Ochsner Ironman 70.3 New Orleans - Triathlon1/2 Ironman

Great swim for me. I'm slow, but I don't care. I had a lot of fun on this swim. The funny thing is on the way to the swim start we saw a bunch of critters in the lake. Not sure what they were but one dude said one was a gator and the other was a `river rat' ... I don't know what a river rat is but I know what a gator is and I was FREAKED OUT! Everytime I'd site I swore there was a gator in front of me. I just laughed it off, nervously, and kept swimming.

Swim faster?

I like to dilly, rally, I ran through an alley, I hooked up with this hooker named Sally from the Valley. So transitions always take a while. I got stripped by some hot volunteer, she totally wanted me. I could tell by the way she tore off my wetsuit and said `Good luck!' Yeahhh buddy. Anyway got into T1, dried the feet, threw on the socks and shoes and helmet and sunglasses and then sat for a minute. Just relaxed and envisioned finishing the bike, and then was off.

Get that chick's number. Because, again, she TOTALLY was staring at my package the whole time. And I know what `Good luck' means. It means `Ahhh yeah, it's businesstime. (IT'S BUSINESS. IT'S BUSINESSTIIIIIME. YOU KNOW ITS TIME FOR BUSINESS AND IT'S BUSINESSTIME.)

Awesome bike course. Big ups to the organizers for getting all the roads completely closed to car traffic. Amazing job, people!!!

Nothing. I did the best I could.

OK I completely lost my marbles in T2. Where do I begin. First I couldn't seem to rack my bike. I missed the rack twice. How the eff do you miss the rack with the bars? I dunno but I did. Twice. I managed to get my shoes on, helmet off and then started off. I got almost all the way to run exit, which was about 1/4 mile from my bike, when I realized I'd forgotten my watch on the bike. So I had to go back to get that. Then I had to dehydrate and when I did it was a brownish yellow color (TMI?) so I stopped at the water station in transition and enjoyed two big cups of water. Then I was finally off. What a disaster! I think I heard someone say `Nice onesy, dbag' but I knew Crowny wasn't there so maybe I was hearing things.

Uh, everything.

The run was awesome. I decided to just try to get in under 1:55:00 so I could break 6 hours and PR, but it wasn't to be. The heat was beating down and after the wind on the bike my legs were hurtin' ... a couple times my quads threatened to cramp but it didn't happen. I set out at an 8:30 pace and walked the water stops. I stayed on ALMOST a perfect 9-minute mile (walking water stops and hydrating to avoid death). I should've kicked it up a notch or two midway to ensure a sub-6 but everytime I tried I started feeling a bit woozy so I decided just to enjoy the race, chat up some folks and smile at the finish instead of looking wretched.

As I came down Decatur Street I was smiling the whole way. I couldn't wipe off the sh*t-eating grin, it was like it was permanantly plastered on my grill. I put both arms out and there were so many people I could high-five on both sides. As I approached the finish I pumped my fists and raised my arms and the crowd was screaming! WHAT A FRICKIN' RUSH!!!

Nothing. Awesome run, awesome people, awesome venue, awesome race.

Walked to the post-race party and saw Mama Bear and Little Bears, had a couple oranges and talked to a couple people.


Wind, heat and overall lack of training. But you know what, I don't care. I finished in the top 50 percent of my AG and had so much fun that it doesn't matter how long it took me. What a blast. I'm going to try to do this one again next year for sure.


I give this beeyotch a 5 out of 5. If you want to do an amazing early season race, do IMNO 70.3. You will NOT regret it!!!

Oh and thanks, mom, for the inspiration at mile 12.