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Male body image issues, weight and etc... (Page 2)
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 2006-11-26 1:19 AM in reply to: #603268 |
Master  1924    Denver |  Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc...Spokes, this is directed at you, but others are welcome to read too. About 15 months ago I got a scary wake up call I had a physical and my cholesterol and BP were in the DANGER zone. Cholesterol had to be attended to immediately, and the Doc told me I better get back to exercising. I basically killed all sports(soccer,ski racing,biking) mid 2001 when my twin girls arrived. I didn't even notice but in the last few years i went from a longtime weight of 155 up to 180. One day I looked back at pictures and a belly stared back at me...holy crap ! I am 5'8" and 180 lbs don't look too pretty on this beeyotch. Here is what I did: I went to 24 Hr Fitness and interviewed trainers. I hired a trainer and started three 1 hour sessions with him per week. We then did an amazing thing...he gave me a metabolism test so I found out what my metabolic rate was, and how I could adjust my diet best way. Most importantly, we reviewed my diet and the trainer came up with a new one for me. I worked out with a fairly hard weight routine, but not huge weights. I started eating a lot of protein, and cut out Coca Cola which I was addicted to, and most other junk food. I wasn't a horrible eater, but I didn't give it a second thought previous to this to go into Taco Bell or BK and scarf down a bunch of their junk. Next, I discovered Thai kick box class. One hour of throwing kicks and punches while simultaneously kicking your own *ss. This hurt, but it did help that I was usually one of three or so guys amongst twenty to forty women at each session  I began to like this class! I did this two to three hours a week. My core strength developed quite nicely. I also started to do a half hour of stairs or elliptical each time I went to the gym. At the peak I was lifting three days, with 30 minutes of machine cardio on each of those days, plus two to three hours of Thai kick boxing. The "belly weight" came off me faster than I could have imagined ! I went from a 34 waist to a 31 waist and my jeans were literally falling off me. Now there's no belly, and it hurts to try to grab skin on my sides where love handles used to be. I recently bought one of those cut-off tri tops (by accident , online) but feel that I can pull it off even though I am not a twig. I don't want any guys to think for a minute that if you drop similar weight (proportionate to your own starting number) and replace fat with some with muscle that you won't be willing to bare your chest whenever the urge occurs. I am so much thinner and more confident, I'd take my shirt off at the gym if it was allowed. One year later, I am fitter than many of the people at my gym (one dimensional athletes). I am now working on particular areas of my body to sculpt it the way I desire; my four pack stomach needs to turn into a six pack, and I need some more muscle in my shoulders and biceps. Legs are looking good, but I'd like more muscle there as well, for more power on the bike. Don't let anybody tell you that you can't do this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cardio+weights, minus junk food=hot bodies |
| 2006-11-26 5:19 PM in reply to: #603268 |
Master 1219 Sachse | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Wow..great job! The kickboxing drills will work you over.... Most of the time, the bags are harder on you than an another person. In a past life, I ended several sessions losing my lunch. Kenny |
| 2006-11-27 4:53 PM in reply to: #608391 |
Master 1924 Denver | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Anybody think my points will work for them, or is it too much....? |
 2006-11-27 4:53 PM in reply to: #608194 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-11-27 7:25 PM in reply to: #603268 |
Regular 81 St. Louis metro east , clinton co Il | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... This is a very good topic.. One I am getting to be more and more of a part of. I was a jock growing up and the past 10-12 years i didn't do much. I started the adkins diet in july, I was at 278lbs. I wanted to lose some weight and get healthier.. 5 months later I am down to 216 and working out and feeling great Now comes the problem.. about a month ago I tried getting off of the diet. knowing i would need to eat better to be able to keep up energy. in that month I have started down the slippery slope of an eating disorder. I find myself thinking about my weight all day long.. I can tell you everything that I have eaten the past couple of days..Ihad to really concentrate to eat today as I was not hungry at all. I now view myself as heavy and needing to lose more weight.. I know i am developing a problem and with the help of my family am dealing with it.. So yes body image is a big deal to alot of people, male or female, and needs to be addressed to help those that really need it.. don;t get me wrong I know losing some weight is a good thing but too much is bad..I am trying to view myself in a more positive light.. sorry to ramble but i had to get it out and this seems like the perfect thread. |
