Man in ladies room

“No dad or parent should have to wonder – is my little girl going into the women’s bathroom with men in there,” he said. “To have a man in the women’s bathroom is a dangerous thing. That’s just so wrong on so many levels.”

Either this guy thinks all men want to molest his daughter or all cross-dressers are child molesters.  Both which are ridiculous assumptions.

I personally wouldn't care - I think a transgender that truly identifies as a woman is welcome in my rest room.  A dude that is cross-dressing as a halloween costume or a dare can stick to their own bathroom.  I have to welcome boys as old as 7 or 8 in the women's room and can't challenge THAT. 

Side note - in Europe it's not unusual for there to be women's stalls and men's stalls sharing the same washroom area.  It's not that scary, I promise.

do you walk around in complete fear of everyone for everything?  that is why it's silly.  most people are good.  some are bad.  do you just assume all are bad because some are and some always will be?

So how do you control that?  Wouldn't it just be easier to say those with Male parts use the Male restroom, those with Female parts use the Female restroom?

Why not take personal identity out of it and just say use the one that you are anatomically proper for?

On face value I don't like it.

Then I try to remember a crime that happened in a public restroom and I have a hard time coming up with any....except for last week on a nearby college campus where some dude went into the owman's restroom and tried to rape a student there....who was eventually saved by her screaming.

So, I don't know....or maybe I just don't care what anyone else would do.  I've gotten pretty used to watching out for my kids and my family whenever I felt the need to which, admittedly, isn't very often since I tend to agree that most people are good and most places are safe. I guess everyone else can proceed as they wish.

I usually walked to the restroom with my daughters, when they were young, and waited outside.  I can see where I would have probably stood in front of the restroom door if some burly guy in a dress tried to walk in while my daughter was in there....but that's just me. Again, you can let the dude roll in with your daughters....that's your choice.

There are many things that could happen a bathroom, including a bad person sneaking in and waiting in a stall to harrass someone (man or woman, child or adult).   Also, I have seen someone try to steal my purse from the hook.  I am a girl, she was a girl, nothing stopped her from coming in.  Or, a man could be solicited by another man who isn't interested.  Men are jumped and beat up by groups of men, in bathrooms, all the time on TV. I suppose it happens in real life.  Until there's a security guard checking IDs (and body parts?), many bad things can happen in a public restroom.  They can be isolated places, making people vulnerable.

My objection to the outrage is if someone complained about a transgender person simply becasue it made them uncomfortable and it was based on the fear and prejudice that transgender people have to face every moment in life.    I think it's possible that I have shared a bathroom with a man, living and dressed as a woman, and never even knew it.

Also, as mehaner points out, men and women share bathrooms in some cultures.  Not a big deal. I ran across it France a few weeks ago, multiple times.  In fact I like that because you usually get whole little room to yourself, not a stall where someone can reach over or under.  I'd like that in all cases.  It would stop delinquent teens from trying to steal my purse at the Mall of America!

Wait....what?  TV must have changed since I quit watching it. 

There was one episode of ER at least a decade ago where one of the doctors was really creamed in the bathroom.  It was horrible!  I am sure there are other examples, but that stands out.

OK

I'm trying to think how this actually goes down.

So, scenario 1, a transgender person is already IN the bathroom and just waiting for some hapless girl to walk in alone for a chance to do something...  That seems rare/unlikely.  And it could be ANYONE that does that.

Or, scenario 2, a transgener person walks in AFTER my pretend daughter goes in while I wait outside checking who goes in after her and notices ME noticing THEM go in and they still decide to do something to them with me outside?  Probably even more unlikely.

In my actual experience, they went into the men's room when they saw that I was looking that way.  The went into the ladies room when they thought no one was watching.  They don't want to create any conflict either.

Criminals will do what they do.  Most don't want to be caught, so if you don't make yourself a vitim, they pick differenct targets.  I kid with their dad just outside the door?  Not an easy/safe target.

