Pacer Question

I would say part of it depends on your racer's goals - "just" to finish? a time goal? Win or podium spot?  Also I think a lot of personal preference is involved - what motivates some might not work for others.  

Number one thing I hate is hearing "You're almost there!" (with 20 miles to go, or any distance more than about 1/4 mile).  

What I would like is someone to take my mind off the last few miles, but then I'm usually just trying to survive.

I would just ask your runner (well before the race) what are his expectations of you, as a pacer.  

Good luck to both of you.   

Both you and your runner should know the race rules for pacers (they vary race to race) and it'll be your job to "remember" them when your friend is oxygen deficient or just wants to cheat. 

The runner should carry his own food/water.  You can generally run ahead and get what he wants so he isn't waiting.  You should find out whether pacers must provide their own nutrition or not.  The race shouldn't have a problem if you top off your water at the aid station, but may/may not have budgeted food for pacers. 

The runner should carry his own gear.  If he wants a jacket for later in the lap, he should tie it around his waist, not have you carry it.  (You might be prepared to finish the run after dark.) 

Neither of you should impede another runner (nor another pacer). 

Beyond that, it's usually trying to address the runner's "mental demons" late in the race including loss of appetite, fatigue, frustration, etc. and help the runner make safe decisions.  Don't be afraid to ask him how you can help him even if you asked 5 minutes earlier, he can be in an entirely different world (you'll probably be perceptive enough to figure it out).  The more you can focus on positives, you can focus your runner on positives (and the "almost there" with 10 miles to go isn't really "positive")  If he is accurately projecting arrival time to a landmark or aid station, let him keep doing so.  If he's not projecting, don't ask.  If he's consistently arriving later than his projections, shift the discussion rather than let him dwell on those "lost" minutes. 

I'll also suggest phrasing your questions carefully.  Instead of asking "are you hungry?" or "what do you want to eat?" (where "no" or "nothing" might be the response) ask him "cookies or pretzels?"  where the option of not eating isn't available. 

When you are on the tee don't bring up the sand trap, lake, or out of bounds.  They will likely hit it there.  Oh wait.  Thats the caddie....