| 2006-11-27 7:39 PM in reply to: #609460 |
| Regular 132 Regina, Saskatchewan | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Congratulations on your weight loss! I think it's common that a person who has lost weight still views themselves as heavy. It's happened to me as well. I think with time that feeling will start to lessen. Have you considered seeing a dietician or nutritionist. This will help you get onto a healthy diet that can be maintained for a lifetime. Good luck! |
| 2006-12-03 8:03 AM in reply to: #607470 |
| Veteran 192 Houston | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... BbMoozer - 2006-11-24 8:27 AM spokes - 2006-11-24 8:15 AM !!! On the first point, most of 'em do have personal trainers and their 'job' is essentially staying in shape. Which, if you make millions per movie, or 10s to 100s of thousands per week on a popular TV show, isn't all that hard. You just go to the gym when you're not working. amazing how much obesity is out there... just unbelieveable. We're not talking about the 10-20 extra pound variety either (which is probably actually healthy) but folks who need to lose 50 or more... A Yeah, would be nice to make millions so I could put more time in the pool, on the bike or running! And yeah, around my house, we call really obese people CHUBBERS. We have a cat that is fat thus a chubber too. I figured chubber sounds better than fat...but when my little boy decided to comment on the physiques of a neighboring table of people while dining in a Chinese restaurant --- as in "Look ! That man and lady are chubbers!" -- I don't think chubber sounded much better than fat at that point. With my work, I spent 2 years in southern France working at a plant and living their lifestyle. Every time I flew back to the states I was shocked getting off the plane. So many people carrying around a lot more weight than they should. Then you hear about the reasons why, the food and wine... Not true! My experience was that these people enjoyed their sports! Their recreational soccer-- that I joined, included workouts of 3hrs two times a week. They would cycle 30-40 km to and from work. Getting around town also usually required parking the car at an outside lot and walking around for an hour or two. I must admit that I used to drive to the mailbox in my neighborhood (0.25 km) instead of walking, running, or cycling. Now, I'm trying to spent more time active to get my weight down instead of nit-picking my eating (which doesn't work for me). |
| 2006-12-03 10:26 AM in reply to: #607470 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-12-07 12:33 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Extreme Veteran 454 Denver CO | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... For all the guys that are concerned about not having a washboard stomach or something similiar, maybe this observation will cheer you up Both myself and almost all of my girlfriends like guys with more bulk, rather than "perfect" men. I have never heard one of my friends (and my friends are hot, yall, let me tell you) say "I won't date someone unless he has a perfect a body." Yeah okay, we like the looks of guys on tv, but in reality we wouldn't choose todate someone like that. Too much pressure! With men like that, you constantly have to watch yourself. You can never have a fat day! I find it even more common with my girlfriends that are the most fitness-minded and weight conscious, because they don't like feeling that their boyfriend (fiance, husband, etc) have flatter stomachs, better bodies, etc etc. Women are actually more comfortable with men that have a little fat on them, b/c they'll feel their bodies aren't bad in comparison. Plus there's the whole feeling safe thing with a guy that has some bulk. And I'm not just talking about msucle here. My friend Meaghan, easily the most beautiful and in-shape of my friends, didn't like when her boyfriend Mike lost his beer gut. She says now she feels self conscious and doesn't have any room for relaxing with her own body (taking a day off from the gym, having a beer or two). Of course she'd never tell him this, so he has no idea. So take this as you will, but I thought I'd throw it out there. The stereotypical move star bodies are nice to look at, but in real life, real women prefer real men. quick edit: Having some extra tummy and being sedentary/lazy/unhealthy are NOT the same thing. Active men with some extra weight are still sexy. Men who get winded on a flight of stairs are not. Everyone knows you can be very active and healthy but have some junk in the trunk. Me, for example Edited by freckle face 2006-12-07 12:43 PM |
