second thoughts
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2010-03-22 8:51 PM |
Regular 121 | Subject: second thoughts I'm feeling this last week like I am not sure I can do this. I think I can, but. . . Here are my two hangups: 1. I just do not have the amount of time to put into the training that I'd like to. I can give about an hour a day....and when I give that, I feel guilty about the way the house looks or not making a proper dinner for my kids. 2. Only 5 flipping pounds have been lost since mid January when I started training. I eat way less, I eat healthy foods, and I exercise like never before. People say I look different, but c'mon...5 pounds? If I were lighter, I know I could move faster. Currently, I am 5'7", 177 pounds and 40 years old. Advice, anyone? I feel like crying. oh....and my mom is referring to my tri training as a mid-life crisis. gee, thanks.... |
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2010-03-22 9:12 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Pro 4828 The Land of Ice and Snow | Subject: RE: second thoughts OK here are my thoughts. First off you have to get your priorities straight. Clearly your kids are your priority right now from what you wrote, and RIGHTLY so. The time you have left over is what you have to work with. It may not be as much as you would like , but it is what it is. Try setting some goals that would fit in with the training hours that you CAN devote and do not worry about what you cannot devote. Re the weight loss issue I suspect that you have probably decreased your bodyfat % and increased your muscle mass. Which are REALLY good things. The number on the scale only shows a very narrow view......and it is not the most important thing . Oh.....and when I started tri training my family also said it was my mid life crisis! But its not such a bad crisis to get if you ask me! Keep plugging away and try and think of your training as a long term lifestyle change that will pay huge dividends as time goes on......... |
2010-03-22 9:25 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Pro 6767 the Alabama part of Pennsylvania | Subject: RE: second thoughts Depending on your goals for a tri, you can get away with 7 hours or less a week. If you don't mind being BOP (it's kind of fun back here!), and are going to make your first race or three a sprint, it is very doable. If you access to a trainer and/or a treadmill, you can get in a lot of training when the kids go to bed. |
2010-03-22 9:27 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Champion 5781 Northridge, California | Subject: RE: second thoughts So it looks from your log like your tri is not until mid-June and is a sprint, so you've got a lot of time to work through some ups and downs. One thing that was important to me when I lost weight and started racing was that I didn't invest too much emotionally in how my first race went (it wasn't a tri...it was a 10K, but I'd still suggest the same attitude). That way, no matter how it goes, you can carry on with the process of getting fit afterwards and not experience a major letdown. Same thing with weight loss--it's unrealistic...even with consistent exercise...to expect more than 0.5-1.5 lbs per week. And most people, frankly, vastly underestimate the calories they actually consume (and overestimate the calories they burn in training). Getting into a "I exercised so I earned this pizza/3rd beer/ice cream/whatever" mentality during weight loss also can be a major self-sabotage. Just something to think about. I'm a huge believer in daily weigh-ins (most people aren't and there are good enough reasons for that), but I don't get emotionally attached to what I weigh each day. I take it as part of a lifelong process, that will have some ups and downs, but takes constant involvement. If you let racing or weightloss goals become too important, then it becomes hard to stay focused on the long range goals. You touched on family support (in both directions). You won't enjoy this or get a lot of benefit out of it if you find it impacting your family relationships (esp. with your kids) too much. But physicians recommend an hour a day of activity for most adults these days, anyhow, so it isn't unreasonable to try to build that into your life and see it as something that will be positive for your kids: They get something a lot of kids don't get, which is a healthy, active, parent setting an example for them to stay active themselves. And maybe it is a mid-life crisis. So what? I'm about to turn 50 and I'm on about my third (one divorce, one career change, one endurance sports obsession). All of them were actually about a vague awareness of mortality starting to say "Well, hello there" and bringing me up against the things in life I was genuinely unhappy with but was too unmotivated to do anything about earlier. Kind of what a midlife crisis is. Carl Jung--who kind of invented the term--saw it as pretty much inevitable and part of the development of a person over the span of a whole life. Sometimes what it leads you to can be amazing and positive. Hang in there...other than for the crazy folks among us who tackle an iron distance event and spend just stupid hours training...getting ready for a tri on 5 or 6 hours a week is definitely doable. Good luck. |
