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2005-10-23 1:33 PM

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Elite
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Subject: Cup of Joe: Starbucks

So...every once-and-a-while I treat myself to a large (I hate saying venti) cup of delicious Starbucks coffee.  My favorite is Sumatra.  My wife and I usually spend weekends sipping al fresco outside our local Starbucks.  I typically never pay any attention to what music is on...other than to notice its usually a relaxing blend of easy listening tunes playinf softly in the background.

Anyway, last week while warming my nose over a steaming cup of joe I notice there's no music playing.  I go inside and kindly ask the barista to turn on the jams.  He looks at me and winks.  Seriously...a wink.  What did that mean?  I went back outside and sat down, the music began to play.  Back to business.  For some reason I paid closer attention to what they were actually playing.  It was a Bob Dillon triple-play, followed by Joan Bias, then Neil Young and then Tori Amos.  Some of the bands I didn't recognize, but they all had the same underlying theme...Liberal (socialistic) music. 

I was so focused on what was going on that I unknowingly let my coffee get cold.  I listened intently wandering if this was a CD compelation that one of the employees brought in or if it were 'Muzak'' (sp).  Finally, the music paused for a station identification...it was a Starbuck's Channel...apparently from a satalite radio station.  I was being brain washed!!! 

Does Starbucks intentionally kick-up the caffeine content of their coffee so that the patrons are too buzzed to feel the Liberal mind-waves being forced into their ears?  I thought I was addicted to the coffee, but now I'm beginning to think that they are actually trying to control my mind.  What should I do!?  Aluminium foil hat?  Bring my own mixed-tape?  I'm confused...



2005-10-23 1:47 PM
in reply to: #270637

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Expert
713
500100100
WV
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
I vote for the aluminum foil hat!
2005-10-23 2:48 PM
in reply to: #270637

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2005-10-23 5:44 PM
in reply to: #270637

Science Nerd
28760
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Redwood City, California
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
Most retail stores now are using satellite radio for the music in their stores. There's some company that will put together music for your store based on some set of preferences and then it gets piped in over satellite. I work at J. Crew, so we get the same music all the time. Interestingly, we can only get two other stations over the satellite that we can listen to outside of business hours. Presumably, Starbucks has something similar. Maybe it was off because the employees were tired of the same music?
2005-10-23 7:57 PM
in reply to: #270637

Champion
5183
5000100252525
Wisconsin
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
It gets worse: I was at a local coffee shop (no monolithic greedy nationalistic colonizing individuality-sucking mom-and-pop-destroying Starsluts for me!), and I was LOVING the music, it was just great song after great song. Imagine my horror when, upon asking about it, I was told it was the Starbucks channel! My socialist liberal Joan The Goddess Baez loving ass almost caused a huge ruckus. Can you imagine that predatory corporate burnt coffee cult streaming itself into an indie shop? Will this madness ever end? We need you Che, right NOW!
2005-10-23 8:38 PM
in reply to: #270652

Elite
2863
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Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
Lara - 2005-10-23 2:48 PM

you could alway admit your a "Liberal (socialist)" get over it an move on

admit it..  you listen to NPR, subscribe to The New Republic, support PBS, protested the death penalty in college and only invest or do business with socially concious companies and locally owned retailers..  oh AND you purchased the last issue of organic gardening at the local whole foods market   how is the Volvo treating you these days???

next you'll be PMing me to ask my opinion of cities on the west coast

You know...maybe you're right.  I have been wanting to trade my Nike's in on Birkenstocks, grow my hair out and get a job and Ben & Jerry's.  I wonder what trade in value my BMW has towards a VW bus?  But...if I allow Starbucks and Ben & Jerry to transform me into a hippie, what will I do about triathlon?  Would my times improve as a free spirited, socially conscious tree hugger?  But if I lose my right wing, angry white male edge maybe I'll slow down.  I'm so confused right now...I need coffee.



2005-10-23 8:46 PM
in reply to: #270637

Champion
5183
5000100252525
Wisconsin
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
nah, your times would slow down, because you would realize that competition is a capitalist tool to supress the already powerless. You would simply do elementary backstroke in the water, ride your bike no handed, and skip the run leg, all the while singing Kum Ba Yah.
2005-10-23 8:56 PM
in reply to: #270767

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2005-10-23 9:01 PM
in reply to: #270778

Elite
2863
20005001001001002525
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
Lara - 2005-10-23 8:56 PM
I have been wanting to trade my Nike's in on Birkenstocks, grow my hair out and get a job and Ben & Jerry's.  I wonder what trade in value my BMW has towards a VW bus?  But...if I allow Starbucks and Ben & Jerry to transform me into a hippie, what will I do about triathlon?  Would my times improve as a free spirited, socially conscious tree hugger?  But if I lose my right wing, angry white male edge maybe I'll slow down.  I'm so confused right now...I need coffee.

see..  your confusing Group A) The birkenstalk wearing, hemp fabric weaving, save the rainforests and the whales, VW driving hippie liberals with Group B) The consumption motivated, Italian loafer wearing, it should be paid for by taxpayers (as long as it doesn't decrease my paycheck), bought something environmental sound therfore i should get a tax rebate, give money to save the latest cause.. but only after i buy the latest Bose home audio system, would voulenteer but i would have to give up my spa day, want to help everybody and make the world a better place but only after i am comfortable in my lifestyle..  i only do this so i can sleep better at night and consider myself a liberal Yuppie liberals..  i had you in the second group  

damn...  i've prob. pissed off so many people now it's not funny..  (this is all just humor)..

