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Male body image issues, weight and etc...
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  2006-11-19 1:37 AM |
 Subject: ...This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-11-19 2:21 AM in reply to: #603268 |
| Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Hey, guys have body issues, just like women do. The only difference is most of them don't talk about it.. so kudos to you for bringing it up. Honestly, I think the vast majority of us compare ourselves with the 'ideal' out there - it doesn't matter if you're male or female. Maybe it's the hottie at the gym, the person running past us on the trails, the smokin' co-worker or the model in the latest CK ad... I'm sure I don't need to say this, but weight is an arbitrary number. Depending on muscle tone, bone structure, body fat percentage and so on.. one person at 160 will look completely different from another person at the same weight. I'm at the point where I want to lose 15 more pounds, which will put me at 160. For a woman at 5'6", that's considered heavy.. but for someone with my bone structure and muscle weight, it's probably right where I should be (if I want to look healthy). I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're okay with your weight, then don't worry about what other people think, or where other people are. It's just a number. Here's another thing to think about: Your so-called pillsbury doughboyness is one of the things that makes you look like YOU.. and not anyone else. So why not embrace it, instead of beating yourself up about it? I know it sounds fluffy.. but can you imagine what would happen if we were all ripped and tanned and completely buff? Not only would it be very boring (and really hard to tell who is who  ) but believe it or not, we wouldn't be happy. Why? Because there will always be someone who is MORE ripped than us. And we'd keep trying to look like them. Holy long-winded. Apparently I have lots of thoughts on this topic. Anyway, should you keep working on 'becoming cut like the other guys'? Only you can answer that question. I hope you're content with your decision, either way.  |
| 2006-11-19 6:13 AM in reply to: #603268 |
New user 501 | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Great subject!! And it's a subject I've struggled with since about 6th grade. I'm 6' tall, and down to 155 - 160 from 242. And you know what? The body image issue hasn't gone away. I still worry about looking fat, and there are other guys who are still more ripped and look better (or at least I worry they do). I still see myself as my "old self", meaning I am still reluctant to go without my shirt on, etc. Everyone's different. If someone is confident enough in themselves to have an extra 10 pounds somewhere, I admire them greatly. It would be great to feel comfortable in one's own skin, no matter the weight, physique, body composition, etc. |
| 2006-11-19 7:18 PM in reply to: #603268 |
Champion 9430     No excuses! | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Again great subject. I am painfully learning what everyone has always said " Wait til you get older shedding the pounds gets a lot harder." I always have had bad eating habits although have been very athletic. Now after taking off basically the last year from hard training or road racing I find myself a good 25 pounds overweight. I feel I should ultimately get to 175 to be my prime racing weight but have always struggles once I get to 185. Currently 200, I find those last 10 are "impossible" knowing I guess at that point will power needs to kick in and say no sometimes. I could always count on being in the top 5-10% of finishers in most any road race even winning a few but looking at my body composistion vs other finishers who would be minutes behind is just frustrating. I would love to at least have my abs showing and not that little roll. Well I'll keep fighting!! |
| 2006-11-19 7:30 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Pro 4507 Simpsonville, SC | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... I'm a lot like Mark G. I lost 27 pounds a year ago but I still see myself as heavy. We all do body comparisons but I've noticed something interesting. I've seen so many women who are ripped competing against me in tris. I make the assumption that they are going to kick my a$$. But you know what? They don't. It's usually a beefy woman, or a woman who has really short legs or someone twice my age. So sometimes those great genes don't translate into faster times. Don't know if you've read Friel's tri bible or not, but he says "train like a horse". Horses don't go around on race day (or training rides) saying stuff like "Look at the legs on that stud. I wish my legs looked like that." As for lifting weights, why spend your precious training time doing something you hate for vanity's sake? If you notice your core is weak or you're having difficulty with your pull during the swim, you may need to do something for performance reasons. I think it's human nature to strive for perfection but none of us will ever be perfect. Pam P.S. (Those women are freakin' out cuz you weigh less than they do ) |
| 2006-11-19 9:41 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Expert 821 Golden, CO | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... I only have the body image problem when I look at photos of myself - In my mind I am pretty good looking Seriously - I am 6' 225 right now and would love to get back to 185. I do not want the typical triathlete's body - I would much rather carry more muscle. This will help me with my other sports. My concern is that I do play a lot of sports and as I get older I cannot perform the way I used to even with the weight.. Thus I must get fitter. Volleyball is a good example of where I need to lose the weight and have a better body image - especially come summer time. I turned 39 this year and the whole body image is really getting to me - a lot of the people I play volleyball with are in their early 20's and I have been asked if I am playing with my kids..and my wife is getting carded...That is a wake up call. I think the extra weight I carry as well as my graying hair and glasses tend to make me look older. Thus I am wearing contacts and shaving my head...what a difference that makes..Weight loss and muscle definition will help even more. I am not vain - but I think I am becoming much more cognizant of how people perceive me both personally and professionally. |
| 2006-11-20 12:14 AM in reply to: #603268 |