| 2006-12-07 1:10 PM in reply to: #618627 |
Master 2060 Northern California | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... freckle face - 2006-12-07 10:33 AM I find it even more common with my girlfriends that are the most fitness-minded and weight conscious, because they don't like feeling that their boyfriend (fiance, husband, etc) have flatter stomachs, better bodies, etc etc. Women are actually more comfortable with men that have a little fat on them, b/c they'll feel their bodies aren't bad in comparison. "There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you." ~Nelson Mandela |
| 2006-12-07 5:06 PM in reply to: #618627 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. Edited by spokes 2006-12-07 5:07 PM |
| 2006-12-08 12:23 AM in reply to: #603268 |
| Member 93 Central Coast, CA | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Great thread, very interesting. Like many people have already said, I think most men have body image issues. I think even those with great physiques probably feel pressure to maintain because their body image becomes a big part of their life. I did get a wake up call when I went for physical in 05 and my blood pressure was something like 130/95. I weighed around 178 at the time(I'm 5'7"). I got off my a$$ and started exercising again. I'm now at 150 and just checked my BP yesterday and it was 105/61. I try to look at my body image more from the perspective that I want keep in shape so I can better participate in my children's and grandchildren's(I'm going to be grandpa any day now, my daughter is due to deliver on 12/8) lives. I also want to set an example of healthy living for them. And finally, I would like be around as long as possible, in a quaility manner, to enjoy life. I try not get caught up in what I think other people think about my body, but I'd be lying if said it doesn't feel good when someone says I look good. I think it can be a fine line between being overly body image conscious and unhealthy. I just try step back if I think I'm getting a little to caught up in it or letting things go too much. |
| 2006-12-10 2:06 AM in reply to: #603268 |
| Master 2278 State of Confusion | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... I've looked back at pictures of me 10 years ago, and I have to ask myself "why is youth wasted on the young??" I was too young and dumb to know how good I really looked. Fast forward 10 years, marriage, 2 kids, mid thirties, etc.etc. and like everyone else I wrestle with this same issue. My goal as I head towards my late 30's/40' is to accept who I am now blah, blah, blah. I am still going to eat healthy, be active, and (hopefully) dazzle people with my sparkling personality to detract from whatever jellyrolls might await my future! On a serious note...nutrition, nutrition, nutrition...it does matter, and as we get "older" it becomes more important. If I want to get to where I want to be, I have to be diligent about everything I eat, and for me, when I eat it. I'd also like to think I am at an age where the superficial stuff matters less. I'm a good person, my family loves me, my friends enjoy my company, I have friends who are bigger than me, and friends who are smaller than me and it just doesn't matter. Edited by NightOwl 2006-12-10 2:07 AM |
| 2006-12-11 10:26 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Expert 683 Fort Worth, Texas | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Three years ago, when I hit 230, I finally realized that simply playing soccer once a week wasn't going to cut the weight. I was also slow(er) than normal, couldn't hang as a midfielder, couldn't get the ball where I wanted it to go and was letting myself (and in my mind, the team) down. My wife started at a new gym with new programs and I joined up, too. Fast forward to the present day. I'm 39 and flirting with 199. I've done two tris this past summer with many more planned for next year, including a HIM. I ran over 13 miles on Sunday, my longest run, ever. However, as I sit here and read all the posts on this excellent thread, sipping a non-light beer and having just had a slice of leftover pizza for dinner (also had to miss my indoor soccer game due to a long-a$$ work day), I know why dropping under 200 for good and getting those final love handles/front cusion is so hard to do. It's going to take some seriously hard choices about food/beer intake. Or perhaps I'll resign myself to enjoy all the weight loss I've acheived (I need a new hole in my 38 belt to really keep my trousers up) while continuing to enjoy a beer or two. In fact, all my dress clothes dang near fall off me. That's a great problem to have, but I'm reluctant to get them tailored, yet, as I'm not confident that this thing is real. Now our eldest daughter is "monitoring" her weight by announcing her pounds each morning. She'll be proportionate, like her mom and me, and probably never a stick. Good thing, too, but we've got to watch her closely and not let her slip into the