right thing/wrong thing??
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2007-06-29 12:12 PM |
Champion 6786 Two seat rocket plane | Subject: right thing/wrong thing?? So I swing by a conveninece store on my way to work this morning (green tea and an Almond Joy) On the side walk outside there are a couple of down-n-outers, a man and a woman. She's on the pay phone. I go in and get my stuff. While I'm in the store, she walks in and is at the counter. Now this woman is skinny (not good skinny either) with a hardened face and some teeth missing. She could be anywhere from 30-60 years old...shabbish, but not smellyfromsleepingoutsideunderacardboardbox. The point is, she's buying a pack if cigarettes...really cheap ones.....and she doesn't have enough money. By this point, I am behind her in line. She turns to me and asks to "borrow" a quarter. I have no change (it all goes into my toy fund) I gave her a dollar. She got her cigs. Gave me the change and went away. The clerk said to me after she had gone. "you're a kinder man than me. I wouldn't have given her anything for cigarettes....food maybe...but not smokes" So, yes I know that cigarettes are a bad thing. I am a former 15 years two-packs a day smoker myself. So I really,really,really know just exactly how bad they are. I know just how lousy the jones for a smoke is too. I have also been really poor too, and I know the humiliation of that as well. Maybe I am placing too much emphasis on appearences, but it looked to me like this woman was not far from the bottom. The way I figure it. I made her day a little easier, my not giving her a quarter wasn't going to make her quit smoking and take up tri's. On the other hand I was an enabler of her addiction. Makes me go HMMMM??
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2007-06-29 12:15 PM in reply to: #866126 |
Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
2007-06-29 12:24 PM in reply to: #866126 |
Elite Veteran 1817 Cedar Rapids, Iowa | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? The woman asked for a quarter - not any high handed moral judgements. Personally, I'd have given her the quarter if I had it. What the heck, why not be nice? And I'm one of the most anti smoking people you'll ever meet. I guess I would not pass out quarters for guns, drugs or porn, but other than that - what the hell do I care? |
2007-06-29 12:39 PM in reply to: #866126 |
Master 2278 State of Confusion | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? Did it make you feel better? Right or wrong, I would have done the same thing. |
2007-06-29 12:48 PM in reply to: #866126 |
Champion 5345 Carlsbad, California | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? Yes, you did what I would have done. (Not sure about it being right or wrong, just what I would have done) I have no hesitation at all about helping someone out. (Regardless of their circumstances) I might suggest that you get some Karma Points for the day (If you believe in that sort of thing) but really, the reward has already been received |
2007-06-29 1:59 PM in reply to: #866126 |
Elite 4344 | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? Something like this happens to me fairly often. I have seen someone struggling in their pockets for a few coins to pay for groceries or six-pack or cigarettes and without being asked I just slipped a few bills to the cashier. Cashiers are usually pretty cool. They just take the money and push the goods to the customer and say they're good to go. I don't give it another thought. Certainly, not about right or wrong. Their day-life-existence just continued on with that job accomplished. Mine did too. The lady didn't ask you for your approval of her purchase. She asked you for a quarter. You said yes. No big deal. TW Edited by tech_geezer 2007-06-29 2:00 PM |
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2007-06-29 2:32 PM in reply to: #866126 |
Champion 5807 Henderson NV | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? I need to know when and where tech geezer shops...I WILL ALWAYS BE LOOKING FOR MONEY...LOL. |
2007-06-29 2:38 PM in reply to: #866126 |
Giver 18427 | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? She's apparetnly at a pretty crappy point in her life, so you did something to give her a bit of pleasure an otherwise bleak existence. So yeah, good thing. |
2007-06-29 3:03 PM in reply to: #866126 |
Elite 3130 | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? |
2007-06-29 3:26 PM in reply to: #866126 |
Master 1381 Clifton, NJ | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? i vote "good thing" - its like when you give change to a homeless person, you don't know if they're saving up for a fix or a meal... its not up to you to judge. |
2007-06-29 4:03 PM in reply to: #866126 |
Elite 3519 San Jose, CA | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? I vote Good Thing...and a kind thing...I doubt I would have done it...if it was food yes...and have given my last quarter until pay day thing for someone that was in the grocery store buying food....But I am utterly and morally and physically opposed to smoking...I have an SO that smokes and my mother is a chimney and my entire life, its been a big deal for me. I wouldn't have preached to her or anything, I just don't think I could do it. But again, I applaud your kindness.
