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2012-02-22 2:15 PM
in reply to: #4060840

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Champion
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Its Only Money - 2012-02-22 1:44 PM

I think you did the hardest part and said you want to stop drinking.

It was so easy I said it hundreds of times.



2012-02-23 2:13 PM
in reply to: #4056558

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

I went to an AA meeting at the advice of most of you here....

I don't think it's my thing.....but idk.  Maybe I'll give another one a chance.

2012-02-23 2:23 PM
in reply to: #4063019

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
RushTogether - 2012-02-23 2:13 PM

I went to an AA meeting at the advice of most of you here....

I don't think it's my thing.....but idk.  Maybe I'll give another one a chance.

Either way, I'm glad you went.  I went to several meetings before I found a good fit.  I'll be attending mine tonight, and I'm even excited to hit up a meeting when I'm on vacation next week...

2012-02-24 8:52 AM
in reply to: #4056558

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
I am happy for you, Tyler, and I wish you success. Like many have advised already - don't beat yourself up if you find that you need to let certain people go in order for you to make this change. It doesn't mean you don't love/like them; it just means you aren't on the same path. This was probably the most difficult thing for me. I had buddies that I had been drinking with for 2 decades. We played sports together weekly, took trips together, etc...but, all of it always had drinking as a common denominator. When I told them of my decision, they were supportive in words, but not actions. They'd "allow" me to fall completely off the wagon. I couldn't understand why they would do this, if they were my closest friends. Then a dear neighbor and recovering alcoholic pointed out to me one afternoon that I was foolish to look at my friends and expect that my problem should also be their problem. It was an eye opening moment for me. For the first time I realized that being sober was my personal journey - it was going to be unfair to others for me to expect them to change their lives to support mine. I learned that my sobriety had nothing to do with my wife, my family, my best friends...it was all about me. If my wife has a glass of wine - she is not sabotaging me. It is life; I had to learn to deal with it. Some people I had to let go; I simply could not be responsible around them. It's funny...after you let them go and move on with your life you find new things to fill the holes. New people come into your life, or you find that you are happier with less people; either way it works out.

AA was not for me for the long haul. However, I would encourage you to really give it a hard look with multiple group visits and developing a relationship with a sponsor before you make your final decision. I have many friends that AA has been the absolute difference in their journey. Whether the groups are for you in the long haul, or not, I have found the 12 Steps to be a wonderful thing. These really do help you work through things. I learned much through AA. In the end, for me the AA meetings became too negative and felt like Groundhog Day. I would leave feeling worse spiritually and emotionally - it just wasn't the right relationship for me long-term. But that is my path - for you it could open up into a perfect fit. Either way - GET A SUPPORT SYSTEM. Find a person, or a few people, that understand your decision and what it means. Stay in close contact with them. Call when you feel a "twitch." Talk it out. Get through it. Just don't take a drink. It will pass and you will gain strength from working through the urges. However, the urges will never completely disappear - so be aware of that. Accept it. Life truly is much more fun and beautiful without the haze of alcohol (for those of us who could not control our consumption) - but, you will find the urge comes at the oddest times down the road. You can be in a party full of people drinking and nothing hits you. Then you can be driving across Kansas and a certain song you haven't heard in forever comes on the radio and "boom" you're off thinking about how great a drink would be.

Like someone said earlier - training helps you physically/mentally deal with this. Finding new interests is good. But, you still have to spend the time dealing with your alcohol problem. If you just try to put new things in its place - you will probably have great success for a limited time, but then the wheels will come off.

I am available, too - just PM me. I fear this post may have been a little strong, or overwhelming. I cannot stress enough HOW MUCH BETTER LIFE IS WHEN YOU GET CONTROL OF THIS. Emotionally you will level out and you will be amazed at how that feels...to be consistent...it's a wonderful thing.

Good luck!
2012-02-24 9:47 AM
in reply to: #4056558

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Also, even if you don't like the meetings, pick up the Aa "Big Book" and read a few stories.  AA was basically started by one guy who sought out help from another alcoholic.  The AA organization went from those two guys to millions of people today.  There are very few paid jobs within AA, and they have written the twelve steps with everyone in mind.  It's an amazing story, and it's world wide now.  A guy in my meeting last night had to travel to Quatar last week.  He found a meeting there even though it's a dry country..  I sent a simple e-mail for my vacation next week and found seven meetings near where I am staying..
2012-02-24 10:13 AM
in reply to: #4056558


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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
it's been  over 14 years. i don't count days . don't worry about the past . just start today , all you have to do is one day at a time. it not easy , go to a meeting and take what you need from it. i stopped drinking a thousand times , but when you make a real  a conscience decision to stop and understand that drinking is killing you  , then you are ready. good luck just sent me a pm it you would like to speak about it. it's up to you , all the help in the world will not help it you don't want to stop. you have to help yourself and let others help you.  only you know when you are ready to stop..you have the rest of your life to live. after a few a years now. their is no doubt that i would be dead. ps .. on my first day of not drinking i went to a meeting. a guy said ' if you think you have a problem  you probably do' i will always remember those words... and he was right.


