Breast feeding is offensive? (Page 3)

Sorry, he was on solid food at that time. 

Wow, that was very brave of you - and you are most definitely going to be flamed!  You should know that your comfort and rights are not important because you do not have boobs or a child.  I only rank a tiny bit above you because I have boobs and a child but I chose not to breastfeed.  Yep, I am one of those evil and selfish women who fed my children formula - eeeek!  I won't even get into the reasons why because it is no one's business but mine and my husband's.

I guess the issue I have here is that the lack of consideration for others and the feeling that someone's rights trump someone else's.  It's terrific that some women choose to breastfeed but what's with the screw you/in your face attitude?  I don't get why there can't be some consideration to everyone and we can't come up with a happy medium.  I have no issue with someone discretely breastfeeding a baby, but some  (yes, I said some, not all) women feel the need to make it a huge deal.  "I will whip it out wherever I want!"

It's just a shame that people can't just accept that the world is full of choices and we should just respect the fact that everyone lives their lives differently.  A little respect and compassion on both sides would go a long way.

Autumn...The 3 yr old comment was my own prejudice.  That's why I said I wasn't a doctor.  I honestly don't know if that's too old or not.  Just society/my mental norm.  (correct or incorrect).

In regards to bottle feeding...that's a VERY good question.  The only difference is the vessel.  Again, I think my proper place bells are going off.  NOT saying that's correct, but you could just as well put the breast milk in a bottle and go that route.  Is there a difference there?  Not stating...ASKING.  I don't know.  Is this a situation where pre-planning should be thought of as a courtesty to those around you?  I know we have a right to do many things...but we don't because of "pressures" on us.  Thoughts?

I would think of what's best for my child, FIRST and foremost.  But we're not talking about something that comes out of the blue.  You know your child will get hungry...plan for it.  (still on the fence here..but leaning Mom's way!)

MomX3,  I wasn't trying to annoy you.  I wasn't equating breast feeding to pooping either.  Please understand that.  I was trying to illustrate the point that if you have a child there are extra burdons on you that you have chosen to place upon yourself.  That's why I also included the movie theater scenario.  I'm not saying that you can't take your 1 month old to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre 18, I am just saying that you have to prepare or alter your "normal" routine.  Ie by sitting by an exit in case he/she cries.  It's all about planning and thinking ahead.

Finally, Autumn...that picture of the mom smoking...can I get her number?  She's HOT!!  And in regards to smoking, I don't think that anyone should have the right to smoke around me.  If you smoke, do it around other smokers so they can kill each other faster!  that's why I laugh every time I see the Airport "smoke lounges".  And you can't smoke in a non-smoking area in a restaurant.  It's out of courtesy to others.

I think I just hit bottom and started digging Robit79...Please send Nancy nice flowers...she liked Tiger Lilly's and Roses...with the occasional Sunflower!

Wow, I had the opposite experience.  I had the lactation consultants stalking me constantly in the hospital and by phone once I was home after I expressly and clearly stated that I was not going to breastfeed.  It would be nice if the hospital could understand there are two options and support both options equally.

I hope you don't think anyone on this thread has a "screw you" attitude or has a lack of consideration for formula feeding mothers.  Just because I want to be able to breastfeed when and where I need to doesn't mean I'm saying "screw you" to anybody.   Do I think breastfeeding is the best food for a baby?  Yes.  Does that mean I think you have to do it?  No.  But I also don't think anyone else has the right to say that breastfeeding in public is "gross."

I can imagine that, too.  I guess it would just be nice if they listened to the mothers no matter what they say.

My decision to breastfeed my children was MY decision and your decision to formula feed was YOUR decision and I respect your decision 100% because it is your decision to make, not mine. And when I say I whip it out whenver I want, I don't mean to imply that I was not discreet. Of course I don't want strangers to see my boobs, but I cannot isolate myself from society either, just to make sure I don't make others uncomfortable. As you know, babies eat a LOT and if I had to stay home and not go out in public every time one of my babies had to eat, I'd never be able to leave.

I respect you and the decisions you make for yourself and your family. I respect ALL mothers who make informed choices and I TOTALLY AND 100% advocate that mothers make choices based on not only what is right for their child but what is also right for THEM as a people.  I hope I have made myself clear that I do not at ALL wish for mothers to sense any kind of judgement on my part because I do not judge. Like I said, we each have to honor our own paths and I bet we are all great mommies and daddies.

Wow, you must be at rock bottom.  So should it be the standard Sunflower of the Mamouth (12'-14" in diameter)? Just repeat this phrase to every woman you meet and you will be ok. "Yes my lady, you are correct. It is my fault since I am a male." Its what has kept me alive so far.

Since all the mom's are here may I ask a serious question.

I know that everyone has said, it's the mother's choice and things of that matter.  Do your husbands have any say in this?  The reason I ask is because Nancy and I talk about everything.  I even know what kind of tampons she uses and why.  I'm progessive like that!

If you and your husband disagreed as to which way to go about breast feeding.  Would you take his counsel?  Would you give him the benefit of the doubt (assuming that he's just not being an A$$ and is informed)

I guess it boils down to is it a family decision or purely a mother's decision.  I'm just trying to set myself up for more knowlege for the future.