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2007-06-29 4:08 PM in reply to: #866126 |
Elite 2421 | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? Come judgement day, when you meet your maker, if you're weighed, measured, and found wanting, I'd be willing to be that this little incident isn't on the list of reasons why. bts |
2007-06-30 5:45 AM in reply to: #866126 |
Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? Wow, am I the only one who wouldn't give her the money? I would offer to buy her some food, but I wouldn't give her money for cigarettes. I don't give money to bums on the street either. My roommate from freshman year of college had a good idea - on cold days (and in Boston, the winter is COLD), she would pass the Dunkin Donuts (of which there are many in Boston) and if there was a bum outside and he asked her for money, she would go inside and buy him a cup of coffee. At least she knew her money was being used to help keep him warm. |
2007-06-30 6:14 AM in reply to: #866126 |
Master 1704 Long Island, NY | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? Wow, I'm shocked she gave you the change back! Here in NY that whole dollar would have been long gone with nary a thanks! I vote for A Good thing. |
2007-06-30 6:24 AM in reply to: #866988 |
Resident Curmudgeon 25290 The Road Back | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 5:45 AM Wow, am I the only one who wouldn't give her the money? I would offer to buy her some food, but I wouldn't give her money for cigarettes. I don't give money to bums on the street either. My roommate from freshman year of college had a good idea - on cold days (and in Boston, the winter is COLD), she would pass the Dunkin Donuts (of which there are many in Boston) and if there was a bum outside and he asked her for money, she would go inside and buy him a cup of coffee. At least she knew her money was being used to help keep him warm. I'm sure the homeless and destitute appreciate your use of term "bums." Really emphasizes your humanitarian aspects. Edited by the bear 2007-06-30 6:31 AM |
2007-06-30 7:35 AM in reply to: #866997 |
Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? the bear - 2007-06-30 7:24 AM wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 5:45 AM Wow, am I the only one who wouldn't give her the money? I would offer to buy her some food, but I wouldn't give her money for cigarettes. I don't give money to bums on the street either. My roommate from freshman year of college had a good idea - on cold days (and in Boston, the winter is COLD), she would pass the Dunkin Donuts (of which there are many in Boston) and if there was a bum outside and he asked her for money, she would go inside and buy him a cup of coffee. At least she knew her money was being used to help keep him warm. I'm sure the homeless and destitute appreciate your use of term "bums." Really emphasizes your humanitarian aspects. Yes, and I also run over baby kittens with my gas-guzzling SUV when I'm not clubbing seals and cursing all homosexuals to Hell like the rest of America...please. You don't know a darned thing about my political views and stances. Sorry I offended you - but then again, I'm not really sorry. Just because I vote Democrat doesn't mean that I have to give change to homeless people. |
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2007-06-30 11:09 AM in reply to: #867015 |
Master 1457 MidWest | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 7:35 AM the bear - 2007-06-30 7:24 AM Yes, and I also run over baby kittens with my gas-guzzling SUV when I'm not clubbing seals and cursing all homosexuals to Hell like the rest of America...please. You don't know a darned thing about my political views and stances. Sorry I offended you - but then again, I'm not really sorry. Just because I vote Democrat doesn't mean that I have to give change to homeless people. wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 5:45 AM Wow, am I the only one who wouldn't give her the money? I would offer to buy her some food, but I wouldn't give her money for cigarettes. I don't give money to bums on the street either. My roommate from freshman year of college had a good idea - on cold days (and in Boston, the winter is COLD), she would pass the Dunkin Donuts (of which there are many in Boston) and if there was a bum outside and he asked her for money, she would go inside and buy him a cup of coffee. At least she knew her money was being used to help keep him warm. I'm sure the homeless and destitute appreciate your use of term "bums." Really emphasizes your humanitarian aspects. Incase you hadn't noticed---he used the sarcastic font!!! Most of us (me included) would do what we can to help those less fortunate than us. I think he did the right thing because when her live turns around she will remember someone being kind to her and "pay it forward." BEsides, havent you ever heard of the golden rule?! I hope you never need help, because the person behind you might be exactly like you! |
2007-06-30 12:04 PM in reply to: #867111 |
