Women - Write my wife a short story that will motivate her to join me in Triing.

What he said...it's your passion, not hers....let her enjoy watching and supporting you (assuming she enjoys that). Let her know that you'll be supportive if she wants to get involved at any level. Be sure you don't let your training take time away from her, otherwise she'll be resentful.

Not enough info here...is she into something like running but you're trying to convince her to tri triathlon? Has she shown any interest in tri?

FWIW, I have to disagree with the above, I don't see any reason not to try and convince her to do something that's fun and good for you like tri, plus you could train together. Just don't push too hard.

Once upon a time, a woman was harassed by her husband who would not accept that she was entitled to her own interests and hobbies. In a supremely misguided moment, he turned to internet strangers for advice on how to manipulate her into bending to his will ...

You guys must have special reading glasses, I only saw two sentences devoid of any real detail.

Too bad this is pretty much the guy's only interaction on BT, doubt we'll see him back this way.

LOL  You crack me up!

Why?

My advice is if she isn't it, she isn't into it.  My wife has no desire to train for multiple sports, but commends me having whatever "it" is.  Same deal with my kids, I don't push them into doing stuff... but they managed to both be involved in sports of their choosing, musicals at school, playing an instrument, etc.  I've asked them if they'd like to do a kids triathlon... zero interest.   

Dude this is your thing, not hers, just let it be. If she wants to come along, she will.

I can't imagine showing her this thread would be the least bit productive, as a matter of fact, if you can delete it, you probably should


"A fanatic is someone who won't change thier mind, and refuses to change the subject"

Winston Churchill

No nagging allowed! I was your wife once...my Dh was a CAT something or other! A very excellent cyclist and all around athlete. I was content to accompany him to events and hang out as the cheering squad. Now, 15 years later...I have become interested and do a bit more than he does. In her own time! Encourage, but don't nag! The biggest issue I had was when he would try to get me involved, he didn't take it slow enough for my previous fitness level. It was too hard for me and I became discouraged. I needed people that were more on my level to keep me going. It sucked for both of us...too hard for me and too slow/short for him and went nowhere!

Nope, you can't talk someone into doing something as big as a tri if they don't want to do it. Heck, if that worked, my husband would run with me all the time and enjoy it. The best that I can do is ask him when I'm going out for a run if he'd like to join me. 95% of the time he says no, but that 5% he will come with me and I'm glad that he does. I know he doesn't like it much, and I think if he did it more he might grow to like it, but that's his own decision to make.  

I agree that nagging her isn't a good idea, and that you can't make her do it just because you are doing it.

BUT -- you don't give much info about what her reluctance is or why you want to encourage her to take up doing tris.  Understanding the motivation or lack thereof would help. 

What might also help is this:  My motivation came from seeing others like me (read:  not perfect life-long athletes, but rather overweight, middle-aged moms!) complete and compete in races.  My journey to triathlon has, due to my blathering on FB, encouraged several of my friends to take up at least running, if not tris.  So seeing the benefits you've incurred will be a huge help. Also, rather than a made up story, share with her inspiring race reports from here or elsewhere (most useful from people she knows, but strangers can be of help, too).  Not to be self-focused, but I got a lot of positive feedback from my report from my first tri, so take a peek at that as an example, and I am sure there are many others that would be of help on this site if you dig. 

Try appreciating the flip side.

DH and I cycle and run together. He has zero interest in swimming. Tried it a couple times, and he just doesn't like it. Similarly, he has no interest in competing. We do a few run races together every year, but not tris. This translates very well to me having a most excellent "handler". My bike is taken care of, and he makes sure I have all my stuff for events. He cheers, does the cowbell and the event photography. Then makes sure my race addled brain isn't responsible for keeping track of anything afterwards. It is the best. We still have lots of bike etc purchases, but not double event fees. 

Is she interested enough to go and cheer for you? If so, you've already got more support than a lot of the guys on BT. Be sure you support her in her own stuff too.  

I love it.  My husband isn't interested in doing it himself.  As a result, I always have someone cheering for me along the course and caring for me at the finish.  Lately, he has started riding.  Now we can ride together from time to time and that is great for "date" time.  I cheer for him at his motocross races and he cheers for me at tris.  It is a win win.

My wife doesn't want to join me either.  She rides a staionary bike and watches her TIVO's shows.  I figure it's good that we both exercise and leave it at that.

Only if you will write my husband a story to get him to do a tri.

Or better yet, write a story to get him to clean the house more

She has been running about 18 miles a week for 3 years. She loves to bike although doesn't do it much. The swimming is the overwhelming thing. 

Edited by Karibu 2010-05-18 6:44 AM

Once upon a time, a woman man was harassed by her husband  his wife who would not accept that she was entitled to her his own interests and hobbies including not cleaning the house. In a supremely misguided moment, She turned to internet strangers for advice on how to manipulate her him into bending to his her will ...

Hope this helps

strikes me as a training partner and supporter. if she runs and every now and then bikes, she obviously appreciates the fitness side, if you have a wife who appreciates what you do, and you can share some time with doing it, even if not swimming and racing. that is a pretty good place to be.
My SO supports me in the racing and does the gym with me, she has zero interest in tri's, she is an excellent swimmer, very good endurance runner, but has no interest at all in the bike - none, so our discussion was very quick. But the bonus, I have someone who loves that I train, who enjoys watching me race either running or tri. I say let it be and enjoy a. the time you can train together if you can and b. the time you have to train by yourself/with buddies.
Oh and never underestimate a supportive partner on race day, the last section of any race is much better if your SO just yelled at you to pick it up :-)

Maybe she's not interested because you take too much time away from her to tri.  Maybe you spend so much time talking about/getting excited about tri, and not time with her.  Maybe to her, tri is "your other woman."  Have you tried including her in tri stuff, and giving up tri stuff to get interested in stuff she likes?

I'm sorry everyone thinks you're such a jerk. I really am.

Swimming can be an overwhelming thing for many people. There are lots of threads here about people who are nervous about it or haven't swam in a long time or have never swam long distances. If the desire is there, swimming can definitely be figured out! My suggestion would be to gift her some lessons at the local YMCA or other place. A couple of lessons can really put one at ease about swimming and will provide a good foundation from which to build good habits. Of course, being supportive and offering to swim with her will also help. Have her take her time building up her swimming confidence.

If she enjoys cycling then perhaps just offer to ride with her and plan out some nice rides.

If she enjoys running and cycling but is a bit overwhelmed by the swim, I would venture to say she's A LOT like many people who are getting into tri. She, of course, has to have some desire but I don't see why you can't try and get her involved, again, not pushing too hard and being respectful. If your SO can't help you get into new things then I don't see who can.

Oh one other idea that might be fun, do a tri relay with her. If she loves running you can do the swim and the bike, and she can run. It'll give her an intro into tri without having to worry about the swim and she might just catch the bug Whether she catches the bug or not, you spend time together, doing things you both enjoy.




Edited by merlin2375 2010-05-18 8:38 AM