| Extreme Veteran 532 Munich, Germany | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... i think it's human to always want more and more and more... more money, a bigger house, a faster car... and a better body... when i started my weightloss journey at 257lbs (and i'm only 5'4) i looked at people who were about 170lbs and i thought "wow - i'd be more than happy to look like them... i don't want to be any skinnier"... well now i'm down 85lbs and still feel really really fat... i look at people who weigh a lot more than me and who wear 2-3 sizes bigger than me but i still think i'm bigger than them... i see people wear certain clothes and i wish i could wear them too and then someone tells me i'm smaller than those people, better built too... but i just can't do it... all this makes me wonder if i'll ever be happy about the way i look... oh and scott - i'm only 25 but never got carded in my entire life... till lately... every time i want to go to a club i have to show my ID - and here in germany you only have to be 18 to get in hahaha |
| 2006-11-20 12:53 AM in reply to: #603268 |
| Member 26 | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... This thread is a good idea, its nice to know women aren't the only ones insecure about their bodies! I know what you guys mean when you feel fat even after losing the weight,though I need to relose some of the weight I lost! I've always been the "fat friend", so I'm really insecure about my body in public. However, I've found it really helps your self esteem and comfort level to "practice" inside. My belief is that we use our clothes as barriers and supports for our self esteem. Once you get that into your mindset, you equate being covered with being safe and even after losing the weight, you can't bring yourself to go uncovered, therefore, not really knowing how your body looks. Something that really has helped me has been belly dancing. I still wear a tshirt and long pants, but gradually the shirt and pants get tighter so I can make sure I'm doing the moves right. Also, when both my roommates are gone, I'll run around the house in a sports bra and shorts or tight fitting pants. It has really helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin, even before I've lost the weight. Man or woman, it doesn't really matter, you can always put your favorite music on and dance around for a little while! As a bonus, you can count it as some fun cardio! Even if you start with baggy shirts and pants, I bet they will start to shrink as you learn to love the (shrinking) skin you are in! Rachel |
| 2006-11-20 4:55 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-11-21 2:48 PM in reply to: #603268 |
Master 1201 Indian Harbour Beach, Florida | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... If you makes you feel better I am COMPLETELY traumatized every time those Victoria Secret TV commercials come on. Those women set an UNBELIEVABLY high standard. It's rough being so imperfect. |
| 2006-11-21 3:29 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Extreme Veteran 412 Fort Worth | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Great topic Scott. Okay, another comment from the male perspective. My weight loss expedition started at 240lbs. On my 39th birthday I weighed in at 185lbs (see my avatar). The numbers sounds great, but I see that picture and I look at that doughnut of a belly. Granted I am soaked (rain like crazy that day) and the shirt is stuck to me like a second skin, but man how I would love to airbrush that belly off of me. Recently I found some old pictures of me when I was heavy. I showed these pictures to people that know me know. Most people did not believe that it was me (I had hair in the pictures). Everyone says that I look much better now and are amazed at my progress. BUT!!!! I still want to get rid of that belly. I tell myself that I need to loose another 10lbs to get rid of the handles and the doughnut. It is that desire that helps push me forward. But I sometimes wonder if it will every be good enough in my mind. My suggestion, keep working at it. It is that desire to be better that pushes us all forward. |
| 2006-11-21 5:17 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Master 2060 Northern California | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... spokes - 2006-11-18 11:37 PM I read the threads in here and note the frustrations and triumphs you all share with each other, but hadn't seen many threads on male body image issues and weight... because we have these as well (and the gals are welcome to contribute your thoughts to this thread). I'm frustrated - and looking at some of the weight that many of you have to lose, I shouldn't be at 5'5" and 148 or so, but I still have my "High School PB&J Belly" - that 10 pounds or so of fat that doesn't come off or at least I'd have to practically starve myself to get rid of. Its the weight that keeps me from taking my shirt off to race 5Ks... my legs from 3+ years of cycling and running look great but from the waist up, I look like the Pillsbury doughboy... and I've got the genetics that no matter how much I lift (something that I don't like to do) I'll never be 'cut' like some of the guys that you see doing tris... or do I just keep working at it? This just drives me crazy too as compared to some of the guys on BT I'm heavy for my size when I see 160-170 lb 5'10=6' tall guys (and you also see this amongst cyclists). But then when I tell women my weight, they start to freak out about how I'm "too light, or too small" even though this is healthy for me! Ugh. Simple (meaning arbitrary and broad brushed)? You need to lift more weights. Heavier weights. You are (probably) what some would call 'skinny fat.' You have very little upper body musculature - that is from not lifting with the same passion that you attack tri-training (not from some genetic misdeal). People probably think you are too light - because you don't appear strong. Add 10 lbs of muscle (while losing that last 10 or so around your gut) and, while the scale stayed the same, your entire body composition will change. Strong. Lean. Muscular. The only way to do this is with a dedicated resistance program. |
| 2006-11-21 9:25 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Regular 132 Regina, Saskatchewan | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... I definitely think that more males have body image issues than people think. In the past couple years I've gone from 270 lbs to 202. My goal was always to break the 200 lb barrier which would be the first time since high school a long time ago. As I get close to my goal, I realize that everything won't stop when I get down to 199. It's just a number and I know I'll set another goal after that. It's human to want to constantly better ourselves. I think there's a fine line between pushing yourself too hard to reach a goal to a point where it becomes an obsession. When this happens I think it's important to look back at the improvements that you've made and remind yourself of your accomplishments. Looking back will allow you to focus on continuing to strive for new goals. Having said all that....I can't wait to get under 200!
