too. which probably made him feel defensive. Well, time will tell.

Edited by HankJKy 2007-05-04 8:52 AM
2007-05-04 10:53 AM
in reply to: #781387

Master
2051
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Portland, OR
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!

Kiley!!  *HUG* You're awesome.  What you did took a lot of courage!!  The best part is it sounds like you have your fun volleyball buddy back.  And, like others have said, you never know what might happen.

And another really cool thing: he is still in your life.  Maybe not the way you'd hoped but true friendships are precious.

There is someone out there for you! (You're too adorable to be single much longer!)

2007-05-04 10:55 AM
in reply to: #788398

Master
2249
200010010025
Colorado
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!
Will you just give us his phone number?  I think we can sort this all out.
2007-05-04 10:57 AM
in reply to: #788652

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2007-05-04 11:54 AM
in reply to: #781387

Expert
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SF-Bay Area
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!

I'm waitin' around for Season 2 of "Days of our Kiley"....



Edited by guncollector 2007-05-04 11:54 AM


2007-05-04 1:24 PM
in reply to: #781387

Extreme Veteran
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Miami, FL
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!

What an awesome thread!  I just read all 10 pages here at work.  I've been on the edge of my seat since I got back from lunch.

Kiley-girl... you are fabulous! 

2007-05-04 3:15 PM
in reply to: #787423

Master
1573
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Red Sox Nation
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!

morey1 - 2007-05-03 2:43 PM

Opus - 2007-05-03 1:38 PM What a frikken nut. I'm sure he's nice, but I think he's pretty crazy.

No kidding.  Must be different out there in Omaha.  Nice, smart, athletic, pretty.  eh, I'll pass.  I flirt b/c your safe.  WTF is THAT?

I'm glad you feel OK.  Try to keep that feeling alive.  You're a better person for having cleared this up.  Go find someone worthy.

Kiley?  I've lurked on this thread, and girl?  You rock.  There are so many comments to x"X" too, but good on you for putting yourself out there.  Wish I could be as brave! 

And yeah, you can never engineer an outcome, it can only happen.

2007-05-06 9:49 PM
in reply to: #781387

Expert
906
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Olathe, KS
Subject: RE: Friend, more than friend, not a friend??? HELP!
I still think we need to change the name of "My Cup of Joe" to something else as a show of support.
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