Psychology behind Stranger Scolding

Because there are people in the world who go through life like they're the only ones that matter?

Just cross your arms and blink them into a very crowded Walmart with 2-3 carts blocking them in from both directions, all with families of 4 walking up and down the isles.

I don't understand why it would be an issue of the yelling person being selfish.  That doesn't make any sense to me.  If they were selfish, they'd be gaining an advantage by having you move.  It seems to me they yelled because one person (you with your cart for example) was holding up the people in that particular aisle.  Next time, just thank the person, "Thanks, sorry, didn't realize I left it there," and move on...and more importantly, never leave your cart in the middle of the aisle.

It's probably not a "control" issue...the person just said what the others in the aisle were thinking.  

Exactly. Like I said, some people live their lives like they're the only one that matters.

I think it's rude to talk to a condescending way to strangers so should I tell that to the person who's yelling down the aisle?

This is why I always carry a gun.  Grocery-store manners enforcement.  It's a common problem.

Ha! What manners????  It would help if people had them anymore but they are too busy on their cell phones.

The stores themselves create the problem.    They give you ginormous carts that are supposed to fit  in these thin aisles.     Then they put extra displays etc on the floor space that is left.    Its a crazy set up.

Wal-mart does this for an example,  and its a miserable experience.    Target clearly considers this to be a problem and has wider aisles.  

How about instead stranger scolding,  people let the scold the stores that place them into that scenario to begin with.  

Boycott Wal-Mart.  Problem solved.

Depends on how you told them. If you tried to help or change the situation that is fine but if you just drove by and yelled out the window "you know the baby could die that way" than drove off then that would be a jerk move.

I'd have to think of a scenario in which whatever the person is being scolded for truly neither actually nor potentially affects any other person.

I applaud this when safety is always a concern.  Nothing wrong with redirecting the kid thats walking too close to the subway platform edge b/c the parent is texting. As long as its done with love as opposed to self-righteousness.  And in keeping with the grocery theme, I'd love for people to say to the express lane violators, do you really think that is less than 15 items?  when they clearly have 50+.  I'll admit, I haven't done it, but I would love for more people to be called out on their complete disregard for rules.  Thats being selfish.

I will also say something to kids if I see them acting completely out of line and there isn't a parent present.  Even with teens I found a simple "you know better than to act that way" or "would your mother like you behaving like that?" does wonders. They'll curse you b/c they are embarrassed, but they will usually stop.  I think if we all did this a little more, like the neighbors correcting your kids, they'd all have more respect for adults.  Think of how society used to behave in the 50s.

but thats the teacher in me.

Okay, well, given such a scenario, I have no idea what the scolder is thinking. Crap, I don't even know the psychology behind what I myself do half the time.

I would say most of the time the scolder is acting on what they think is right (which doesn't happen to jibe with what the scoldee is doing, and I have no idea why that person is doing what they are doing either).

jazz82482 - 2012-02-06 11:02 PM

TriAya - 2012-02-06 9:43 AM

I'd have to think of a scenario in which whatever the person is being scolded for truly neither actually nor potentially affects any other person.

Oo- I can think of an example.... I ride the bus every morning, and this morning, the bus was at a stop, letting people on. The driver closed the doors, and was about to pull away, when someone came running across the street, made the driver stop and let him on. OK, fine. Then, this same passenger pulls the 'stop request' cord, immediately upon boarding the bus to be let off at the next stop, which is literally 700 feet away. Huh? So this same guy was standing in the front of the bus, basically AT the front door, next to the driver. At the next stop, as all of the passengers try to get off the bus, through his (front) door, he is weaving his way through all of them, to exit via the BACK door. He had to bump/make contact with 7 people to exit through the back, when he could've been the first one out the front door. WTF? Did he deserve a public scolding? Nothing about his behavior had any 'real' affects on other people. Some physical contact, and delaying the bus 5 seconds, but his seemingly selfish behavior really rubbed me the wrong way this morning. He had no obvious physical impairment, because I saw him running across the street to catch the bus- so why delay everyone else to take the bus 700 feet, when busses show up at that stop every 2 minutes? It's possible he got on the wrong bus, but the direction we were going is the way every bus goes, and there isn't a significant turn off for about a mile, and besides, he pulled the cord as soon as he got on. And finally, Why the HECK couldn't he have gone out the front door, instead of pushing through to the back!?? That was the final behavior that made it clear he was acting 100% selfishly and never once thought of anyone in the universe besides himself. Thank you for letting me rant, have a nice day

Hey, it's COJ, rant away

Sorry, but all of that DEFINITELY affects other people. In all sorts of ways. And it's against THE RULES and several LAWS.

Maybe a scenario could be that an adult man dressed in a skeezy stained wifebeater and too-tight small shorts is playing in the sandbox in the playground. The sandbox is not crowded, he's not talking or interacting with anyone ...

It ain't illegal, it ain't affecting anyone, but it's just effing weird! That said, I probably wouldn't scold the guy.