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2014-04-17 12:13 PM
in reply to: blueyedbikergirl

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by blueyedbikergirl

Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Comet
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by ChungaThings to place in ones rectum.Surgery nurse for many years, schedule says foreign body rectum and you know it will be interesting.Glass, vegetables that decay over time,,,,,,........one marvels at the choices made when under the influence of the urge.
Woah. Woah. Woah. Is it too early to declare a thread winner?

Mary, are things one puts in one's rectum something that just happens ( like blue cheese) or is it really more of an "invention"?

Vibrating butt plug? Invention. Vegetable. Hmmmmm.

Btw, what's the craziest rectal retrieval you've ever been a part of?

It wasn't me, but our surgical team had to remove the remnants of a broken lightbulb...not safe for your innards!!
wow! Ouch!

Ha!  My ex is a firefighter and one of the first medical calls he went to was for "foreign body in rectum" and when they got there, the guy had put a MASON JAR up there.  Not knowing what to do, he went back to the chief who was still sitting in the truck who told him "okay, the SOP for this kind of thing..."

Wait... there's a SOP for this?? 

Yep, there's a hardening foam they spray into the mason jar (if they can reach it) with a hook sticking out of the end for easy removal once they get the person to the hospital.  

 




This just gets better and better!


2014-04-17 12:18 PM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by switch

Originally posted by ChungaThings to place in ones rectum.Surgery nurse for many years, schedule says foreign body rectum and you know it will be interesting.Glass, vegetables that decay over time,,,,,,........one marvels at the choices made when under the influence of the urge.
Woah. Woah. Woah. Is it too early to declare a thread winner?

Mary, are things one puts in one's rectum something that just happens ( like blue cheese) or is it really more of an "invention"?

Vibrating butt plug? Invention. Vegetable. Hmmmmm.

Btw, what's the craziest rectal retrieval you've ever been a part of?



Well the excuse is generally that it 'just happened' as in I fell on this _______
However I think it is invention as in using things 'off label'

Top 3:

Vegetable, squash to be specific. Not the intended purpose and I am a vegetarian saying that
Glass candle jar as in wide bottom
Huge huge huge toys, like you would expect to perhaps be used in the larger more pliable point of entry.

Perhaps these could be enjoyed in moderation but vigorous use is not recommended.

Personally, I will try many things....Butt........
2014-04-17 12:26 PM
in reply to: Chunga

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented

I never in a million years would have guessed the direction this thread has ended up going.

2014-04-17 12:30 PM
in reply to: TriMyBest

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by TriMyBest

Slot head screws.

My grandfather used to say that they should dig up whoever invented them and shoot him.

 




X2 - They should ban the continued manufacturing of these evil bastages.
2014-04-17 1:30 PM
in reply to: TriMyBest

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by TriMyBest

Slot head screws.

My grandfather used to say that they should dig up whoever invented them and shoot him.

 

Totally agree!
2014-04-17 1:33 PM
in reply to: zed707

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by zed707

I never in a million years would have guessed the direction this thread has ended up going.

Sometimes it just needs a little nudge


2014-04-17 1:36 PM
in reply to: Chunga

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by Chunga
Originally posted by blueyedbikergirl

Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Comet
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by ChungaThings to place in ones rectum.Surgery nurse for many years, schedule says foreign body rectum and you know it will be interesting.Glass, vegetables that decay over time,,,,,,........one marvels at the choices made when under the influence of the urge.
Woah. Woah. Woah. Is it too early to declare a thread winner?

Mary, are things one puts in one's rectum something that just happens ( like blue cheese) or is it really more of an "invention"?

Vibrating butt plug? Invention. Vegetable. Hmmmmm.

Btw, what's the craziest rectal retrieval you've ever been a part of?

It wasn't me, but our surgical team had to remove the remnants of a broken lightbulb...not safe for your innards!!
wow! Ouch!

Ha!  My ex is a firefighter and one of the first medical calls he went to was for "foreign body in rectum" and when they got there, the guy had put a MASON JAR up there.  Not knowing what to do, he went back to the chief who was still sitting in the truck who told him "okay, the SOP for this kind of thing..."

Wait... there's a SOP for this?? 

Yep, there's a hardening foam they spray into the mason jar (if they can reach it) with a hook sticking out of the end for easy removal once they get the person to the hospital.  

 

This just gets better and better!
SOP! Jeeeeeeeeeezus. I'm trying to imagine how long I would wait and what I would attempt before making that call. Did your ex ever lose his composure. I mean, mason jar? Good lord! I thought fists sounded scary.
2014-04-17 1:38 PM
in reply to: Chunga

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by Chunga
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by ChungaThings to place in ones rectum.Surgery nurse for many years, schedule says foreign body rectum and you know it will be interesting.Glass, vegetables that decay over time,,,,,,........one marvels at the choices made when under the influence of the urge.
Woah. Woah. Woah. Is it too early to declare a thread winner?

Mary, are things one puts in one's rectum something that just happens ( like blue cheese) or is it really more of an "invention"?

Vibrating butt plug? Invention. Vegetable. Hmmmmm.