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| 2006-11-21 9:37 PM in reply to: #603651 |
| Regular 85 Kelowna | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... kathie - 2006-11-20 12:14 AM i think it's human to always want more and more and more... more money, a bigger house, a faster car... and a better body... no, that's just marketing. Same with the body image stuff: we're programmed by TV and advertising to feel bad about our bodies so that we go spend money to try and "fix" it. |
| 2006-11-21 10:15 PM in reply to: #605911 |
| Master 1915 Hamilton, Victoria | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... trisportnick - 2006-11-22 12:25 PM It's human to want to constantly better ourselves. I think there's a fine line between pushing yourself too hard to reach a goal to a point where it becomes an obsession. When this happens I think it's important to look back at the improvements that you've made and remind yourself of your accomplishments. Looking back will allow you to focus on continuing to strive for new goals. I couldn't agree more! "Often we don't realize how far we have come because we are so caught up in the process of achieving" - Tony Robbins |
| 2006-11-22 1:13 PM in reply to: #605754 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. Edited by spokes 2006-11-22 1:13 PM |
| 2006-11-22 2:13 PM in reply to: #606560 |
| Master 2060 Northern California | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... spokes - 2006-11-22 11:13 AM Simple (meaning arbitrary and broad brushed)? You need to lift more weights. Heavier weights. You are (probably) what some would call 'skinny fat.' You have very little upper body musculature - that is from not lifting with the same passion that you attack tri-training (not from some genetic misdeal). People probably think you are too light - because you don't appear strong. Add 10 lbs of muscle (while losing that last 10 or so around your gut) and, while the scale stayed the same, your entire body composition will change. Strong. Lean. Muscular. The only way to do this is with a dedicated resistance program. Lay some on me! Thanks! Simple and very effective program - 3x per week (ideally) 40mins each session (roughly). Leave at least one day between sessions - I leave 2 days between (M/TH/Su/Wed/Sa/Tu/Fr/M, etc.) Perform squats, deadlifts, rows, military press, bench press, dips and pullups. Day 1 - (3 sets x 5 reps) Day 2 - (3x8) Day 3 - (2x15) If you don't want to do squats, do walking lunges or step ups. You could also switch deadlifts for good mornings (but deadlifts are the king of lifts, so think twice about not doing them). If you can do more than the rep scheme for dips and pullups add weight with a dip belt. Eat like it's your job? Give this 3 months and you won't recognize yourself in the mirror. |
| 2006-11-22 2:25 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Master 2005 South Florida | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Scott, I've read your blogs for a while now and not to be judgemental (as I sit here eating bugles and coke) That being said, you are probably just being a little hard on yourself....Like I tell my ladies, people don't just see you as a belly or thighs, they see you as a whole person. |
| 2006-11-22 10:55 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Extreme Veteran 495 Horse Country | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Excellent discussion ... Im a forum lurker who just started getting back into the swing of things. Still havent completed my first tri but have run some 5K and 10K races in the past two years. As a swimmer in high school, I did two a days plus weights and ate reasonably for a teenager and still always had a bit of a gut at 6' 175lb. I know what you mean when you say you feel destined to never lose that last little bit. I shot up to 230 after high school when I quit swimming and have been struggling with self esteem ever since. Off again on again workouts and diets I find myself back to 185 by basically becoming single again and cutting a few simple vices (alcohol, regular soda, french fries). I still have love handles and a gut and stretch marks though  Who knows when Ill ever really feel comfortable taking my shirt off at the pool ... I know it bothers me, and probably always will. Im interested in a girl now who runs marathons and is in VERY good shape ... who knows what she will think of the fat guy? When it comes down to it ... I have to live with myself at the end of the day. And dogonnit, I feel good after spending 30mins on the treadmill, I feel good when I eat subway instead of mcdonalds, I feel good when my size 36 pants are 2 sizes to big for me. Gotta take the small victories and make sure you pat yourself on the back for it. |
| 2006-11-22 11:18 PM in reply to: #606961 |
