Relationship issues in COJ

I second your opinion....  

Get a therapist or talk to your mate...    

I though part of my BT membership was free therapy....

No really I think a lot of people give out way too much info.  Sometimes people's partners don't wanna talk.   Some people just need to get things off their chest.   I'm cool with it.   Just don't let your spouse search through your old posts.....

Speaking only for myself of course, I did not come to BT to get advice.

Not Relationship advice, not training advice, and certainly not advice about how to live my life.

I came to BT because this is where a few of my friends came when another endurance sport forum lost it's home. I have since met many very cool people; more than a few who I would consider friends.

Of course, my friends do offer advice from time to time. Most all of it is carefully considered and always welcome.  but I think that is a different show.

There are really two compelling reasons I stay here on BT. My friends of course, but also because there might be something I can do for some newbie (Or not so new) who is trying to get his head around this sport.

That is not an offer of advice mind you, just an offer of support

Just to add to the "support group" idea.  Most people want to know they are not alone.  Even if only one other person says "I feel your pain!"  For some, this would be a place to find out that someone understands.  I personally avoid airing my dirty laundry even in a relatively anonymous setting, but I also know that even if I am discussing issues with my wife it would be nice now and again to have someone agree with me... you know, someone in my corner.  In the end, maybe that is what they are looking for; someone in their corner.

 ...just another .02 cents (pretty soon we'll have a dollar!)

I understand all of the above, really, I do. I have received TONS of support and advice and friendship here. But I am just stunned by the number of people who are willing to discuss the most private details of their lives in an open forum, and wonder how their spouses would feel.

I'd be PISSED. And as much as I occasionally need advice on my marriage, I would never betray my spouse here like this. A PM from time to time, to select few, but not so publicly.   

Well, at least from my perspective, that is it exactly.

I trained and raced alone for 2 years and although I found it to be a fulfilling experience, I was definitely missing something. There were no Tri groups in my area and so I was really out there all by myself every day.

Sure is a lot nicer when folks are here to offer nothing more than a quick, hey, nice workout, or even a HTFU when necessary

Not to judge anyone for exploring options that they see open to them, but coming here to seek answers would not be my first choice. (Or even my last choice for that matter)

Maybe some of the folks who are initiating these threads can shed some light on it. Maybe they are just don't have a whole lot of options for seeking help.

We do put so much time and effort into our training, more often then not, our social life takes a back seat and I am sure it is easy to find ourselves alone. (Without too many friends that is)

I am personally very lucky to have the friends (Both IRL and OL) that I have

When it comes to someone I have a relationship with, I try to exercise discretion. If I find myself hesitating when typing a reply, I often think "How might this be perceived by the person I'm writing about?" If I think they would object, I err on the side of caution.

I don't even like to put picture of the kids (nieces/nephews) on the site simply because I don't know who is lurking and what their motives might be. It's okay to expose myself, my thoughts, my life at my own discretion; not okay to expose my family, friends and loved ones.

People have different comfort levels in regards to personal issues. Some people post extremely intimate things; others wouldn't dream of even revealing their given names here.

BT is an extraordinary community even in the world of internet forums, in terms of composition, experience, activity, generosity. Posting nearly anything will yield a variety of responses, many of which one simply wouldn't have thought of. I can see how someone might want the plethora of different perspectives and resources, particularly when there's a complex issue involved.

Yes, I might be really pi$$ed if I were so-and-so's partner. But I'm not.

Wouldn't really be my thing either, but to each his own I guess.

The great thing here is that I've made lots of friends that we keep in touch with off BT (Yes, it exists.)  I'm more likely to share personal things with those folks.

I have noticed that people are very open here on BT, and as mentioned before, I think it is because there is a fair bit of anonymity here.  Despite the fact that you may meet 10 or 20 people over time, odds are unless it is a huge issue, people won't remember. 

For me, personally, I can't really discuss much "personal" unless it is just a joke, or a supportive comment, as my wife (em73) is a member of BT.  Besides, even if we do get to yelling at times *not always the good way* we are able to talk things out.  So, while I will lend my $.02 or even $.10 at times, I would probably not be a "poster."

Well, if my ex found out about the post I made about the total LACK of sex in the marriage, and she got totally livid, then...

I'd laugh my a$$ off.

Considering my wife knows about my training log on this site, I just assume that anything I say on here can and will be read by her.  That being said - the sloppy joes were really good tonight.

Different strokes for different folks.  (it is getting late b/c I think that is a good pun for today's high-traffic personal thread)