[insert every swear word in every language]

x100

Come to Jakarta to find that no one in the hospital has been taking care of my mom the last three days. They're not regularly checking her temperature and vital signs; they're not trying to control her fever; they're not paying attention to her pain; nearly 90% of the tests, procedures, care and medication they claimed to have given her never actually happened.

Nurses refuse to let me have access to any of my mom's information, test results, or files. I make a scene and throw them the business card of the National Chief of Police (my uncle). They hand it over.

Spend the afternoon there taking care of my mom MYSELF--I found her with her limbs tied to the bed with strips of a ripped-up bedsheet, and with a fever between 104 and 105, she's bundled up in socks, gowns, sheets and blankets. No one has noticed that her IV is pouring solution into her skin, creating a big painful bruised bubble. Finally I just start ordering tests, ordering doctors, ordering medications, ordering routine care.

That's the short version.

Then I come back to the house.

Nobody's fed the dog for three days and she's been left out in the rain. Her water bowl is slime and rainwater. Her food bowl is green slime with rainwater. She's shivering, coughing, and has pus coming out of her eyes.

Then I talk to my dad, whose comment on everything is, "Your mother doesn't have it as bad as I do. She should not be a burden to me by being sick like this."

We have TEN staff at the house, including two maids, and no one had prepared my room (yes I called in advance) and when I got back from the hospital, no sign of dinner anywhere.

Awesome.

It's back to figuring out who to beat, who to fire, and who to murder.

I cooked and served myself dinner and am running a hot bath. Then it's back to the hospital to throw staff out the fourth-story windows.

What's scary is ... there isn't a better hospital here. And as bad as this one is, it's less than a kilometer from the house. Anywhere else would be impossible to get to in Jakarta traffic.

Well, the birthday blessings continue. Spent the day with my superstar sis and her friendly furry husband-person, and also, curled up snoring in their spare (my old) bedroom.
Still in Bali, flying out early tomorrow to go see my mom. She's a little better, but still not coherent or recognizing people. (Ah, but maybe she just doesn't want to recognize my bro or dad, ha ha!) But she's more responsive, and it doesn't look like she's fried her brain or stroked out from fever or the illness. Still no firm diagnosis though.

A wonderful day with my sis and getting some rest, but still exhausting on the phone thru my brother and dad's assistant back and forth with various doctors and me trying to come up with good medical recommendations. I just feel like I'm not old enough to do this, y'know? And where's my fucking MD degree?

Anyhow ... let's wrap up a piglet birthday from yesterday!

This is my lovely DJ piglet ahem friend, who's been so sweet and supportive, and was the very first to text me right at midnight on my BURFDAY!

He's a marathoner, (sometimes pesca)vegetarian, and must be the only piglet in Bali who doesn't smoke or drink (especially for being in the party scene!).

http://www.robsoundz.com

Here he is with Patrick on the way to my birthday dinner--Patrick has a bad back and Rob was, uh, "sympathizing."

Picking out fresh fish to be grilled on the spot!

They have live fish ... crabs too ... and apparently, free range children.

We ordered ELEVEN POUNDS of seafood: squid, shrimp, and red snapper.

 I'm workin' on that Twilight look. It's pretty much the only one I can carry off right now.

I thought I could eat ... I bet you thought I could eat, too ... but that boy can EAT. Most of that went down his hatch.

We had a lovely, lovely evening ... it was so good to be out on the beach, eating good food with good friends.

Now, milking the celebrations straight on into today! At my sister's house for more prezzies.

And a SPIDER RING!!!!! I LOVE IT!!! I do miss my old pink tarantula Rosie ... I had to leave her in the U.S.

And off for a ridiculously iron-rich lunch! (My sis is rockin' the Dracula complexion, too).

You know ... there's always room for ice-cream, but no rest for the weary as I am on my sister's Crackberry with my brother, who is with my mom and her doctors.

Even a little ice cream for Paco, my sister's Argentinian Dogo (think a cross between a pit bull and a Great Dane).

What a birthday. My blessings are manifold; my cup runneth over. Unfortunately, it's not just running over with Nutella-flavored hot chocolate, but my life is rich.

On the challenging side, my mother is in the hospital after having collapsed with 40C fever; she is delirious and appears to have a lung infection and spasms/minor seizures. I'm somewhat strained to the limit and it is exhausting to remember, research and make these complicated medical decisions (and try to coordinate ones already made, including a lot of bad drug-interaction errors) from a distance. The ER docs keep changing, they do not have her history there and are not writing down what I tell them. Then they call me and ask me what to do. So far no specialist consult has been called in.

So I've been playing neurologist, cardiologist, pulmonologist, tropical medicine specialist, pharmacologist. I'm dying trying to assimilate the information (thank you, NIH MedlinePlus), highlight the important parts, relate them to her history and presentation (and changing conditions), and translate a bunch of it into Indonesian.