2010-03-22 9:34 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
New user 33 Hollis, NH | Subject: RE: second thoughts hey gomom_shell,i am in a similar situation, i have three small kids and i have trouble fitting it all in. Do you own a bike trainer yet? I bought a bike trainer a few months ago and do all my biking while watching tv after the kids go to bed. i find it to be a very efficient use of time. Maybe tell yourself that you can't watch tv unless you are on the trainer. As far as the weight loss goes, what i have found is that if you train for a triathlon you will lose weight. There is no doubt about it. I am just like you I am slowly losing lbs. If you can shift one of your top goals from weight loss to something else like finishing the race, or finishing the race in less than X time, or working out X hrs per week, or having fun, etc then i think you will be better off mentally and the weight loss will happen anyways. |
2010-03-22 9:35 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Veteran 238 Iowa | Subject: RE: second thoughts OH, YOU CAN SO DO THIS!!!!!! I am the same height and weight, but I am 41. I started training last year January, and over the summer did 5 triathlons...4 sprints and one supersprint. I have also struggled to drop any weight, but that is not atypical after 40. It will take some time for your body to become fit enough for you to really exercise efficiently and see the weight drop. When I started, I had never run a mile in my life and hadn't done any aerobic exercise in approximately 12 years. I also have very little time to commit to training...full time+ profession and 4 children ages 5-11. But, I decided I like sending a message about the importance of health and fitness to my children through example...not just talk. I would like them to view regular exercise as just as much a part of your normal day as going to work or school. I have struggled with my weight my entire life, I would like to spare them as much of that as I can. What I am doing is not only for me, but also for them...not only as the example, but also I can now be more active with them. Just takes more organization and planning for me. Sometimes I am even able to include them in my training sessions! And I actually told everyone that I figured this must be my midlife crisis...not a bad one!! If you want it, you will find a way...and if I can do it, anyone can Best wishes!! |
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2010-03-22 9:43 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Veteran 399 Puyallup, WA | Subject: RE: second thoughts You've gotten good advice so I will just offer encouragement. I went from 55, 273#, 30+% to 56, 232#, 17%; one Du, one Sprint, one Half Mary, on 4 hrs/week plus weights. I was in no hurry and my only expectations were that I would be healthier and feel better. Didn't care too much what the scale said and I was careful with the foods, not perfect. And for the events, I just wanted to cross the finish line smiling, having fun. It has been a good year & a half! Stay with it, it takes a bit to create a new lifestyle and believe me, you will like this one! |
2010-03-22 10:01 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Expert 1151 Las Vegas, NV | Subject: RE: second thoughts Totally in the same boat here, trying to balance full time work, young kids, efforts to lose weight, & training. |
2010-03-23 10:48 AM in reply to: #2741656 |
Elite 5316 Alturas, California | Subject: RE: second thoughts When I first started I didn't lose any weight for the first 2-3 months. I had to get fit enough to get my workouts over an hour before I saw the weight dropping. Yes 7 hours a week is pleanty of time for a sprint. You can get creative with the timing of you workouts, (early morning, late at night after the kids are in bed). I get a 6-7 mile run in during lunch break at work. But.... less stress, this is supposed to be fun and weight loss is a long term project. Obsessing about weight loss results in weight gain. Sustained weight loss is by forming habbits that result in an extra 100 calories burned here and an extra 100 calories not eaten there so that over months and years you get to where you want to be. The faster you drop it the faster it tends to come back. It is not so much a deprivation state as a reestablisment at a new, lower calorie level, slightly lower, with slighlty more exercise. Smile, this is fun. |
2010-03-23 10:55 AM in reply to: #2741656 |
Melon Presser 52116 | Subject: RE: second thoughts Do you enjoy the training? It really doesn't matter what other people say or maybe even whether you're getting the results you want. An hour a day is a LOT. Keep that up and you could eventually do a half-iron on that. You're doing swell. Pay attention to how you FEEL rather than the numbers. If overall you feel better and you like the training ... that's gold. |