2012-02-24 10:24 AM
in reply to: #4056558

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Champion
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Bellingham, Washington
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

If you are ready to quit, then do it.   I equate it to stopping smoking (which I have done- 1 June 2002)

It's a day at a time and you control it.  The first weeks will be the worse.  Use some help from others,  keep busy, stay away from the temptations.  And just don't do it.  Break the habits.

And before you know it....it will be a month and than months and years sober. 

YOU CAN DO IT.

2012-02-24 1:47 PM
in reply to: #4056558

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Good luck in your journey!  Be kind to yourself as you start down this new path.  As others have said, take everything just one day at a time.  Even one moment at a time.  Realize that you *always* have the freedom of choice.  It may not always feel like it, but you do.  If a strong urge to drink comes along -- and it WILL -- just take a deep breath or two and realize that it's just a feeling.  It isn't a command.  And although it's unpleasant, it will pass.  Just try to float thru it.

I gave up drinking too, about 8 or 9 years ago.  I've actually lost track since it means so little to me now.  And I was a serious case -- at my worst, I could polish off nearly a whole bottle of tequila in a day.  The turning point came when I realized it was taking me nearly an entire day or more to recover from a bout of drinking, and that I needed an ever-increasing amount of alcohol to achieve the same level of buzz.  Blackouts were common, and a couple times I remember waking up on the floor of my living room having passed out there thru the night.  

I attended a few AA meetings, but it just wasn't the right path for me.  I guess I was lucky that once I recognized how bad off I was, I found the courage to just quit cold-turkey.  In hindsight that was probably dumb, as I did endure a couple hellish days of cold sweats, trembling, and even hallucinations.  (Like I said, I was a bad case!)

But I can attest to the fact that it is ABSOLUTELY AWESOME when you finally get that demon off your back.  I was so accustomed to waking up with a hangover, that just waking up feeling refreshed was like a new experience!  

2012-02-24 4:03 PM
in reply to: #4064176

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

sulross - 2012-02-24 8:52 AM

For the first time I realized that being sober was my personal journey - it was going to be unfair to others for me to expect them to change their lives to support mine. I learned that my sobriety had nothing to do with my wife, my family, my best friends...it was all about me. If my wife has a glass of wine - she is not sabotaging me. It is life; I had to learn to deal with it.

This is huge. I, and most of my friends, drink. But a couple are sober, and have been for several years. We go on 3-day hunting trips; several of us drink heavily in the evenings and these 2 guys are just fine. I asked if they were OK w/it, and they both told me they are solid: it was something they learned to live with long ago. We have a great time together. Also, I think they enjoy watching some of us suffer the next morning Tongue out 

2012-02-28 11:40 AM
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Hello All!

Thank you again so much for all your support, it is greatly appreciated.

 

As some of you know, I had a slip up last Thursday night.  I beat myself over it for the next few days pretty bad, but I am moving on.  I found another AA meeting that I went to last night...It was good.  Might have to go to that one again.

 

Figured I would update you all, this may be my place to vent if needed as well.

2012-02-28 11:47 AM
in reply to: #4070670

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

I was wondering how you were doing, please do keep us posted. I imagine the accountability will help, too.

Keep on keepin' on



2012-02-28 12:44 PM
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
RushTogether - 2012-02-28 12:40 PM

Hello All!

Thank you again so much for all your support, it is greatly appreciated.

 

As some of you know, I had a slip up last Thursday night.  I beat myself over it for the next few days pretty bad, but I am moving on.  I found another AA meeting that I went to last night...It was good.  Might have to go to that one again.

 

Figured I would update you all, this may be my place to vent if needed as well.

no biggie

get back on that horse...

2012-02-28 12:44 PM
in reply to: #4070670

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
RushTogether - 2012-02-28 10:40 AM

Hello All!

Thank you again so much for all your support, it is greatly appreciated.

 

As some of you know, I had a slip up last Thursday night.  I beat myself over it for the next few days pretty bad, but I am moving on.  I found another AA meeting that I went to last night...It was good.  Might have to go to that one again.

 

Figured I would update you all, this may be my place to vent if needed as well.

First, get off the a** kicking machine. It's pointless. Guilt is a mechanisim to help us improve. We do something, we feel bad, we stop doing it, we feel better. It is not meant for punishment and torture. Use it for what it is intended for.

Second, if you say you are going to stop, and then you don't, all that means is that you need to work harder at it. We learn as we go, and that is true for everyone. Identify what you could have done better, and do it. If what you could have done better was better initial planning or decisions, then good. We learn. Keep at it.

I'll will help you out a bit though... what you are doing right is seeking advice, asking from those that know, admitting you need a change, and admitting when things went wrong. All very good things. By all means... keep doing those things and you will go far.