Elite 2421 | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? BAMBAM66 - 2007-06-30 10:09 AM wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 7:35 AM the bear - 2007-06-30 7:24 AM Yes, and I also run over baby kittens with my gas-guzzling SUV when I'm not clubbing seals and cursing all homosexuals to Hell like the rest of America...please. You don't know a darned thing about my political views and stances. Sorry I offended you - but then again, I'm not really sorry. Just because I vote Democrat doesn't mean that I have to give change to homeless people. wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 5:45 AM Wow, am I the only one who wouldn't give her the money? I would offer to buy her some food, but I wouldn't give her money for cigarettes. I don't give money to bums on the street either. My roommate from freshman year of college had a good idea - on cold days (and in Boston, the winter is COLD), she would pass the Dunkin Donuts (of which there are many in Boston) and if there was a bum outside and he asked her for money, she would go inside and buy him a cup of coffee. At least she knew her money was being used to help keep him warm. I'm sure the homeless and destitute appreciate your use of term "bums." Really emphasizes your humanitarian aspects. Incase you hadn't noticed---he used the sarcastic font!!! Most of us (me included) would do what we can to help those less fortunate than us. I think he did the right thing because when her live turns around she will remember someone being kind to her and "pay it forward." BEsides, havent you ever heard of the golden rule?! I hope you never need help, because the person behind you might be exactly like you! Does the Golden Rule include condescending judgement of others? As the saying around here goes: Just sayin'... bts |
2007-06-30 12:17 PM in reply to: #867138 |
Master 2278 State of Confusion | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? Brett - 2007-06-30 12:04 PM BAMBAM66 - 2007-06-30 10:09 AM wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 7:35 AM the bear - 2007-06-30 7:24 AM Yes, and I also run over baby kittens with my gas-guzzling SUV when I'm not clubbing seals and cursing all homosexuals to Hell like the rest of America...please. You don't know a darned thing about my political views and stances. Sorry I offended you - but then again, I'm not really sorry. Just because I vote Democrat doesn't mean that I have to give change to homeless people. wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 5:45 AM Wow, am I the only one who wouldn't give her the money? I would offer to buy her some food, but I wouldn't give her money for cigarettes. I don't give money to bums on the street either. My roommate from freshman year of college had a good idea - on cold days (and in Boston, the winter is COLD), she would pass the Dunkin Donuts (of which there are many in Boston) and if there was a bum outside and he asked her for money, she would go inside and buy him a cup of coffee. At least she knew her money was being used to help keep him warm. I'm sure the homeless and destitute appreciate your use of term "bums." Really emphasizes your humanitarian aspects. Incase you hadn't noticed---he used the sarcastic font!!! Most of us (me included) would do what we can to help those less fortunate than us. I think he did the right thing because when her live turns around she will remember someone being kind to her and "pay it forward." BEsides, havent you ever heard of the golden rule?! I hope you never need help, because the person behind you might be exactly like you! Does the Golden Rule include condescending judgement of others? As the saying around here goes: Just sayin'... bts Um, I think her point is that it doesn't...treat others as you would be treated. That IS part of the Golden Rule.
Just sayin'...
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2007-06-30 3:20 PM in reply to: #867146 |
Elite 2421 | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? NightOwl - 2007-06-30 11:17 AM Brett - 2007-06-30 12:04 PM BAMBAM66 - 2007-06-30 10:09 AM wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 7:35 AM the bear - 2007-06-30 7:24 AM Yes, and I also run over baby kittens with my gas-guzzling SUV when I'm not clubbing seals and cursing all homosexuals to Hell like the rest of America...please. You don't know a darned thing about my political views and stances. Sorry I offended you - but then again, I'm not really sorry. Just because I vote Democrat doesn't mean that I have to give change to homeless people. wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 5:45 AM Wow, am I the only one who wouldn't give her the money? I would offer to buy her some food, but I wouldn't give her money for cigarettes. I don't give money to bums on the street either. My roommate from freshman year of college had a good idea - on cold days (and in Boston, the winter is COLD), she would pass the Dunkin Donuts (of which there are many in Boston) and if there was a bum outside and he asked her for money, she would go inside and buy him a cup of coffee. At least she knew her money was being used to help keep him warm. I'm sure the homeless and destitute appreciate your use of term "bums." Really emphasizes your humanitarian aspects. Incase you hadn't noticed---he used the sarcastic font!!! Most of us (me included) would do what we can to help those less fortunate than us. I think he did the right thing because when her live turns around she will remember someone being kind to her and "pay it forward." BEsides, havent you ever heard of the golden rule?! I hope you never need help, because the person behind you might be exactly like you! Does the Golden Rule include condescending judgement of others? As the saying around here goes: Just sayin'... bts Um, I think her point is that it doesn't...treat others as you would be treated. That IS part of the Golden Rule.
