Feeling better today. I have the day off from work, and I'm really glad about that. Putting things in perspective helps a lot. This just comes with the territory of working with animals. Dogs don't live as long as we do, and death is always around. And at least it isn't as bad as working at the vet. I hated that. Getting attached to sick animals and then having to hold them while the doc puts them to sleep, the family watching and crying the whole time. I like this job much better.

I really don't want to go to work today. I'm going to have to put a dog in the crate that Maxwell died in yesterday. And then after naptime I'm going to have to clean that crate. And every time I look at 36-1 I'm going to think of Maxwell. I guess bad news comes in threes. After I left on Sunday (the day Maxwell died) there was a dogfight. A new dog that just started coming attacked one of our regulars. The attacker (a lab) is no longer welcome at the daycare, and the victim (a german shepherd) had to get 8 stitches above his eye. Then this evening I found out one of my favorite dogs has invasive mouth cancer. He's only five! They've sent him to the oncologist for the buffy coat test, which checks to see if the cancer has metastasized. They're pretty sure they're going to have to remove the lump and most of his lower jaw on the left side. This has been a pretty draining two days of work. It comes with the job, but not usually so much so bad. I'm hugging my own dogs a lot these last two days.

Got called into work today for a few hours. when Kiera, the manager for this weekend, came into work, one of the dogs had died. Maxwell, the french bulldog, had died between the morning feeding and 11am. His body was cold and stiff and she just freaked out. She had to call the shop owner, who is out of town with her mother (who is recovering from her first round of chemo) and the shop owner contacted the dog's owner. We had to take pictures of the body and then transport him to the vet. Kiera refused to touch the dog, so I had to lift him up by myself, put him in a bag, then another bag, then a box, and put him in her car. Not that frenchies are very heavy, but I could have used a hand. At the vet they put her in a room and grilled her for an hour about what he ate, what was in the crate, etc. She said it made her feel horrible, and I can't blame her. To feel like a criminal, when sometimes these things just happen. Crappy day all around for all those involved. But I feel worst for Maxwell's family. They go away for vacation and he dies. He was pretty young, too. My legs feel much better today. Most of the fatigue and overall stiffness seems to be going away. Interesting realization, but perhaps TMI, so consider yourself warned: I got my period on the day I did my 12 miler. And then felt wiped for the rest of the day and yesterday. Big surprise. Now that I'm a few days in, I'm feeling better. I need to see where I'm going to be in my cycle for the marathon, because there's no way I can run on Day One. Any other day, yeah, but not Day One.

Was hoping to get in a run tonight (I missed a 3 miler earlier in the week) but my legs just aren't having it. I guess running the day after a difficult long run isn't a good idea. So I'm going to get my yoga in tonight, and maybe the stretching from that will help. My calves and shins feel sore. Not bad sore, more like they worked hard and need a break.

I tried several new things today, and somehow managed to have a pretty bad run. Really, the badness I think was all about nutrition. First, my new shoes: I think they're going to be fine. I had a little bit of twinginess at the end, but I think it was more from fatigue and whatnot than anything else. My feet felt normal the whole time. Second, my fuel belt: it worked fine at the store, but take it out into the real world, and it was pretty bad. It slid up to my natural waist, bounced around, and my elbows banged into the little bottles. This was all in the first half mile, so I ran home and poured it all into my trusty bottle, which I carried again. I'll be exchanging the fuel belt for something handheld. I don't like holding a bottle, but I hate the bouncing. And, like skirts, I doubt I'll ever find one that is content to stay at my hips, but instead prefers to migrate 8 inches up to my waist. Blech. Finally, nutrition: Plain GU before I left. The taste made me feel a little gross. Took a lemon gu at mile 5, and now I'm wondering if that was waiting too late. For me, that's about 1:05 in. At mile 6, I had to stop. I mean, STOP. Lean against a tree, wonder why the birds were flying, aren't those trees neat, look at those rocks on the ground, am I stoned kind of stop. Dragged through to mile 8, where I did all that again, actually saying outloud at one point, "What's going on?" Took a strawberry banana gu at that point and headed home. I could tell I was starting to feel better, but also that I was so fatigued it was hard to come back. I took more frequent and longer walking breaks, but I made it home. Moral of the story: I guess I really do need to have a gu every 45 minutes or so. I figured it was a marketing ploy. Oh, and of course, the high point of the day is that I did finish 12 miles. They weren't fast, they weren't pretty, but its another milestone.

Rest Day! Trying to get out the door right now; I'm hitting up the running store for some new shoes. I hope I can find some today, because my long run is tomorrow, and I really want some better shoes for it. ***** Success! I really like my new shoes. I can't wait to take them for a test drive tomorrow. Nike Air Zoom Marathoner, in a spiffy red white and blue scheme. And the laces are sparkly. But more importantly, it was nice to finally have a salesperson be willing to put me in an insubstantial shoe. Because I overpronate, they always want to put me in motion controllers. But those always give me pain. The truth is, my body seems to have adapted to my pronation quite nicely, and any attempt to change it gives me hip and knee pain. So I'm training in racing flats. The girl asked me if I had any sort of pain, and marveled that I must be built for running. I thought that was funny, because if I really were, I'd probably be faster. :)

Pretty tired this evening. I feel a bit better now that I ate a big dinner. I think maybe I didn't eat quite enough yesterday. I hope to go to bed early tonight. Bed sounds really good.