kid in school stuff

Yikes! That was a little harsh for 7th grade. Did he do the report for you at home first? Did he fulfill all of the criteria set forth in the assignment? If so I would discuss it with the teacher.

I didn't think of the "rehearsal" thing.  In hindsight, maybe we should've.  Yeah the criteria was met, I still have the paper.  It was a powerpoint presentation, so he just basically had to narrate it. 

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I agree with Lara.  You should not only talk with the teacher about what she expected in addition to what was outlined on the instruction paper.

But more importantly, I'd take her to task about her comments in front of the class.  Was she trying to make an example of your child?  Didn't she ever learn that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?  WTF?  I'd be livid is someone said something like that to ME, and even more so if she said it to a child!  I think if one of my teachers has dressed me down in front of the class like that I would have cried right there and then.  Hell, I'd cry today if someone said something like that to me in front coworkers or clients.  Corrections and repremands should be meted out in private, IMO.

And we wonder why kids don't like school.

I'd really like to hear a teacher's POV, but Shellee's still at work right now. 

Edited by madkat 2005-11-04 4:55 PM

I definitely don't think you'd be out of place asking her why she said that. It's not constructive in any way, shape, or form. She could have said something like, "your slides are nice, maybe next time experiment with some different fonts..." etc. The way we are taught to teach swim lessons (I know, miles away, but stick with me here) is that even if a kid's stroke is not "Textbook" or sloppy, there's still some good in them just doing it. Always compliment on something first, and suggest changes for next time. I'd definitely talk to the teacher, stuff like that can really be a downer for kids...makes them hate school, which leads to a bunch of other things. Middle school was a really rough time for me emotionally, and I feel very lucky that I had teachers who really watched out for me and made school enjoyable.

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Hey Lucy,

Well it probably wasn't the best thing to say in front of the whole class. For a teacher to go there with a comment would to me indicate a high level of frustration with a particular student. I have long thought that every parent who finds fault with teachers should be required to spend two weeks as a teachers aid in the same school at the same grade level their child is attending to get a feel for what teachers are up against.

As a parent you are in your child's corner - this is a good thing. The teacher is in your child's corner as well. For the most part teachers want their students to do well. I would suggest that you start with asking for a meeting with the teacher and with the vice-principal assigned to that grade level. I would suggest that you not meet one on one with the teacher. Having an administrator present works for both you and the teacher. YOu both have a third party who is interested and has years of pedagogical experience on which to draw. This give you the assurance that someone in authority is informed and to whom you can speak in the future if things do not improve.

I am a teacher (not practicing right now, but taught 7th gr comp science, HS English and Spanish for a total of 7 yrs) and it is NEVER appropriate to call out a kid negatively like that in front of his peers. Definitely speak to the teacher first, nothing drives a teacher more bonkers than being "called in" by the principal-- most teachers would far rather be approached directly and deal with it. Additionally, from my experience, kids often misunderstand or misinterpret or embellish A LOT of what teachers say, most of the time not even knowing it. They just feel so rotten anyway, they just sorta pile on the abuse/only hear the negatives. It used to floor me when parents would call me irate that I called their kid a name or something which I never did. Or the kid would report that I said, "The paper was terrible" when I really said, "It is clear that you worked terriblye hard on this..." So it is really important your son is really hearing what is being said, and if the teacher is not being clear or is inapproprioately using sarcasm and he doesn;t get that, well, that's uncool. I had to learn not to be sarcastic with middle schoolers after having worked with HS kids who speak in almost connstant sarcasm!

middle school is MISERABLE for most kids, as they are at a time and place where they and their peers have the least in common, they are all at diff developmental places (much more apparent in MS than ES or HS where it tends to even out) and they are so totally unsure of themselves. And clasroom teachers have to manage such a wide range of levels. To kids, "different" = "bad" , and it is heartbreaking, especially as it applies to learning styles, and if your son is the least bit a non-traditional learner he has it even worse.

Practically, if he does what the assignment is ("what the paper said to do") and doesnlt recieve at least a satisfactory grade, you need to figute out a way for him to be VERY clear on the expectations (called a rubric in educationese!) Somewhere was he told how long it should be? How many slides? specific fonts? As a teacher, my rubrics always very specifically laid out the deal:

name on project=2 pts
in on time=2 pts
originality=10 pts
risk taking=5 points
accurate coding=20 pts
sources cited=2 pts
use of no more than 3 colors=2 pts

etc etc. so in the above case, the kids should know almost exactly what he is getting going in. Sure there is some subjectivity, but that way the kid can ALWAYS get 2/2 for name, 2/2 for in on time, etc. if he is a rotten detail kind of a kid, he will lose points on the code, but he can make up for it with an original idea...

anyway, I think it is really important that your son learn to communicate w/ his teacher if he doesn;t understand why he got a grade, or EXACTLY what is expected for each project. I am sure you can help him with that, ask for assignments to be written down for him vs just being spoken aloud, etc. I don;t know his learning style details, but it breaks my heart that he is struggling in school, and you have every right to go speak to anyone you want at school to try and get some support and answers. Good luck. sheesh, I wrote too much, I'll butt out now

ABSOLUTELY inappropriate. A teacher should NEVER, EVER humiliate a student in front of his/her peers! Especially at that age! That enrages me and it's not my child! I would address it, no question. I might go to the teacher first.

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is there an update?
I'm worried about this little guy!

very inappropriate! definately talk to the teacher to find out his/her side of the story. my daughter (pre-k) came home with a story that made it sound like her teacher denied her snack in front of class. turned out her teacher had only told her that she wouldn't have a place to put her snack if she kept shredding her napkin. granted, kindergarten and 7th grade are worlds apart, but what you child experienced may not have been what the teacher intended. still, its better to find out. if your child is already struggling, it can't hurt to have a good dialogue going with his teacher and even the principal. best of luck.

I would grab this 'educator' by the neck. Seriously I think that is highly innappropriate. Go right to the pricipal.

Thank you for this thread. Not for the situation, but bringing it up. That is terrible, and I feel for your son. My son is in second grade and somewhat of an anxious kid. He needs structure. This entire school year to date has been a struggle due to the teacher's "style" which is very "seat of the pants".

I guess the point being, there are a lot of awesome-sounding teachers responding here. Unfortunately, the day comes when one of our kids has a teacher that for whatever reason doesn't work out with our child. TALKING to that teacher is in some ways like talking to a defensive person, IMHO. The defensive person doesn't SEE THEMSELVES THAT WAY, so any discussion you may have is listened to, but ultimately little quality change is made. My son's teacher is not going to suddenly become Mrs. Organized. We have asked her to be more structured with our son as much as possible, and beyond that...what can we do? FYI, small catholic school, one class per grade, one teacher only. We could go to the public school, but the teachers above 2nd grade here are awesome, and it seems drastic to yank him out.

Anyway, this is 90% vent, and I hope on subject enough where it's not a complete hi-jack. Good luck Lucy.
Dan

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