2010-03-23 11:29 AM in reply to: #2741656 |
Expert 762 San Antonio, TX | Subject: RE: second thoughts Have a third thought and keep going. You are making awesome choices in trying to lead a healthier lifestyle. Your kids will benefit from your meal choices and your example. Most of your sprint workouts won't even take a full hour so hopefully you can squeeze it in. Don't worry about results yet. Just keep moving. As stated before if you went from doing nothing to working out but aren't seeing the weight loss it can A.) take time and B.) change your body make up which is more muscle (weighs more) and less fat. Use the way your clothes fit as a guide. I also wanted to mention that most of the info you get on here about nutrition and eating for for people going longer distances. If you follow their advice on how to eat and refuel you will increase your calorie intake beyond what your burning even if they are healthier choices. Example..If I'm not working out over an hour I typically don't NEED anything extra to help my body recover. Your regular diet should suffice. Just watch what and when your eating the foods you eat. Ie..if your eating a fruit for a snack make it a banana before a run not a second one because you are getting ready to run. Same goes for gatorade. Have a glass of water instead. Smoothies as a recovery food after a 30 min workout is not going to help you loose weight if added to the diet. However if you added protein and made it a meal replacement it would be ok. As for helping with meals with the kiddos. I hate trying to figure out what to cook and who has time. I use www.emealz.com and it is a god send for busy people. I can be dog tired and just look on the fridge and know what to get out and make dinner. The meals are very easy to make and you can usually make easy subs for items your family might not like. It does take a little longer to go grocery shopping but I have saved a bunch sticking to the list. One last thing. I would recommend you try really hard to use the logs on BT. They can really help you see your accomplishments when you are feeling bad and give you a shot of motivation when you are slacking and trying to fool yourself. (been there...) Good Luck and remember you aren't alone. |
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2010-03-23 12:09 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Regular 74 New Mexico | Subject: RE: second thoughts 1. Would you rather look back when you're 90 and wish you'd kept your floors a little cleaner, or will you look back and say "Wow, I had fun!"? 2. I agree that the kids are priority over training, but you can involve them. Show them that fitness is a part of the routine, cook dinner with their help. Show them how to make the right choices with food and exercise. You're giving them a gift! 3. Don't worry about pounds on the scale. I haven't lost a pound since August. But, I'm much more fit and my clothes fit better. Trust your friends - they are much less critical of you than you are of yourself. If they say you look better, you do! |
2010-03-23 12:23 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Elite 3471 Evergreen, CO | Subject: RE: second thoughts It's easy to feel overwhelmed trying to fit everything in, but don't let it get you down -- just do what you can do. If you can train while the kids are still sleeping you won't feel guilty about missing time with them. Or, like others have said, include them in your training or exercise while they're at their activities. It's important that you take care of you and you will have a longer healthier life being an active athlete which means more time in the long run with your children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I've lost only 10# since I started doing tris 3 years ago, but none of my clothes fit the same and I feel much healthier and happier. You may not notice the difference in yourself yet but others are. Hang in there -- you'll be glad you did! |
2010-03-23 12:45 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Master 2638 | Subject: RE: second thoughts In no particular order: |
2010-03-23 1:24 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Veteran 119 | Subject: RE: second thoughts Add me to the, "Me, too" list. I can generally scare up about 6-7 hours a week to workout/train. That's about 5.5 more hours than I was doing last year at this time. Still can't swim reall well, but I can swim a few laps at a time, and I know that if I keep at it, I will be able to seim the 500 meters needed for my first Tri in July. Also eat well and have added the training and have not lost one single ounce. But my legs are tighter and stronger. Measure the little victories. And have fun. My experience has been that is Mom is feeling good, everybody is feeling good. And vice versa. YOU CAN DO IT. =) |