media/tween girl fueled hysteria over body image. She sees mom and me working out, and she wants to exercise, too. She plays soccer and will do her first tri next May. All this is a long-winded way of saying that while body image is one thing, body reality is another. Be the best you can be, make improvements where you can, but do them for the right reasons - for yourself, not for the hunks or hotties at the beach or the pool. If you're half as fit as you all say you are, consider how many beach goers are "chubbers" as another poster put it, if you must compare, and be proud of what you've accomplished. Finally, for you ladies wondering - I, for one, prefer my woman fit (as she is). The Hollywood waifs and Vic Secret chicks are artificial. Wow! that was cathartic. |
| 2006-12-14 3:45 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Master 1324 Rochester, NY | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... I've hesitated to wade into this thread because there are a lot of tangents to what I've done. But I think its worthwhile to discuss some points. First, a little background. Two years ago, after turning 36, in the Fall of 2004, I weighed a touch over 200 lbs, had 25% body fat and a 36" waist. My belly was firmly pressing against my pants, indicating that 38" waist would soon be needed. With a father who had a heart attack at age 54, I knew that I was heading down a dangerous path. I started being consistent in going to the gym at lunch. I committed to it. Even if work got crazy, I would go. I'd do spin classes, or jog on the treadmill, or stair climber. Something different every day. Come spring time, I was down to about 197. Late spring, I joined a masters swim group. I had a crazy idea of doing a triathlon! The summer of 2005, I did 4 sprint tris. By fall of 2005, I was down to about 185. Over time, due to reading and other education, my diet also improved. I eventually cut way back on junk food. I cut way back on processed grains. I started eating more whole grains, fruits, vegetables, nuts, lean meats, fish. The more of the good stuff that I ate, the less of the bad stuff that I craved. I kept up my workout schedule over the winter, going at lunchtime with a swim session once or twice per week. Weight continued to come off. By spring 2006, I cracked 180. As summer approached, I set an Olympic tri as my goal. My weekly exercise increased to about 8 or 9 hrs. I was eating constantly. Very large volumes of food. But it was good food. Very little junk. I was not able to fulfill my race goal due to various leg injuries. But all that work led to me getting in great shape. By August 2006, I was down to 168, about 5% body fat, and a 30" waist. I had a washboard stomach. I had a swimmer's body. I loved the way that I looked in the mirror. Or at the pool. Or on a bike. And I received a lot more attention from women. I don't know if it was the self-confidence or looking that good, but there was a very noticable increase in attention as I got in really good shape. I took a lot of pride in the fact that, as a 38 yo father of 2, who has a desk job and sits on his butt all day, I had a washboard stomach. When we watched the latest James Bond movie, I thought to myself, Daniel Craig looks a lot like me. (Not I look a lot like him.) Yes. I do have a male body image issue. Two years ago, I had no idea that I would ever get into that kind of shape. I only wanted to drop 10 pounds or so and be more healthy. But as I lived a lifestyle of fitness and quality eating, I came to have a body that would do just fine on the movie screen. The primary goal has never been about appearance. It was about being more healthy, or eating right to fuel my body for workouts. Looking better was secondary. But once I had the appearance, it felt pretty damn good. Its something that I took pride in. Through this story, I wanted to make several points: 1) Eating right and exercising regularly will lead to the body you want. Although I did not describe it above, my weightloss came in roughly 5 pound increments. I'd drop 5 pounds, stay at that level for a couple of months, then suddenly drop another 5 pounds. This did not stop until I reached approximately 5% body fat. 2) The better you eat, the less junk you crave. Thats not to say that you don't splurge every now and then. You've got to live. But making good food choices the vast majority of the time does lead to results. 3) You can eat a lot of food and still lose weight. Just make sure that its quality food and that you're exercising regularly. 4) Men do have body images. I wasnt real worried about it for a long time. But once I had a really nice body, I was very aware of it and proud of it. Edited by Ridgelake 2006-12-14 3:45 PM |
| 2006-12-14 6:08 PM in reply to: #624435 |
| Master 2060 Northern California | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Ridgelake - 2006-12-14 1:45 PM By August 2006, I was down to 168, about 5% body fat, and a 30" waist. I had a washboard stomach....
