WwCOJD? - Name Change (Page 2)

Thanks for brining the typo to my attention, I was trying to say the cooler one between the maiden and married name, was just a suggestion.

??

To the OP, i'd say go with one sounds cooler. I don't think matters a great deal, she should do what she feels best about.

What I meant was - the kids' father's last name is their legal name. It's what they know, it's their identity, the only identity they've ever had. Depending on how old they are, changing it on them could be confusing, traumatizing, etc. Maybe awkward for them to have to explain why their last name isn't the same anymore. If they're a little older, they might be resentful. So, when they are old enough to decide that for whatever reason that they do NOT want to carry their father's name anymore, then fine. It's one thing for an adult to go back to the name they grew up with. And perhaps the woman might feel animosity towards carrying her ex-husband's last name. She HAD a name, an identity, that she grew up with until she married this person. If that makes any sense.

It was just my suggestion.

I can understand the law being that way IF the father is involved. A just law would provide an exception for those who are/were in a similar situation as you.

At 16 it no longer mattered.  I never understood the logic of that but was happy it was finally granted. That day, even though I was old enough AND we had made numerous attempts to find him with no luck, the judge said to me,  "you do realize it is a man's god given right to know if his child is changing their name" ... I said to him "is it a man's god given right to abandon his child and not pay child support as well?" ....  he signed the papers.