The required bicycle bell

it's a law where i live it fire a gun in the air when approaching an intersection to warn all on horses or horse drawn carriages that i'm approaching with an automobile.  

in summary: just ignore it unless you see merit in following it. 

i looked at getting a bell to troll people during fast paced group rides or whatever, but they don't make them to fit typical road bike handlebars.  has anyone actually found anything that works?

You're onto a million dollar idea there. Get out the carbon fiber!

^^ I prefer people just pass and keep their shouting and their bells to themselves. Course I am not one of these self absorbed "only person in the world" people who weave all over the path or hang out on the right. 

This only applies to running, as I have never been passed on my bike...

Here there is the bell law but you can also have a whistle.

I don't have a bell on my tri bike or road bike nor do i carry a whistle - i don't really use them in a way that requires it, i think.  I just risk it.  

I recently started bike commuting and I have a fat tire bike to ride and it does have a bell on it and is surprisingly useful when out and commuting around lots of cars and pedestrians.  Yelling, wouldn't work very well as so many people don't think anyone is talking to them.  And traffic is louder than my voice. 

I also was once irked by the bell but it can be a useful head's up that a bike is approaching, especially from behind or around a corner.  Most people on foot have no idea what to do when you call out 'on your left' - usually they look around a like a deer in the headlights and go left ... bah! 

I agree completely. 

There is a regular podium finisher around here that rings a bell on his tri bike when passing - and he passes a bunch of people.

That might actually get the attention of all those walkers/runners wearing headphones.  I always shout extra loud when I see them.  Haven't hit anybody or crashed because of one yet but I wouldn't be surprised if it happens someday.

I've had this happen in a race!  It was Mont Tremblant 70.3 in 2013.  I was coming up behind someone to pass while someone else was starting to pass me (the roads are plenty wide to pass 3 wide).  As I was approaching the rider in front they started to move over to to the left.  Suddenly I hear "ding, ding, ding" beside me and sure enough the person pulled back over to the right.

The bike that was passing me with the bell was a fully dressed up super bike with Zipps and electronic shifting....... and a bell.  

Probably an electronic super aero carbon fiber bell that plugs right into the di2 junction box.  Press the bell button without even having to move your hands.