2010-03-23 1:26 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Champion 19812 MA | Subject: RE: second thoughts I have five kids and at times they come train with me. 1. Swim when it is family swim and lap lanes so my kids play while I swim. They like it and I get a workout in. Some of my kids will join me in the lap area and swim for some time. My youngest enjoys this a lot and has since she was about 9. Of course if your kids aren't of the age they can swim on their own this wouldn't work. 2. You run and have your kids bike or scooter along beside you. 3. Trainer time on the bike you can watch TV with your kids while you workout. We watched two episodes of survivor last night while I did my workout. You have plenty of time to train for your race. I did my first tri when I was 42 and have done probably more than 40 since that first one. Be patient with the weight loss. Older you are as a women harder it seems for most of us to lose weight. I've lost a good bit of weight and had unrealistic expectations of what I could do. My goal was to lose 100 pounds in a year didn't happen but lost about 62 and now almost 7 years later still not to 100 but pretty darn close. I often workout 10+ hours a week and eat well only lean meats, veggies and protein -Paleo for Athletes, and in most years can lose only about 10-15 pounds. For me it is a lifestyle not something I do like diet and then it's over. My eating has evolved. Best thing for me and I hope this will be for you as well, my losing weight, training for tris has changed the attitudes of all my kids, my husband and others. My kids talk about nutrition and excercise and more than talk they try to eat better and excercise while having fun. My husband has lost 35+ pounds and started doing tris. 4 of my 5 kids have done triathlons. Kids learn by what you do not by what we say. Live a healthy lifestyle is one the biggest gifts you can give your children. You have done a lot...keep it up as your kids are watching and learning from your example. |
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2010-03-23 1:55 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Master 2216 | Subject: RE: second thoughts OK here are my thoughts. First off you have to get your priorities straight. Clearly your kids are your priority right now from what you wrote, and RIGHTLY so. The time you have left over is what you have to work with. It may not be as much as you would like , but it is what it is. Try setting some goals that would fit in with the training hours that you CAN devote and do not worry about what you cannot devote. Re the weight loss issue I suspect that you have probably decreased your bodyfat % and increased your muscle mass. Which are REALLY good things. The number on the scale only shows a very narrow view......and it is not the most important thing . Oh.....and when I started tri training my family also said it was my mid life crisis! But its not such a bad crisis to get if you ask me! Keep plugging away and try and think of your training as a long term lifestyle change that will pay huge dividends as time goes on......... Aquagirl is 100% correct here! If an hour a day is what you have to put in, then great! You're getting in good training w/out letting your children suffer. Plus, an hour a day for a sprint is AWESOME! Who cares about the scale. You're gaining muscle, which is heavier than fat. AND people are telling you, you look different. I probably don't need to get into the other benefits you're receiving. Have fun and don't sweat the unimportant stuff!! |
2010-03-23 3:18 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Champion 5312 Calgary | Subject: RE: second thoughts For what it is worth to hear it again, an hour a day is perfect to train to be involved in a race and to keep your body healthy (even though it may not look healthy). However it is probably not enough to drop a ton of weight real quick unless you are doing high intensity workouts, but that cannot be why you are doing it or else you would be doing high intensity workouts every day, and if you did high intensity workouts you would just injury yourself and be worse off than you were. I have heard someone say something to the effect of, "a day that I am too busy to run I am TOO BUSY." I imagine it is tough to prioritize exercise, but if you can find that hour a day, it will pay off in the end. |
2010-03-23 5:14 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Extreme Veteran 612 Chicago-ish | Subject: RE: second thoughts I did my first sprint tri last August after starting to train in May. When I started training I weighed 173 and when I raced I weighed 173. I finished in 2 hours with just three months of training which topped out at 4 hours per week. Since then I've increased to 6-7 hours a week and am shooting for an Oly this summer. I didn't start losing the weight until I started tracking my calories because even though I thought I was eating healthy I was still eating too much. Now I'm burning around 3000 calories a week in exercise along with eating the right foods in the right amounts and I'm now down to 159. |
