NewTAN's Third Law of Motion (Page 23)

Re: wedding

The destination weddings I have been to, I was told very clearly up front that I was responsible for my air fare, lodging, transportation, food, etc. A simple email right after the invitation was sent was upfront about how they really wanted everyone to come, but understood if finances wouldn't allow for it, etc. This email between girlfriends also started the conversation of who could bunk up together in hotel rooms and share cabs, etc. 

That said, once I got to those venues, the couples had some nice touches like a welcome bag in my hotel room (with maps, schedules, some candy, bottled water, restaurant suggestions, etc.) and one had a coordinated event (a sunset sail! really nice and not expected at all) for everyone NOT in the rehearsal, while the rehearsal was going on and we were waiting on them for the dinner. 

I agree if they can't afford it, they shouldn't come (unfortunately). How close is the date? Can you send a mass note to everyone outlining that they are responsible for their own? 

I think the "paying for guests to come" is an old tradition that honestly, has gone to the wayside except for older people and/or traditionalists.  Same for the "brides family pays for everything".  It's too much money for one family to take the whole burden (in most cases).

We didn't pay for anyone to come to Vegas, nor would I unless it's immediate family I NEEDED her and they can't afford it.

BUT, I made two "concessions".  I wasn't going to be upset if anyone couldn't make it due to finances as long as you say so before the RSVP date.  I also said (though not officially - just let our parents spread the word) if you are shelling out money to come to Vegas, then we considered that a gift to us.  Your presence was your gift.  We didn't expect gifts anyway - but even less if they paid to show up.

my wedding was a "destination" wedding, kind of.  i considered my obligation to point you in the direction of where to stay, how to get around, and what to do while you were here, but not to pay for any of that.  who the heck is even asking for that??  i've never heard of that!

Only destination wedding I have ever been to was one that my wife was In the wedding party, and since she was in the wedding, the bride paid for our hotel room, which was nice.

My venue is 12 miles from my house so its not a destination wedding its just that many on my guest list do not live here.  They were given 3 hotel choices and I offered to put up the immediate family at my place.  My whole wedding party is staying at the venue and I am covering that but there are only 8 rooms at the venue so I can't put EVERYONE there. 

Random thought of the day: "You can't milk a chicken, but you can egg a cow."

Weddings are really frustrating because they seem to bring the crazy out in everyone.  My mom who is normally cool as cucumber about things got all weird with me when I didn't invite some of her distant relatives.  I was paying, we already had a few people bringing dates and such that i'd never met, excuse me for not wanting people I barely know at my wedding.

The funniest though was to Kido's thing about traditions and how they are going away - as mentioned my hubby and I paid for our wedding and so i asked if my parents might do a low-key rehearsal bbq for us and my mom said 'Well, traditionally, the groom's family pays for the rehearsal,'

And my sister cheekily replied, 'Mom, traditionally, the brides family pays for the wedding!'  

Rando wedding thought. Do you gals (or guys?) ever watch Say Yes to the Dress on TLC? It's one of my guilty pleasure TV shows and I can admit to watching 3 or 4 episodes in a row when they run a marathon . Anywho, one of the things that cracks me up is the brides who have a budget of, say $3,000 for their dress. But they fall in love with an $8,000 dress and buy it anyway. I mean, I'm all about going over a tiddy bit in the budget if you can cut back somewhere else, but more than double just makes me giggle every time. 

Budget. You keep using that word but I don't think you know what it means!

Yes I watch it.  Of course.  Its like mind candy.  You can hardly get a dress in there for 3 grand its CRAZY.  Then the girls who have to have TWO dresses and spend like $100,000. INSANE.  They had some girls on and it followed them thru their whole ridiculously expensive weddings.One girl had THREE dresses and they spent like a 1/2million on the wedding.  That is just obscene.  You could build like 50 schools in africa for that!!

Thats a good one. My mom was all Gee I can't tell somedistantcousin of hers about the wedding because she will want to be invited.  I was like "MOM I have met her like twice in my life she is not invited." 

I will watch it on occasion (usually at my mom's house because we don't have cable) but it is insane!  Not just schools in a Africa but how about a long way to their own financial security by putting that money on a down payment on a house or for their retirement ... maybe some people can afford it but that shouldn't be the expectation for most people.  I know it's not glamorous but pays off in dividends later - unlike a wedding.

They spent like $25,000 on CAKE!! CAKE for petes sake??? WTF is wrong with these people? Clearly very wealthy, I think the mother of the groom paid for everything but STILL!!!! I would be embarassed

nephew #4 is here!  hanging out with nephew #2 and when he wakes up from his nap get to take him to meet his baby brother.  should be interesting....

Congratulations! Very exciting for everyone!

Today has been frustrating because there have been too many instances where I'm being taken for granted.  Not taken advantage of, but taken for granted.

I would/will normally do what has been arranged/demanded of me, but why can't people still ASK nicely instead of just assume?

Part of me wants to say "I'm not doing any of those things you expect of me because you never ASKED me if that's what I wanted" and just assumed I would do it.

didn't you quit that job yet?  you can pull the whole "not my problem" card.

Hello, TANnerites.  I just wanted to stop in once and say:
1). Because Kido is too dammmmmm nice, that's why.
2). A little bird was heard saying that a little Gerpan/Japerman turned 40 today.  I sense 40 shots of Makers Mark being attempted whilst wearing a cowboy hat.
3). It's Ironman weekend here in Mooland, which is my favorite time of the year next to Halloween.
4). Miss youses. *swak*

Hi TAN, i am working on a terrible project - on a terrible teleconference and i need a little venting!

ARGH!!! 

i do NOT ever want to be a stay at home mom.

that is all.

I have begun to hate, loathe and despise ComEd.  I have called 3 times since last Friday.  Each time, they promise to call me back.  Nothing.

I was just on hold to speak to a supervisor for 30 minutes.  I couldn't wait any longer and had to hang up to go to a meeting.  I think they do this crap on purpose.

They have a monopoly.  At least as it relates to service and fixing things.  Why should they care if I'm angry.  I can't go anywhere else.  I can't drop them as a provider.  There is no other option.  I'm screwed.

It has been a long week here. The boss was in town all week and we had to put our dog to sleep on Wed evening. Tough week!

so sorry about your puppy  

Thanks, still have a yard time looking in the backyard and not seeing her...

song stuck in my head of the day:

Cause it's all about that bass, about that bass, no treble!