Please tell me that you aren't a hair over say, 5'5"???? |
| 2006-12-14 8:15 PM in reply to: #624530 |
| Master 1324 Rochester, NY | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... coachese - 2006-12-14 7:08 PM Ridgelake - 2006-12-14 1:45 PM By August 2006, I was down to 168, about 5% body fat, and a 30" waist. I had a washboard stomach....
Please tell me that you aren't a hair over say, 5'5"???? I'm 6'0" |
| 2006-12-14 9:14 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Regular 132 Regina, Saskatchewan | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Congrats on your accomplishments! Those are some impressive numbers! |
| 2006-12-15 9:06 AM in reply to: #603268 |
| New user 501 | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... Ridgelake, Your story is exactly like mine!! I've lost 85 pounds, am down to 158, and also have a 30" waist. And I never had body image issues until I started having a decent body. Thanks for sharing your (our) story, as it makes me feel good that I'm not alone! |
| 2007-02-01 4:13 PM in reply to: #603268 |
| Master 1696 Surprise, Arizona | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... I am also a male who has struggled with weight and body image issues since my teenage years. In fact, my first swim training session last year was the first time I had taken my shirt off in public in years, and I felt I was doing it out of necessity (that was before I discovered the wetsuit!). I also found farily quickly that there is little room for self consciousness in transition, and I would have to get over my insecurities if I was going to change shirts, etc. to proceed. Although my weight has not changed since I started training, being involved in triathlon has done wonders for my self image. Being able to complete a tri (one sprint and one 1/4 IM to this point) has made me feel better about myself than any of my previous diets or weight losses (some successful) ever did. Now, I am able to focus less on what my body LOOKS like and instead focus on what it can DO. Being able to call myself a triathlete has made me more confident, and I have found myself wearing clothes that I wouldn't have been comfortable in before and standing up straighter than I used to. Being in an event, looking around at all of the fantastic athletes, and knowing that I have trained hard enough to be among them is a very gratifying experience, and has made me feel much, much better about myself. As others have said, you can always find someone in better shape than you are - everyone is different, and we can all find a place where we are comfortable with who we are and how we look and feel. |
| 2007-02-01 10:38 PM in reply to: #618977 |
| Member 21 northern Alberta | Subject: RE: Male body image issues, weight and etc... There are some excellent posts in here - too many to quote directly. I would like to offer a very heartfelt congratulations to those who've lost massive amounts of weight - I commend you on your achievements and I am blown away by your willpower. Here's my take on all of this: I hear you on the body image issues. I'm a naturally stocky guy and I carry a fair bit of muscle. However, over the last three years, I put on probably 30 pounds of fat. This last year has been a wake-up call in that I can't stand the way I look in photos anymore (where the hell did my cheekbones go?) and I'm having difficulty buying shirts at normal stores because I can't fit it in the neck. Hence I decided to get back into shape by doing a triathlon this year. I share the sentiment that I didn't recognize how good I looked when I was younger - I look at those photos now, and man, I'd kill to look that good now. But, the noted American philosopher Jesse James (he of "Monster Garage" fame) said in an interview that there's a huge difference between being fit and looking ripped like a male model and being miserable because you have to maintain a ridiculously strict diet to stay so ripped. Muscularity tends to be overrated by guys. I would suggest that you need to prioritize your goals. If you want to lose the gut, you're not going to do it while building muscle. It just doesn't happen that way because you need a calorie deficit to burn fat, but you need a calorie surplus to build muscle. Regardless, getting back into the weight room is a good idea, and you can't go wrong with already-recommended "grand-daddies" of weightlifting like bench presses, squats, chin-ups/lat-pulldowns. I'd also recommend getting a body-fat tester so that you know what's really happening to your body as you gain or lose weight. Good luck to you. |
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