Just sayin'...
Her point was obvous, as was the manner in which she communicated it. My point was that in communicating her point, she was violating the rule that she was preaching. I rather appreciated the irony of it. bts |
2007-06-30 3:39 PM in reply to: #866126 |
molto veloce mama 9311 | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? we all know how i feel about smoking, but i think your heart was in the right place and you gave her a little joy. maybe even a little more faith in the kindness of others. so, another vote for good thing. |
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2007-06-30 3:49 PM in reply to: #867230 |
Master 2278 State of Confusion | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? Brett - 2007-06-30 3:20 PM NightOwl - 2007-06-30 11:17 AM Brett - 2007-06-30 12:04 PM BAMBAM66 - 2007-06-30 10:09 AM wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 7:35 AM the bear - 2007-06-30 7:24 AM Yes, and I also run over baby kittens with my gas-guzzling SUV when I'm not clubbing seals and cursing all homosexuals to Hell like the rest of America...please. You don't know a darned thing about my political views and stances. Sorry I offended you - but then again, I'm not really sorry. Just because I vote Democrat doesn't mean that I have to give change to homeless people. wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 5:45 AM Wow, am I the only one who wouldn't give her the money? I would offer to buy her some food, but I wouldn't give her money for cigarettes. I don't give money to bums on the street either. My roommate from freshman year of college had a good idea - on cold days (and in Boston, the winter is COLD), she would pass the Dunkin Donuts (of which there are many in Boston) and if there was a bum outside and he asked her for money, she would go inside and buy him a cup of coffee. At least she knew her money was being used to help keep him warm. I'm sure the homeless and destitute appreciate your use of term "bums." Really emphasizes your humanitarian aspects. Incase you hadn't noticed---he used the sarcastic font!!! Most of us (me included) would do what we can to help those less fortunate than us. I think he did the right thing because when her live turns around she will remember someone being kind to her and "pay it forward." BEsides, havent you ever heard of the golden rule?! I hope you never need help, because the person behind you might be exactly like you! Does the Golden Rule include condescending judgement of others? As the saying around here goes: Just sayin'... bts Um, I think her point is that it doesn't...treat others as you would be treated. That IS part of the Golden Rule.
Just sayin'...
Her point was obvous, as was the manner in which she communicated it. My point was that in communicating her point, she was violating the rule that she was preaching. I rather appreciated the irony of it. bts I should remind myself to read the entire exchange before I turn on my "b!ch" tone...my bad. |
2007-06-30 6:14 PM in reply to: #867254 |
Master 1457 MidWest | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? NightOwl - 2007-06-30 3:49 PM Brett - 2007-06-30 3:20 PM NightOwl - 2007-06-30 11:17 AM Brett - 2007-06-30 12:04 PM BAMBAM66 - 2007-06-30 10:09 AM wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 7:35 AM the bear - 2007-06-30 7:24 AM Yes, and I also run over baby kittens with my gas-guzzling SUV when I'm not clubbing seals and cursing all homosexuals to Hell like the rest of America...please. You don't know a darned thing about my political views and stances. Sorry I offended you - but then again, I'm not really sorry. Just because I vote Democrat doesn't mean that I have to give change to homeless people. wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 5:45 AM Wow, am I the only one who wouldn't give her the money? I would offer to buy her some food, but I wouldn't give her money for cigarettes. I don't give money to bums on the street either. My roommate from freshman year of college had a good idea - on cold days (and in Boston, the winter is COLD), she would pass the Dunkin Donuts (of which there are many in Boston) and if there was a bum outside and he asked her for money, she would go inside and buy him a cup of coffee. At least she knew her money was being used to help keep him warm. I'm sure the homeless and destitute appreciate your use of term "bums." Really emphasizes your humanitarian aspects. Incase you hadn't noticed---he used the sarcastic font!!! Most of us (me included) would do what we can to help those less fortunate than us. I think he did the right thing because when her live turns around she will remember someone being kind to her and "pay it forward." BEsides, havent you ever heard of the golden rule?! I hope you never need help, because the person behind you might be exactly like you! Does the Golden Rule include condescending judgement of others? As the saying around here goes: Just sayin'... bts Um, I think her point is that it doesn't...treat others as you would be treated. That IS part of the Golden Rule.