Thanks!

this is seperate from the location of the feeding, btw.

Kimta, just wondering what might envision as a "happy medium". I think having nice, designated breastfeeding rooms is great, but also believe women should not have to use them if they CHOOSE not to. And lots of times they are next to the smelly bathrooms....

I have never in my life seen a mother breastfeeding who was not trying to be discreet. Like I said before, I know I do not want people to see my boobs, so I was as discreet as possible while still taking care of my child. And when you have 3 other kids to care for as well, it becomes impossible to schedule your life around a baby's feeding schedule. Just some thoughts...

Do you tell your wife what kind of tampons to use? I believe the same goes for anyother decision she makes that has to do with her body as long as she is not harming herself. My wife and I do discuss most issues, like breastfeeding and decisions during the delivery. All I could to is offer support and opinoins, but its all up to her.

Sorry that you had that experience.

I witnessed a similar thing over the issue of circumcision.

It was during a birthing class session that my wife and I took with another couple. None of our boys are circumcised, just don't see any reason for it except one. In this case, the other couple was Jewish. So circumcision seemed very appropriate for them for a bunch of reasons.

Anyway, the teacher was militant about the issue, and thought that circumcision was akin to torture. Maybe for female circumcision, but certainly not male circumcision. Being a man, I thought I had standing on this particular topic and came to the defense of my friend and his wife. The teacher finally backed down. The couple ended up having a girl.

Also remembering a very sweet thing when our youngest was born. He was big, over eleven pounds, and was having trouble getting enough food and liquid while my wife's milk was coming in.

So our neighbor, who had given birth three or four months earlier, offered to co-nurse him until my wife was up to speed. She'd come over two or three times a day for about a week. It was pretty wonderful. Our families have gotten to be much closer since then.

Be more specific. I am assuming you both have the best needs of the child at heart, so breastfeeding should be something you would want for your child. BUT, many women choose not to breastfeed for personal reasons. Some I have known have had issues with past sexual abuse or other serious body issues and for them it was not best to breastfeed. I would not support you pushing your wife to do something she was not physically comfortable with. And I would not support you telling your wife not to breastfeed cuz you don't want her boobs to sag. Or you don't want her to be "all emotional" (happened to a friend of mine so she gave up breastfeeding after 2 weeks).

So be more specific and we can discuss.

Good question!  In one of my post's above I mentioned that bottle feeding was a decision that my husband and I made together.  We are a team and we try to make all our decisions together.  He was actually a stay-at-home dad when the kids were little and I went back to work.  We do things a little differently then other families but it has worked out wonderfully for us!  I guess that would be a whole other thread though!

Now you're back to making me smile again.  And of course, how could I look at your avatar and not laugh anyway!

To answer your question - my husband did have a little bit of say in how I fed my first baby.  I didn't want to breastfeed.  I was nervous about it, thought it would hurt, thought it would be weird and all that stuff.  He wanted me to breastfeed.  He knew all the health benefits of nursing and couldn't believe that I ever considered not breastfeeding.

I read somewhere that the first 6 weeks were the toughest - once you're over that hump you were supposed to sort of have the hang of it.  I made a deal that I would nurse for 6 weeks, but if by then I still didn't like it I would quit and he would have no say. 

Needless to say I didn't quit.  Quite the opposite I became a huge advocate for nursing.  I planned on nursing my first until at least age 2 but she self weaned at 21 months when I was 5 months pregnant with number 2. 

I don't know all the pro's and cons of breast feeding.  But all I've heard are pro's.  What are the cons?  I'm a both issues kind of person.

I don't think that your breast will sag is a real platform one could stand on.  I'm sure many men have tried that one...just guessing!  Hypothetically, you wanted to breast feed and your hubby came up with scientific/real reasons as to why it's a bad idea.  Does it become a discussion or is it a one way decision?  Just curious.

Right now, I'm 100% in the breast feed column.  But I have never done the research AND am not in a position where it would be a bad idea.  I'm asking more on the phylisophical (sp) front.  Is it just the mom's decision or both?  I agree it's the Mother's body, but it's the couple's child.  If the hubby said, I don't want you to breast feed, then the mom can't say, it's  my body, you can't make me.  If he wanted her to and she didn't want to, that's a whole different matter.

I definitely flashed more belly flab than boob.

The first time I was about to nurse in public I was a little nervous.  I had taken the baby to Ft. Lauderdale with my mom and brother.  We had just finished eating lunch when Grace got fussy.  I decided not to feed her in the restaurant because we were about to leave and I wasn't sure how long I woudl take.  I went outside to a bench alone while my mom and brother paid the check.  I sat on the bench and was trying to figure out the best way to do this - I was juggling the baby, my non-nursing shirt and a blanket that I thought I would cover Grace with (hah - that was a joke!)  All of a sudden I saw this woman walking down the street holding her older baby in a baby bjorn - he was facing her and she had her tank top pulled aside and he was nursing - as she walked down the street! (somehow she was barely showing any skin - the baby's body covered it I guess)  She stopped and admired Grace's tiny feet sticking out of the blanket.  I told her I was impressed she could do that while walking around - she said she had things to get done so she had to just nurse ont he go.  I am so gladI saw her that day - I took the blanket off Grace and nursed in public without being nervous from then on.