God help me. I'm so tired and the fever (mine!) is between 100 and 101 again. She's probably not going to die between now and tomorrow morning, otherwise I'd have been on a plane before this, but geez Louise. However, this is exactly why I returned to Indonesia, and thank God I am here and CAN do this. The timing's just a bit off with me still recovering, and my sister also from dengue/typhoid herself.

But I still had a beautiful birthday, and after all, Mutti is the reason I get to have one ... here are some highlights in a photo essay.

Midnight: Queen Biscuits assumes her rightful place in the melons. Also, I get my first birthday wish of the day from a delightful DJ. More later.

I desperately need to run some money errands this afternoon (thankfully close by) and I had a beautiful brunch smoothie with a dear friend at her organic cafe. I bought Manuka Honey at their deli (along with iron-rich foods), that, garlic and ginger are my natural-remedy antibiotic mainstays. No photo, sorry.

I never have nails due to tri training, so I thought I'd paint them for my burfday. :)

I GOT AN AWESOME PREZZIE!!! My sister bought me a COUCH! It's in that big box with legs sticking out. Not sure where it's going to go, but we WILL make room! I love it!!!

Time to go to dinner! It was a gorgeous day and the view coming down the hill from my house--that's Bali's main volcano and it's clear across the island. You could see the whole island from atop my hill. And it is *not* a small island--about 70mi by 100mi wide.

So tired ... will have to phinish this photo essay tomorrow. Haven't even gotten to the juicy piglet parts ;)

"He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast." Proverbs 15:15

Three Things I'm Grateful For:
1. Gratitude itself.
2. The joy that gratitude naturally brings.
3. That these things, enjoyable in themselves, are powerful healing forces.
4. YOU!!!

Three Things I Did Well Today:
1. Focused on Gratitude.
2. Paid attention to nutrition. (What ... S'Mores Pop Tarts are MENTAL HEALTH NUTRITION big time!)
3. Finalized eeny weeny teeny little plans for my birthday tomorrow.

Three Things to Work On:
1. Work.
2. Paperwork.
3. Trying to plan for things like buying phone and electricity units ahead of time so I don't run out. Designate a day?

Dear Biscuits: and where am I supposed to sleep?!

Ironman training starts this week. BA HA! BA HA HA HA HA!

Oh come on, that wasn't even a little bit funny?

For Mother's Day, Biscuits remained glued to me (hot cat, she is), with formal feline protests at being separated in any way (e.g., on the other side of the bathroom door). However, as soon as it was over, having done her duty, she summarily disappeared.

To wrap up the day, Lisa and Phoebe brought me another chicken. O Joy ...

Damn. The electricity's out. Again. It was out for an entire day the other day ... I just slept through it.

Fuck.

Kangaroo Kitty!

That's pretty much my life right now ... bed, pillow, Bible, lab results, spoon, Sheila Taormina swim books, pens, journal, 12 Steps book, mouse (computer), and Biscuits.

It's not a bad life at all.

---

aaaand ... Biscuits just crapped worms onto my bed again. AAAAAAAAAAAARGH

This is why I'm never having kids ... I can't imagine it being even infinitely more of a circus than it already is.

Happy Mother's Day ... to all who have mothered and loved another creature. :)

I had a bit (a lot) of a breakdown the other day ... I've been getting awful spots and rashes, horribly itchy, would cover myself in lidocaine/menthol/alcohol spray and take Benadryl. I thought it was more typhoid or fever rashes.

I woke up on Saturday with something crawling next to my face.

My bed, bedding, and pillows were covered in TICKS.

Hundreds of ticks. Some giant, some medium, and tons of tiny ticks, like someone had ground black pepper all over my bed.

I had a shit fit.

A lot just came down for me that moment, personified by the ticks. The depression has been crippling, although there are many rays of sunshine (you), and I do know how to walk this road, and that accepting grace, expressing gratitude, and extending generosity make it smoother if not easier.

I've also been dealing with my feelings about a doctor who, in my opinion, should be strangled. Most doctors (50%? 60%? 90%?) in Indonesia should at the very least not be doctors, and some of them additionally require strangulation, which would be gracious in the light of the additional suffering they cause their patients.

One of the reasons that multi-drug resistant germs are rampant here is that many doctors will simply send people away with a three-day course of antibiotics regardless of their ailment.

You know what ... if I even start on it here, my head will explode and I might just run down the street tearing my hair out. So I won't. I do hope I've been able to minimize the damage one particular doctor has caused, though we will find out in a few weeks. Hobbit Maid seems to understand that if she does not follow MY directions--and I WILL find out if she has or hasn't--that she's not going to have a job.

On to better things!

Here are pictures of the Fur Children and their other mom. Sadly, our Funny Farm Family is down to two dogs and one cat, but we carry on (bathed in permethrin, doused in tick repellent, and wearing flea collars).

Biscuits in her second favorite spot to sleep.