 

2012-02-28 12:50 PM
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Melon Presser
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
RushTogether - 2012-02-29 1:40 AM

Hello All!

Thank you again so much for all your support, it is greatly appreciated.

 

As some of you know, I had a slip up last Thursday night.  I beat myself over it for the next few days pretty bad, but I am moving on.  I found another AA meeting that I went to last night...It was good.  Might have to go to that one again.

 

Figured I would update you all, this may be my place to vent if needed as well.

{{MELON PRESS}}

That is all. I really admire your courage to put this out in the open.

As my AA sponsor used to say, "Don't beat yourself up ... you're depriving us of the pleasure!"

2012-02-28 1:03 PM
in reply to: #4056558

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Melon Presser
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Just another random nugget that crossed my mind, may be helpful or relevant to some or none (I actually was thinking of this thread, and what I'm about to post, much earlier in the day ... glad to see this resurrected!).

Some people have a problem with alcohol. They also have a problem with quitting alcohol. But when they quit, their problems do go away.

Some people have a problem with alcoholism. This is an illness of which drinking is a symptom. Merely quitting alcohol is not going to make their problems go away; in many cases, it makes it worse.

Part of the process of becoming sober is to figure out which of these (or anything else) you might be, and if the latter, which solutions allow you to deal with the illness and live a healthy life.

2012-02-28 1:14 PM
in reply to: #4064880

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Melon Presser
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Tripolar - 2012-02-25 3:47 AM

I gave up drinking too, about 8 or 9 years ago.  I've actually lost track since it means so little to me now.  And I was a serious case -- at my worst, I could polish off nearly a whole bottle of tequila in a day.  The turning point came when I realized it was taking me nearly an entire day or more to recover from a bout of drinking, and that I needed an ever-increasing amount of alcohol to achieve the same level of buzz.  Blackouts were common, and a couple times I remember waking up on the floor of my living room having passed out there thru the night.  

I still think it is hilarious (well, tragic then, funny now because both of us are much better) that you and I both drank the same way, in the same small town, often in the same small REALLY dive bar, and NEVER HAD A CLUE WHO THE OTHER WAS. Talk about oblivion.

And a small world, and happy endings (no, not THOSE kind, unless you were up to things in Bali I did not know about, hmmm?) when the brain is cleared of the blur of booze.



2012-02-28 1:27 PM
in reply to: #4056558

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Elite
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Renton, Washington
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
I gave it up. Tomorrow is my 60th day :D I also smoked when I drank too, bloody nasty. It was affecting my life and relationships as well..made me extremely depressed which is vicious, drink because I'm depressed, depressed because I drink.  I also suffer from PTSD too which doesn't help. So far so good. I've found other things to do, other things to occupy my mind. Out of these 60 days I'd say I've only had 2 or 3 where the craving has hit me pretty bad but I've powered through it, there's a name for it, like wave surge or something...you just need to ride it out.  Good luck to you, if I can do it ANYONE can do it!!  I've also lost 10lbs by cutting it out too!  If you ever need a chat, just PM me...be glad to be of support.
2012-02-28 9:06 PM
in reply to: #4070924

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Elite
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Cheesehead, WI
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Glad to hear your update!

I heard this in AA - Alcoholism is 5% drinking and 95% thinking. Meetings are a great place to 'get out of your head'. 

Also this nugget - the the disease of alcoholism leaves us with a feeling of "dis ease" with the ability to live life on life terms. Sobriety leads us back to a fulfilling and meaningful life. 

2012-03-02 9:33 AM
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

7 Days!!

 

Kind of a big deal for me, so sorry for the bragging..

2012-03-02 9:37 AM
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Melon Presser
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
RushTogether - 2012-03-02 11:33 PM

7 Days!!

 

Kind of a big deal for me, so sorry for the bragging..

7 days is huge!!!

That's infinitely more time sober than you had before, if you think about it ... but don't. Just for today ...

Congratulations.

2012-03-02 9:41 AM
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
RushTogether - 2012-03-02 10:33 AM

7 Days!!

 

Kind of a big deal for me, so sorry for the bragging..

 

Congrats brother! Keep at it.



2012-03-02 9:51 AM
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Master
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
RushTogether - 2012-03-02 10:33 AM

7 Days!!

 

Kind of a big deal for me, so sorry for the bragging..



Good Job! Keep at it, you're doing great.
2012-03-02 11:30 AM
in reply to: #4076925

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
And just think, tomorrow it will be 8!!  Keep it up, Tyler, you are stronger than you think!!!
2012-03-02 11:38 AM
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Nice!
2012-03-03 8:51 PM
in reply to: #4076859

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
RushTogether - 2012-03-02 7:33 AM

7 Days!!

 

Kind of a big deal for me, so sorry for the bragging..

That's awesome. It will get easier my friend and you'll feel better and you'll be smiling more, at least I know I am
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