| Regular 132 Regina, Saskatchewan | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... The psychological aspects of being overweight at some point in your life can definitely be tougher to change than the weight itself. Even after I lost weight I still felt exactly the same way as before, when I took my shirt off at the pool/beach. I think a part of me will always feel that way to a certain extent. Thoughts about ourselves are often overexaggerated. As I increase my fitness level and achieve my goals (one at a time) those thoughts become more realistic all the time. Once we realize that we're not striving for perfection....we'll start winning the battle. |
| 2006-11-23 5:33 PM in reply to: #606961 |
| Master 1915 Hamilton, Victoria | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... grit_nugget - 2006-11-23 1:55 PM Im interested in a girl now who runs marathons and is in VERY good shape ... who knows what she will think of the fat guy? When it comes down to it ... I have to live with myself at the end of the day. And dogonnit, I feel good after spending 30mins on the treadmill, I feel good when I eat subway instead of mcdonalds, I feel good when my size 36 pants are 2 sizes to big for me. Gotta take the small victories and make sure you pat yourself on the back for it. Mate, confidence is what it's all about. Be comfortable with yourself and your body shape will be inconsequential. I would suggest that this girl would be much more interested in your training and your sports interests than the shape of your body. Ang good on you for your choices. |
| 2006-11-23 11:00 PM in reply to: #606653 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-11-24 7:52 AM in reply to: #603268 |
| Elite 3067 Cheesehead, WI | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... I love it! I love that men are finally experiencing what women have for decades! I've always had a body complex. Like I read, Victoria's Secret models (loooooong skinny legs and huge hooters)and Hollywood women (rail thin) don't help the average woman with building a healthy image of her body. Isn't the average size in the USA like 12 for women? Anyhow, my husband who struggles from time to time with weight, really seems to be in such a better zone when his weight is lower vs. higher. His whole self esteem shoots up! He is not a fashion hound by any stretch of the imagination but will be more apt to wear nicer clothes and non fat clothes when the weight is lower (he has fat and skinny clothes for the 20-25 lbs variance). He is not into working out but figures older guys like Sly Stalone and other Hollywood folks resort to plastic surgery or are training 6 hours a day. So the real issue becomes for both sexes - what is healthy? I would love to see what is deemed the ideal view change from waif thinness or rock hard young toned body to a view of healthy and realistic weights for each individual. Frankly, its just too dang hard to work to meet 'ideals'. In my late teens and 20's, I was obsessed with being super thin. But I spent way too much energy feeling sick, weak and tired and I still did not look like the 'ideals' -- I never could get my legs to be skinny sticks. Genetics is a HUGE factor on what our body make up is. Get this: During dinner my three year old boy who is an extremely little peanut and on the low end of weight suggestions said he didn't want to finish his dinner because "I don't want to get FAT!!!" I nearly cried!!! I asked where he heard that and he said his day care teacher says it. This is from a kid that burns off food as fast as he eats it. What messages are our kids learning from this weight perfect body obsessed society!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!?!?!? YIKES!!! Edited by BbMoozer 2006-11-24 7:58 AM |
| 2006-11-24 8:15 AM in reply to: #607447 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-11-24 8:27 AM in reply to: #607457 |
| Elite 3067 Cheesehead, WI | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... spokes - 2006-11-24 8:15 AM !!! On the first point, most of 'em do have personal trainers and their 'job' is essentially staying in shape. Which, if you make millions per movie, or 10s to 100s of thousands per week on a popular TV show, isn't all that hard. You just go to the gym when you're not working. amazing how much obesity is out there... just unbelieveable. We're not talking about the 10-20 extra pound variety either (which is probably actually healthy) but folks who need to lose 50 or more... A Yeah, would be nice to make millions so I could put more time in the pool, on the bike or running! And yeah, around my house, we call really obese people CHUBBERS. We have a cat that is fat thus a chubber too. I figured chubber sounds better than fat...but when my little boy decided to comment on the physiques of a neighboring table of people while dining in a Chinese restaurant --- as in "Look ! That man and lady are chubbers!" -- I don't think chubber sounded much better than fat at that point. |
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