Just getting started on my life journey

Hi, my name is Wendy. First, I want to apologize for the really long post that follows below. I'm competing in my first tri tomorrow and I just needed to remind myself how far I've come and why I'm ready to tackle this event tomorrow. Thanks for letting me spill my guts!

I've been wanting to get into triathlons for awhile. I've been an off and on runner over the past 10 years, but have always suffered from stress fractures in my feet. I'm sure being overweight didn't help my cause much. That led me to purchasing a road bike a three years ago and I fell in love with the open road. I looked forward to every Saturday and Sunday, because I could "get lost" for a few hours and have my own "thinking" time. Two years ago, I started playing soccer and my weekends were spent on the soccer field and the bike started collecting dust. Earlier this summer I saw a few friends posting status updates about their triathlon adventures and decided I'd give it a go in late July. I'm not sure if it was peer influence or the fact that 30 was looming just around the corner and I didn't want to spend the next decade being unfit. So, I signed up for my first sprint tri at Deer Creek on 9/27.

The past two months have probably been the most fulfilling months of my life. The first day I got in the pool at the gym, I was humbled. I was never a competitive swimmer growing up, and apparently, I must have missed the actual "stroke" portion of swimming lessons as a child. I attempted the first 25m freestyle and I couldn't even get through it without feeling panic, being out of my element and so uncomfortable. I forced myself to get through 500m in that particular workout. I did a lap and would stop at the end of the pool, catch my breath and try the next leg again. It wasn't pretty. That was July 22.

My next humbling moment came a couple of days later when I decided to go for a ride. My idea of doing a ride consisted of mapping out a 30 mile route and thinking that I was going to be able to ride at the same intensity I had been riding a few years earlier (average 19 mph). It was hot, very hot. By mile 12, I was ready to call it a day and I was averaging around a 13mph pace. I even pulled my bike off to the side of the road around mile 19, and I had some kids roll by in a car and ask if I was okay. Talk about feeling embarrassed.

I was so ready to throw the towel in. I didn't think I was going to be able to do the tri. I almost even chalked it up to maybe I just can't do this. But a friend of mine, a fellow triathlete, called me out on it. And I was motivated again. If you sit around and don't do anything, of course things aren't going to change. We all have to start somewhere, right?

And then it hit. On my runs, I was once again plagued with pain. Only this time instead of a stress fracture I had severe numbness in my lower left leg after a few minutes of running. The numbness was so bad that I had to stop running, because I thought I would roll or twist my ankle. After a few minutes of not running, the numbness would go away. If I started running again, it was back. I went to the doctor the second week of August and he diagnosed me with chronic exertional compartment syndrome in all four compartments of my lower leg. He gave me two options: physical therapy or surgery. He said the likelihood of it going away without surgery was minimal, but suggested PT and re-evaluating after a month.

Once again, I felt like this triathlon I signed up for just wasn't going to be in the cards. Hell, a triathlon at anytime seemed like it wasn't going to be in the cards. My swimming stamina sucked, my biking stamina really sucked and now I looked like my body just really hated me.

But somewhere, in the back of my mind and with a little prodding from my friend, I decided to try to stick things out. I kept going back to the pool and every session, I was able to double my distance and take less breaks. I was beginning to feel accomplished. And then one day in the pool, I got to the end of my goal (60 laps) and decided to do 10 more, which really turned into 40 more. I couldn't believe that I had just swam 1.5 miles freestyle comfortably after 6 weeks of swim training. And that was just the momentum I needed. PT was helping and I found myself running 6 miles, 8 miles even 10 miles without severe pain and with plenty of energy. The bike was getting easier, but my biking sessions weren't as frequent as I would have liked. I got back up to riding 30 miles with an average pace of 17mph.

Somewhere over the past two months, I've gone from "I can't" to "I can". Everyday, I keep amazing myself. Sure I have some crappy workouts here and there, but the point is, I'm doing them and getting through them.

Tomorrow is Tri day. I went and checked-in for the race today. It was raining and I had planned on doing an OWS at the lake today, but I decided not to. Now that little "fear" voice is talking to me again.

Fear #1: I haven't done any OWS yet, because I could never get a buddy to go with me.
Fear #2: It's going to be cold and I don't have a wet suit.
Fear #3: Bike course looked really comfortable until I got to the very end. Big hills. I haven't ridden any big hills recently.
Fear #4: I'm going to be slow.
Fear #5: I'm already wanting to give up before I even try.

But then I stop, reflect and think. Two months ago I couldn't swim 25m without feeling like I was going to die, but now I can swim for an hour nonstop. I couldn't run for an hour and a half non-stop - maybe 10-15 minutes tops. I couldn't even ride my bike comfortably. But I CAN now. And for that, regardless if I'm super slow tomorrow, I have accomplished something. All I have to do tomorrow is finish. That's it. And tomorrow I can call myself an official triathlete upon completion of the course.