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View albumHope dies Last
January 31
January 30
Worked for a while this morning then got a much needed adjustment on the back.
Still not sleeping worth a crap....and I am so tired of that.
Still mentally a basket case at times and I am REALLY tired of that. Grieving is hard and I am stuck in the anger portion and I am ready to move on from that and I keep spinning my wheels.
I KNOW that we can't think with our "gut" or our "heart". ALL thought processes come from the brain...I get that...but why is it that when you are grieving a relationship that you can "think" things that are rational, irrational, angry, loving, pissed off and pissed on all from the same brain. Why can't they all get together and come to a rational conclusion and lets move on. Because right now my "gut", my "head" and my "heart" are all over the map and the rest of my body is not real happy about it and is starting to revolt.
WOW.....what an AWESOME afternoon. Unbelievable.
Still not sleeping worth a crap....and I am so tired of that.
Still mentally a basket case at times and I am REALLY tired of that. Grieving is hard and I am stuck in the anger portion and I am ready to move on from that and I keep spinning my wheels.
I KNOW that we can't think with our "gut" or our "heart". ALL thought processes come from the brain...I get that...but why is it that when you are grieving a relationship that you can "think" things that are rational, irrational, angry, loving, pissed off and pissed on all from the same brain. Why can't they all get together and come to a rational conclusion and lets move on. Because right now my "gut", my "head" and my "heart" are all over the map and the rest of my body is not real happy about it and is starting to revolt.
WOW.....what an AWESOME afternoon. Unbelievable.
January 29
Catch up day on some things. Going to get a swim in this morning....(hopefully a run too) and having dinner with a friend.
Random Junk:
I've been eating like crap lately. Sometimes when I stress I don't eat or eat very little and loose weight. Other stress situations I eat like there is no tomorrow. WTF...I don't get it.
It has really been a joy training for the ING Marathon with EP. It is also nice to get back to a place where I love to run again. It used to be one of my favorite things to do and it freed my mind. Right now it causes my mind to go to not so happy places.....but it feels great on the body and the brain thing will work itself out in time.
Living alone is different....I have not done this, in my entire life.
Wonder why, when I thumb through a magazine I ALWAYS start from the back?
Run and swim didn't happen today. Had to go into work and move tables and chairs for a meeting for 350 tomorrow..fun and games. Plenty of good core work though.
Random Junk:
I've been eating like crap lately. Sometimes when I stress I don't eat or eat very little and loose weight. Other stress situations I eat like there is no tomorrow. WTF...I don't get it.
It has really been a joy training for the ING Marathon with EP. It is also nice to get back to a place where I love to run again. It used to be one of my favorite things to do and it freed my mind. Right now it causes my mind to go to not so happy places.....but it feels great on the body and the brain thing will work itself out in time.
Living alone is different....I have not done this, in my entire life.
Wonder why, when I thumb through a magazine I ALWAYS start from the back?
Run and swim didn't happen today. Had to go into work and move tables and chairs for a meeting for 350 tomorrow..fun and games. Plenty of good core work though.
January 28
Run
- 33m 31s
- 3.30 miles
- -----
Hill work with EP.
1.5 w/u
5/100 yd. hills 22-25 sec.
1.5 c/d
W/u & C/d were on the trail at Kennesaw Mountain.
Controlled effort since this was her first hill repeats effort....She did GREAT.
Started the new job today...I'll explain more later about it for those that have been so kind to ask. I'm excited about it and it should free me up to do some things that I have had to hold off on doing because of lack of $$$$.
Tomorrow morning I AM going to get caught up on Inspires and the MG....I PROMISE.
G'night.
Tomorrow morning I AM going to get caught up on Inspires and the MG....I PROMISE.
G'night.
January 27
Run
- 44m 42s
- 4.85 miles
- 09m 13s /Mi
At the River by my lonesome. Good run from a pace viewpoint....GREAT run from a mental approach. I wanted to stop and walk soooo many times but I NEVER DID. The bats were going nuts in the belfry and my mind was all over the place. But I didn't give in and I worked on some mantras and positive self-talk. Nice job Reno!
Busy day today...just the way I like it.
Hanging some backstop pads this a.m. for a school on the other side of town and then...shhhhh...don't tell anyone....I'm sneaking in a mid-day run ;) then I report to my NEW JOB to start some training. They are hiring me for a couple of weeks as a "contract employee" because she told me it takes a month to get people hired and she didn't want to loose me. Cool....either she is telling the truth or she is lying to just get me there and see if it works out.....either way, I got something to DO.
Had an interesting conversation last night with a close friend. Closure is still VERY hard and although I am a very quick healer my heart is slow to mend.
3:15 Update:
I am so lucky to have the friends I do....especially here on BT. Not only are they loving and caring as friends but some of them possess talents that are not apparent to just anyone. These talents are unique and they have a chance to turn them into a wonderful lifes work.......That's all I got on this at the moment.
Pads Done
Run Done
Work 5:00
Inspires Tonight...I haven't forgotten you guys
I love having productive days
Hanging some backstop pads this a.m. for a school on the other side of town and then...shhhhh...don't tell anyone....I'm sneaking in a mid-day run ;) then I report to my NEW JOB to start some training. They are hiring me for a couple of weeks as a "contract employee" because she told me it takes a month to get people hired and she didn't want to loose me. Cool....either she is telling the truth or she is lying to just get me there and see if it works out.....either way, I got something to DO.
Had an interesting conversation last night with a close friend. Closure is still VERY hard and although I am a very quick healer my heart is slow to mend.
3:15 Update:
I am so lucky to have the friends I do....especially here on BT. Not only are they loving and caring as friends but some of them possess talents that are not apparent to just anyone. These talents are unique and they have a chance to turn them into a wonderful lifes work.......That's all I got on this at the moment.
Pads Done
Run Done
Work 5:00
Inspires Tonight...I haven't forgotten you guys
I love having productive days
January 26
Swim
- 32m
- 1200.00 yards
- 02m 40s /100 yards
100 w/u
5 x 200 M.S.
100 c/d
Getting my feel back for the water. Glad to still be 17-18 strokes per 25 yds. Feel smooth...just no endurance.
Headed to the pool this morning. Hoping to work some kinks out of the legs from yesterday.
Heard about some good deals on KK Trainers in the Mentor Group I am in. Finally got on line this morning to order one and they may be out of the demo units I was hoping to get. :( Sent them an e-mail....We Shall See.
Heard about some good deals on KK Trainers in the Mentor Group I am in. Finally got on line this morning to order one and they may be out of the demo units I was hoping to get. :( Sent them an e-mail....We Shall See.
January 25
Run
- 2h 45m 10s
- 14.00 miles
- 11m 48s /Mi
Not too bad. Ran at the River with EP. Walked 2x 2 min. Disappointed in that. Only other walk was for nutrition/hydration 2x 30 sec each.
Some hills in the first 4 miles and flat after that....wind all the way.
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At the River. Started with EP, CL, JL and Me. CL/JL bailed with injuries at about 8. They haven't been running a lot so it's understandable.
EP was having GI issues and flaked at about 11.
Just me and the iPod to bring it on home. Last mile was 9:24. Yeah BABY!!!
GREAT run today. Only stops were for EP to hit the head and for us to grab some water and I left the watch running just like on race day. LONGEST CONTINOUS RUN OF MY LIFE. Last mile was 9:24. After doing the math at mile 15 I knew I had a shot to get under 3 hours...so picked it up a little...then it happened...on MY iPod...of all things.....
SHANIA TWAIN LYRICS - Man! I Feel Like A Woman!
OMG. I was almost in a dead sprint to get finished so i could turn that thing off.