Run
  • 30m 30s
  • -----
  • -----

I feel like I feel every Monday night: like I'm in so much pain I'm shocked that I'm not actually dead yet.

Oscar died very early on a Tuesday.

Every Monday-to-Tuesday night since has been a sleepless torment.

Sharp pain, the sharpest and the worst, yet I feel like I'm stumbling around in a blind, panicked fog. My head is mushy and my body wobbly. I can't think clearly. There's nothing I can do but feel this pain. 

I wish I could do something productive, if I'm going to be up all night, utterly exhausted but wired anyway.

Trapped, but screaming.

Still, but speeding.

Unable to move, but everything is racing.

I don't know how I am going to do this.

I'm safe. Kingsley knows. He always knows.

Sport
  • Walking
  • 25m

Bike
  • 1h 30m 01s
  • -----
  • -----
Run
  • 17m
  • -----
  • -----

On the plus side, I got a full night of sleep. Most of it was fitful and interrupted, but I got some solid hours in.

On the minus side, I was still an emotional wreck today.

On the plus side, I wasn't a physical wreck too.

Mental score: 3

Physical score: 5

Bike
  • 45m 15s
  • -----
  • -----
Run
  • 30m 20s
  • -----
  • -----
Swim
  • 45m
  • 2000.00 meters
  • -----

Was going to do more but several of the Perth Hill Tri Clubbers got out early because the chlorine was so bad it was setting off asthma ... and I'd even taken medication for it before I went. Just the fumes hurt your eyes ...

Mental score: 5. I got sleep. It made all the difference.

Physical score: 6. Hm probably same as above then ... I actually trained today, not just lightly exercised.

It was a pretty gut-wrenching day.

Run
  • 15m
  • -----
  • -----

Got a wee run done during the day as we are going to suicide grief group tonight.

Sport
  • Meditation
  • 10m

Mental score: 4

Physical score: 4

Well, at least it's better than yesterday.

IndoIronYanti's Training Log


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