Psychology behind Stranger Scolding (Page 3)

BWAHAHAHA!

appropriate thread for what I thought I saw today...I didn't say anything because I was not 100% certain it actually happened.  a couple of chairs down from me, I thought I saw out of the corner of my eye a mother face slap her ~2 year old.  

You can bet your butt I would have said something had I actually seen it.  The whole problem there though, is if I call her out in public, will the kid get it two-fold once "scolding strangers" aren't around?  

Wow, you disappear for a day......  So I take it the consensus seems to be public monitoring is to be encouraged by most posts.  I guess if I'm walking along and see someone do something I otherwise might not do, but said scofflaw's behavior might otherwise affect negatively someone else, I just keep on moving.  I'm talking your average everyday annoyances, not, say guy getting mugged on the street.

I guess I'm in the MYOB mode, so i just don't get why someone would feel the need to publicly correct others.

I'll go back to the grocery store scenario -- which was just a hypothetical in this case -- random shopper decides they don't want something and just deposit their frozen items in the beauty supply aisle....You walk up and say "Hey buddy, that's gonna go bad before someone discovers it, why don't you put it back where it belongs?"

I suppose I'm puzzled by the "control the world's movements" aspect of some people's behavior with regard to public scolding.  And I specifically meant to those not affected.  (and Ok, let's not get too abstract and say the meat will go bad, ergo prices will rise, thus somehow affecting me, LOL)

It's one thing, say, to be in a movie theater, guy's chattering on his cell phone, that affects me, I of course am going to turn around and say 'hey dude, can you turn it off?"  

Again, I'm specifically referring to happening upon a situation where you have no interaction with the person, other than they feel the need to intervene in what they see as some sort of wrongful behavior on your part, had they not said a word, you'd never known they existed.

In the grocery store analagy I really don't see a blocking cart = food left to spoil.   A cart left in the parking lot - nothing from me unless it is rolling into cars - mine or others.    A blocking cart  in isle no where near me - nothing.   In my way -  a quiet "excuse me" as I make my way past.    But I would totally out someone leaving frozen food in the wrong place - that is just wrong to let food go bad.  If it was crackers left that will not spoil - no comment.   Littering - yes: "excuse me - you dropped something".   I believe litter affects everyone and there is no reason for it.    Big person abusing a small person - complete intervention/police alert. 

Are you familiar with Ultimate Fighing Championship?  I'm pretty big, but some of those small guys would kill me.  If you see me being abused by a small guy, please do me a favor and call the police.  Thanks.

Spoiled food that cannot be resold drives up retail prices, affecting all of us.

And if everyone would just be a vegetarian or go vegan, it would save the planet for my next life :D

Seriously, in my poor example, I would just put it back myself.  I guess I don't see myself as the social police WHEN THE BEHAVIOR IS NOT DIRECTLY AFFECTING ME, or affecting someone who cannot help themselves (i.e. a child).

Not scolding.

"Social feedback"

Sometimes people need a little social feedback in terms of what they are (or are not) doing. 9 times out of 10 I let it go, but sometimes I feel compelled to say something.

Yes, I will help you, Goosedog.

This is where the selfishness actually comes in. It's selfish, or at least uncourteous, to be unaware in a crowded, public place. People don't get to just be oblivious and let everyone else compensate for them.

Also, I would very much want someone to politely inform me if my fly was down or I had food in my teeth. The difference is that these situations can happen without me knowing, but when I go to the grocery store, I know there will be other shoppers there and I know that I have to share the space with them.

I tend to take another approach - I try to resolve the situation.   Yes, if I had to stop a child from falling onto a train track I would simply say "Hey...".   But in the scenario of a cart blocking my way (because this is surely on my list of top 10 pet peeves) I have a system.  First I say excuse me, politely, and hope they acknowledge and move.  If they don't, I say excuse me more loudly assuming they didn't hear me.  If they don't, I simply move their cart and pass.  I wouldn't inform them their actions are making things difficult exactly.  Or the case of the carts in the parking lot.  If the person who leaves a cart recklessly is there (they never are...) I move their cart and put it in the cart corral so they can see.  Maybe I am scolding with my actions.  Maybe they think "Good, she's done the work, lucky me."  Whatever the case, I have resolved it well enough for me.  I would definitely call the cart of frozen food to the attention of a store worker to take care of. 

I will, however, scold my husband.  He needs to know how to behave!  

Obviously, carts should be abolished and the world would be a better place.  This is why I shop with a basket.

As an owner of restaurants and other businesses, I always appreciated it when customers brought issues to my attention instead of attempting to resolve them alone.

I had both actual and recognized authority, as well as a catalogue of appropriate responses for most situations.

Even now, in most circumstances, if I can, I defer back to management to control the situation. 

For frozen food or spills, or inappropriate behavior in the store, I simply let the manager know and they deal with it.  For more sever issues out and about town, I call the non emergency police number and report it. 

 As I drive around Las Vegas all day, I see plenty that gets my goat.  If confronted everyone, I would have no time to do anything else.  So I pick and choose my fights, and not too many of them.