How to change a flat tire in just over 1 hour!!! LOL

Hey, I changed my first flat tire last week and it only took about 70 minutes or so. Want to know the key points in my method?

1 - Make sure that the person that teaches you is your spouse or SO
2 - Have your own children around to pester you every few minutes with questions/requests/ arguments/etc. and make sure there are at least 4 other friends of theirs around to add to the mix.
3 - Don't just settle for replacing the tube....you MUST find the hole, no matter how long it takes! It is best to have a spouse with an engineering-type background for this and a real NEED to solve the problem the RIGHT way. It also helps if you don't even have any new tubes that are the correct size.
4 - Practice with a CO2 cartridge just to see what they are and how they work but get a defective one where the cartridge never actually gets punctured.
5 - Have a friend of your neighbor go into labor (yes, I mean childbirth!) and drop off their other children at your neighbor's house minus important things like diapers which your neighbor then requests of you because she has none of the correct size and the little ones need to go to bed NOW.
6 - Above all, make sure you start late enough that it is getting dark out and you are very tired!

After all of the above, however, the tube did get patched, the tire was replaced, and it stood up to a ride quite nicely, thank you! On the other hand, I don't think I am ready to remove "learning to fix a flat tire" from my list of short-term goals just yet. I do think that if "tri-ing" is about perseverance.....I may have it made!