My fear was Starbucks was going to lead me towards group B.  Not to scare anyone here, but I'm so far right I think G.W. is a liberal. 

2005-10-23 9:23 PM
in reply to: #270780

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2005-10-23 9:25 PM
in reply to: #270780

Expert
783
500100100252525
South Bend, IN
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
Don't listen to these people... wink wink.... Having a conscience sucks. Keep the bimmer and roll. Guilt is a liberal currency. Republicans like cash.


2005-10-23 9:37 PM
in reply to: #270637

Extreme Veteran
563
5002525
Allen, TX
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
you're all

tools

.
2005-10-23 9:40 PM
in reply to: #270797

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2005-10-23 10:01 PM
in reply to: #270637

Master
1506
1000500
Minnesota
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
wow...our starbucks inside the barnes & noble plays classical music - no words...ya know - the old stuff - Bach, Tchaikovsky...
2005-10-23 10:03 PM
in reply to: #270637

Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
Dewd, we were in Starsucks this a.m. (I'm fully assimilated) and they were playing Sly & the Family Stone's "It's A Family Affair"..... I LOVE that song and hadn't heard it in years.

then they went to some cruddy tori amos/whiny chick stuff on a geetar
2005-10-24 6:11 AM
in reply to: #270772

Giver
18427
5000500050002000100010010010010025
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks

Heh...you said "capitalist tool"...

possum - 2005-10-23 8:46 PM nah, your times would slow down, because you would realize that competition is a capitalist tool to supress the already powerless. You would simply do elementary backstroke in the water, ride your bike no handed, and skip the run leg, all the while singing Kum Ba Yah.



2005-10-24 6:59 AM
in reply to: #270812

Veteran
249
10010025
Northeast
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
norakraemer - 2005-10-23 10:01 PM

wow...our starbucks inside the barnes & noble plays classical music - no words...ya know - the old stuff - Bach, Tchaikovsky...


That's because they're not Starbucks, they simply "proudly brew Starbucks coffee."
2005-10-24 7:57 AM
in reply to: #270767

Master
2946
200050010010010010025
Centennial, CO
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
Maybe we could give medals to everyone that finishes. Who needs to keep time. Maybe we could all just hold hands while we swim, run and bike. Maybe we could even give free time bonuses to people who are less in shape than we are so that everyone could feel good about themselves.

Hmmmmm...
2005-10-24 8:18 AM
in reply to: #270780

Champion
5183
5000100252525
Wisconsin
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
oipolloi - 2005-10-23 8:01 PM

My fear was Starbucks was going to lead me towards group B.  Not to scare anyone here, but I'm so far right I think G.W. is a liberal. 



oh my brother, I am not scared of you, but I will pray for you....


and Lara, YOU are TROUBLE, woman! And I like that!
2005-10-24 8:22 AM
in reply to: #270637

Elite
2863
20005001001001002525
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks

.

This morning I tried something different.  I went to a local coffee shop called Scooters just to try them out and see if they too were part of the liberal conspiracy.  I walked in...mild music playing...couldn't pin-point what artist or genre.  I stepped up to the counter and ordered a large (notice I didn't use the French version Venti) coffee, black.  The barista responded with a thick Russian accent.  I swear, this woman was Russian or something similar.  I think I might of had a strange look on my face when she spoke because she looked at me quizzically.

What does this all mean?  Socialist music satalite stations at Starbucks.  Russian counter girls at Scooters.  There's something going on here.  Tomorrow I'll check out our newest coffee joint, Caribou Coffee.  They're another national chain.  I'm guessing they'll be part of this same conspiracy...we'll see.

2005-10-24 8:26 AM
in reply to: #270637

Elite
2421
2000100100100100
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
Just so long as it doesn't have that same "raw sewage" taste that Tweek's coffee has, then they're all the same to me.

bts


2005-10-24 9:33 AM
in reply to: #270942

Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks

Damn! You've uncovered the liberal grass roots mind control through coffee consipiracy! You have been reported to our leader Juan Valdez. You will have to be killed.

All us real liberals know better than to partonize Starbucks, or to drink coffee. We drink Mate.

2005-10-24 10:00 AM
in reply to: #270637

Extreme Veteran
604
500100
Northwest Ohio
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
About 20 years ago, I went to see our family dentist who I always thought was kind of eccentric. (when you're old, you're eccentric instead of just a weirdo! )

He told me that he was no longer going to be putting metal fillings in his patients' teeth because the Russians were sending over radio signals that could be picked up by our metal fillings and then all this communist propoganda was being fed into our subconsious brain without us even knowing it.... I looked at the drill in his hand a let out a nervous giggle as I began to realize that he was serious and not joking..... (and that's the last time I ever went to see him!)

but you know... if he was on to something, and other dentists quit using metal fillings, then the communists had to resort to other more devious tactics---like attacking through the muzak in our coffeehouses! Of course, if you look at the metal in the mouths of some of the rappers, and some of their behavior---I don't know, we could probably go wild with some sort of conspiracy theory---
2005-10-24 10:15 AM
in reply to: #270942

Philadelphia, south of New York and north of DC
Subject: RE: Cup of Joe: Starbucks
oipolloi -

What does this all mean?


You may be right.

I think in Moby Dick, Starbuck tried to stop Capt. Ahab's pursuit of the Great White Whale.  So Starbuck may be the first "Save the Whales" literary character!

2005-10-24 10:15 AM
in reply to: #270637

Sydney Australia
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