Btw, what's the craziest rectal retrieval you've ever been a part of?

Well the excuse is generally that it 'just happened' as in I fell on this _______However I think it is invention as in using things 'off label'Top 3:Vegetable, squash to be specific. Not the intended purpose and I am a vegetarian saying thatGlass candle jar as in wide bottomHuge huge huge toys, like you would expect to perhaps be used in the larger more pliable point of entry.Perhaps these could be enjoyed in moderation but vigorous use is not recommended.Personally, I will try many things....Butt........
Mary, posts like this are why you and I are going to meet in person one day!
2014-04-17 1:45 PM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented

Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by zed707

I never in a million years would have guessed the direction this thread has ended up going.

Sometimes it just needs a little nudge

need more than a nudge to get a mason jar in there, i'm thinking.

2014-04-17 1:51 PM
in reply to: 0

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by mehaner

Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by zed707

I never in a million years would have guessed the direction this thread has ended up going.

Sometimes it just needs a little nudge

need more than a nudge to get a mason jar in there, i'm thinking.

No doubt. I'm guessing you don't go zero-to-mason jar. There'd be a progression, no?

Serious question: can a rectum function normally after an object that large has been there? I'm not usually one to judge people's fettishes, but it's hard to imagine voluntarily signing up for the short-term, literal, PITA and the long term issues. No sex is worth irreversible anal leakage.

Edited by switch 2014-04-17 1:53 PM

2014-04-17 1:56 PM
in reply to: 0

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented

Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by mehaner

Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by zed707

I never in a million years would have guessed the direction this thread has ended up going.

Sometimes it just needs a little nudge

need more than a nudge to get a mason jar in there, i'm thinking.

No doubt. I'm guessing you don't go zero-to-mason jar. There'd be a progression, no?

Serious question: can a rectum function normally after an object that large has been there? I'm not usually one to judge people's fettishes, but it's hard to imagine voluntarily signing up for the short-term, literal, PITA and the long term issues. No sex is worth irreversible anal leakage.

How in the world do you get Barney and irreversible anal leakage in the same thread? 



Edited by popsracer 2014-04-17 1:57 PM


2014-04-17 2:00 PM
in reply to: popsracer

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by popsracer

Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by mehaner

Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by zed707

I never in a million years would have guessed the direction this thread has ended up going.

Sometimes it just needs a little nudge

need more than a nudge to get a mason jar in there, i'm thinking.

No doubt. I'm guessing you don't go zero-to-mason jar. There'd be a progression, no?

Serious question: can a rectum function normally after an object that large has been there? I'm not usually one to judge people's fettishes, but it's hard to imagine voluntarily signing up for the short-term, literal, PITA and the long term issues. No sex is worth irreversible anal leakage.

How in the world do you get Barney and irreversible anal leakage in the same thread? 

That's pure thread beauty right there, Steve. Don't deny it.
2014-04-17 3:50 PM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented

I have an ex-ER nurse on my staff so I had to ask.

screwdriver

plastic lid from can of hairspray -  Should have used the other end I guess.

I'm a pretty conservative guy so she kind of looked at me like. "ahh, why do you want to know that?" I just had to chuckle.

2014-04-17 4:13 PM
in reply to: popsracer

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by popsracer

Originally posted by briderdt

Skinny jeans.

Barney.

Most every Disney sit-com-for-kids ever made.

The Ford Explorer Sport-Trac.

Rap.

 

Barney was on my short list too.  As were teletubbies, care bears, and my little ponies.  Smurfs can stay




You forgot to add The Wiggles to that list! Every once and awhile I curse to myself after I realize that I was humming one of their songs. My daughters used to play their show over and over.....
2014-04-17 5:25 PM
in reply to: 0

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented

Originally posted by Chunga
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by ChungaThings to place in ones rectum.Surgery nurse for many years, schedule says foreign body rectum and you know it will be interesting.Glass, vegetables that decay over time,,,,,,........one marvels at the choices made when under the influence of the urge.
Woah. Woah. Woah. Is it too early to declare a thread winner?

Mary, are things one puts in one's rectum something that just happens ( like blue cheese) or is it really more of an "invention"?

Vibrating butt plug? Invention. Vegetable. Hmmmmm.

Btw, what's the craziest rectal retrieval you've ever been a part of?

Well the excuse is generally that it 'just happened' as in I fell on this _______ However I think it is invention as in using things 'off label' Top 3: Vegetable, squash to be specific. Not the intended purpose and I am a vegetarian saying that Glass candle jar as in wide bottom Huge huge huge toys, like you would expect to perhaps be used in the larger more pliable point of entry. Perhaps these could be enjoyed in moderation but vigorous use is not recommended. Personally, I will try many things....Butt........

Fusilli Jerry

 

 



Edited by TriMyBest 2014-04-17 5:28 PM
2014-04-18 5:48 AM
in reply to: TriMyBest

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by TriMyBest

Slot head screws.

My grandfather used to say that they should dig up whoever invented them and shoot him.

 


your grandpa was right, those suck!