Just sayin'...
Her point was obvous, as was the manner in which she communicated it. My point was that in communicating her point, she was violating the rule that she was preaching. I rather appreciated the irony of it. bts I should remind myself to read the entire exchange before I turn on my "b!ch" tone...my bad. I didn't think I was being condescending! I thought I was reminding her about the sarcastic font. It was not my intent to undo the Golden Rule. Maybe I'll just go back to doing housework and leave this to more knowledgeable people. Sorry Bear for trying to interpret what you said. I'll try to not let the door hit me as I leave. |
2007-06-30 6:34 PM in reply to: #866126 |
Elite 4235 Spring, TX | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? Sitting here on my couch, my first reaction was "There's no way in the world I would have handed out money for cigarrettes." I have very little sympathy for (enter politically correct word for bums), and there is very little I disdain more in this world than smoking. That being said, I don't know what I would do if put in the situation where I was actually standing there. I have very strong political/social opinions, but am a softy at heart. |
2007-06-30 7:10 PM in reply to: #867349 |
Elite 2421 | Subject: RE: right thing/wrong thing?? BAMBAM66 - 2007-06-30 5:14 PM NightOwl - 2007-06-30 3:49 PM Brett - 2007-06-30 3:20 PM NightOwl - 2007-06-30 11:17 AM Brett - 2007-06-30 12:04 PM BAMBAM66 - 2007-06-30 10:09 AM wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 7:35 AM the bear - 2007-06-30 7:24 AM Yes, and I also run over baby kittens with my gas-guzzling SUV when I'm not clubbing seals and cursing all homosexuals to Hell like the rest of America...please. You don't know a darned thing about my political views and stances. Sorry I offended you - but then again, I'm not really sorry. Just because I vote Democrat doesn't mean that I have to give change to homeless people. wurkit_gurl - 2007-06-30 5:45 AM Wow, am I the only one who wouldn't give her the money? I would offer to buy her some food, but I wouldn't give her money for cigarettes. I don't give money to bums on the street either. My roommate from freshman year of college had a good idea - on cold days (and in Boston, the winter is COLD), she would pass the Dunkin Donuts (of which there are many in Boston) and if there was a bum outside and he asked her for money, she would go inside and buy him a cup of coffee. At least she knew her money was being used to help keep him warm. I'm sure the homeless and destitute appreciate your use of term "bums." Really emphasizes your humanitarian aspects. Incase you hadn't noticed---he used the sarcastic font!!! Most of us (me included) would do what we can to help those less fortunate than us. I think he did the right thing because when her live turns around she will remember someone being kind to her and "pay it forward." BEsides, havent you ever heard of the golden rule?! I hope you never need help, because the person behind you might be exactly like you! Does the Golden Rule include condescending judgement of others? As the saying around here goes: Just sayin'... bts Um, I think her point is that it doesn't...treat others as you would be treated. That IS part of the Golden Rule.
Just sayin'...
Her point was obvous, as was the manner in which she communicated it. My point was that in communicating her point, she was violating the rule that she was preaching. I rather appreciated the irony of it. bts I should remind myself to read the entire exchange before I turn on my "b!ch" tone...my bad. I didn't think I was being condescending! I thought I was reminding her about the sarcastic font. It was not my intent to undo the Golden Rule. Maybe I'll just go back to doing housework and leave this to more knowledgeable people. Sorry Bear for trying to interpret what you said. I'll try to not let the door hit me as I leave. I was actually referring to the second paragraph, I didn't think that wurkit caught the sarcasm font either. Although I'm not even sure how bear meant the sarcasm font: did the sarcasm font mean that he didn't really think she was being heartless, or was he saying she should be more understanding in a sarcastic manner. See that's why I'm the written medium is so annoying. All the subtlies are lost on the uninitiated (and even the initiated sometimes it would seem ) And for the record, I agree with you regarding whether is was right or wrong. bts |
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