2010-03-23 5:28 PM in reply to: #2743777 |
Champion 5781 Northridge, California | Subject: RE: second thoughts thndrcloud - 2010-03-23 3:14 PM I did my first sprint tri last August after starting to train in May. When I started training I weighed 173 and when I raced I weighed 173. I finished in 2 hours with just three months of training which topped out at 4 hours per week. Since then I've increased to 6-7 hours a week and am shooting for an Oly this summer. I didn't start losing the weight until I started tracking my calories because even though I thought I was eating healthy I was still eating too much. Now I'm burning around 3000 calories a week in exercise along with eating the right foods in the right amounts and I'm now down to 159. This can't be stressed enough. You can exercise 15 hours a week, but if you replace all the calories you burn you WILL stay the same weight. |
2010-03-23 5:53 PM in reply to: #2743793 |
Master 1346 Gold Coast | Subject: RE: second thoughts tcovert - 2010-03-23 5:28 PM thndrcloud - 2010-03-23 3:14 PM I did my first sprint tri last August after starting to train in May. When I started training I weighed 173 and when I raced I weighed 173. I finished in 2 hours with just three months of training which topped out at 4 hours per week. Since then I've increased to 6-7 hours a week and am shooting for an Oly this summer. I didn't start losing the weight until I started tracking my calories because even though I thought I was eating healthy I was still eating too much. Now I'm burning around 3000 calories a week in exercise along with eating the right foods in the right amounts and I'm now down to 159. This can't be stressed enough. You can exercise 15 hours a week, but if you replace all the calories you burn you WILL stay the same weight. x3 I have kept fit through a variety of sports all my life but I also love to eat and was probably kidding myself during those times I wanted to drop a few pounds and eating more because I was working out more. This year has been different. Ive dropped 7kg since mid January and Ive done it by being much more aware of how much and what Im eating, lowering carbs a bit, more veg, and over the past year Ive moved to cooking 99% of what I eat from scratch so I know what goes into it. I realise that isnt possible for everyone, I get a good head start on the weeks cooking on a Sunday, but it really helps me track precisely what Im taking in. As far as the rest - if its a crisis, ditto what others have said - its awesome! Keep going, if it makes you feel better and healthier then its good for your family too and they will appreciate that. An hour a day is plenty to train and really not much as far as time for yourself goes in the big picture of things - Good luck and keep it up! |
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2010-03-23 5:57 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Master 2158 | Subject: RE: second thoughts Hey there, I want to chime in. I work from home and am also the primary caregiver to my 7 year old. My wife works an hour away and is rarely home before 9 pm. You CAN fit it in. It takes creativity and dedication. I think you have gotten good feedback. I suggest you follow the advice given. Good Luck, it is worth it for the extra energy and well being! |
2010-03-23 6:21 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Extreme Veteran 371 | Subject: RE: second thoughts I'm turning 50 this year; I took up tri; I can't think of a better way to celebrate. Mid-life crisis? HELL YEAH! Hats off to anyone with kids that does this. I workout until I'm so tired I'm stupid. I have a hard time taking care of two outdoor dogs at that point, let alone other human beings. Hang in there. You're doing great. And the next time someone says "midlife crisis" tell them FU! Or if you want to be more diplomatic (not one of my strong points), respond with "well, do you think divorce and a new boy toy are a better way to handle it?" |
2010-03-23 6:27 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
Pro 4507 Simpsonville, SC | Subject: RE: second thoughts I think everyone here has given some solid advice. Do what you can, watch your calories, maintain your priorities. It is all about balance. And just one more thought. Do you have daughters? Do you want them to give up their hobbies and dreams once they get married and have children? I'm sure you tell your kids to dream big, work hard and they can achieve their goals. This doesn't stop once we reach a certain age or a certain stage in life. I'm a 40 year old mama of 2. I started this tri thing in 2004 at 172 pounds. I am currently 148 pounds and I completed my first ironman last year. You can do this. We are all pulling for you. Don't listen to the nay-sayers. It ain't easy, but you can do it Pam |
2010-03-23 6:32 PM in reply to: #2741656 |
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