2014-04-18 9:14 AM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by switch

Originally posted by popsracer

Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by mehaner

Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by zed707

I never in a million years would have guessed the direction this thread has ended up going.

Sometimes it just needs a little nudge

need more than a nudge to get a mason jar in there, i'm thinking.

No doubt. I'm guessing you don't go zero-to-mason jar. There'd be a progression, no?

Serious question: can a rectum function normally after an object that large has been there? I'm not usually one to judge people's fettishes, but it's hard to imagine voluntarily signing up for the short-term, literal, PITA and the long term issues. No sex is worth irreversible anal leakage.

How in the world do you get Barney and irreversible anal leakage in the same thread? 

That's pure thread beauty right there, Steve. Don't deny it.


There were times when my children were small that I wanted to take Barney and shove it up the azz if its creator. Come to think of it I still do.

2014-04-18 10:22 AM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by switch

[
Mary, posts like this are why you and I are going to meet in person one day!


Elesa, I think this is mandatory!

2014-04-18 10:29 AM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Originally posted by switch[/

Serious question: can a rectum function normally after an object that large has been there? I'm not usually one to judge people's fettishes, but it's hard to imagine voluntarily signing up for the short-term, literal, PITA and the long term issues. No sex is worth irreversible anal leakage.


I would think that if you do enough damage to a sphincter you are going to have problems that require medical intervention. Steep price to pay. At minimum I don't see how a mason jar would not cause tearing yikes.

2014-04-18 11:05 AM
in reply to: popsracer

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented

Originally posted by popsracer

I have an ex-ER nurse on my staff so I had to ask.

screwdriver

plastic lid from can of hairspray -  Should have used the other end I guess.

I'm a pretty conservative guy so she kind of looked at me like. "ahh, why do you want to know that?" I just had to chuckle.

Steve, two questions:

1) Did the nurse happen to mention how a screwdriver gets stuck?  I found myself thinking about this on my run, and I can't figure it out.

2) Is she looking at you differently today? :)

 

2014-04-18 11:07 AM
in reply to: Chunga

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented

Originally posted by Chunga
Originally posted by switch[/ Serious question: can a rectum function normally after an object that large has been there? I'm not usually one to judge people's fettishes, but it's hard to imagine voluntarily signing up for the short-term, literal, PITA and the long term issues. No sex is worth irreversible anal leakage.
I would think that if you do enough damage to a sphincter you are going to have problems that require medical intervention. Steep price to pay. At minimum I don't see how a mason jar would not cause tearing yikes.

Exactly!

 What  possesses people to think sticking glass in their azz is a good idea? Lightbulb? Mason jar?  Dang.



2014-04-18 11:08 AM
in reply to: NXS

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented

Originally posted by NXS
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by popsracer

Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by mehaner

Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by zed707

I never in a million years would have guessed the direction this thread has ended up going.

Sometimes it just needs a little nudge :)

need more than a nudge to get a mason jar in there, i'm thinking.

No doubt. I'm guessing you don't go zero-to-mason jar. There'd be a progression, no?

Serious question: can a rectum function normally after an object that large has been there? I'm not usually one to judge people's fettishes, but it's hard to imagine voluntarily signing up for the short-term, literal, PITA and the long term issues. No sex is worth irreversible anal leakage.

How in the world do you get Barney and irreversible anal leakage in the same thread? 

That's pure thread beauty right there, Steve. Don't deny it.
There were times when my children were small that I wanted to take Barney and shove it up the azz if its creator. Come to think of it I still do.

Hilarious! 

2014-04-18 12:20 PM
in reply to: 0

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented

Originally posted by switch

Originally posted by popsracer

I have an ex-ER nurse on my staff so I had to ask.

screwdriver

plastic lid from can of hairspray -  Should have used the other end I guess.

I'm a pretty conservative guy so she kind of looked at me like. "ahh, why do you want to know that?" I just had to chuckle.

Steve, two questions:

1) Did the nurse happen to mention how a screwdriver gets stuck?  I found myself thinking about this on my run, and I can't figure it out.

2) Is she looking at you differently today?

 

Apparently, it just worked it's way further and further in until, oops. oh no,...its gone.

Nah, she knows me too well.  While I'm pretty conservative, I'm not judgemental and I like to joke around a lot.



Edited by popsracer 2014-04-18 12:21 PM
2014-04-18 4:54 PM
in reply to: popsracer

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented
Not really trying to take this in an environmental direction. Thinking more along the line that some inventions aren't better than an older, simpler device.

Bottled water. (Use the tap.)
Leaf blowers. (A rake.)
Compact flourescent bulbs. (Incandescent bulbs.)
2014-04-18 5:22 PM
in reply to: donw

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Subject: RE: things that should never have been invented

Originally posted by donw Not really trying to take this in an environmental direction. Thinking more along the line that some inventions aren't better than an older, simpler device. Bottled water. (Use the tap.) Leaf blowers. (A rake.) Compact flourescent bulbs. (Incandescent bulbs.)

Yes yes yes on the leaf blowers!!!  Those things annoy me to no end.

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