I guess it's about choices.  I prefer to not live in fear.  Everybody around me COULD do me harm at any time.  99.9999% wont.  Lliving on constant alert or preparedness for the 0.0001% is too much work and stress.  There are obviously times that being deligent is prudent (empty parking lots, dark allys...) 

I guess I like to go day to day with the epxectations that people are good and there is no need to be on constant guard.  If I'm wrong?  So be it.  Better than living constantly with the fear that someone is out to get me or my family.

I agree.  And....if you are obviously a man in a dress and you try to go in when my daughter is in the restroom you will just have to wait.  Like I said, it really makes me no difference what anyone else would do, people are free to handle things however they wish.  In fact, I couldn't care less if a man wants to put a dress on and go use the women's restroom, I just figure when my daughter is in there the same courtesy will be extended to me.  If not, there will be a problem.  I'm perfectly OK with confrontation when it concerns my children....the guy in the dress is just going to have to wait.

And again, I completely agree that good people are in such a huge majority that I don't worry much....but since the issue was brought up in this thread, I have no problem saying I won't have it when it comes to my kids.

As for the restrooms in Europe, that's a non-starter.....they are set up completely different than our restrooms here...apples and oranges.

Agree with the Brain on this one.  If a guy in a dress tried to go in the bathroom while my daughter was in there, there would be a problem.  Now if a man in a dress tried to go in the men's bathroom while my (pretend) son was in there, I would not have a problem with it.  

A man in a man's bathroom = ok

A man in a girls bathroom = not ok

This is my standard regardless of how they identify themselves.

I'm all for women in the mens room.  I think it would spice the place up a little bit. 

Obviously it's a tough call and it exposes some of the realities of a society embracing this type of behavior.  I'm not trying to make a judgement on cross dressing or changing sexes, I'm just saying it adds a lot of complexities that didn't have to be considered before.

I suspect this type of stuff will bring about some weird legal issues as well.  If I walk into the women's locker room at the gym to sneak a peak at the ladies in the showers I'll get arrested because they have a reasonable expectation of privacy.  However, if I throw a dress on, am I legally protected to do the same thing?  Do I have to get a name change to Tonya and then it's legal?  Or, do I have to have a surgery?
I think the answer legally speaking is that none of our laws have caught up to this so anyone who is legally a dude could be prosecuted for going into the ladies room (or vis versa)

In a women's rest room there are no urinals - so you really would no idea what 'parts' anyone has-

unless you are peeking under the door and that would make you the weirdo :-)

I don't know- I live in the country (rural) & don't run into this type of situation much, so it might shock me a little- but honestly I doubt I would go tell on the person to the manager- its not like the guy exposed himself or even made a rude remark to her.

As far as protecting kids in public bathrooms, unfortunately in this day you need to find a way to teach your kids what is OK and not OK and how to react to it pretty young, because you don't know if someone will try to harm them whether they are the same sex, the opposite sex or whatever.  

edited to add- by 'teaching your kids what is OK or not OK' I mean as far as someone trying to harm them

This is only tangentially to this thread but your discussion made me think about it.

My sister's husband had a genetic disease that as it progressed made him more disabled.  At first, she would wheel him up to the door of the men's room, and usually some stranger would take him in.  As his illness progressed, she went into the men's room with him.  She felt the disease was enough of a humiliation without taking him into the Ladies'.  To the credit of the men who used the restroom at the time, not one of them complained when they realized the situation although my sister did say a few looked confused when they saw her.

Before he died, the two of them managed to wire get most of the schools in Alaska for internet.  They did this with the grant for Netdays and used the wheelchair to cart wires through the buildings.

His death was preceded by several years of intense and constant pain. I always remember the non-complaining men in the public restrooms and am grateful for their tolerance.

So let's say we have a boy that is transgender and identifies as a girl.  And they are allowed to go in the Girls bathroom.  Do they also have the right to go in the men's?  Say at a Football game, there is a line for the women's bathroom.

At what point do we remove the signs from bathrooms.  If that's the rule (law), then I don't have a problem with it.